Yeah, 2013 was a heck of a year.
It opened up with another attack from virtual forth daughter, again directed through the church. It was the attack which was to show that Dutchman had been right along, her mother had poisoned her mind (if you think not dear, you really ought to talk with me one of these days so you can find out just how well we both were played!). Surprising to me was that the Elders sided with her story rather than have her on the line and get the full story from the both of us as way of a discussion. They would have learned I had been right in the 2012 that this was not her or her words, they were her mothers. In the long run it does not matter much because I can face God cleanly, at least as far as she is concerned.
I was forced out of my new college pursuits since a lady did a U turn in front of me and forced me into a telephone pole, busting up my right knee. It was good. I had learned only weeks earlier that most of the work done in my new pursuit of life was in the realm of child pornography - and honestly I have no sympathy upon those whose lifestyle is based on this. Yeah, I would love to see them brought to justice, or dead, but I do not need to be an expert witness having to track their imagines through the internet! I wanted to do banking fraud or international wire transfer investigations - not deal in the lowest of sin (in my mind!)...
Life was just as hard as 2012 had been. Gaelic Girl continued her attacks eventually contributing to another big heart attack. Two stents in one artery, two arteries still blocked and no way to stent them due to the curvature of the vessels. Sigh, which has now led to an additional 183 attacks! Yeah, almost daily and I have given up even going into the hospital for them anylonger. My heart is failing, I know it, the doctors know it and there is nothing which can be done until I recover from April. If God wants to call me home, get it over and do it God!
Yet as I lay in CCU at the hospital, in my mind I formulated Kris' goodbye. I would travel to Denver to see my friend from high school (and share with him about the new me), then my one ex-step-mother I kept through all these years - last good byes, then on to Arizona to see my old mining partner and the same there. Then Kris would just quietly disappear. Nothing left for me anywhere, nothing left in Switzerland save one aunt, so I planned on walking south - until I found where I needed to be or died beside the road somewhere. Neither really mattered, it was all over for me.
Only three things interrupted my perfect plan - I was not going to recover from that heart attack and surgery, my friend came down with cancer and I never could talk with him and then ...
I was to discover a real new friend, never expected. There is such a thing as a kindred spirit or a soul mate, something I always scoffed at in years gone by. Whom could have thought? And if any desire exists within me for life, it is because God has me intrigued with my new friend. Why bring an "equal" into my life? So late in life? And since all things are not equal, what is He up to? It intrigues me no end and makes me wonder. Obviously He knows the future, He knows our needs, He is up to something and seems not willing to let me in on the secret! And if Kris is to figure this out, then Kris must cool his jets, coast and see what is what ... Conversely, it might not be about or for me at all, it could all be about them and their needs. So, I try to tread water and observe ...
But, the biggest was that God was to change - at first slowly - my nature. Emotion was to become real. Not like a ton of bricks as I had been hit with in May 2012, for three weeks, but as a mellow and aged thing. Sure I am still like an early teen emotionally (in an old man's body!) but it has been one of the most incredible things I have ever encountered. Yeah, meaningless to you because you are normal - I never was...
I started writing a book, five times now! But, it is getting better with each rewrite. And each time I bog down on the chapter of the violence which is central to the book - it appalls me. Yeah, darn new nature! I have to get back to that and push through it though! Sigh ...
I painted my first piece in three years, a picture of a little church for my Christmas cards this year. Also first Christmas cards in three years! LOL. But, unlike early painting attempts - this was done in one take - no anxiety or anger. It flowed and I sort of liked the results, well, they have grown on me. So I expect to do much more painting in 2014, hopefully at least one a week, or 52 for the year! That is the goal.
And believe it or not, that is all there is to my year. Most of it spent in heart recovery unable to do much at all except prayer for those on my heart and wonder .....
Showing posts with label Miracle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Miracle. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Born To Die
Outside of Enoch and Elijah, no one I know of has left this physical exisitence here on Earth and not had to transition through death of the physical body first. That means that all of us were born to die.
Death is a physical reality to each and everyone of us and of course in all of our schooling we never get the real class we could use like: getting through a parents' death, what are you supposed to do, how are we to face our own death?
Of course, none of us were born to die by design, no we get to thank either Adam or Eve, your choice depending on your Theology, for whom to blame. So what is the point here? I have stated a paradox.
The only human being actually born into death, was Jesus. He came because He knew He had to die. He came because without His death, all other humans would be lost in their sin. He came expressly knowing He would die.
One of my better lessons was one which I gave on a Christmas Eve, laying out Jesus' birth, everyone agreed. I layed out His reason for coming, everyone agreed. I laid out that His death was foreordained, God knew, He knew, He was going to be sacrificed - His entire reason for being born in the first place - and you would have thought me a heretic for the reception that idea drew.
Really?
The Romans really had a choice not to kill Jesus?
The Jews would really welcome Jesus as their Messiah?
Somehow mankind could choose wisely, choosing Jesus over the lure of sin?
Really?
Dutchman and I sat and talked through yesterday afternoon. His father-in-law is dying in Holland, multiple cancers, the end was written a year ago, we never thought it would take this long. Today his sister-in-law is being married by her father, perhaps his last ritual to perform.
I thought quietly back to the day Dutchman got married. Such a disaster of a day. Such a blessed day as well. Dutchman's flaming natural red afro towering over this bride and everyone else other than me (I was still 4" taller at the time!). It was hot, his youngest brother passed out.
And this giant in the Reformed Church stood there and calmly led a ceremony which basically laid out that if you toss my daughter you are going to die and I am going to ask the best man to do it! We all three laughed as the blue hairs gasped in the background.
Now he is just a part of history- but more on that when he does pass on.
I thought of my body and its not so slow failing. Yeah, like almost all other humans I have expected to die. YOLO was my motto long before those whom use this as a battle cry in this generation were ever born. Because of the past year now I can understand how true YOLO really is. Not because I have to pump up the volume of my life, but because each moment is precious - to be shared - to be lived - with the understanding that we here not for ourselves but for others and to represent Him.
This holiday, think on the shortness of this life and how fragile it really is. Perhaps you might draw the courage to witness just one more time to that aging relative, to comfort those in pain or ill health, to laugh with those in joy.
To my friend, thank you, you have brought me a joy no one would ever understand.
To my daughter, because of you God rewarded me as He probably never has done before.
To my long term friends, you are family, you are now actually loved.
To my family here and in Switzerland, my prayers and best wishes are all yours.
To my God, you sure knocked my socks off this year!
Thank you.
Merry Christmas dear reader.
Death is a physical reality to each and everyone of us and of course in all of our schooling we never get the real class we could use like: getting through a parents' death, what are you supposed to do, how are we to face our own death?
Of course, none of us were born to die by design, no we get to thank either Adam or Eve, your choice depending on your Theology, for whom to blame. So what is the point here? I have stated a paradox.
The only human being actually born into death, was Jesus. He came because He knew He had to die. He came because without His death, all other humans would be lost in their sin. He came expressly knowing He would die.
