A Heck of a Year

Yeah, 2013 was a heck of a year.

It opened up with another attack from virtual forth daughter, again directed through the church.  It was the attack which was to show that Dutchman had been right along, her mother had poisoned her mind (if you think not dear, you really ought to talk with me one of these days so you can find out just how well we both were played!).  Surprising to me was that the Elders sided with her story rather than have her on the line and get the full story from the both of us as way of a discussion.  They would have learned I had been right in the 2012 that this was not her or her words, they were her mothers.  In the long run it does not matter much because I can face God cleanly, at least as far as she is concerned.

I was forced out of my new college pursuits since a lady did a U turn in front of me and forced me into a telephone pole, busting up my right knee.  It was good.  I had learned only weeks earlier that most of the work done in my new pursuit of life was in the realm of child pornography - and honestly I have no sympathy upon those whose lifestyle is based on this.  Yeah, I would love to see them brought to justice, or dead, but I do not need to be an expert witness having to track their imagines through the internet!  I wanted to do banking fraud or international wire transfer investigations - not deal in the lowest of sin (in my mind!)...

Life was just as hard as 2012 had been.  Gaelic Girl continued her attacks eventually contributing to another big heart attack.  Two stents in one artery, two arteries still blocked and no way to stent them due to the curvature of the vessels.  Sigh, which has now led to an additional 183 attacks!  Yeah, almost daily and I have given up even going into the hospital for them anylonger.  My heart is failing, I know it, the doctors know it and there is nothing which can be done until I recover from April.  If God wants to call me home, get it over and do it God!

Yet as I lay in CCU at the hospital, in my mind I formulated Kris' goodbye.  I would travel to Denver to see my friend from high school (and share with him about the new me), then my one ex-step-mother I kept through all these years - last good byes, then on to Arizona to see my old mining partner and the same there.  Then Kris would just quietly disappear.  Nothing left for me anywhere, nothing left in Switzerland save one aunt, so I planned on walking south - until I found where I needed to be or died beside the road somewhere.  Neither really mattered, it was all over for me.

Only three things interrupted my perfect plan - I was not going to recover from that heart attack and surgery, my friend came down with cancer and I never could talk with him and then ...

I was to discover a real new friend, never expected.  There is such a thing as a kindred spirit or a soul mate, something I always scoffed at in years gone by.  Whom could have thought?  And if any desire exists within me for life, it is because God has me intrigued with my new friend.  Why bring an "equal" into my life?  So late in life?  And since all things are not equal, what is He up to?  It intrigues me no end and makes me wonder.  Obviously He knows the future, He knows our needs, He is up to something and seems not willing to let me in on the secret!  And if Kris is to figure this out, then Kris must cool his jets, coast and see what is what ...  Conversely, it might not be about or for me at all, it could all be about them and their needs.  So, I try to tread water and observe ...

But, the biggest was that God was to change - at first slowly - my nature.  Emotion was to become real.  Not like a ton of bricks as I had been hit with in May 2012, for three weeks, but as a mellow and aged thing.  Sure I am still like an early teen emotionally (in an old man's body!) but it has been one of the most incredible things I have ever encountered.  Yeah, meaningless to you because you are normal - I never was...

I started writing a book, five times now!  But, it is getting better with each rewrite.  And each time I bog down on the chapter of the violence which is central to the book - it appalls me.  Yeah, darn new nature!  I have to get back to that and push through it though!  Sigh ...

I painted my first piece in three years, a picture of a little church for my Christmas cards this year.  Also first Christmas cards in three years!  LOL.  But, unlike early painting attempts - this was done in one take - no anxiety or anger.  It flowed and I sort of liked the results, well, they have grown on me.  So I expect to do much more painting in 2014, hopefully at least one a week, or 52 for the year!  That is the goal.

And believe it or not, that is all there is to my year.  Most of it spent in heart recovery unable to do much at all except prayer for those on my heart and wonder .....

Some Prayer Items

As we approach the end of the year, these are some things you can be praying for in my life, if you choose to:

My best friend from high school seems to be recovering nicely, however, prayer is still needed.  Cancer still exists in his body and does need to be destroyed.  And, something spiritual needs correction and it takes God's intervention to accomplish that, always.  So, much prayer there for him to become aware of whatever the issue, the resolution to address it, the support of his family as he does.  Well, and thinking of support, he has to do something to address the loss of his income because of this cancer!

My new friend to see and know what God's will is - there is a path for her, it just needs to be found.  Life is at a point where change becomes easy, if He will point the way.

Our government, society and culture has never been more God-less!  All three are in need of prayer.  All three need to be re-won back from the depth of sin they have fallen to.  All three are completely redeemable both locally and nationally!  But, workers are needed to quietly work to turn minds and hearts back to God.

For me, just to know what it is I am supposed to be doing and then help to do it.  Everytime I resolve to return to work, I am sounded defeated by my body.  For now I am working on relearning my art, at least it is hard to be continually injured doing that!  But, I need to get some income this year as I have now exhausted all but my patent royalties, which will keep beans on the table but not repair the car or the dishwasher or the stove or the toilet or ... !  Sigh, life!

Musical Saturday Morning

Something is different
For all continues to grow
And change
Hence, all becomes
Oh so very different ...



Ah, so you think you understand
And yet you have no clue
You still have to see
What lies in front 
And beyond you...

A Question on Natures

I really need to talk with my friend.  I have called and called but just can not get a reply, which is a pity because with my mind, I am not likely to remember much longer what it is I need to ask.

So, I will lay it out here, perhaps one of you will answer ...

Now I have spent months roaming through my video library, culling out movies I really am not interested in any lionger: too boring, inappropriate nudity, or something is just plain "wrong" and I can not exactly define it.

So, remembering that I a newby here with an emotional nature now:

It is that third category which I have grown uneasy with: some of the TV I see my adult children watching, some of the TV grandkids are allowed to watch by their parents,some of my movies now...  There is a reoccurring theme I am finding across TV and some of my movies of an undercurrent of ... not sure how to word this ... objectivism of either sensuality or sexual natures.  Nothing blatant, something more subtle.

It could be because my nature is so new that I am overly sensitive, it could be my thought is correct.

Is there no standard of innocence or purity any longer?  Has our culture so eroded that everything is translated through filters of sexual content or salaciousness?

And the answer to that question really is bothering me.  Under my old nature I was beyond blind to even the existence of such.  I knew through my friend Chrissy that such a thing could exist - within the realm of abnormal psychology - she was a self admitted sex addict, had been the majority of her life.  Her friendship with me made her wake up and realize that she really needed professional help.  Unfortunately, she had already contracted HPV, becoming one of the first to die of this in the early 1980's.  We were stunned, we loved her for the sister she was.  And even her sisters were speechless.  A disease no one had ever heard of, killed Chrissy, while she was in therapy for her addiction, thankfully after she had accepted Salvation for real.  But, Chrissy's problem lay within the realm of abnormal psychology ... right?

Now with this new nature, I am revisiting that thought.  Was Chrissy more normal than abnormal?  Or has culture and society move so far towards the side of sin that there is no concept of actual purity or innocence any longer?  Are we nothing but meat to be hunted down by those whose conscious are scarred?

And if the latter is true, then how is Kris to be viewed by those closest to him?

