Prayer Request

At my last employer, there was a guy, a real political suck up whom had advanced to senior vice president and was only months older than me.  One day he left his office, told his secretary he was going home and not feeling well.  This I could hear over the partition of my little "office" area.  Then the splat as he hit the floor.  He was dead before he even hit the floor according to the medics - massive brain aneurism.

I had a terrible call on Thursday from one of my oldest friends.  I was chatting with the husband on FaceBook, when the wife called me up on my phone and so I two conversations going.  I thought it funny at the time.  However, for as light as his train of thought was, hers was very troubling.  Then their son hops onto chat with me as well.  Which was odd, this never happens with any of them and me!

I was to learn that my first god-daughter, has developed a brain aneurism - which is leaking.  It is bad enough she lost her job due to the frequency of blacking out episodes.  And she is refusing any surgery.  So much prayer needed.

She was a very successful model - with all the pain and misery which goes with that.

She just turned 37 on Thursday.  So as part of her birthday wishes on FaceBook, I also sent her message with my current phone numbers in case she wanted to talk.  But, she still has not called.

She has always known what is right and what is wrong, she just chooses wrong every time.  And, I would like to see her pull her life back together before it is too late.  With this artery leaking, it is probably not going to be much longer until, like Alan, it ruptures and is all over.

And that will be a very sad day ...

:(

Pain, Anger & Walls

Last week and into this week, has been a mighty hard transition.  Kris is ______, just fill in the blank but be sure that whatever word(s) you use are negative.  Nothing positive allowed unless it is going to be backhanded, you are the only one empowered to inflict pain because in spite of words, I know your struggle and your pain.

I continue to struggle in almost all areas of life.

Physically, I have a broken leg in two places and no longer have a foot.  I have a glob of flesh with powdered bone and five toes sticking out of it.  And the doctor is delighted!  I have reached the peak of the disease/syndrome and still have a little sliver of an arch left.  So that means he has something to work with in rebuilding the foot.  No, it will never be what it used to be, but he thinks it will still be functional by the end of the year through the usage of orthopedic inserts.  And unlike 91% of those whom get this curse, I appear to be able to keep the leg!  All I have to do is be good - no weight on foot, no carbohydrates or as little as possible.

And so the family and I had a meeting about their expectations of me when I only have one leg.  I can not stand for hours on one leg doing dishes, I unfortunately can not do the cooking as I proved Friday night and broke so much stuff it sickens me! I can not bag, nor haul the trash out of the house.  And in the same vein I can not do the laundry nor clean the house.  All of what I have done for years and was unheralded for.

And anger has been the general response from the family, now that they can not play computer games because there is housework to be done while Mr. Broken just sits there.  Sort of the exact opposite of the past five years.  Only I do not want to sit, I want to be up and about and instead am stuck on my bum from not being able to do literally anything!  If nothing else I would be sorting for my departure from this nightmare.

Emotionally, I have no end of people willing to tell me what is wrong with me and how undesirable I am in their life and to their life.  I have no one I can really dump on, so I did on Swedish Rocket Scientist as we drove to see Captain America on Saturday night.  It was actually a sort of test for him.  I needed someone I could talk to but also I needed to know if I could place any trust in him what so ever any longer.  He failed miserably.  I asked Gaelic Girl out to lunch after church and she jumped on me for the rest of the day. Yeah, SRS had filled her in on our conversation, apparently even before the Saturday meal was over - because she initially attacked as soon as dinner was over and continued throughout Sunday.  He must be one fast texter!  So, things I can not tell her, because I do fear for my own safety, based upon her past performances - I apparently can get away with, as long as SRS is blabbing all to her!  Good to know. Strike two almost lifelong friends into the waste can of what I do not need in my life any longer.

And I was forced to bring up my own walls at one point, just to protect what little of me is left.  As I said, it was a hard weekend and the above betrayal and attacks were not even the half of what went on in my life!  But, that information I will skip, because God grants me grace and peace to handle the rest.  It is the attacks from those whom fall under the definition of old Kris whom I am having a problem maintaining any safety with or from.  And it is so odd to know that some friends, some children, are under my new nature, while all others from the past are not.  Some I can Love and see colors with, but the vast majority are still in black and white and even trust is questionable to extend to them.