One of my better lessons was one which I gave on a Christmas Eve, laying out Jesus' birth, everyone agreed. I layed out His reason for coming, everyone agreed. I laid out that His death was foreordained, God knew, He knew, He was going to be sacrificed - His entire reason for being born in the first place - and you would have thought me a heretic for the reception that idea drew.
Really?
The Romans really had a choice not to kill Jesus?
The Jews would really welcome Jesus as their Messiah?
Somehow mankind could choose wisely, choosing Jesus over the lure of sin?
Really?
Dutchman and I sat and talked through yesterday afternoon. His father-in-law is dying in Holland, multiple cancers, the end was written a year ago, we never thought it would take this long. Today his sister-in-law is being married by her father, perhaps his last ritual to perform.
I thought quietly back to the day Dutchman got married. Such a disaster of a day. Such a blessed day as well. Dutchman's flaming natural red afro towering over this bride and everyone else other than me (I was still 4" taller at the time!). It was hot, his youngest brother passed out.
And this giant in the Reformed Church stood there and calmly led a ceremony which basically laid out that if you toss my daughter you are going to die and I am going to ask the best man to do it! We all three laughed as the blue hairs gasped in the background.
Now he is just a part of history- but more on that when he does pass on.
I thought of my body and its not so slow failing. Yeah, like almost all other humans I have expected to die. YOLO was my motto long before those whom use this as a battle cry in this generation were ever born. Because of the past year now I can understand how true YOLO really is. Not because I have to pump up the volume of my life, but because each moment is precious - to be shared - to be lived - with the understanding that we here not for ourselves but for others and to represent Him.
This holiday, think on the shortness of this life and how fragile it really is. Perhaps you might draw the courage to witness just one more time to that aging relative, to comfort those in pain or ill health, to laugh with those in joy.
To my friend, thank you, you have brought me a joy no one would ever understand.
To my daughter, because of you God rewarded me as He probably never has done before.
To my long term friends, you are family, you are now actually loved.
To my family here and in Switzerland, my prayers and best wishes are all yours.
To my God, you sure knocked my socks off this year!
Thank you.
Merry Christmas dear reader.
Friday, August 9, 2013
Bummer
So locked out of my account for the better part of two weeks - thank you Google for your haphazard rules and regulations, so that those without an interest in having Google know their phone number can no longer access their accounts!
My trip to Colorado was altered mightily when one of my classmates and one of two I was going to be seeing, decided to fall ill and spend the whole of my time there in the hospital. Make no mistake, I am gravely worried for him and have been encouraging ALL of my Christian friends and relatives to be praying for him. If that includes you, please do join us in prayer - for his healing, his body's ability to fight these cancers and maintain his will power. For his family: strength, wisdom, faith when there is no reason for any to exist. And then there is the problem of finances. He was the sole paycheck and they have little, much less enough to address August's expenses, much less, this disaster. In short, I am seeking many miracles. He has been a friend, a brother and someone I have looked up to for decades.
The point of this post this post is to give you a heads up on an important prayer item. I will tell you more about the trip next week, once i have had some sleep.
My trip to Colorado was altered mightily when one of my classmates and one of two I was going to be seeing, decided to fall ill and spend the whole of my time there in the hospital. Make no mistake, I am gravely worried for him and have been encouraging ALL of my Christian friends and relatives to be praying for him. If that includes you, please do join us in prayer - for his healing, his body's ability to fight these cancers and maintain his will power. For his family: strength, wisdom, faith when there is no reason for any to exist. And then there is the problem of finances. He was the sole paycheck and they have little, much less enough to address August's expenses, much less, this disaster. In short, I am seeking many miracles. He has been a friend, a brother and someone I have looked up to for decades.
The point of this post this post is to give you a heads up on an important prayer item. I will tell you more about the trip next week, once i have had some sleep.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Puppet of the Fates
So much, for now almost two years, has been completely out of my control. Like anyone, I like to be in control or at least have the appearance of control. No this is not a post on "oh woe is me".
Talking with my niece, I was led to tell her about Jenna, a young girl I knew back when I was adopting for the first time. Her parents were long time friends, her greatest joy was that she was going to have new friends from Northern Russia. She was putting together a plan to welcome them to the 'real world'. It was very cute, but was not to be.
One day, I took the boys from the high school group out for a day of paint balling in the woods. The guys, all of whom had worked hard on preparing my home for sale, had a great time. But getting home was a real difficulty. Traffic was backed up all over the place for 20 miles! Eventually, I was to get home and find that I had a message from Jenna's father, she had been hit by a car. The traffic back up was because they had shut down the roadways so that a helicopter could be brought in. She died about one in the morning.
At the memorial service, over 950 came. No they were not there because of whom her father or mother was, they are just normal people. Nor because of whom her grandparents are, pretty normal types as well. There was something very special about that nine year old girl - she was a Christian and lived a very active Christian witness. Adult after adult stood and told at how she had either led them in salvation, or had challenged them to correct their walk! Even my own adopted sister Cherie, was one those to come to salvation because of this little girl's straightforward witness.
And I meditated on this.
A Christian of only four years, by the time of her death, and look at the impact she had made!
And I thought on Larry my friend of years past, whom was miraculously healed early in my faith, he was murdered two weeks later. And yet, that miracle was what it took for him to believe and do what was right - even if it led to his own death.
And I thought through the years. What does longevity of life mean, if only it is to 'lengthen' life, but to no purpose for God? Does God actually care whether we live four years or forty years after our salvation? Or is our life based not on longevity but on accomplishment? Maybe it is a combination of both? I wondered.
And this artificial extension of my life .... I have no fear of death for I have tried to be faithful my entire life to what I am told. Admittedly, I never expected to have lived this long after December 2011, so I have had to work through what do you do when all goes south, what do you do when nothing goes right, what do you do while you are waiting, what do you do when opportunity does not match expectation? And I have tried to find those answers to those issues and then share them in this blog - the short of it: you keep doing what you were told is right.
And no matter the circumstance, you just keep trucking, following the last set of orders, doing what it takes to remain faithful.
I guess I am writing this mostly because I no longer know what tomorrow holds. It is with faith alone I face a surgeon again shortly. Live or die, is of no consequence, for His work will continue, His goals will be met, with or without me. And that is totally awesome.
:)
Talking with my niece, I was led to tell her about Jenna, a young girl I knew back when I was adopting for the first time. Her parents were long time friends, her greatest joy was that she was going to have new friends from Northern Russia. She was putting together a plan to welcome them to the 'real world'. It was very cute, but was not to be.
One day, I took the boys from the high school group out for a day of paint balling in the woods. The guys, all of whom had worked hard on preparing my home for sale, had a great time. But getting home was a real difficulty. Traffic was backed up all over the place for 20 miles! Eventually, I was to get home and find that I had a message from Jenna's father, she had been hit by a car. The traffic back up was because they had shut down the roadways so that a helicopter could be brought in. She died about one in the morning.