In my previously, completely blind nature ... was I ever actually understood or just considered either the densest male whomever existed or the most libertine of any male whomever existed?  Neither would be true since I never had the basis from which I could have believed anything other than what Chrissy went through was anything other than abnormal.  Mind you any attempt to place Kris as guilty of such sin would be majorly in error, Kris' problems lay elsewhere.

Yet, movies and TV seem to have an undercurrent of expecting something like Chrissy to be normal ...

So, the question:

If purity and innocence can still exist, does the existence of the sexual nature then destroy the innocence which did exist?  Is one at the cost of the other?

And if the answer is a flat yes, I believe Kris is going to give up on humanity ...

Health and Recovery Day

So this is day two of being offline.

So much to do!

The 24th was the family dinner.  Very stressful.
The 25th was having mother and middle daughter over.  Extreme stress!
And today, I play!

Going to do a museum, a play and a fancy dinner.  With any luck I will run into no one I know, I will be left alone to just recover.  We will see.

This is Kris in recovery mode.  Usually, I fly to Colorado and stay in Golden at a little hide-away hotel which is quaint.  No one bothers you, and you can just do what ever ... In Colorado, you can do that.  Everywhere else I have ever been, people are always prying, always questioning, always thinking they need to have an input.  A single guy, alone?  Now that is interesting!  (Yawn!)  And when I am psychotic from my allergy to cortisone, that is really a bad thing to have people be around you!  LOL!  So, Colorado remains my one hide-away.

See you on Friday!

Merry Christmas

A message I never understood until this month.
Yet a message as valid today as it was thirty years ago.
Though these people lack the understanding of what they are really saying:



It is a message we all should consider going into 2014.....

Born To Die

Outside of Enoch and Elijah, no one I know of has left this physical exisitence here on Earth and not had to transition through death of the physical body first.  That means that all of us were born to die.

Death is a physical reality to each and everyone of us and of course in all of our schooling we never get the real class we could use like: getting through a parents' death, what are you supposed to do, how are we to face our own death?

Of course, none of us were born to die by design, no we get to thank either Adam or Eve, your choice depending on your Theology, for whom to blame.  So what is the point here?  I have stated a paradox.

The only human being actually born into death, was Jesus.  He came because He knew He had to die.  He came because without His death, all other humans would be lost in their sin.  He came expressly knowing He would die.

One of my better lessons was one which I gave on a Christmas Eve, laying out Jesus' birth, everyone agreed.  I layed out His reason for coming, everyone agreed.  I laid out that His death was foreordained, God knew, He knew, He was going to be sacrificed - His entire reason for being born in the first place - and you would have thought me a heretic for the reception that idea drew.

Really?
The Romans really had a choice not to kill Jesus?
The Jews would really welcome Jesus as their Messiah?
Somehow mankind could choose wisely, choosing Jesus over the lure of sin?
Really?

Dutchman and I sat and talked through yesterday afternoon.  His father-in-law is dying in Holland, multiple cancers, the end was written a year ago, we never thought it would take this long.  Today his sister-in-law is being married by her father, perhaps his last ritual to perform.

I thought quietly back to the day Dutchman got married.  Such a disaster of a day.  Such a blessed day as well.  Dutchman's flaming natural red afro towering over this bride and everyone else other than me (I was still 4" taller at the time!).  It was hot, his youngest brother passed out.

And this giant in the Reformed Church stood there and calmly led a ceremony which basically laid out that if you toss my daughter you are going to die and I am going to ask the best man to do it!  We all three laughed as the blue hairs gasped in the background.

Now he is just a part of history- but more on that when he does pass on.

I thought of my body and its not so slow failing.  Yeah, like almost all other humans I have expected to die.  YOLO was my motto long before those whom use this as a battle cry in this generation were ever born.  Because of the past year now I can understand how true YOLO really is.  Not because I have to pump up the volume of my life, but because each moment is precious - to be shared - to be lived - with the understanding that we here not for ourselves but for others and to represent Him.

This holiday, think on the shortness of this life and how fragile it really is.  Perhaps you might draw the courage to witness just one more time to that aging relative, to comfort those in pain or ill health, to laugh with those in joy.

To my friend, thank you, you have brought me a joy no one would ever understand.
To my daughter, because of you God rewarded me as He probably never has done before.
To my long term friends, you are family, you are now actually loved.
To my family here and in Switzerland, my prayers and best wishes are all yours.
To my God, you sure knocked my socks off this year!
Thank you.

Merry Christmas dear reader.

God's Gift To You

What Is It?

Luke 1:14
Luke 2:10
Luke 10:7
John 15:11
Romans 15:13
2 Corinthians 7:4
Galatians 5:22

Did you figure it out?
Joy, for now, for real, a part of your life!
Joy, apart from circumstances.
It makes no sense - without God in your life.

Get It!

Who can get it?  Well, there was this night outside of Bethlehem and suddenly Angels filled the skies.  And, whom was there to see this manifestation?  The lowliest of the low - shepherds.

Yeah, they were not well thought of by society, after all, they lived "out there".  But, there were notable shepherds: Able, Abraham and all of his sons, and a young man named David.

Share It!

Joy is a choice you have.  It is given to you but you must choose to receive it.  Only then will you be able to share it with those around you.


I am sure when when you first saw my first question, your immediate answer was:  "Why Salvation of Course!".
And Salvation is also a gift, offered to all of mankind.
But Joy is a gift given to all of those whom are called by His name, yeah Christians, the real ones.
With Salvation, God gives you His Presence.
With Joy, God gives you life - no matter the obstacles you face.

And my mind wonders back to 1973 and the look of joy my friend had as he told me of his planned mission trip to Uganda.  Then, the smuggled 8mm film shot secretly by one of Idi Amin's staff, the execution of my friend.  Mind you, the horror of which made a marked impact upon this young Christian.  Similarly, as did the joy my friend displayed knowing that within a heart beat, he was going to be martyred for Jesus.

Joy ..... not explainable, not understandable to the worldly mind, yet what each of us needs to possess.

Musical Saturday Morning

When I came to America, I discovered this entire world of rock none of us had ever heard in Europe.  Even though we had occasional oddity crop up on the K-Town radio station or at the roller rink, there was much I had not heard before.

Once in Denver, I was intrigued by the Grassroots.  They were a local band in the area, as were Sugarloaf, Santana, T-Rex and many, many others!  I knew some of them, others only through their concerts (anyone out there remember the 1970 gassing of the crowd at the Park(way/hurst/side) High School concert?  Yeah made that concert a tear jerker!  Gees!  Now I have to go see if that is on the internet somewhere!

So, one of their intriguing songs:



Of course, by 1970 their hair had grown a bit - uhm - fuller...

Public Pressure

Pick an animal I do not like to eat.
Pick something I would not hunt.
Pick a TV "star" I have never heard of.
Pick a TV show I have never heard of.
Pick an author I have never heard of.
Pick a Christian being slapped around and now I have heard of him!

Yeah, Phil Robertson, of apparently Duck Commander fame has suddenly made the news!

Apparently Phil never heard of Jimmy Carter and his destruction at the hands of Playboy Magazine.  Sure you can be a Christian but when you expect fair treatment at the hands of the world - you are dreaming.

So, Phil commented that with LGBT agenda we are discussing sexual sin - surprise! the Bible says the same thing!  Sexual sin is sin, sin is judged by God, suprise! the world does not believe they deserve judged.  So, A&E called him on this and now he is without a show as A&E's horror at offending between 2 and 6% of the population is greater than offending the Christian majority in this nation.