And just as equally, I managed to piss off the only important person in my life.  Some days I swear: If Kris Open Mouth, Then Beat Him Senseless. And yet, even at that God keeps replenishing me so I have to keep coming back - it is like there is some kind of homing device in me that requires me to be there, to absorb all which has been dished out - if I could I would take all of their pain and sorrow, transferred physically on to me, if it could lead to their healing.  Yeah hard to explain, so must be filed under "God Thing".

And I realize that much of the problem is that I only have one mechanism for working with friends: love, honesty, transparency and truth.  Without those four criteria, there is no relationship in my book.  But even with my old friends I am suddenly finding that they are changing to the point where those attributes are no longer important to them inside of a relationhip.  Ego, vanity, greed, self interest has taken over all that is important to me, and replaced inside of them.

Apparently, Kris is just an antique, to be relegated to the dust bin of oddities in life.  Soon to appear in a Ripley's believe it or not museum - a display called "An Honest Man" ... the greatest oddity of 21st century in human culture.  And people will come and stare and wonder what on earth was wrong with him.  A relic from another age when honor and integrity were the very basis of a man ..

Jealousy

Sunday morning, it happened again, now twice in my life I was brought up during a communion message ...

An ex-old friend was giving the message and he selected an occurrence from over 30 years ago, from when he was building a house.

We were at the point where it was time to shingle the roof.  Unfortunately, the roof was very steep pitched and he was hot to get started.  When he called telling he was ready to start, I told him to wait until morning and I would be over with my mountain climbing gear to rig the roof.  But he is a little hard headed.

So, alone, he went up on the roof, no ropes, no knowledge and just as suddenly - he flew 27 feet straight down on to his concrete driveway below.  His wife told me she was sewing when she heard this squishy splat outside and she realized that her husband was not moving around the house!  She looked out one of the windows, saw him face down, grabbed her camera and ran outside.  Shooting several photos, she then checked for breathing and called me.

I drove over loaded him in my 1972 Pinto station-wagon and headed for the local ER.  Would you believe that with a fall of what was three times higher than what has killed many of my other friends, he only broke a half inch bone in his wrist!!!!!

So next morning, I have the roof rigged and his wife is madder than hades up there with me - because he cast arm will not allow him to do any roofing and it would be up to the two of us to do one HUGE roof!

So, I am looping the rope around her waist, reaching between her legs to bring the other strap through and he comes up the ladder with a load of shingles and completely loses it!  I looked at him and said, "Really?  You have really got a problem if you are jealous of me!"

Which then led to the subject of God being jealous of His Church for the communion meditation.

But, the church had a great laugh as they have gotten accustomed to my clueless antics pretty well across the past five years ...

After church all of these little old ladies lined up in front me all demanding their fair share of hugs!  In retrospect it was quite funny, but at the moment I was a little irritated because given the nature of gossip - i do not need more started about what I am not.
:)

Nervous

I have only once been a cast, it really did not go well.  It was for my right arm and 18 months later I was given my arm back so that I could then have elbow surgery, then go back into a cast for 6 more weeks and then they returned this grey alien arm to me!  Prior to that I have been a mountain climber, I climbed mountains or in caves almost every other weekend at the least!  And not with a grey skinny alien arm ...

Professionally that was what moved me from writing large computer operating systems to project management.  Yeah, take an introverted techie geek and give him 39 employees to manage.  Really?!?!?  I still owe a few of them some apologies.


Friday at 11:45 i will be fitted for the first of an expected 27 casts in a series to realign my ankle joint and merge the fragments of my right foot back together.  I am not looking forward to this.  The lady at church whom does this for a living told me to expect the most excruciating year of my life.  Really?  I really need this!

So, every two weeks a new cast to further compress the parts and realign slightly all of the pieces back together.  Of course, having a foot I can walk on again will be nice at the nearest future date PLEASE GOD!

Shattered

Well, the original post i wrote for today, on Sunday, is now history - all plans are changed for the next year.