At the memorial service, over 950 came. No they were not there because of whom her father or mother was, they are just normal people. Nor because of whom her grandparents are, pretty normal types as well. There was something very special about that nine year old girl - she was a Christian and lived a very active Christian witness. Adult after adult stood and told at how she had either led them in salvation, or had challenged them to correct their walk! Even my own adopted sister Cherie, was one those to come to salvation because of this little girl's straightforward witness.
And I meditated on this.
A Christian of only four years, by the time of her death, and look at the impact she had made!
And I thought on Larry my friend of years past, whom was miraculously healed early in my faith, he was murdered two weeks later. And yet, that miracle was what it took for him to believe and do what was right - even if it led to his own death.
And I thought through the years. What does longevity of life mean, if only it is to 'lengthen' life, but to no purpose for God? Does God actually care whether we live four years or forty years after our salvation? Or is our life based not on longevity but on accomplishment? Maybe it is a combination of both? I wondered.
And this artificial extension of my life .... I have no fear of death for I have tried to be faithful my entire life to what I am told. Admittedly, I never expected to have lived this long after December 2011, so I have had to work through what do you do when all goes south, what do you do when nothing goes right, what do you do while you are waiting, what do you do when opportunity does not match expectation? And I have tried to find those answers to those issues and then share them in this blog - the short of it: you keep doing what you were told is right.
And no matter the circumstance, you just keep trucking, following the last set of orders, doing what it takes to remain faithful.
I guess I am writing this mostly because I no longer know what tomorrow holds. It is with faith alone I face a surgeon again shortly. Live or die, is of no consequence, for His work will continue, His goals will be met, with or without me. And that is totally awesome.
:)
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Touching The Void
I have been extremely disappointed to find that most of my old favorites in movies no longer have any attraction for me with this new personality developing within me. For instance, I find myself more attracted now to the photography than to the story line (old me). I am sure my children are rejoicing that I no longer view vampire movies anymore, but Godzilla still rules!
So, last night, I plugged in, Touching the Void. A disquieting movie because I used to be a climbing guide and it was the only place where I knew I belonged for very many years. And almost instantly, I was back on Longs Peak in Colorado, December 1975 .....
In the 1930's, the US Geodetic Survey was working on the mountain to determine the actual height of it (14,259'). Those men had to spend months up there, living in an area called Boulder Field and having to summit everyday. Well, it is a hard climb and so to ease their labors, they packed in about a thousand feet of steel cable to help them past the almost impossible part of the mountain's northern terrain. Those men hold the record for most ascents on the mountain.
However, outside of those men using cables to reach the summit, no one was able to beat my record I set in high school. I darn near matched those engineers. In some ways I have a little pride there because I did every route on the mountain, even creating a few new ones - and without using bolts to do so. If you are not a climber, none of this really matters to you. So, I digress...
It was bitterly cold day, easily -20 F. Not too bad for a Colorado winter's day. But, it was not until you went through the Keyhole that you would be whacked by the 60+ mile per hour winds that day. It was bitterly cold with that wind chill factor!
It was a little before noon when my climbing partner, Randy and I reached the Trough. A narrow chute in the granite of the mountain. Filled with snow and ice, it is a short slide before you are launched into the air for the rest of the 8,000 foot fall into the valley on the western side of the mountain. I had lost a climbing party here in 1973. One second they were there, the next they were gone, just that fast. I and the guy roped to me thought maybe they had turned back. Yeah, wishful thinking. Randy and I roped up and began the nerve wracking climb up the ice.
I had just reached the Notch, a break in the eastern face of Longs Peak when I heard Randy yell. He was falling in the chute! I was at the worse possible place to have this happen. In front of me, below the frozen snow cornice I stood on, was Chasm Lake 1,600 feet of air between us. Behind me was a falling Randy and 8,000 feet of air to the bottom.
I did the only thing I could do as I was jerked backwards, I swung my ice axe for all I was worth, hoping for a solid bite into the ice beneath the cornice. But, there was precious little space to swing that ice axe in and so as the pick slammed into the ice, the lower walking point I had been using up the chute, penetrated my leg and sunk solidly into the bone above my right knee.
At once, a thousand thoughts raced through my mind: the sudden pain as the leg was pierced and the sound of the bone splintering, the sharp impact as the rope went taunt and my leg was jerked free of the spear which had gone through it, the heavy grunt of my friend as he reached the end of the rope's stretch, the jerk of pain as my right shoulder separated being pulled out by the strap which held my wrist to the ice axe, then knowledge that we were dead.
There was nothing I could do to help Randy from where he hung. He had to get back on the ice himself; I was busy slamming my right shoulder on the rock wall hard enough to pop the arm back together, before it swelled up. It would be worthless now for trying to do anything with. I put weight on my right leg; exquisite pain. Randy was now up to me and apologizing for the fall, which was the least of our worries. Going back the way we came was out of the question, as the area known as the Narrows, a thin ledge of rock, would require strength in both of my legs. It was easily another 500 feet up the side of the mountain to reach the top. I knew the cables were still there, but after almost 50 years, what kind of shape would they be in? Would they hold our weight? Could I control my descent with only my left leg and arm, my weakest side? And could we even make it to the top? Randy would have to lead and he did not know this part of the mountain.
So, standing in the notch, buffeted by sixty mile an hour winds with a wind chill somewhere around -80 or lower, we asked God for a miracle. And Randy took the lead, with my guiding him on how to avoid the common mis-steps on that section of the mountain which had led to more than a few tragedies in the recent past. We summited about an hour later, it was a glorious day, but we had no time to enjoy the view, we had to get me down and we were now three hours from the car when on good legs. I theorized that if Randy could get me down to Jim's grove, a sheltered area, I could survive with my space blanket for a few hours while he went for help.
We crested the summit and found the upper cable to be in good shape. 1,700 feet below lay boulder field where the engineers had lived for months. With Randy belaying me, I slid to the first eyelet holding the cable to the mountain, then he joined me. I would slide to the next eyelet and so on, until we reached a point where he could stand and I could continue my slide down to a ledge wide enough to hop along. This was actually the easy part.
As we entered Boulder Field, those random rocks only hours ago we had hopped across in glee, now posed an almost insurmountable obstacle! No way around the rocks, no way to now jump from rock to rock and no way Randy would be able to carry me. My right leg had been completely numb since starting the descent and my right shoulder robbed me from any grip with my strong hand. I knew the femur was broken to some extent and I counted it a blessing I could not feel anything. It had been excruciating making it the 500 feet to the summit from the accident point. Four miles to the car and only Randy's good will to rely on in order to make it just to Jim's Grove, maybe a mile and a half more, and I could curl up into a ball and whimper. God how I needed something for my shoulder!
With Randy helping me move gingerly from rock to rock, we made it past Boulder Field. We were at the juncture; turn right and bivouac in Jim's Grove or go straight. The official trail wanders around through the trees for miles and would take Randy hours to traverse, or if Randy could be my crutch, I remembered the route used to run the telegraph line up to Boulder Field from the base of the trail. It would be hazardous for me due to the terrain and ice but this could save Randy literally hours and maybe my life. Randy was game to try.