Oh wait, I forgot, it is okay to trashed Christians because they are powerless.

Well, I do not have cable, so I do not have A&E even as an option.  But, just to pass on a point - I have boycotted Disney since they opened their arms to the gay community and locked out Christians once a year.  They are not willing to have a Christian day ...  So, discriminate against me - why should I use your products?  But, the weakness of the Christians in this country do not allow them to boycott what their children demand.  And consider China whom enslaves Christians to work in factories making junk to ship to America!  I refuse to buy China anything, even if it is the only item available - I will then revert to buying used rather than new, if it means starving China of my dollars!

Should American Christians ever wake up to discover their spine and the power of public opinion/pressure - entities such as Disney would rapidly be starved, as would Sony and Tri-Star all of whom have made anti-Christian statements.  Kiss off most of the TV - imagine Nelson rates now in the 2-3% as a high because Christians are willing to no long put up with their messages.  Conversely, supporting companies which support Christian causes, even if only by not banning Salvation Army bell ringers, would put Kroeger in the lead over their rather God-less competition (Target, K-Mart, Wal-Mart).  Imagine such a new world.  Sure haters would go out of their minds but then again, they can go to France and enjoy all they seek to make America into.

As just a well documented example of what a boycott can due:
I was in Hawaii one time and the police came up with the bright idea of issuing parking tickets to all rentals cars, even if they were parked correctly.  The $25 ticket was nothing compared to the $600 just to return to Hawaii to appear in court to fight the ticket!  So, I told them the situation, provide photographs of my correctly parked car, ticket displayed on the windshield and they told me to pay up or have a bench warrant issued.  Okay, so I told all of my friends, all of my friends friends, co-workers, anyone I heard mention going to Hawaii and at the end of one year I had amassed $1.3m in losses to Hawaiian tourist industry and airlines.  And I wrote and told them so.  Second year was better $2.3m in moneys which did not reach their shores and I told them again.  This continued for 5 years.  I how had amassed over $50m in funds which were redirected to other tourist destinations.  I got a letter of apology from the state's Lt. Governor.  Never got my $25 back but they were able to observe these bright ideas can hurt them - if someone is willing to make their behavior public and hold them accountable.

You have power as a Christian.  Don't be stupid - use it wisely and effectively.  You too can have the ability to starve public corporations and movements into submission just by refusing to use them or to fight them publicly.  Remember evil hates the light of truth and will flee from it, but you have to have the determination to take a stand.

For me, I am not an A&E customer so little I can do there.  But, I can go out and buy one of Robertson's books at Costco this weekend - maybe a present for Dutchman or Swede for next week?  You can also fight by supporting the person being attacked too!

In Passing

Noted in passing on Wednesday is the passing of Ken Hutcherson.  He was a football player, a pastor and a royal pain in the *tush* to the politicians of Washington state.

In Kris' book you think you are something because you are a sports star, I pity you.
In Kris' book you are an ex-sports celebrity, I pity you.
In Kris' book you are a Chrisitian getting wound up in social issues, I pity you.

So you can see I had a few bones of contention with Ken ...  However, I knew Ken and respected him immensely.

Mind you, I had no idea whom he was at first but we both were working on the same issue - Washington State's draconian adoption laws.  This is where I planned on retiring, this is where I knew I would have a family one day, this was where I knew I would have problems because I knew I would eventually adopt internationally!

Ken was far more articulate than I and with his celebrity could gain access to those whom would shun a no one like me.  So, we could talk on the issue at hand and he presented ideas and arguments to encourage the adoption environment in this State.  To a point there was success and we were in agreement. 

Just a chance encounter, two people with nothing in common except the same Lord.

Ken went on to battle the gay and lesbian agenda, which step by step has conquered this state, the definition of marriage, and many other social agenda items around here.

I guess I view the question of marriage as being between a man, a woman and God - just because the government demands the right of taxation and offers you incentives to register with them, does not change whom marriage is before.  But, Ken fought with the government their right to define or redefine the definition of marriage.  All Christians have lost in this state legally but it changes nothing before God.

We are lessened with the loss of Ken and his willingness to remind politicians they stand before a judging God, whether they like it or not.  Outspoken sometimes, even a little rough but a genuine concern for where our culture is going.  And whether you were powerful or poor, even a no one, he had time to talk with you and even work with you ...

The End is Near!

I have always loved End of the Earth predictions.  I was in high school when Hal Lindsey came out with his "Late Great Planet Earth".  I expected something on the wastage of earth resources and how to respect the planet and what it has remaining.  You have to remember I was raised in Germany and one of our lessons was the consumption of earth resources - as in, World War II consumed roughly 20% of the worlds known resources at that point.

So, I was interested, I wanted to be a responsible citizen of the earth.  I was stunned by what I read in those pages.  Really, if you do not own a First Edition - find it, buy it, read it, it was heavily rewritten for the second edition.  Why?  Well, the First Edition was pretty much gloom and doom - lots of dates of wars and battles and players all leading up to the return of Jesus - as prophesied in the Bible.

Apparently, Hal was wrong or the Bible was, so his book was rewritten allowing for less Hal and more Bible - all of those dates were removed.

But, we have always had this gloom and doom approach during my adult lifetime.  Why?  Well it all goes back to a heretic name Dwight Pentecost, whom mentored Hal Lindsey, C.C. Carson and a host of other heretics to come out of the Dallas school of heresy.  Am I being too strong here?  No, the Bible calls this group: heretics, vipers, wolves, etc - we are not to have fellowship with them for they are apostate.  In the pre-Christian days we were told to stone them!  Yet, the Western Theology instead embraces them and welcomes them into their churches to teach and corrupt the next generation. Just in case you wonder if your bookstore, your Church, your Denomination, your Synod is Christian - easy litmus test.

So, it has been with amusement I have followed the host of predictors, each trying to out do the others and even themselves to warn, to prepare, for the end of the age.  Hint: we are told we will not know when it is or when it has even started.  If you disagree then you stand in contrast to the Bible - welcome to heresy...

Why bring this up today?  Mostly because of the passing of Harold Camping, whom was quite active in the field of giving doom and gloom pronouncements to gullible Americans.  He was rich, he had his own TV and radio networks, published magazines, spent a fortune telling everyone about one date, after another, after another ....  until he figured it out.  His fate of someone of any veracity was spelled out in 2011 by the world's press whom loves to pass out black eyes to other Christians, just because they are called by the same name as a wacko.....

May 19, 2011 -- Time to break out the champagne and party hats because it's that time of year once again: doomsday.
Now Judgment Day doesn't always come once a year. In fact, it's often much more frequent than that. But that doesn't mean that all apocalypses are created equal.
While waiting for the end of the world, why not take a look at some of the most famous doomsday predictions in history?
We'll begin with the most imminent doomsday prediction: May 21. Pastor Harold Camping, president of Family Radio, is convinced that, after decoding passages in the Bible, the Rapture will take place on May 21, 2011, an event ushered in by an unprecedented global earthquake. The world will cease to exist five months later on October 21, 2011.
Camping has a small, but dedicated following that feels it is their duty to warn nonbelievers of the impending apocalypse. So they travel around the country with signs, hats, painted buses and reading materials all advertising impending doom.
When asked if he had considered what he might do when May 22 rolls around, Camping told NPR: "There is no Plan B."
Despite his faith in his convictions, Camping has been wrong before. He first predicted the end of the world in 1994, which he insists was a premature assessment since he had not completed his Bible research.