So, Wednesday all of my tests came in and the prognosis is not good.  The four months of leg problems gave no clues to the doctors in the emergency room three times, my cardiologist figured out it was not drug related, my leg doctor - whom should known, was clueless and even my own doctor saw me three times before he asked if anyone had x-rayed the leg.  Well no one had it took only moments in x-ray for them to figure out that:

• the foot is fragmented
• the ankle is broken

I was going to post a picture of my foot but this one is an exact duplicate of it!

And for the worse, I have developed Charcot's joint to just add further insult to the leg and foot problems, it now affecting my knee.

So, it looks like a very long immobilization, up to a year, in a non weight bearing brace.  The theory is that the foot and ankle will heal enough in that time to be able to operate without requiring an operation.

Of course, I still expect to be on my own by the end of the year and somehow still need to sell off almost everything I own in order to delete all of my debt.  Sigh, well I will have lots of time for eBay and Craigslist I guess!

On the other hand, I do need to finish my book this year and do massive amounts of painting.  :)

Your prayers are gratefully accepted.

Trauma

Unexpectedly, I was called upon to be interviewed by Gaelic Girls therapist.
It has long been a concern of mine that GG and her therapist spend their time talking about me - and honestly I do not like this.  It is not like finding the key to Kris is going to do anything for GG.  But, I played along.

And she opened up with an episode in my life I had completely forgotten about ... and I had told GG?  As far as I knew, I had never said anything to anyone.

I was three years old and my parents decided to go for the evening out and hired a babysitter.  Said babysitter at some point took me out to the clothes line and tied me to the pole - by my neck.  I was stuck standing there for the next four to five hours.  When I told my parents, they called me a liar and beat the @#$@ out of me.

That as the point at which I knew these people could not be trusted.  I had told the truth and was beaten for it.  I never trusted my parents ever again.  It was the defining moment that ended our relationship for the rest of our lives.  And you have to remember that from 1973 to 2008, my adult years, there was no relationship between my parents and I.  It was only with their old age and health failures that I even make an attempt to be there for them.  Now it is just my mother - but it is still beyond my ability to ever trust her ever again.  (And yeah, she agrees that trust might just be too much to exist between us.)

It was an interesting romp through ancient history of my mind.  To see what made my world black and white, that caused me to so willingly execute people from my life whom assail my integrity.

Which then brought the topic to GG and her attacks in 2009 through 2013 on me.

No, no resolution, I just wanted to share a interesting conversation with a dichotomy built into it.  I will let you know if and when she gets back with me - or - GG does.

Unending

Unending:

• Days
• Time
• Boredom
• Drama
• Hatred
• Ignorance
• Pain

Day 12, my heart continues to grow weaker.  The pain at times more than I can bear, yet there is nothing to do.  I have the world's best insurance and can not afford the Obama dictated co-pay new to my plan.  To step into ER would run now at least $102,000 for what they would do to me, my share 10%.  My lungs are going and that only adds more stress to the heart.  Oh do not worry, God will either bring me through this or not at all.  I hope not at all, for all hope other than for peace in His eternity is lost to me.  but, I went, I underwent the tests and they found NOTHING!  A leg and foot the size of a Lebanese sausage and nothing ....  Gees!

Hope sustained even me, for whom hope really had no meaning.  Hope was the ground of truth I stood on, then hope came to actually mean hope (as you know it) and I found that ground to become a bit shaky.  No I did not loose my faith, it is just harder to "know" when you are constantly being assaulted on all sides by emotional feeds and life.  I can still see truth, I can still know to stand, but I realize that I am at best a cripple now - for what is hope to me today?

Once life had meaning, what was love was "friended" out of existence, what was friendship evaporated when self interest became greater, what was hope ... requires nurture, which disappeared long ago.  And I continue to hold on to my faith, my gifts and that which was impressed upon me.  All else I can no longer see nor even know. 

And there is nowhere to go, no one to turn to, and I have cried out to God so often across the past three months, I am tired of even hearing my voice! - the only answer?  Stand.  And in a vacuum at that!

In the meantime, I may yet learn to be apathetic ...

Sunday morning I was reminded of John 8 and I meditated on this for hours.  It is a smack down between the Pharisees and Jesus.  Of course, Jesus wins, but only through worldly eyes does man's logic seem to carry the day.