We made it back to the car about 6:00 pm. I limped to the car, threw my gear in the Duster's trunk and then pulled my pants and Duco leggings off. I expected to see blood and lots of it but there was nothing other than a blackened square hole in my leg and a very wobbly bone underneath. Yeah, we thanked God for getting us back to the car. If bone chips and frostbite were all I was going to suffer above the knee, then awesome!
As we drove back to Denver, my leg began to thaw out and the pain began to come in waves. I splinted it while Randy drove and thanked God again for even being alive.
As the movie drew to a close, I felt so sorry for that man whom had to crawl five miles out, after having been left for dead by his climbing partner, and having survived a horrible fall! I could relate to a well told story, I could still feel the truth in their words. I understood their viewpoints, but I also recognized that what separated us was that Randy and I were both Christians and therefore you sometimes need to take a risk, to make a sacrifice to save a brother (or sister, or even the lost!).
I am not saying that what happened on that mountain face in Peru would have been any different, were they Christians, but neither of them seem to have seen or found God through it, when He was so plainly evident in what did happen in the story. There are no coincidences in life.....
Language is a little rough in spots in the movie, and though I consider it a must own because of my own similar experience, it has some real lessons in it concerning the nature of man, the triumph of the will, and the need for God by every person - particularly before you are facing your maker in an icy tomb .....
Rent it. Sorry no girls, death, machine guns or explosions, just a real life story of survival and the nature of natural man.
Now for the rest of the story:
Back home, of course I had to go to the hospital. A tetanus shot, some work for the frostbite at the wound site and a better splint helped a great deal. Unfortunately, this was followed by blood poisoning and I almost lost the leg, however God came through.... :)
So, last night, I plugged in, Touching the Void. A disquieting movie because I used to be a climbing guide and it was the only place where I knew I belonged for very many years. And almost instantly, I was back on Longs Peak in Colorado, December 1975 .....
However, outside of those men using cables to reach the summit, no one was able to beat my record I set in high school. I darn near matched those engineers. In some ways I have a little pride there because I did every route on the mountain, even creating a few new ones - and without using bolts to do so. If you are not a climber, none of this really matters to you. So, I digress...
It was bitterly cold day, easily -20 F. Not too bad for a Colorado winter's day. But, it was not until you went through the Keyhole that you would be whacked by the 60+ mile per hour winds that day. It was bitterly cold with that wind chill factor!It was a little before noon when my climbing partner, Randy and I reached the Trough. A narrow chute in the granite of the mountain. Filled with snow and ice, it is a short slide before you are launched into the air for the rest of the 8,000 foot fall into the valley on the western side of the mountain. I had lost a climbing party here in 1973. One second they were there, the next they were gone, just that fast. I and the guy roped to me thought maybe they had turned back. Yeah, wishful thinking. Randy and I roped up and began the nerve wracking climb up the ice.
I did the only thing I could do as I was jerked backwards, I swung my ice axe for all I was worth, hoping for a solid bite into the ice beneath the cornice. But, there was precious little space to swing that ice axe in and so as the pick slammed into the ice, the lower walking point I had been using up the chute, penetrated my leg and sunk solidly into the bone above my right knee.
At once, a thousand thoughts raced through my mind: the sudden pain as the leg was pierced and the sound of the bone splintering, the sharp impact as the rope went taunt and my leg was jerked free of the spear which had gone through it, the heavy grunt of my friend as he reached the end of the rope's stretch, the jerk of pain as my right shoulder separated being pulled out by the strap which held my wrist to the ice axe, then knowledge that we were dead.
There was nothing I could do to help Randy from where he hung. He had to get back on the ice himself; I was busy slamming my right shoulder on the rock wall hard enough to pop the arm back together, before it swelled up. It would be worthless now for trying to do anything with. I put weight on my right leg; exquisite pain. Randy was now up to me and apologizing for the fall, which was the least of our worries. Going back the way we came was out of the question, as the area known as the Narrows, a thin ledge of rock, would require strength in both of my legs. It was easily another 500 feet up the side of the mountain to reach the top. I knew the cables were still there, but after almost 50 years, what kind of shape would they be in? Would they hold our weight? Could I control my descent with only my left leg and arm, my weakest side? And could we even make it to the top? Randy would have to lead and he did not know this part of the mountain.
So, standing in the notch, buffeted by sixty mile an hour winds with a wind chill somewhere around -80 or lower, we asked God for a miracle. And Randy took the lead, with my guiding him on how to avoid the common mis-steps on that section of the mountain which had led to more than a few tragedies in the recent past. We summited about an hour later, it was a glorious day, but we had no time to enjoy the view, we had to get me down and we were now three hours from the car when on good legs. I theorized that if Randy could get me down to Jim's grove, a sheltered area, I could survive with my space blanket for a few hours while he went for help.
As we entered Boulder Field, those random rocks only hours ago we had hopped across in glee, now posed an almost insurmountable obstacle! No way around the rocks, no way to now jump from rock to rock and no way Randy would be able to carry me. My right leg had been completely numb since starting the descent and my right shoulder robbed me from any grip with my strong hand. I knew the femur was broken to some extent and I counted it a blessing I could not feel anything. It had been excruciating making it the 500 feet to the summit from the accident point. Four miles to the car and only Randy's good will to rely on in order to make it just to Jim's Grove, maybe a mile and a half more, and I could curl up into a ball and whimper. God how I needed something for my shoulder!
With Randy helping me move gingerly from rock to rock, we made it past Boulder Field. We were at the juncture; turn right and bivouac in Jim's Grove or go straight. The official trail wanders around through the trees for miles and would take Randy hours to traverse, or if Randy could be my crutch, I remembered the route used to run the telegraph line up to Boulder Field from the base of the trail. It would be hazardous for me due to the terrain and ice but this could save Randy literally hours and maybe my life. Randy was game to try.
We made it back to the car about 6:00 pm. I limped to the car, threw my gear in the Duster's trunk and then pulled my pants and Duco leggings off. I expected to see blood and lots of it but there was nothing other than a blackened square hole in my leg and a very wobbly bone underneath. Yeah, we thanked God for getting us back to the car. If bone chips and frostbite were all I was going to suffer above the knee, then awesome!
As we drove back to Denver, my leg began to thaw out and the pain began to come in waves. I splinted it while Randy drove and thanked God again for even being alive.
As the movie drew to a close, I felt so sorry for that man whom had to crawl five miles out, after having been left for dead by his climbing partner, and having survived a horrible fall! I could relate to a well told story, I could still feel the truth in their words. I understood their viewpoints, but I also recognized that what separated us was that Randy and I were both Christians and therefore you sometimes need to take a risk, to make a sacrifice to save a brother (or sister, or even the lost!).
I am not saying that what happened on that mountain face in Peru would have been any different, were they Christians, but neither of them seem to have seen or found God through it, when He was so plainly evident in what did happen in the story. There are no coincidences in life.....
