Running on Empty

Completely and thoroughly exhausted by everyone's demands on me.  Outside of being in bed yesterday, I managed 30 whole minutes at home!  All I want to do is go on a vacation, somewhere warm and far from my demanding family.  But, then again, there is no one else to get the kids to work or school, no one else whom would care for mother.

The obvious answer is to stay at mothers but my asthma just can not  take it.  So left having to drive hundreds of miles a day.

Oh well, it is apparently my place in life at this time.  I might have to get a job just so I can get some rest!!!!

And it is now time to hit the road again.....

Interesting Timing

Timing is everything they say and yesterday's sermon could not have been more on the money.  As I wrote yesterday of the very awkward day one of the young women was to suffer through, it only got more interesting during the sermon.

The sermon was on John chapter 4 and the woman at the well.  Lots of good topics to revolve around there: adultery, divorce, Jesus revealing whom He is to a woman - much less a Samaritan, etc.

But, either by "coincidence" (which I do not believe in) or by divine timing the pastor reached the topics surrounding the woman at the well and went into quite an in-depth discussion concerning marriage, divorce and adultery.  It was quite good.

I noticed from across the sanctuary that the young woman's back was sliding down the pew.....  But, she is not what this post is about, instead it is about a high school girl I met last year.

Her family broke up about six years ago, drugs and violence being at the root of the problem.  So, I have been most concerned for her, since young girls tend to seek male affirmation during their teen age year, in all of the wrong places and ways.  I tried to get her to join our class during the last school year but she had no real interest and her mother had lost any control over her.  Lots of prayer.....

I learned at the beginning of the service she is now pregnant, which really breaks my heart.  I have two daughters whom made the same poor choices as well.  Not a good way to be ending high school - as a mother.....

The young girl sat in front of me.  She had brought boyfriend with her - both looked very uncomfortable and shell shocked.  Her mother showed up and sat by them; no amount of makeup was going to hide the complete loss of color in her face.  Yeah, stress city plus!

Then the pastor hit his area of concern, I already mentioned the young woman sliding down the pew, then I noticed that the mother in front of me was starting to vibrate.  She was swinging her foot nervously making her body hop up and down.  I looked over at the daughter whom was doing the same.  Yup, pastor was really hitting some marks this morning.....

After the sermon, young girl was in the toilet throwing up, her mother is off with friends sobbing and boyfriend is very uncomfortably standing by a wall probably wishing he was in a car accident anywhere else.  And God's Spirit moved in me and I did something completely out of character - I went up to him and talked with him for a while.  I ended, with offering to get together and talk about his situation sometime.  After all, I have been there twice with my daughter's boyfriends, so hopefully I could bring some experience to his situation.  I thought the guy was going to cry.  I don't think too many have shown concern for him this past week.

Please pray for Jorge, I know virtually nothing about him yet, but my guess is he needs to see God in his life.....

Thanks.

Awkward

So, I am walking from one building to the other at my church when I encounter one of the young women I have gotten to know, due to her situation - a matter of great prayer I have not shared with you due to the gossip potential.

"Hey!  So how are you doing?"

She gives me a big hug, stiffens then exclaims, "Oh my God!  Uhm, suddenly everything is very complicated!"  And runs for the women's toilet.

Huh!  So, I wander in and find a seat, wondering if maybe she got herself a case of el tourista somewhere.  And then I see what she must have seen - her ex-husband and her father walking into the sanctuary.....  Yup, this is going to be one awkward day for that young lady.

A few minutes later, the mother unit comes storming into the sanctuary with a firm grip on her daughter's arm and slams said daughter in the pew next to her ex.  Yeah, I do not think the parents quite agree with the daughter on the subject of her divorce.

Soon, I see her little sister join them, placing herself delicately between older sister and the ex.  This is in turn copied by her little brother.  Ahhhhh, such nice siblings!

Yup, I will bet lunch was a killer this afternoon.....

Honor Thy .....

Sunday was interesting in so far as the sermon went, the pastor spoke on mothers and honoring them.  It was sort of interesting from the standpoint of my mother was in need of help and I was doing what I could.

Given that this woman has been mentally ill for most of her life and refusing to even talk to me for about half of that life, yeah, it is mighty hard to honor her as my parent.  In fact, the pastor of my last church met her in 1998 and he commented that the only real way to honor her memory was to never tell anyone I had a mother.  Yeah, she sure impressed him.

So, it has been with great hesitancy that I have stepped forward to care for mother as she recovers from her triple bypass.  But, she has been pleasant, so it has not been too hard.

Of course, this morning she was something less than sweet and cussed me out for 10 minutes because I did not have keys to her gate.  Did not matter she had them in her purse, but I was supposed to have them ready.  Sigh.

Given her nomadic lifestyle and hermit like tendencies, I have decided to try and socalize her - no she already is a communist (LOL!), but to get her involved in people.  I had taken her to my middle daughter's birthday and she did good.  So, tomorrow we are headed for Priest Lake and Dutchman's oldest son's wedding reception.

Ought to be interesting, several hours in a car with my mother screaming about being on the highway.  Yeah, she finds backroads challenging enough.....

God's Humor

God really has a perverse sense of humor and I seemingly am the butt of it more than I like.  Take last Sunday for instance......

I am back to teaching high school Sunday School and had been trying to think of a how to do a series on comparative religion.  You know, a solid definition of Christianity which is unbiased by culture or denominational beliefs, then a look at several of the world's major religions.  But an intro, how to do a fun intro to capture their attention?  Now there is a guy whom did a Christian trash piece on the internet many years ago, so I used his idea and some of his graphics to do a look at religion from an atheist's viewpoint - but without trashing Christianity in the process.  The result I thought was quite humorous and yet still very defendable as far as truth was concerned.