I thought on this and what Jesus said; I see more clearly his defining point between what is of Him and what is of Satan.  Even the do-gooders were lost due to their own disbelief, prejudice and social hatreds.
Even when faced with a miracle, the likes of which had never been performed before, the religious elite gave the credit to Satan because God does not work this way.  Surprise!

And I read back through what I wrote on Friday night in this post.  I could see the disconnect between the world and I, the church and I, and unfortunately, friends and family and I.
I have changed in an unpredictable direction and I know that friends and family need to adjust, but they are distancing themselves instead.  Obviously, I must be insane and therefore avoided at any cost.
And I am trapped in this failing body, unable to even walk a mile, or I am of a mind to just walk away in disgust.
But, it seems this body is what God is using to stop me.
So, something still lies ahead, some resolution, some answer, something which explains all of this and these wasted years.
... Sigh ...

Day 9, Sigh

Yeah, day 9 of continuous auto work!

So, I got the waterpump back in the car, everything hung, refilled the coolant and checked for leaks.  And was there ever leaks!  Only it was not coolant - it was power steering fluid.

Somehow I managed to snap the back fluid connector off of the power steering fluid pump!  OMG!  Really!?!?!?  And to add to the insult, the newly broken connector sliced my hands up nicely as I attempted to reattach the hose.  Sigh...

You know, power steering fluid, whatever it is - STINGS something AWFUL!  OMG!

So, have a new unit ordered.  It will be in Seattle sometime this morning.  It will take about 1 hours to do the tear down to the pump, maybe an hour to pull the pump and three to reassemble the mess again.  So, between babysitting my grandson, cursing at a Ford and actually doing repairs I may have a working car again by noon today.  Sigh ...

And as for my show this weekend, no way will I be ready for it now!  Gees, just my luck.

I hate American cars ...

Some Days Are Hard

I knew I had over done it on Sunday.  It was too harsh on my body to do all of the bending, lift, squatting, having to walk constantly because of my right leg's continual stiffening - pain, tremendous pain!

So, codeine Sunday night, codeine through Monday and still the pain was not bearable at times.  I almost called my foot and ankle surgeon!  Even cutting it off would be better in the long run!  But, wisdom held out in favor of just taking it easy as best I could.

And "best", was not all that good!  The silly car decided to start leaking water, so son and I had to change - the lower hose, of course!  Could not be the top one, oh no, way too easy to take advantage of Kris' weakened condition.  But, we got the hose changed - only 1.5 hours! And it still was leaking ... And I know we did it right and tripled checked everything. 

So, it has to be the pump or broken block but the waterpump is an easier starting point.  I knew as soon as I sunk some money into that car last month, it would start to nickel and dime me to death.  Who needs a boat when you are named Plattner and carry the family transportation curse.  Yeah, it is genetic - my sister and I curse the need for cars.

Even when my son was running me around for parts - one of his rear tires literally exploded.  He decided it was me, that I weigh too much!  He almost got a Dutch rub out of that one!  But, I will concede this has not been my year to lose weight it seems!  Leastwise, until the cardiologist finally settles on a pill mixture - I am shafted in the weight loss category.

I am just glad the car lasted through the weekend before dieing.  Of course we had a high of about 30 today, why couldn't it have waited until summer!  And now I have to pull the front end off of that Lincoln and the high tomorrow and for the next week - 29 degrees!  I am going to be out in the cold, no doubt about that one!  Think of me as you sit in your warm house or in tropical sunbeams, as I freeze!  Of course, one nice thing is that with the current pill set - Swiss Boy is back!  Yes, I love the cold again, just not quite this cold though!

And any prayers for healing would be greatly appreciated!  You might want to include a lady named Kathy in my church whom with similar problems is having surgery today on her leg.  So, I am curiously dreading the outcome of her surgery ...

Updates

It has been a rough week and a half physically since I dropped my body on my front porch.  The aches, the pains, all the swelling is steadily going down.  However, the broken jaw just drives me nuts!  I want something I can chew!  I dream of steaks and pork chops!  And the thought of a rack of ribs!  But, unless it is tiny bites and not chewed, nothing I can do about it.  Sigh.  And my weight continues on the same.  How is this even possible?