Language is a little rough in spots in the movie, and though I consider it a must own because of my own similar experience, it has some real lessons in it concerning the nature of man, the triumph of the will, and the need for God by every person - particularly before you are facing your maker in an icy tomb .....
Rent it. Sorry no girls, death, machine guns or explosions, just a real life story of survival and the nature of natural man.
Now for the rest of the story:
Back home, of course I had to go to the hospital. A tetanus shot, some work for the frostbite at the wound site and a better splint helped a great deal. Unfortunately, this was followed by blood poisoning and I almost lost the leg, however God came through.... :)
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Emotional Survey
Pretty much all you have read for the past six days was written last Monday, I had been foretold to expect change and so I did all of my little tasks and waited.
No one of us could have guessed that Edvard would be taken home that very afternoon, a week later I still sit here stunned. It is a mute point to use platitudes such as he is in a better place - yes, he is. But.....
So, Monday - Aunt Elly has a major stroke
an hour later Ed drops dead.
I actually have no emotional response to either incident.
Tuesday - a woman drop dead right in front of me on my walk, she was gone before she hit the ground.
again, no emotional response.
Wednesday - I posted my good bye to Gaelic Girl, and mourned the death within me.
Thursday - my friend was having problems.
Friday - Edvard's funeral, a hard time for the little family remaining.
Saturday - Swedish Rocket Scientist called me first thing to give me a piece of his mind concerning GG's departure.
I know he is suffering his brother's loss and lashing out at those closest. His words still stung.
I also know of his multi-decade attraction to her. (darn discernment!)
Sunday - God gave me an idea of how to help my friend, you will get to see it tomorrow on this same Bat Channel.
Monday - my first nightmare ever.
I set aside some time to help my friend and commit to do so long term.
Across seven days, I have encountered these emotions for the first time:
I was a genetic sociopath, given a emotion last May, which it took me three weeks to lock away. It re-appeared in December, this time as a mature calming influence and I have operated with both natures since then, up until Wednesday, when emotional me had to be in control as GG left my life. Bullet to the brain I tell you. And if my very nature has been changed, then does that mean my genetics have as well? We will know in two weeks, when a test i had done at the hospital today shows yeah or nay on that one. I stand ready to be amazed....
So, change continues to be in the air and honestly I have no clue where anything ends up anymore. Oh yeah, God is still talking to me and telling me what to do, and I obey, but I am now satisfied to not need explanations from Him any-longer. And so, I wondered, does this new nature still have the gifts, God has given me? In the past it was thought this was to protect me. So? And yes, they are still there, quietly guiding, quietly supporting, through a work of much delicacy I am performing. Will they now continue to guide and protect? I am interested to see and to know.
To my long term readers, welcome to my new world, where nothing is as it seems ..... and faith is the only stepping stone forward. I really wish I could see 1, 2 and 3 years ahead, it would make all so much easier for me to know how to turn, how to lead, how to follow, what to do with absolute authority.
Welcome to humanity Kris, you seem to have arrived.....
Yeah, anxiety mixed with just a touch of fear.
No one of us could have guessed that Edvard would be taken home that very afternoon, a week later I still sit here stunned. It is a mute point to use platitudes such as he is in a better place - yes, he is. But.....
So, Monday - Aunt Elly has a major stroke
an hour later Ed drops dead.
I actually have no emotional response to either incident.
Tuesday - a woman drop dead right in front of me on my walk, she was gone before she hit the ground.
again, no emotional response.
Wednesday - I posted my good bye to Gaelic Girl, and mourned the death within me.
Thursday - my friend was having problems.
Friday - Edvard's funeral, a hard time for the little family remaining.
Saturday - Swedish Rocket Scientist called me first thing to give me a piece of his mind concerning GG's departure.
I know he is suffering his brother's loss and lashing out at those closest. His words still stung.
I also know of his multi-decade attraction to her. (darn discernment!)
Sunday - God gave me an idea of how to help my friend, you will get to see it tomorrow on this same Bat Channel.
Monday - my first nightmare ever.
I set aside some time to help my friend and commit to do so long term.
Across seven days, I have encountered these emotions for the first time:
- Anger
- Compassion
- Fear
- Joy
- Loss
- Need
- Pain
- Remorse
- Resentment
I was a genetic sociopath, given a emotion last May, which it took me three weeks to lock away. It re-appeared in December, this time as a mature calming influence and I have operated with both natures since then, up until Wednesday, when emotional me had to be in control as GG left my life. Bullet to the brain I tell you. And if my very nature has been changed, then does that mean my genetics have as well? We will know in two weeks, when a test i had done at the hospital today shows yeah or nay on that one. I stand ready to be amazed....
So, change continues to be in the air and honestly I have no clue where anything ends up anymore. Oh yeah, God is still talking to me and telling me what to do, and I obey, but I am now satisfied to not need explanations from Him any-longer. And so, I wondered, does this new nature still have the gifts, God has given me? In the past it was thought this was to protect me. So? And yes, they are still there, quietly guiding, quietly supporting, through a work of much delicacy I am performing. Will they now continue to guide and protect? I am interested to see and to know.
To my long term readers, welcome to my new world, where nothing is as it seems ..... and faith is the only stepping stone forward. I really wish I could see 1, 2 and 3 years ahead, it would make all so much easier for me to know how to turn, how to lead, how to follow, what to do with absolute authority.
Welcome to humanity Kris, you seem to have arrived.....
Yeah, anxiety mixed with just a touch of fear.
Monday, March 11, 2013
God Has Your Back
Continuing my series on God's enabling you to be His hands and feet in this world, in spite of whom you are or what you are capable of.
John 1:14-18
Yes, if you have not noticed, I love the book of John. John has a way of speaking to me like no other of the Gospel writers. I an identify with him and his passion, I can identify with him in his failures, so when he says something - I listen!
God's Son equips you.
"Glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth."
God's grace enables you.
To approach God. Hebrews 4:16
To be content. 2 Corinthians 12:9
To say no to ungodliness. Titus 2:11-12
To say no to sin. Romans 6:15-16
God's truth empowers you.
To know for sure. John 14:6
"and from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace"
The point here is that God will provide what is needed for the situations He puts you in and what He expects of you. One of my ways of always knowing if I have failed Him or am not listening. So far, He has blessed me bountifully! To such an extent that I can not fully grasp what He is indeed up to in my future. But, I suspect it is another ministry, building upon my past as a teacher and a concern for the lost...... Although certainly God can bless us with running cars (I sort of broke GG's), shelter (I temporarily have with GG), other physical stuff (who really cares?), friends (I have discovered true gold in mine), peace (through a war zone), etc. Yeah, as I have said before, the natural man sees disaster, but I see blessings and riches that natural man can not fathom. Thank you Lord.....
John 1:14-18
Yes, if you have not noticed, I love the book of John. John has a way of speaking to me like no other of the Gospel writers. I an identify with him and his passion, I can identify with him in his failures, so when he says something - I listen!
God's Son equips you.
"Glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth."
God's grace enables you.