And I comment on Mr. Camping for a real reason, he learned from his mistake and until yesterday, shut his mouth up and stopped giving Christianity black eyes.  Of course, the damage was already done, but for him personally, he had the integrity to realize he was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong and finally and completely wrong in what he had done.

Best of intention but still a problem.  Yeah, because he realized, because he then shut up, I am thinking he was wrong, as any of us can be.  But, as far as I am aware he is alone in his ability to do just that - repent and disappear in silence as we are told to.  The others, well, their testimony is their heresy, for which they stand condemned, if anyone will bother to look.

So, another chapter in Western Theology comes to a close.  The vipers are still with us, looking to corrupt at any opportunity.  Are you sharp enough to catch them before they snare you?

You and Your Tongue

James so elegantly, so simply, tells of the power of the tongue.  Its power to destroy is probably easily known in all of our lives!  See James 3:1-12...

But the Bible has much more to say on this subject!  Solomon apparently had learned or observed many important lessons associated with opening your mouth.  So, grab your Bible, open it up to the book of Proverbs and think on what you have been told about the tongue of yours:

Consider not saying anything at all!
Proverbs 10:19, 10:21, 16:28, 17:9, 17:27-28

You do not need to say everything you know!
You do not have to say everything you think!
You do not have to repeat everything you hear!

Though with caution, as requesting prayer from those  you trust is very important to your life and walk!

Consider whether or not you actually know all of the facts!
Proverbs 14:3, 17:27, 18:13

Even if you are talking with an original source you have to stop and ask yourself if there is an agenda being run.  And as these last two years have shown me - a liar is going to lie, even when confronted!  You have to be careful in your sources.  The ability to use discernment can be very powerful in cutting through the personalities, agendas and emotions to find out what really is going on.

Consider the best way to say what needs to be said.
Proverbs 10:19, 12:25, 13:3, 15:1, 15:4, 15:23, 16:24, 18:21

There are lots of ways of saying the same things, without baiting the listener, without provoking a defensive or offensive reaction and without using weasel words!

Hence, the need to engage brain - before engaging mouth!

Tis The Season

As I sit and write this, so much has gone on around me!  Of course it is the opening of the holiday season and the whack-o's are out in force early this year!

It all started on Friday morning, I had to go to the downtown and of course it is icy out.  Well, add 14" of road rash to my left leg, backed up a beautiful holiday purple, red and green, as well as on my left shoulder, elbow and hip; add right ankle sprain again! and a wrenched back, just in case I was going to have any chance of walking normally!

At lunch, as I was walking down the sidewalk, a police car goes roaring by - donut sale?  Shift change?  Nope saw it was an accident about an hour later as my bus wormed past the mess.  Yeah, holiday rush, damp roadway, SUV insisting on occupying the same space as a bicycle!  Given that the guy was still on the ground, I assume it was a fatality.

Then the person behind me kicks the back of the seat real hard and says, "Yo, elk boy!".  It took me a few moments to register and remember I was wearing my RMEF life member jacket.  I turned cautiously around.  A mid-twenties female, multiple facial piercings and a backpack the size of a VW bug sat there staring at me!  So we talked about the Rocky Mountain Elk Foundation, I am a life member of it because although mostly hunters - it is this nation's largest conservation group, purchasing rights or ownership of about 1,000,000 acre's of habitat a year since 1984!  The existance of elk outside of Washington's Olympic Peninsula, the California Redwoods or the Rocky Mountains - is because of their efforts to re-introduce elk throughout North America.

Before I knew it, I had said twenty year old planting herself next to me on the bench seat and her walls fell hard.  And I am sitting there thinking - well, never mind, let us just say that fear overcame me.  It was with tremendous relief when she had to exit at the bus station!  But, I thought this whole episode odd.  I don't really know if she was looking for a fight or just bored.  But, certainly she became far to aggressive and comfortable with me - mighty fast!  Gees!  The least I can do and have been doing, is pray for her future making peace with her creator ...  And I ponder weird random incidences such as this.  What do they mean?  Why do they happen?  It is random and without any logic I can fathom.

Downtown, I checked in with the Sheriff's office to get my weapon's permit replaced.  Just then one of the TV new's groups was setting up for an interview with the spokesman.  First, I was stunned at how small she was!  She always looks to be full size on TV and she could reach my sternum if she jumped!  And it was not my fault that I had to wiggle my aching butt as I threaded my way through all of the cables and lights, to and from the pay window!  She starting laughing so hard they had to stop the filming and start over.  I watched the news just in case they had a bloopers segment ....  But, I ought to mention that at the Sheriff's is where a guy latched on to me and I just could not shake him!  It was not like he wanted to buy me drinks but he was nervous and not sure about having a concealed weapon.  He was scared (?) and I have no idea at what.  So, I got to step him through the process - he finishing before me and was gone, so I breathed a sigh of relief that he would not be hitting on me too!

Then it was off to the Seattle Art Museum to have my membership card replaced.  The membership lady was very nice, wanted to know if there was a "misses", etc.  Again, just odd.  Why should she care?  Is she planning on stalking me?  Maybe I should have put on my Old Spice, it seems to be my garlic against such rapt attention being poured over me!

But, no, I am not paranoid about Friday, because it got weirder.

I still had to go to the bus administration office to have that card replaced and the lady behind the counter is acting like she is high.  She can't stop laughing and cracking double entendre jokes!  She seemed normal enough helping the three people in line ahead of me and now completely weirding out on me!  I got to thinking maybe there was a sticker on my back or something!

By now the rains had come and hard!  Given we have had two weeks of icy cold weather, the warmer rains were nice to have back.  I texted my youngest daughter, whom was gracious enough to pick me up and save a one mile walk home.  So I treated her to Starbucks - where the barista guy hit on her!  What ever, at least it was not me for a change!

Musical Saturday Morning

It has been a rough week, make no mistake on that one!  And on Monday, as my character was assassinated yet again, only this time to my face, only one thing kept going through my mind:



Since my mind only deals in absurdities, although Liar, Liar was roaring through my brain, it had to be the Gilligan's Island version aka The Honey Bees.

I know, you will watch this and moan, "How lame!".

But, you know, there was a time when real women were not skeletal waifs, they were flesh and blood with real curves - but more importantly there was a thing called integrity they possessed.

Mary Ann on the left was the heart throb in the mid 1960's of most young males, she had standards, she had personality, she was witty, she was the girl next door.  Almost literally for me in the 1970's, you have no idea scarey that was!

Ginger in the center was panted over by the older teens and most young adult males, she had little competition back then.  She was alluring and sexy.  She was what all males wanted, when Mary Ann was not around.

And on the right, probably the woman whom should be most admired of all from Hollywood.   Yeah, she played a rich clueless (challenged!) female.  But, in real life, a vast number of women are alive today because of her.

"What?", you say!

Natalie Schafer, aka Mrs. Howell, was diagnosed with breast cancer prior to this TV show and instead of dying as all had done before her, she chose to fight it.  She was a multi-millionaire, when a million dollars actually meant something, so she could afford to pioneer a way not to die from this form of cancer.  And she survived.

Of course, the scars limited her ability to move her arms elegantly, or her upper torso.  So if you ever noticed how stiff she was, this is why - and NO ONE knew or said anything at the time.  Having had numerous women in my family and amongst my friends treated for this form of cancer, it leaves me with immense respect for this woman.  Yeah, just like her, all but one has died too, but they were granted a safer and more comfortable life in-between the discovery and death.