I have not said much of Gaelic Girl.  Her departure from my life was a bit traumatic and if I do see her, she is not likely to say much, if anything, to me.  In fact I would guess that she goes out of her way to avoid me and the kids.  But, yesterday she made a point to thank me for something I had done nice for her many months ago.  I have no doubt that her psychiatrist was behind the acknowledgement and she had caught flak yet again for how she has, and continues to, treat me.  Well better late than never - at least that was my grandmother's take on such things, though there is little satisfaction in being thanked half a year later (and probably under duress)!

My friend from Colorado continues his fight against cancer - lots of prayer needed there, if you are up for it.  I really wish the whole lot of them were out here so that I could be a little more involved in what is going on,  But, perhaps it is for the best, for now.

My niece continues to be a blessing and continues to do well with her new life.  Thank you for your many prayers on her behalf!  I wish I knew where she is headed or what she will be in God's economy, but somethings you just have to wait for.

No more prowlers in the neighborhood.  I guess half nude middle aged man is just too much for youth to gaze upon and realize this is them in thirty years!  ("Honestly, Jake, just shot me if I ever start to look like that!")  Swedish Rocket Scientist will be back next week from Italy and his car will be gone and with it any temptation to prowl my vehicles!

Today and through the weekend I am at an antique show helping my mother.  I thought about getting a spot for me again, as I had done last year at this show, but I decided that it was not worth the effort.  As I remember, I did not break even when gas was factored in across the four days of this show and the 50 miles it is from where I live.

So, I am bored, smiling, and wishing I was most anywhere else...

King of Klutz

Yes, my reign as the King of Klutz continues uncontested!  My latest triumph made Monday very memorable.

 Would you believe I was attempting to unlock my front door, when I abruptly found myself face down on my porch?  Yeah, I found it equally as surprising!

Two sprained ankles, damaged left calf muscle, two banged up knees, left hip, the entire spinal column, left shoulder, and unfortunately both sides of my jaw are now broken... And I am grand kid sitting this week! Which just does not seem to go well with muscle relaxants and pain killers! "sure kids, go play with the knives, oh by the way, that is a shotgun ..."

So, just trying to maintained until youngest daughter gets here about 4 and I can take real pain killers and she can watch the mice!

Come on 4!

Darn Body!

It seems my body is broken again!  Friday I went to the State Fair and enjoyed myself entirely!  Lots to look at and see, yummy things to try and people to just watch and observe.  I love watching people.

But, I did too much walking, Saturday and Sunday I was hobbling painfully, and then Monday afternoon, my right plantar muscle let go - AGAIN!  Gees, it took most of last year for it to heal from the tear in March and now it has let go again. 

Imagine your foot about the size of your thigh in thickness! And now add this over-riding pain 24 x 7, sigh.  Not what I need right now!

Of course it is entirely possible that this is God stopping me from what I had thought I would do later this month, a trip down to Vancouver to go on a deep woods hunt with my cousin.  Might have been fun.  But now I would have to content myself with dreaming about hiking.

Blogger is still down, I am now down, what could possibly next!!!!!?

TMJ

What would a vacation be, without some disaster looming itself upon my body?

A week ago, on Tuesday, my left jaw started making these popping sounds.  It was weird, everyone could hear it, but it was just inconvenient.

Then my jaw started locking on this Tuesday, with significant pain but if I pushed gently in, it seemed to go away and I made a note to email my dentist back in Seattle.

Then during lunch, it make a breaking glass sound, again heard by all and it made me yelp in pain!  My face swelled up, I could no longer chew on the left side, I no longer could eat anything that was not mighty soft.  But, no more popping, clicking, or locking.  Weird.

So, went to the dentist and apparently I shattered my left side disc that the jaw bone rides on.  Muscle relaxants for a month at night, hot pads, ice, and lots of soft foods.

Nope nothing normal about me....

Stupid Is ...

Friday was just a plain evil day.  I felt good and decided to take a walk around town.  Everything went well until the sun came out - and Kris fried!  I was exhausted from the fireworks of the 4th when ran until 3:30 on the  5th, it got hot, I got exhausted, I ended up having to take two nitro pills just to make it back home.  Not fun!

Then, I get a note from my niece tell me that her father had double dosed on his heart meds and get himself hospitalized.  I called him about half a dozen times but no one is picking up his phone nor returning the call!  gees!