To approach God. Hebrews 4:16
To be content. 2 Corinthians 12:9
To say no to ungodliness. Titus 2:11-12
To say no to sin. Romans 6:15-16
God's truth empowers you.
To know for sure. John 14:6
- Know your source of truth!
- "Fallacy does not cease to be fallacy just because it becomes fancy" Chesterton
- To do His will without concern of cost
- In the moment you are in, at the time your are in need of empowerment!
"and from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace"
The point here is that God will provide what is needed for the situations He puts you in and what He expects of you. One of my ways of always knowing if I have failed Him or am not listening. So far, He has blessed me bountifully! To such an extent that I can not fully grasp what He is indeed up to in my future. But, I suspect it is another ministry, building upon my past as a teacher and a concern for the lost...... Although certainly God can bless us with running cars (I sort of broke GG's), shelter (I temporarily have with GG), other physical stuff (who really cares?), friends (I have discovered true gold in mine), peace (through a war zone), etc. Yeah, as I have said before, the natural man sees disaster, but I see blessings and riches that natural man can not fathom. Thank you Lord.....
Friday, February 1, 2013
Normal, One Day?
Since last May, I have gone from no emotion ever, to God seeing fit to give me one - a miracle no one could ever have envisioned to have occurred. It took me three weeks to master it and lock it up tight. But, God can be very, very persistent - especially when there might have been a reason for it in the first place.
There were momentary escapes by said emotion until the end of December, when as misfortune would have it, God saw fit to block my ability to cage or ignore it any longer - I was going to have to learn to deal with it. It was set free, only now there was a noted change - no longer raw, no longer overcoming, it had mellowed, matured, it was warm, and personally very frightening.
I find now that I am like a computer with twin operating systems. One is the old me - inhuman in my detachment. The other this mellow, feeling creature. And I have the ability to over ride it, if need be. To switch on, to switch off at will but never to abandon for long it seems .....
I sit at one month of pseudo-normalcy. I can understand now where once Gaelic Girl was in her emotions, I never could have known, thirty-five years too late it seems. It has shown me the real problem with my self-estranged sister in the Lord. I never could have understood. It took my Niece to help me to know, to understand and then see / understand / experience compassion. A few extremely horrible days in there. Emotion sucks. Yet, were it not for it, I would never have learned that there was someone whom trusted me far more than I could know. Emotion ..... a quandary.
And I wonder, will I one day be normal? Is that blooming emotion going to one day fully control me? Will I finally be human one day? And to what purpose? Will this be a blessing or a curse? Am I going to end up a liberal? Will it be something that is required for me to be able to do some task in the future? How can having an emotion make whatever lay ahead easier? I trust cold - calculating Kris, it is the emotional one I see as being less effective and far more dangerous to me personally.....
Lots of questions, no answers, maybe ten years from now in hindsight I will know the whys and wherefores of this. But not today.
To my Niece and dear friend, thank you - for your patient willingness to help me see, to learn, to understand. You are awesome. You did not have to, but you chose to, very much I am blessed.
And this in the midst of continuing to see all eroded away from me. In my mind's eye I see a Kris, left with nothing that anyone would call precious, my very name a curse to those whom once knew me, but even if alone - healed through a miracle, blessed by God and an unknown future calling me away to paint far away places and ..... ?
There were momentary escapes by said emotion until the end of December, when as misfortune would have it, God saw fit to block my ability to cage or ignore it any longer - I was going to have to learn to deal with it. It was set free, only now there was a noted change - no longer raw, no longer overcoming, it had mellowed, matured, it was warm, and personally very frightening.
I find now that I am like a computer with twin operating systems. One is the old me - inhuman in my detachment. The other this mellow, feeling creature. And I have the ability to over ride it, if need be. To switch on, to switch off at will but never to abandon for long it seems .....
I sit at one month of pseudo-normalcy. I can understand now where once Gaelic Girl was in her emotions, I never could have known, thirty-five years too late it seems. It has shown me the real problem with my self-estranged sister in the Lord. I never could have understood. It took my Niece to help me to know, to understand and then see / understand / experience compassion. A few extremely horrible days in there. Emotion sucks. Yet, were it not for it, I would never have learned that there was someone whom trusted me far more than I could know. Emotion ..... a quandary.
And I wonder, will I one day be normal? Is that blooming emotion going to one day fully control me? Will I finally be human one day? And to what purpose? Will this be a blessing or a curse? Am I going to end up a liberal? Will it be something that is required for me to be able to do some task in the future? How can having an emotion make whatever lay ahead easier? I trust cold - calculating Kris, it is the emotional one I see as being less effective and far more dangerous to me personally.....
Lots of questions, no answers, maybe ten years from now in hindsight I will know the whys and wherefores of this. But not today.
To my Niece and dear friend, thank you - for your patient willingness to help me see, to learn, to understand. You are awesome. You did not have to, but you chose to, very much I am blessed.
And this in the midst of continuing to see all eroded away from me. In my mind's eye I see a Kris, left with nothing that anyone would call precious, my very name a curse to those whom once knew me, but even if alone - healed through a miracle, blessed by God and an unknown future calling me away to paint far away places and ..... ?
Monday, August 20, 2012
Missed By .071 Seconds!
With the Summer Olympics having wound down, it is amazing to see how sometimes just a fraction of a second is all that separated a gold medal winner from the rest of the pack!
For the purposes of my educational grant, I have to drive to the local community college and file paperwork every week with the sponsors. Sort of a pain since the school is about 20 miles away and the car gets 13 mpg.....
So, I left the school and drove to Albertsons for some groceries. When I got out of the car - viola!, a bullet hole in the driver's rear door! Yeah, someone took a shot at me!
Now I never heard the impact, but then I tend to listen to the radio while I drive plus the air conditioner was on due to the horrible heat we had last week. Yeah, I am a heat wimp.
This seems to fit well with a week in which my daughter, having dodged me all week, was to return home with her mother. I have found that seven women, most whom were never my friend on FaceBook, have blocked me. And I get the strangeous of reactions from women now at church. Yeah, daughter and her mother were up to something and it obvious was not godly in character - nor true. So a hard week as it was and now this?
How close did I come to being hit by the bullet? Well, it was a 9mm and it hit 14" behind me. The road has a 35 mph speed limit and I generally drive right at the speed limit. If my calculations are correct, the difference between the bullet hitting me, or not, was only .071 seconds!
So though it seems my daughter and her mother wish me ill, someone else wishes me dead, and God saved this old German by the hair of his chinny-chin-chin! Yes, God is blessing me and caring for me. And to my detractors, if you want any other proof of my innocence - well God seems to continue to protect me and bless me, in spite of what ever slander is going around.
Sigh.
For the purposes of my educational grant, I have to drive to the local community college and file paperwork every week with the sponsors. Sort of a pain since the school is about 20 miles away and the car gets 13 mpg.....
So, I left the school and drove to Albertsons for some groceries. When I got out of the car - viola!, a bullet hole in the driver's rear door! Yeah, someone took a shot at me!