Which brings us back to Mary Ann.  Why?  Well, she was a real person and whom do  you think cared for Natalie Schafer as her life finally drew to a close?  Yeah, the real life Dawn Wells!  She had character, she was real, she really was the girl next door!  She even went on to found a company which makes clothing for people with limited mobility ... hmmm, just like Natalie had been.  Awesome.

So, although I may not care for the entire Gilligan's Island series, there were some remarkable people and stories associated with it.  And I always did like Mary Ann best...

Wounded and Thinking

I have to admit that I am at best not in a writing mood today.  Last night was ugly.  I am not saddened by what was said, how it was said or why it was said.  I knew long ago this was coming.  The rational on the part of Gaelic Girl could just as easily have been "your nose is on crooked", thus excusing her for giving me both barrels of her venom.  Instead I am apparently a lying oaf, wrong at every turn.  Does not matter what the truth was, does not matter my youngest daughter could backup every defense I had - GG was right and I am always wrong.  Again.  I fear that her mental health has again slipped into the realm of make believe.  And it saddens me greatly because she has been a friend for most of my life and I do care.

So, as I lay in bed last night, I thought on how haphazard life is.  When things should have been going well, everything is turned upside down.  When all things in are in God's hands - why would evil reign so supremely in my life?  What is left of my physical heart is in no condition to handle this level of stress (nitro is my best friend) and my emotional heart is still too young to try and understand what is going on.  Yet, all is what it is ...

1 Timothy 6:17-21

Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.  

Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share.  

In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.

Timothy, guard what has been entrusted to your care. Turn away from godless chatter and the opposing ideas of what is falsely called knowledge, 
which some have professed and in so doing have departed from the faith.

Grace be with you all.

As I sat here this morning looking blankly at my computer screen, I have tried to think what to write.  And I thought on what I wrote above, then thought on the ending to the book of 1 Timothy.  Paul was wrapping up an instruction filled letter to Timothy.  All was not well in Timothy's life nor ministry, and Paul was encouraging him.  Then I started seeing how my life at this time mirrors what Paul is saying:

A person, during the first century AD, would have been considered rich if they had a change of clothes and knew where their next meal was coming from.  Times where hard but if you had those two things, you were doing okay.

And Paul says to acknowledge what God has given you.  We are those rich people.  God has given me much.  For now a roof over my head, food and clothing to stay warm with.  He has also given me four children and three grandchildren whom rule my time and heart.  And I do have a friend I can trust.  I enjoy these gifts of His.

Yes, enjoyment.  Paul even says to enjoy what God has given you - however what is lost in our culture is verse 18: to share what God has given you.  We are very good at using up wastefully what God has given, but actually sharing and helping someone else?  No, we do not do very well.  It is the left overs we can no longer use we want to share!

I remember in my last church that we had a problem with people donating frozen, used tea bags to be sent to our missionaries in the field.  Yeah, used tea bags.  Honestly, how pathetic is that as a statement of the bounty of God in our lives?  The best for me, the rest for God's use ...

Going with the idea of sharing what we have, comes the idea that we are to be responsible with the resources we have been given.  EVERYTHING, is the understanding as to what is God's in our lives - EVERYTHING!  Cash, cars, things, happiness - EVERYTHING - but there is also our time and our friendships and our relationships.  EVERYTHING is a tool, to be used as a witness for God in another's life.

We are to guard what has been given to us ...  (I think I have not done well in this area in my earlier years, sigh!)  Escaping from the obvious thought of things, I want to think on this in terms as God's testimony, the testimony of the Saints and even my own testimony.  All of these are given to us and needed to be guarded as well - in deed and in with our mouths!

Further, we are given Faith, it is what allowed us to see and understand God's leading and what brought us to salvation.  It is what has allowed us to learn and to grow, to help us ferret out truth when we are confused.  It is the evidence of the Holy Spirit in our life.  And we totally and completely have the ability to not only strangle it but to outright kill it in our lives.  How?

Believe it or not, through the acquisition of knowledge.  Now there is nothing wrong with knowledge but it does lead away from Faith.

So many I have known through the years lost their faith in Bible School or Seminary, that I finally had to come up with the idea that most people are educated beyond their abilities.  Why would where you should expect to find truth and learning, that you need to strengthen your faith, you would instead lose your faith?  

Because of conflicting ideas, so many conflicting ideas that you are eventually forced to throw up your hands and say, "Enough!  It is all a faery tale!  And I now have proof!"  Well, no you don't, but you just discovered how Satan has thrown so much dust up in the air that your Faith has ended and you join the ranks of lost humanity no longer looking for nor believing in that awesome all powerful God.

And yeah, guarding your mouth, I have not done too well with that either.  Often I think out loud and it has repercussions on me and those around me.  I might wonder at something and people take that statement as being real - it was just me trying to work out something - trying to figure out how does God get from point A to point B.  I like knowing, I like observing, I like being surprised by Him and I marvel at how He always finds a way I never could have seen coming!  I love it, but it damages people around me it seems.  A lesson I learned this year.

Last week, I was worried because I could see that God was going to move in my life.  Saturday I knew that whatever it was, God would make it all work out and He gave me peace.  Last night was pretty ugly.  Today, typing this, that peace has returned.  Yeah, I expected to be homeless back in spring but things settled down with that last major heart attack and now all is out of control again.  

It will be amazing to see how God brings me through this into the next year ...  So much more I would be tempted to say, at my wonderment as to what God is doing but as I just stated above, perhaps it is best to not wonder out loud.  Sigh .,.

Nelson Mandela

It has driven me crazy this love affair in the media and Facebook at the death of Nelson Mandela.

Via my cousin I had quite an insight into the geopolitics of South Africa, back in the 1960's and about a terrorist by the name of Mandela.  Meant nothing to me, he was in South Africa and had no affect on my life in Germany.  However those geopolitics radiating from the USA would embroil the face of the earth and extend far beyond the lies of the American yellow journalistic press - there were some real questions there which still have not been adequately answered.

Since almost nothing is known here in Seattle of South African history, let's start there:

Original settlement of South Africa was to take place by English and Dutch mariners needing a watering hole and place to hide from the storms at the Horn of Africa.  These white settlers had no one to contest their presence - there was NO ONE in South Africa.

Far inland, yes there were several tribes, they had little contact with one another, much less the whites and all was peaceful for centuries.

But, gold was found, then diamonds, and platinum were found and workers were needed.  Whites moved inland to manage this newly found wealth and natives were enslaved and eventually hired to work the mines.  The Dutch and English got into a war which changed the face of southern Africa.  The Dutch did have a solid claim and enlisted the blacks to join them in the fight but the wealth of the English, brought the weapons of real war and the Dutch lost.  The blacks kept fighting but lacked the weapons needed to match their courage.  The English established more or less uncontested claim even to the inland.

The mines grew, nations such as Uganda, Kenya and Tanzania were formed, went into civil war and refugees fled south to the security of South Africa - and stayed.  The mines needed them, no one cared.  The government recognized that these were illegal immigrants but it was okay, the mines made them wealthy and the natives were better off than in the north where there was only warfare and poverty.

But a group formed called the African National Congress - a thinly veiled communist organization formed to drive the whites out of South Africa.  Why?  Because the Russians were willing to finance an effort to gain control of the rare earth deposits, gold and diamonds of South Africa.  In this group was Nelson Mandela.