But, there is a basic assumption in the piece, that no one will be offended if Roman Catholics and aboriginal indians are the straight men in the presentation.  Pretty safe assumption, or so I thought.

Class is just about to get started when in walks two girls I have never seen before; one I am to learn is an ex-Catholic from Baja, Mexico, the other is from the upper reaches of the Amazon River in Ecuador.  I am now so hosed.....

So, I had to do an awful lot of explaining to be sure I did not offend them or their families when they were to hear about the lesson!  But, we made it through it and I think they thought it a rather novel way of explaining religion.

Whew!

And, I heard the quiet chuckle in my spirit as God watched this personal disaster unfold.....

A New Creation?

So I sit here eating popcorn during my first free moment since mother's heart gave up two weeks ago.  And wishing to not hold you in suspense as to what happened following mother's bypass operation.......  Well, assuming I even have a reader left these days.

Mother's release from the hospital was complicated by attempts at balancing her sugar levels.  The meds being given where playing havoc with them.  Eventually, they were able to release her and I picked her up.

Now, in the hospital, she was walking around at day three after the operation, something they had never had happen before.  She was visiting the nurses, other recoveries, scaring small children in the incredible scar down her chest, etc.  So healthwise I was cautiously optimistic.

Second day out of the hospital, she wanted to go junking, so I took her first to one shop, then another and another, until we had five done!  So physically, although weak and having to protect her rib cage, she is doing great!

But mentally is where the most noticeably obvious change has occurred.  She has gone from an extremely horrible person to be around to someone you probably would like to be around!  I have not seen her like this since I was nine!!!!!!!!

So, I am approaching this cautiously with regards to the kids and my granbdkids.  We did a birthday party at the Old Spaghetti Factory and mom did fine, as did all of the kids.  This was the first the first time since 1998 the whole family was together ..... and I was happy about this.

I hope this trend will continue and she will continue to be a part of this family.....

Such A Week!

Last week really was one for the books.  In fact it was so bizarre that I am not even sure where to begin in telling you about it!!

First up, one of my cousins decided that she wants to be an actress and sent me photos of some of the rehearsal scenes - in the buff!  Yeah, nude show and middle aged women should not be shipping photos of themselves around!

Of course, I have rather strong feelings on this type of activity, especially from someone whom has professed to be a Christian since her high school days.  I guess that her Christianity does not include phrases such as "modesty", "clothe yourself", "flee from sin", etc.  You get the point.

So, what did I do?  I pointed out this hypocrisy!

Then one of her friends decided to take me on for being a one of those hypocritical conservatives that have ruined this country (those that know me do believe that I am a liberal!).  She also tossed in homophobe and a few other choice words.

So, I wrote back to this total stranger that I am far from anti-gay, in fact through the years I have had dozens of "gay" friends, both male and female.  Unfortunately, 34 of them have died from aids through those same years.  So I asked how many gay friends she has had, how many have died due to this, how many has she sat with as they died, how many has she witnessed to and comforted in those moments? 

Of course, the answer will be zero, because those whom have, do not condemn others - they accept that others still have to learn that Christ died for all - no matter what their personal feelings are towards anyone or their sin!

It is called living your faith and apparently this is not a lesson either of them have lived yet.....

How To Be A Sexist - 1970's Style

Some Years

You know some years it just is not worth getting out of bed.  You can almost set a clock to this years ability to blind side me, every 21 days.  Yeah, like clockwork, every 21 days something horrible has been happening.

Latest up, my son exploding.  Yet again.

Seems it was just last November I had written about his last explosion over how horrible a father I am.  Once again reciting off a huge sin list, the majority of which never occurred or was committed by his late father.  But, be that as it may, it always breaks my heart to hear him rail against me.  Maybe I really should have taken him across the border into Germany for that sound beating, which is completely legal there!  But, I did not have the heart of my father within me.....  But, he would at least have respect for me, if I had....

This time I decided to use some ideas I from the Borders series of books and when he roared about how much he hates me, I simply replied "I don't care whether you hate me or not, my job is to deliver an adult man into life..."

Of course talk about throwing gasoline on a fire!  The only thing which saved me was I had placed a large chair between us, so the lion was caged.

I have often thought on whether I could control my response if he physically attacked me.  I am not real concern over his injuring me - he certainly could.  I mostly worry about any self-defensive action on my part that I would be unable to stop before he was flying through the air.  At twice his weight and almost a foot taller, yeah, he loses.  And yes I am very concerned over this so now trying to avoid him altogether as much as possible.

So your prayers are genuinely sought for his growing up in mind and in spirit.

Yeah, some years.....

In Memorial

Friday night, I pulled the mail out of the mail box and observed a large envelope.  Probably another advertisement I figured, I get dozens of them a day.

Sorting the mail, that envelope's turn came and I now observed that it came from the office of the President of the United States!  Oh My God!

The last time I received such an envelope it carried greetings from President Nixon and his desired to send me to an as yet undisclosed destination.  What on earth could President Obama want with me?!?!?!?

Inside was a letter in memory of father and his contribution to the Cold War Era.  I would rather he sent me the documentation as to why father had been awarded three Bronze Stars!  But, who knows, maybe that signature will be worth something someday.....

For new readers this is my memorial to father:
http://kjp-little-apple.blogspot.com/2010/04/in-memory.html