Monday, I was in a hurry, too much to do and I completely failed to take my morning heart pills!  Like I  should have been extra cautious just based on Sunday's problems alone!  But, I did not even realize that I had a problem until dinner time when I realized that I had fallen asleep at 3, 4, and 5!  I even dozed off eating pasta salad.

And I thought, that is weird.  Then I realized what I had done.

Now, insert into here a requested appearance with GG's therapist and quite a grilling I was to recieve and it turns interesting.  This lady makes linkages which are illogical, or takes a phrase and then adds emphasis which is not there or the best one, she isolates a phrase, then repeats it out of context!  I have no idea if she ever did get whatever it was she was looking for.  I was just glad I had my nitro pills with me - just in case I was going to have another problem getting home!  I think this lady is about as certifiable as GG.

But, she did let loose of some interesting information, perhaps to get a reaction from me; like GG is thinking of her old boyfriend ( you might remember several years ago I mention he was arrested for child molestation and now sits in prison for many more years to come!)  So I had to raise an eyebrow at that one!  Really  She doesn't give me anything but grief for three years, silence for one year and then I am supposed to be her friend again - to "save" her from running off with a jailed pedophile .....?  I ignored the bait, I never was much of a trout anyways....

And I am back to thinking of that long walk to Argentina fondly.....

Hit and Miss

It has been hit or miss since last Thursday as to whether or not my laptop would start, if the router would work and/or the modem would stay up!  Just too plain hot!

This little computer I installed a fan in to help cool the circuits, then I have a 30" fan blowing on me and all of the workstation equipment and behind that a large air conditioner - and it has been a struggle keeping the temperature under 75!  So lots of line drops, lots of wireless and hardware failures and flat out will not restart on the laptop.

But, I have been busy and hope to post a picture tomorrow of what I have been up to in the sweltering heat!  Lots of hard work and with a back that has been out the entire time as well!  Oh well.  Work on the computer in the morning coolness, then do the physical stuff in the later heat - which backwards from what I needed.  But, you will like the results when I can get the picture resized in photoshop tomorrow.

I am getting stronger and regaining some of my hand muscle, as well as, brain function.

Two weeks ago it took me 6.5 hours to change a bicycle type and tire.  Sunday it was only 30 minutes!  How is that for improvement?!?!?!?  Still have some of the hand stiffness. Not sure as to why but bit by bit Kris is fighting back to humanity.  No, probably no awesome adventures left to await me (that I know of!), but I will be satisfied to see my life resolved as soon as possible.

Ran into KJ, one of "my boys" from years back.  Skinnier than a starving greyhound!  Guess he lost his job, has been on the street and not doing well.  He is talking about going back home to his mother (really bad idea!) so I have him set up for an interview Friday.  Not the best job in the world, but it pays enough to actually live on with paid benefits.  Never any coincidences in our lives as Christians.  Just as it was important for him to stumble across my path and get a free meal, it will probably be shown why it is important to me as well, later.

Also ran into James, I told you about him months ago.  He was taken down by some police, whom thought he looked suspicious and broke both of his wrists.  So, he was laid off as a bus driver because, hey he can't drive any longer.  Guess he is now involved in a multi-million dollar lawsuit against everyone but the tidy bowl man!  We had a long talk and yeah, he needs prayer for healing - physically, mentally, emotionally; but more importantly he needs discipleship.  That later point is a sore point for me because none of the churches in my town invest in this.  So what few Christians there are, are misled and/or babies in the faith - not that I am the rock of Gibraltar, but at least I did invest years into being discipled.

Well, need to get this posted.  It is grand-kid day and they will be awaking soon.

Shhhhhhh, be wery, wery quiet ..... I think I hear the wustle of a wabbit ..... heh, heh, heh, heh!

Weather

I wanted to post this earlier but the King of Klutz managed to trip over one of the grandchildren and threw his back out.  Sigh.....

So playing catch up here:

Last Tuesday we literally had a deluge here at the house.  Now during this rainstorm we had over 3" of rain come down in just 10 minutes!  Holy Cow!  I could not believe how much nor how fast it was falling!  The rain was literally bouncing 6" off of the pavement when it hit!  I have only seen something like that one in my life before!