One of their efforts was to blow up the high power transmission towers to Pretoria.  They succeeded and unfortunately at least one white died as a part of that effort.  The ANC was driven into Southwestern Africa aka Namibia and Angola, those captured were imprisoned and all was well.  Except that the civil rights movement in the USA had through legal moves thwarted white control and subjugation of blacks.  Why not do the same for the South African blacks?  Nelson Mandela became a symbol of Apartheid and all that was evil in South Africa.

Make no mistake here, Nelson Mandela was a terrorist, a murderer, and a communist.  He now used his western star status to get messages to his wife and to his friends on how to protest, how to attack, how to continue to drive towards a violence based end to South Africa.  He was not interested in  justice or fairness or equality, he wanted the death of all whom opposed him.  Even if you were black he came up with a special punishment, necklacing with a burning tire to kill you.  And the Russians were able to use this momentum to place Cuban forces into the new Angola and engage in open warfare with South African forces.

Eventually, Mandela was released, was assigned the position of the first black President of South Africa.  And trials began for the whites and a man named Le Klerk was assigned to the state held trials.  There is no question this man was brilliant.  Outside of 20 whom were tried as terrorists for attempting to over throw the Mandela government, no one went to prison.  The trials were all televised and used to heal the people involved and the country.  What?!?!?!?

Yeah, something had happened to that terrorist named Mandela, he changed in prison.  It was not the hard work or that he had lost his hate but that he discovered that there was a higher power than himself, someone whom was going to hold him accountable, someone whom dealt in eons not mere years.

Mandela's parents had been Christian, there is strong evidence his wife was (although rather insane at times!) and he was to be closely associated with Desmond Tutu later in life.  Was Mandela a Christian?  Certainly not in his early life, he certainly portrayed those virtues in his post prison life but more importantly, he learned compassion - not a virtue of mankind.  It came from somewhere and although he never made a point of stating his faith - one is left to wonder.

So, this past week I have been appalled by the boo-hoo "Mandela is dead" group, because they forget 2/3 of his life and that there are repercussions for his actions still to this day.  A great many people died because of this man.  Conversely, the "thank got he is dead /  may he burn in hell" crowd fail to understand that this man under went a major change in his philosophy.

Only God truly knows whether or not Mandela now is risen in Jesus or fallen as a man to where no man was never designed to be.  But, we can see and know he was evil - just like we all were, under went a major internal change - just as each of us must do, and he gained in compassion and wisdom that far transcended whom he was.  That sounds like the Holy Spirit to me.

Yes, South Africa, as with Rhodesia, went from first world to third world status faster than anyone would have forecast - yet Mandela was not responsible for that - that lay at the feet of first world bankers whom saw no reason to continue to invest in a country with no natural resources of any importance any longer.

Where does Mandela's legacy lie?  Certainly not with the west and its political correctness of equality.  Certainly not in the mass of dead, both white and black killed in his name.  Definitely in the charity of justice for those mislead by their leadership.  Definitely in his willingness to learn and change.

Perhaps though his life was lived out with a global audience, that is where it really lay, he was a man, struggling to understand the evil of man and overcome by it - but the tale did not end there - he chose to overcome who he was.

Completion!

So, I managed to complete my painting for this year's Christmas card!

So here it is .

For some reason when I use my camera and then adjust the colors with photoshop, they come out great on my screen and then completely wash out when printed.  Also the camera tends to "look through" the watercolor  - well, watercolor is translucent, but black ought to be black!  Black is black in person on the painting, but not in photographs.

Just goes with my frustrations of the day in wrestling with this creation!

As a side note, the printer now refuses to print on card stock!  I have no clue what is going on!  I have changed cartridges, cleaned the heads and still there are little lines every half inch through the  pictures!.  I think I am being driven mad by technology!

So, off to the store to buy some Christmas cards to get into the mail today!

Christmas Gifts

Every year I promise myself I will do paintings for those I give presents to and every year I fail.  Oh, I have given some paintings out as presents, just not to everyone on my list - which would be a real joy for me (but about 5x more expensive to mail!).  So, another year of failure.

I have been fighting to even have three hours in the past month to work on this year's Christmas card!  Last night, I finally got those three hours and about 90% of the layout is now complete.  This year's image is of the Baptist Church in South Fork, Colorado.  It is a very pretty exterior, clean lines with just a hint of southwestern flavor.  I am making it with a winter scene to make it more seasonal.

I was down that way in 2005 with my kids.  The Lord had laid on my heart that this was the last year we would be together, so we traveled to Colorado and each of the kids got to try new experiences - horseback riding, packing, fly fishing for trout, sneaking through the woods looking for bears - you know all of the fun things of the youthful years.  And then there was South Fork.  One decent restaurant and Swiss at that (the owner came out when he heard someone ordering in correct German for his dishes, such fun)!  A grocery store and a church, well and the little strip mall full of tourist tee shirts.  So, I snapped some pictures of the church, a rock, back side of a moose, yeah not exactly a mecca for photography.

And I was glad I had heeded that warning because within months my eldest daughter would be gone in a spat over whether or not a 17 year old should even be around a 23 year old male.  It was the last of the family outings, well other than the move here.  And I should add that my first son-in-law has done well by me and my eldest daughter, and I have told him that - so he is not so afraid of me any longer.  LOL!

Well, time to mosey and see if I can get that drawing complete so I can start painting tomorrow!

Marsha

Since I am semi-retired, I have a great deal of time on my hands.  Three days a week I watch grandchildren for my two with kids, two days a week I am flat on my lips recovering from the grandchildren the day before, as an average - one day a week I get to see a friend, one day a week I volunteer to help older people (think elderly, hospital, doctors, etc), and the final day I use doing projects at home - and am I ever so far behind the curve on that one - even my projects have projects!

So, two weeks ago I am driving an elderly couple to see their doctor in Seattle.  Both in their late eighties and both are a real hoot to be around!  I love their stories from the "good old days" and I think they like having someone to talk with.  The woman turns to me, hitting me on the arm in her adorable way and says, "I heard someone named Marsha in your church has cancer.  Do you know her?"

My mind had to race there.  I really only know maybe a dozen women by sight at the church and none of them personally.  The married ones stay away, whom I would feel safe around, and the others have no use for at all for tall, dark and European.  Even the barracuda whom I have mentioned in the past stays away - I am just too different (?) - unless her bicycle breaks down and then I get a sobbing phone call.  And the same really goes for the guys as well, Kris is just too odd.  I guess...

But, I could think of two Marsha's in the church, one of them the cleaning lady, whom also runs the children's church area.  But, although I may say hi to that Marsha, I really do not know much about her, much less the other one I have never said hi to.  And I see the cleaning lady often at church, so I know it is not her.

Having no clue on this subject and hearing no rumors floating, I just wrote off the question - there probably is an answer, it just will not be ever known by me!  And if it is the unknown Marsha, well mute point, I do not actually know her.

Saturday was bazaar day here in the south-end of Seattle.  School gyms, lunchrooms, Masonic Halls, community centers all hosting craft bazaars.  I do enjoy going and seeing what other artists are doing and in hopes of encouraging me to get out of the artist funk I am in - year three.

At one of the schools, I came across cleaning woman Marsha, with part of her family, we said hi and I moved on - just normal.  I accept non-existence well, she is Norwegian and vocal concerning Germans and besides her husband is a manual laborer and I think I am not liked by him because I think too much rather than grab a hammer and pound on something!  He is really good at pounding on things.