Now I never heard the impact, but then I tend to listen to the radio while I drive plus the air conditioner was on due to the horrible heat we had last week. Yeah, I am a heat wimp.
This seems to fit well with a week in which my daughter, having dodged me all week, was to return home with her mother. I have found that seven women, most whom were never my friend on FaceBook, have blocked me. And I get the strangeous of reactions from women now at church. Yeah, daughter and her mother were up to something and it obvious was not godly in character - nor true. So a hard week as it was and now this?
How close did I come to being hit by the bullet? Well, it was a 9mm and it hit 14" behind me. The road has a 35 mph speed limit and I generally drive right at the speed limit. If my calculations are correct, the difference between the bullet hitting me, or not, was only .071 seconds!
So though it seems my daughter and her mother wish me ill, someone else wishes me dead, and God saved this old German by the hair of his chinny-chin-chin! Yes, God is blessing me and caring for me. And to my detractors, if you want any other proof of my innocence - well God seems to continue to protect me and bless me, in spite of what ever slander is going around.
Sigh.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
The Blessings of Service
As I was driving home last night, God got me thinking about what composed the last few months and the wonders I experienced. Of course, daughter discounts all of this now, even though she witnessed all and knows all. That is why I can not understand her current behavior in light of what she knows versus what she says she wants.....
I guess the real surprise was God asking me to do something. Yeah, I live my life to be of service to Him, but nothing really meaningful ever really seems to come about. Lots of little silent things but never something big like - pursue and change a life! I did not expect much in the way of success. But I am game for most any task. And given I had already been given my walking paper from life by numerous doctors, 30 to 90 days max and that would have been with a miracle as it was. If God wants one more assignment out of me, cool - not a problem. And He used me as I have never seen Him do before.
Nine months later, I am still alive, though my life is now dead - the personal cost of service stripped me of almost everything. Which is fine, I would do it all again, having seen what I have and knowing my daughter is now within the realm of God and not dead to sin as she was.
And God performed so many miracles. When they began, i realized instantly God really was calling her and provided so much evidence she never would be able to discount it was not God behind this effort. Of course, from my perspective the greatest and the most tragic was - God gave a genetic sociopath an emotion. Since only maybe .0025% of the population can understand what the absence of emotion really means in your life - I was devastated by what happened to me. It brought joy, it brought pain, it was the death of me as I knew myself. Yeah, things like this do not happen. And so daughter's betrayal could only hurt me if I had an emotion - and since I now did, a three week old emotion took the hit. For now, little is left of it. I know that I have no ability to recall it, I know God does. I know that it is of God and bears His mark for my daughter. It is like it was programmed to only react to her. So weird.
I prayed over a friend with an arm set for amputation, after months of not healing and it did have to come off - it was rotting! God granted that prayer and healed that arm. No, it is not yet 100% but that swollen arm began shrinking immediately and she moved a finger for the first time in months that morning. Doctors are clueless, but daughter was there and she and I know God worked a miracle that morning.
There were other healings: for daughter, a swollen and twisted ankle healed instantly and I have to admit I was a little freaked watching that swelling melt away like butter. Numerous healings, so many for me that she was constantly commenting on how this just did not make sense. Yeah, I get injured a lot, so God heals once prayed for - others - well, I get to enjoy their healing to the fullness of time, sigh. Miracle ones - third degree burns vanish, gangrene healed, a six inch hernia - poof! gone! And there were so many daily that time does not permit all I could share.
The healings were impressive but it was the thousands of small things, everyday that God overcame, through prayer that really was noticed. However, the ones I really sought - never happened - acceptance of daughter by my family and Gaelic Girl - water and oil all of them. Though it was a miracle in itself that we even had opportunities for each other so she could grow.
Then there were changes within me which completely modified me. None of them I understand, all of them worry me. The emotion was only the most mysterious, I am still a little frightened by what the others mean.
Daughter was extremely damaged, I knew this about her since she was a child of 8, but I could not understand where this damage leads and what it does to a person internally. Because of daughter I now do understand and unfortunately I can now "spot" those whom share her brokenness. No, I have no calling to intervene in another life, as I did with her. I am not sure if that is right or wrong, but I do know that God has ordered me to wait upon Him and what He is going to do with daughter. And that is fine, but she sure is not going to think so.....
Well, I wear down easily and so must now rest....
I guess the real surprise was God asking me to do something. Yeah, I live my life to be of service to Him, but nothing really meaningful ever really seems to come about. Lots of little silent things but never something big like - pursue and change a life! I did not expect much in the way of success. But I am game for most any task. And given I had already been given my walking paper from life by numerous doctors, 30 to 90 days max and that would have been with a miracle as it was. If God wants one more assignment out of me, cool - not a problem. And He used me as I have never seen Him do before.
Nine months later, I am still alive, though my life is now dead - the personal cost of service stripped me of almost everything. Which is fine, I would do it all again, having seen what I have and knowing my daughter is now within the realm of God and not dead to sin as she was.
And God performed so many miracles. When they began, i realized instantly God really was calling her and provided so much evidence she never would be able to discount it was not God behind this effort. Of course, from my perspective the greatest and the most tragic was - God gave a genetic sociopath an emotion. Since only maybe .0025% of the population can understand what the absence of emotion really means in your life - I was devastated by what happened to me. It brought joy, it brought pain, it was the death of me as I knew myself. Yeah, things like this do not happen. And so daughter's betrayal could only hurt me if I had an emotion - and since I now did, a three week old emotion took the hit. For now, little is left of it. I know that I have no ability to recall it, I know God does. I know that it is of God and bears His mark for my daughter. It is like it was programmed to only react to her. So weird.
I prayed over a friend with an arm set for amputation, after months of not healing and it did have to come off - it was rotting! God granted that prayer and healed that arm. No, it is not yet 100% but that swollen arm began shrinking immediately and she moved a finger for the first time in months that morning. Doctors are clueless, but daughter was there and she and I know God worked a miracle that morning.
There were other healings: for daughter, a swollen and twisted ankle healed instantly and I have to admit I was a little freaked watching that swelling melt away like butter. Numerous healings, so many for me that she was constantly commenting on how this just did not make sense. Yeah, I get injured a lot, so God heals once prayed for - others - well, I get to enjoy their healing to the fullness of time, sigh. Miracle ones - third degree burns vanish, gangrene healed, a six inch hernia - poof! gone! And there were so many daily that time does not permit all I could share.
The healings were impressive but it was the thousands of small things, everyday that God overcame, through prayer that really was noticed. However, the ones I really sought - never happened - acceptance of daughter by my family and Gaelic Girl - water and oil all of them. Though it was a miracle in itself that we even had opportunities for each other so she could grow.
Then there were changes within me which completely modified me. None of them I understand, all of them worry me. The emotion was only the most mysterious, I am still a little frightened by what the others mean.
Daughter was extremely damaged, I knew this about her since she was a child of 8, but I could not understand where this damage leads and what it does to a person internally. Because of daughter I now do understand and unfortunately I can now "spot" those whom share her brokenness. No, I have no calling to intervene in another life, as I did with her. I am not sure if that is right or wrong, but I do know that God has ordered me to wait upon Him and what He is going to do with daughter. And that is fine, but she sure is not going to think so.....