And I thought to myself, well yeah, this is a lightening storm, but still that is a great deal of water for clouds to carry very far!  And I wondered what I did not know about weather systems.  It was freaky and amazing at the same time!

Now a friend of mine lives on the opposite side of the lake from me and was out walking their dog when the storm hit.  But, he was not drowned in the rainstorm, instead he saw something incredible and photographed this with his phone:

I live about 1/2 mile from Puget Sound, a large body of salt water.  Between me and Sound is a 600 foot cliff, a nice size fresh water lake teeming with trout, otters and a local variety of snapping turtle, and lots of trees and homesteads.

So this, literally a water vacuum, was sucking straight out of the Sound and dropping the water 2,000 feet away on my house!  Almost sounds like a tornado only there was no circular motion but sure was sucking the water let me tell  you!  I calculated just shy of 4,000 gallons of water were dumped on my property alone during those ten minutes!

Wow!

Hot Wings

Youngest Daughter just loves hot wings, aka buffalo wings in some parts of the country, and eats them often.  Usually it is frozen fare.  So, I thought last night I would make some homemade ones for her.  Such a mistake!

They came out perfect, she turned her fingers orange slurping them down!  I ate one and it was marvelous!

But, there is just one problem; I am allergic to chili's of any type or in any form.....

And as I have grown older, the allergy seems to be getting more and more violent!  Bleeeeech!  One stinking hot wing and I up all night sicker than a dog.

It is just not fair, not at all.  Something I love so much, should be so evil to my body.

Sigh.

To those of you whom can eat and not die, bon appetit! when it comes to chili's.  I guess I am just going to have to learn to be good....

Slow Times

My life seems to be remarkably slow this week, well what can you expect?  I got platinum in my heart these days!  So, sort of like a catalytic converter on American cars, only in cars it is known to start fires and corrupt fuel efficiency, whereas in me I get to just putter along.  I so want to run my metal detector over my chest and see what it reads!

My first post operative doctor's visit went well, he wants me back next week for another stress test.  Yeah, just show me an IV needle and that ought to just about do it!  Then he is chomping at the bit for getting me in to the Swedish hospital for the real work at restoring my heart.

I remember last thursday laying there in the operating room and thinking, "Yeah, this just had to happen - after I was made human ....  And, it may well be that I would not have survived without feelings.  Feelings bring hope.  There is not much hope when your arteries are clogging and you have virtually no cholesterol to speak of.  There is no real long term solution.

I have been up and walking quite a bit this week, trying to do two miles a day or so.  So far the only real stress was surprisingly getting my haircut of all things!  Yeah that one should have been stress neutral at the most!  And what should have been the most - set my heart at peace.  Go figure, this body and God's ways, I may never understand them.

As usual for this week, I can not sit for long without exhaustion, so if you are praying for my healing, please continue.  If you are praying for my destruction, well that would make you my daughter, whom ought to talk with me.  If you do not pray at all, you might want to consider this quaint practice - it does change things, often our own perspective.

ciao!

Life, Interupted

As if an unknown prophesy, Wednesday I had written Thursday's post.  I was happy, I was at peace, I was satisfied with life once again.  How many can say that?  Yet, I felt awful!

Thursday, I was up at 4:30 am to drive to my eldest daughter's to pick up the grand kids for the day.  We dropped eldest off at her job and I took the kids to IHOP for breakfast.  They were spinning little tops, which always makes me laugh!  We were no sooner in the door than a man rushed up to me and grabbed my hand and began pumping it.  I was drawing a blank until he spoke.

It was brother Timothy's step-father!  Now what are the odds of that one!  Seems he and one of his friends are in town for some sort of meeting.  And I was happy.  He is one of those men whom I may see only once a decade but when I do it is like we are long lost friends.  He also is only one of two men in my life whom always ask me how I am doing spiritually.  It always throws me for a loop because, well, no one in this culture actually cares about virtual strangers.  It was good to see him.

Then I had to go to physical therapy for my knee, but it whooped me!  I still was not feeling right and was unable to perform as well as I should have been able to.

I brought the kids back to my place, called youngest daughter to come and watch the kids while I went to see my cardiologist.  Yeah, I really was not feeling well at all!  I just wanted to ask him some questions, but before I could even say hi, he had me on an EKG machine and told me I looked like death warmed over.  Gotta love his attention to detail.