I had walked about ten feet when some of the women on the opposite side of the table were commenting at how horrible it was that Marsha has colon cancer and it is not going well.  Well, that stopped me in my tracks.

For me to say hi to you, is to not be polite, it is to acknowledge you.  The lack of any conversation is at best normal for me.  I can write volumes and say barely two words.  I was stunned that no one would tell anyone in our church about this!  That none of her kids would say anything.  That this church where deceitful gossip and outright lies have no problem circulating can not even acknowledge that one of our own is dying.

Really?!?!?!?!?

It just sickens me.  Today is a Seahawks (football) game day, horrible attendance because everyone is positioning themselves in front of their TV and no one could even think to hold a prayer session for this woman?

Her son asked me one time whom the greatest Christian was in the church.  I told him that it was his mother.  He was stunned.  I reminded him that even if she got paid to clean the church twice a week - it was still a testimony just to be willing to do it!  I would probably opt for using a flame thrower on the girls toilet!

Yeah, I think highly of her because she took the lowest of positions - does an outstanding job at that, to support the activities and direction of the Church.  And, I think she has done this for years!  And nobody helps her ever - other than her daughter on occasion.  That is the heart of service, that is the calling for each and everyone of us, to do the unlovely, to do the lowly, in quiet and without pretense or recognition.

Oh yeah, she will be rewarded in Heaven for her servitude while the millions whom have clamored for status, position and wealth in this sick generation will be lucky to reach Heaven with their backsides on fire!  So, you want to be a servant of God?  Think of the multitudes of Marsha's out there, unknown, unappreciated, unacknowled.

Take a moment this week and figure out a neat way to say thank you to the real Christian leader/witness/worker in your church; and remember that "imitation is the sincerest form of compliment"  (charles caleb colton) ...

Musical Saturday Morning

Missing old acquaintances this morning.  Watched some videos from my cousin (if she divorces my real cousin, is she still my cousin, I hate family intrigue politics!) and almost posted another one by her this morning because I am in a wild Scottish rocker mood.  But, then got to thinking about Hans Hölzel - it has been 15 years since his death and yeah I miss him too.

Hans was one of those eaten alive by stardom and certainly not what he ever wanted.  One of only four Austrians to actually make it to international attention, the only Austrian rocker of note, the only German speaker to score a number one on the American Billboard - He was talented.  And in spite of all you might read about him and his problems, he did love his wife.

But, with fame came chemical dependencies and situations not conducive for family nor children.  He lost both, even to the point of in the heat of the hatred surrounding his divorce - his wife told him his daughter was not actually his, and his life spiraled out of control.   A story not unique to him at all.  I can still remember him climbing on stage and beating the (tar) out of a bass player at an open air concert, because the guy could not play to Hans' liking.  He then took the guitar and made a complete ass of himself - too far gone to play.  I felt so sorry for him.  I could understand how he fell so low ... he had lost all he knew and all he loved.  There was nothing left for him as a Germanic male.  We are fragile it seems.

But, in earlier times, when he was at his height of both creativity and popularity, Amedeus was released in 1985.  I howled with laughter when I saw what he had done.  Well done Hans.




But, his fall was already in progress.

Make no mistake, Hans did figure it all out, somehow got his life clean and himself back together.  He was working on a new album, building a new house in the Dominican Republic and staging a comeback.  I remember he had said that his greatest love was his daughter, and when he started the house project, my wanting to ask him how moving half way around the world was going to allow him to stay in her life.  I did not have the guts back then to say it.  And at his death in 1998, while on a trip to see how the house was coming along, all he had went to his daughter (as I remember) but she was too young to understand.  I remember thinking how it was sort of a trick of the fates - his ex was probably going to be the first person to stay in his house.

Like so many, he got famous, he lost it all, he got cleaned up, got his life together and BLAM!, he was gone.  It happens far too often to be a coincidence.  It is like God gives one really hard shove, so a person can get it together because He knows time is short.  Whether being hit by a car in Vienna, backed over by a bread truck in Seattle or flattened by an out of control bus in the Dominican Republic - when it is time, it is time - to the split second.  At least, that is my belief.

I am glad he got a piece of his life together - for his daughter's sake if nothing else.  Maybe it is just a Germanic thing, but I think it is important how you are remembered.  For Hans, I knew him going up and then flat on his face.  I was excited for him to attempt his comeback, cleaned up, sober, pulling all of the pieces of his life back together.  I only wish 30 years ago I had been brave enough to have witnessed about the only real answer in this life.

Poor Dutchman

Poor Dutchman is beside himself.  His youngest son has decided to marry and announced to the world yesterday his choice.  Yeah, another train wreck for his life, as if he has not been beset by enough as it is.

I have never commented much about the details concerning this son because, well, mainly I refuse to allow my mind to sink to such levels.  Let us just say that he has been very troubled for the past nine years.  Both Dutchman and I had sort of fantasized that the youngest son would be interested in and eventually marry my oldest.  Silly parents!  Before he was out of high school, Dutchman came to me and told me that he would not allow his son to even attempt to go on another date with my daughter.  Apparently, he found out how sick his son really was before either I or my daughter did!

And as the years ticked by, that young man was making grosser and grosser mistakes in life.  There are levels of sickness we are talking here so black that the mind has a hard time wrapping itself around the concept of how could someone be that ... broken.  And most of that started when Dutchman was away working in Denmark on a project, which then injured him severely and he was then out of it for a few years recovering.  At least the legalities of what son did, the father was able to finance a way around - with the added cost of expensive attorneys.

It is like Satan staged the perfect attack: father gets sent out on a job for two years, son is lured into sickness, father is injured and loses another two years recovering, son falls further into depravity, father is hurting financially and can not even send son to therapy (actually I am not even sure we knew such a thing existed at the time!), son's mis-behaviors begin to cause problems in his life and spiral him into unemployment and substance abuse, he refuses to talk with his father or even me any longer!  Then he starts to get his head together but by now is living the pagan lifestyle and likes it.  Along comes someone he should never have even met - and now scheduled wedding bells.

I can hope that he will have a great marriage or family or a bright future, but I fear he has willing tried an anchor to his leg and the next time he does a nose dive - well, nothing will raise him from those depths.  And living as a non-Christian, marrying a non-Christian - a secular marriage, he only has a 40% chance of not ending in divorce in the first five years.  Even if he turned himself around and she became a Christian, today's percents are almost as dismal.

She is from South Dakota, so I expect she will be off for there dragging Dutchman's son along behind her, at least until she tires of him.  Twenty-two, four husbands, yeah it is hard to be positive and hope for much other than she is going for another income check.

And, just as easily, this could be my son in a few years ... sigh ...

So for those young men, whom are my readers, consider your choices and actions well.  This young man did not wake up one morning at his Christian school and say, "Gosh, wouldn't it be nice to be addicted to virtually everything and then marry someone because she appeals to my increasing problems?"

No, step by step, choice by choice, you drive a wedge between you and God, sure God can forgive almost everything - but you will wake up one morning and no longer care there even is a God because you crave your next addiction or feel so sorry for what you did and know God never could forgive you - so why try any more?

It is all lies from Satan.  He only has one purpose - to discount your testimony before your friends so they will know you only believe in a lie.  And when he can get you to that point, you are lost, as are all of your friends whom are now following your example.