Within minutes I was rushed to the emergency room, where they were unable to stabilize my heart.  So I was sent to a special room where needles rule and I had an angiogram!

So, the short of it was three blocked arteries in my heart.  I opted for the stint insertion approach, versus his preference for splitting my rib cage.  Of course, if I am involved, then it must get hosed up.  What he thought would be under one hour to do the three repairs turned into a three an a half hour ordeal to just deal with the largest artery.  Guess, I have strangely curved arteries.

With only one done, he quit and decided that Swedish in Seattle would have to address the other two.

By Saturday night, Swedish had decided not to the stint route with the other two and wanted to wait and see how I do with just the largest of the arteries now open.  I am thinking that what is not being said is that I with get my ribs spread at sometime in the future.  sigh.

So, go to your cardiologist to ask a question and get strapped to a table for 60 hours!  gees!

But, it is good to be home now and I do feel a world better, albeit, exhausted and extremely sore!

And yes as I lay in the ICU I thought on Thursday's post and how true it really was /  is.  I am still completely at peace with God and within myself.  Not exactly sure what all is up with this but we will see....

Life

So things have gotten a little complicated for me since last Friday, seven minor heart attacks.  Sigh .....  Then add on all sorts of blood pressure problems and i am not a happy camper this week!

Monday I managed to do some bus travel and as I returned home, a typical Seattleite poser got on the bus.  Pick up a bicycling magazine, turn to the ads, find the weirdest, most expensive biking outfit in there - and this guy was wearing it.  I almost did burst out laughing.  Late twenty-something, probably close to $3,000 in his riding clothing alone and shoes.  He was an advertisement for gross consumption to behold.

Two stops later, an obviously mentally handicapped guy about my age gets on and sits opposite bike boy.  They stare at each other.  About 20 minutes later the one my age says, "My shoe came untied."  The voice of an eight year old.

Instantly, bike boy is at the guys feet, double knotting his shoes so they will not come undone!  And I thought to myself, "Wow!"  The typical poser around here would have been just as likely to untie his other one!

So a second week of incredible, very untypical, Seattle behavior, witnessed by me!  Yup, mankind, at least around here is starting to have a future, thanks to the twenty somethings!

On the Blog-landia side of things, so I managed to shake off the weird emails and the FaceBook stalker, only to then have this account locked in a hack attack on Monday.  Odd timing.  Odder still was that the person had a good grasp of my data so as to try passwords, only HINT: the one you were looking for was my grandmother's name, which actually no one outside of Switzerland knows.  So, whom ever you are (like I don't know, since only maybe three people knew that much about me and two of them I am sure were not behind this.....) I changed it again ... now all you have to guess is a Spanish variant word, spelled phonetically in Swiss.  Good luck, madam hacker.

I had a good talk with my friend today.  Concerns about my heart, etc.  It is so nice to have someone whom actually cares, with no expectation that there is anything I can return - because there isn't.  And I talked of death, at how I was ready to die July 12, 2012 because I had somehow failed my daughter and Gaelic Girl, but had no clue what it was I could have done!  And each of those heart attacks after that one, "Okay, God, I get the message!  I am ready for punishment but at least tell me my crime!"  Only, He demonstrated that I had done good, I had done exactly as needed and was rewarded - the creation of this new Kris, I am not exactly completely comfortable with as yet.

And now with the return of these attacks, I am at complete peace; I have now seen the completion of being human and should I die, cool, I am completely at peace in a good way.  Yeah, this sounds odd I know, but I expected many more years but this pain burning deep within, sort of dampens that expectation.

My friend wants me to go back in for the last test I refused last fall.  I am not comfortable with it, but then again with whatever is going to happen to healthcare next year, perhaps this year is the better time to get it done in.  sigh.  I really hate needles!

I was on grand kid patrol for the whole of Wednesday and Thursday, yesterday was picnics, duck feeding and running in the park.  Today? perhaps some time by the salt water and looking for shells.  Back home I plan on doing a small garden the kids can help me with.  Much calmer for them than yesterday and hopefully fewer "incidents".

It has been a very good week.  Not to often a peaceful and content Kris is encountered.....