So, look at your life and consider what it ought to be.  Repent.  Get back into the Word.  Get back into prayer.  Get back into fellowship.

And most importantly - learn to forgive and let go of what drove you away from God in the first place.

The Cold

We are experiencing a bit of a cold snap, the coldest weather in several years, for this time of year.  Usually we do not get treated to 27 degree (-3C) weather until February!

So, for the next week the high is predicted to be 33 degrees and the lowest low of about 21 at this point.

We even had snow here at my house yesterday!  it was not much, just enough to cover my bbq on the back deck.

My sister whom insists on living in Minneapolis and then complains about the weather constantly (it is too hot, it is too cold, it is too humid, help I am buried in the in the snow - send sled dogs!) decided to put up a festive trellis in front of her house for Christmas.  Apparently it took a sledgehammer for her to drive the trellis into the ground, it was so frozen solid.  I was at the doctors when she texted me that one - he was laughing with me and asked why she did not use a portable drill.  Smart doctor, eh?

I was laughing at that one, so the doctor explained that two years ago his daughter decided on an outdoor winter wedding and that was how he got stands holding the flower pots into the ground.  I looked at him ....  He clicked his tongue, "Yeah, well, never could say no to that one ... "  Then we both laughed.  Youngest daughters probably are special, well I think each of mine are special - at least to me.  But, if my youngest wants an outdoor winter wedding, it had better be in Hawaii or similar!

Yeah, I just can not take the cold now.  I used to relish cold.  The lower the temperatures fell, the happier I was.  I have photos of me in Alaska a few years back, -30 F with my shirt sleeves rolled up!  Yeah, everywhere I went people were dressed in their snow bunny suits and heavy down parkas, and there was I with no coat, no long johns and just happy.  They thought I was insane, but just as I commented in Russia more than once on this subject during my winter trips there (-40 F in Siberia!), maybe you need to move where it is warmer if you have no tolerance for the cold!  But, this winter the cold is affecting me.

I do not know if it is the heart drugs doing this to me but the cold just seems to eat through to my old bone breaks and scar tissue.  I just ache all over!  Were it not for the kids being here I would consider moving to Tucson or further south into Mexico!  Conversely, I was so hot during the summer that I was dying during August and the 75 degree weather!  I was sitting in front of a 30 inch fan, set in front of a portable air conditioner, stripped down, wind blowing on me at high and drinking water like there was no tomorrow.  Everyone else was covering themselves in blankets if they were in the same room with me!

Well time to go throw more bread in the toaster and stand as close as I can get ...

Causing Yourself Frustration

You know, no one can out Kris, Kris when it comes to utter stupidity.  Sigh...

As you might remember, I have been working on a book I had hoped to have been completed with by now however life got in the way and I lost about half of this year.  I am using a nom de plume because of the subject matter and so with my memory have to have everything written down somewhere.

But, if you leave your notebook on top of your car, when you drive away - and even if you notice it is missing only a short time later - good luck ever finding it!

So, I fretted for my royalty account information was in there, and I have to leave shortly to be sure no one can access that!  My membership cards to museums as well.  And my disabled parking pass.  Sigh.

Much running around to do today to get all of this beginning to straightened out.

****

It is with interest I find the situation that yesterday morning, some papers fell out of my notebook as i was getting ready to go.  One of them was a poem, nothing special but important to me.  So, I typed it up on my super secret poem site and tossed the paperwork.

How was I to know that only hours later that book would have been lost and had that poem not fallen out, it would have been lost for all time!  It must have been a God thing, He saved that poem for me and knew it would have otherwise been lost.  I guess it does have meaning after all, else why bother saving it for me?

So, just my Yahoo account took 90 minutes and I never was able to recover it!  So, I hurriedly blocked my facebook account from being taken and then created a new email address, linked the facebook to it, then unliked the old yahoo id and email.  Perhaps I at least saved my FB account.

The rest of the day was dedicated to stopping any attempts to change my mailing address or non-photo id access to my bank accounts or royalties account.  Such a mess I have made for myself!

Wednesday is dedicated to my membership and usage cards: concealed weapons permit, disabled bus pass, disabled parking id and my Seattle Art Museum membership.

Alas, my many gift certificates, discounts and other such are now lost since they are not tracked by name.

Oh grrrrrr! To quote number two daughter.

Kimberly Ann

So there I was standing, staring blankly into the sunrise, I need caffeine, I was stunned I was upright.  Suddenly, a form leaps in front of me! and throws its arms around me, burying its nose in my right armpit!  What is it with my armpits and why are they always on nose level of the females I know?!?!?!?

I pushed the female form back so I could see whom it was.  Surprisingly, it was Kimberly Ann aka African Missionary Girl of years ago!  I was oh so happy to see her!

She had come out here to see her brother and sister-in-law for Thanksgiving, and as fate would have it, me as well!  It was so joyful to see her and talk and share.  There was still so much more to talk about when she had to go but I thanked God for moments we did have.

I spotted her husband a few times but he never approached, so I just hung back.  

So, a pleasant start to an interesting Sunday.

After church is was off to the local Mexican restaurant, where she is demonstrating that the best fried ice cream is to be found here.

Nature of Friendship

Having lost most of my friends last year and most of my acquaintances as well, because I was willing to risk all to do what God told me - and would do so again - I have contemplated the nature of friendship this year.

In years past, friend or no friend, all was meaningless to me - but God had to change me from what I knew to this unknown I slosh through.  But, it had to all happen at once, my nature to be changed, my friends to desert me - the timing perfect.  And yet ...

God knew and God provided - a friend, a teacher, an equal.  When I sat stunned and betrayed, part of me was still trying to work through the mystery of this.  Do not ask me, God's ways and timing are not my own.  I still marvel and wonder where ultimately all will be found ...

He gave me what He knew I would need and it caused me pause to contemplate much about life, being a human being, about me and about God.  In there is the concept of friendship in all of its manifestations.

Proverbs 17:17 - a friend hurts when your hurt.

It takes God's LOVE at all times to be able to be a friend when times are hard.  Hard times show you whom your true friends really are.  And I contemplated that as i saw a slow parade through my room in ER's CCU during the wait for surgery and then the recovery.  Those whom were not my friends evaporated and were not to be found.  And yet, I know, because I do know, though some think themselves enemies of me, they will figure it out and return to find my friendship will not have changed.

Consider Job 6:14, a friend should be there for you - even if you decide to abandon God!  That is commitment and love being spelled out.

Proverbs 27:6 -A real friend will say what needs to be said, even when it hurts you.  They will confront you with the truth.  Everybody needs a real friend - flesh and blood - someone whom will have faith in you, even when we have lost faith in ourselves.

Proverbs 22:24 - avoid the angry man, his ways will rub off on you! 

A real friend will bring out the best in you.  They will encourage you, they will stand, when others fall away.

Whom you choose as friends is extremely important, pick the wrong ones and you will become like them and waste years until  you wake up and realize how you have been played.

Pick the correct ones and you will be encouraged into becoming the best that you can be - and perhaps - even more!

So across this past weekend, a time of reflection and thanksgiving, I am saddened that those whom I counted as friends for decades - were not.  I rejoice for those whom have been so during that same time period and as I have been tried by fire, stood there with me, and suffered as well, then encouraged me to be what I could still be.  Then I rejoice for the new friend, I never could have foreseen, never could have understood and can only marvel at God and wonder, "What is He still up to?"