Well, I wear down easily and so must now rest....
Monday, August 13, 2012
What The Heck?
I had recently blogged that I question all things supernatural. And that brought an immediate response from Blog-landia: "How can you even question things of the Lord! The Holy Spirit and His angels minister to us, it is dangerous to question them and not just obey."
Well, valid question and the answer comes from a lifetime of dealing in spiritual warfare to reclaim "my kids" from the messes they get themselves naively in. What follows is a perfect example of just my reason for testing all things!
I am writing this on Sunday afternoon, about 3:30, as I am not exactly sure what to make of something. I will set the publication date for late on Monday as I am not exactly sure ..... well I already said that didn't I? But, I will have a chance to edit this further once I know more - it will make a good post either way.
So, I am sitting here working on my computer, doing last minute homework on a research paper due tomorrow and I noticed that I started to nod off. And voices woke me up, multiple voices as if in a conversation. I looked around but no one else is in the house and no radios or tv were on. What the heck? Maybe a car going by?
So, I settled back down and again it happened. Just a brief blast of conversation like someone turning the dial on their radio (dated myself, eh?). I am fully awake this time, in fact in prayer about what just happened! But, I can not make out the words. And yes I am getting freaked out. Am I turning into my grandmother? Am I ready to start wrapping tin foil around my head so that those in the flying saucers can no longer talk to me? Twilight Zone theme music, please.....
Then it happened a third time, faster than a flash, a being appears next to me, puts it face right in front of mine and says, "They are coming home!", expressed as such a great joy. No, I am not asleep, I was typing on my computer, slowly wondering if I had a metal dental filling going bad! That can cause radio reception I remember.
AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
What the heck was that?!?!?!?!? Did it say "they" or "we", or what the heck? What the heck does this mean?
So, whom is coming home? No idea. What is the time frame? No idea. Am I going to drop dead? (super cool if true!)
As for saying goodbyes, well those I love always get an "I love you" as the last thing I ever say to them. So, that base is covered. People I do not know personally, like Kelly, Cathy, Robin, Rissa, Jim - you all saw me through a very dark time in my life and I look forward to seeing each of you on the other side..... Of course that is true whether this weirdness was for me or not! Five minute or Five Years from now! Of course, Kelly could be a better friend and accept my friend request on FB - from a year ago!, just a hint.....
If posting stops on Wednesday, I usually write most of my posts on Sunday and am on Wednesday currently, well then you know it was me or I will let you know what it was! Oh, Lord, if only it is my daughter returning! Such joy this would be!
Well, valid question and the answer comes from a lifetime of dealing in spiritual warfare to reclaim "my kids" from the messes they get themselves naively in. What follows is a perfect example of just my reason for testing all things!
#####
I am writing this on Sunday afternoon, about 3:30, as I am not exactly sure what to make of something. I will set the publication date for late on Monday as I am not exactly sure ..... well I already said that didn't I? But, I will have a chance to edit this further once I know more - it will make a good post either way.
So, I am sitting here working on my computer, doing last minute homework on a research paper due tomorrow and I noticed that I started to nod off. And voices woke me up, multiple voices as if in a conversation. I looked around but no one else is in the house and no radios or tv were on. What the heck? Maybe a car going by?
So, I settled back down and again it happened. Just a brief blast of conversation like someone turning the dial on their radio (dated myself, eh?). I am fully awake this time, in fact in prayer about what just happened! But, I can not make out the words. And yes I am getting freaked out. Am I turning into my grandmother? Am I ready to start wrapping tin foil around my head so that those in the flying saucers can no longer talk to me? Twilight Zone theme music, please.....
Then it happened a third time, faster than a flash, a being appears next to me, puts it face right in front of mine and says, "They are coming home!", expressed as such a great joy. No, I am not asleep, I was typing on my computer, slowly wondering if I had a metal dental filling going bad! That can cause radio reception I remember.
AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
What the heck was that?!?!?!?!? Did it say "they" or "we", or what the heck? What the heck does this mean?
So, whom is coming home? No idea. What is the time frame? No idea. Am I going to drop dead? (super cool if true!)
As for saying goodbyes, well those I love always get an "I love you" as the last thing I ever say to them. So, that base is covered. People I do not know personally, like Kelly, Cathy, Robin, Rissa, Jim - you all saw me through a very dark time in my life and I look forward to seeing each of you on the other side..... Of course that is true whether this weirdness was for me or not! Five minute or Five Years from now! Of course, Kelly could be a better friend and accept my friend request on FB - from a year ago!, just a hint.....
If posting stops on Wednesday, I usually write most of my posts on Sunday and am on Wednesday currently, well then you know it was me or I will let you know what it was! Oh, Lord, if only it is my daughter returning! Such joy this would be!
*****
Well, I did not die, yet anyway. Daughter did not return home or even bother to look up her broken father. So, I am clueless as to what happened on Sunday.
So, I think you can see the point of trying all things of a supernatural nature. One of the reasons American Christianity if rift with superstition in the lack of testing all spirits.
Obviously, this was demonic, if nothing happens quite soon. And me and God will again be addressing exactly whom is in control of this house and this family - Satan wins far too many battles against my family. He just obstructs my life through injuries. But, in time, I will win this war - my Bible tells me so.....
So, I think you can see the point of trying all things of a supernatural nature. One of the reasons American Christianity if rift with superstition in the lack of testing all spirits.
Obviously, this was demonic, if nothing happens quite soon. And me and God will again be addressing exactly whom is in control of this house and this family - Satan wins far too many battles against my family. He just obstructs my life through injuries. But, in time, I will win this war - my Bible tells me so.....
Friday, April 27, 2012
The Three Christians
So, three Christians walk into a bar.... LOL, no I am not going to tell a joke but it sure seemed a fitting opening! But, seriously:
Have you ever noticed that there seems to be three kinds of Christians?
There are the "God is so good, He gives me everything I want." type.
There are the "Yeah, so what has He done for me today?" types.
And the much rarer, we will just call them the "Involved" ones.
With the spread of the prosperity doctrine, havoc has been brought to the Charisma circles, leaked out and captivated the faith of the weak children. Woe to those preachers whom have so willingly and easily mislead the multitudes....... Of course, these are sheep whom have used the belief that God blesses you and gives you what you want. Really? It must be my Luther Bible, it just does not support that idea. In fact, mine condemns materialism and the accumulation of what you are making your replacement God. No, God is not in the idol making business and He does not need you to have riches for you to use on yourself - my Bible says He wants your obedience above all else, in all things. So rich young rulers, praise the living God and mourn your poverty.
Others are more interesting to me. Everyone can see God's active hand in their life but they do not. In fact, where is that God? "Yeah, I know he was around here yesterday but what about today?" Oh He is still there working in the background but you can not see Him because it is you He is working on! No, I am not thinking of anyone in particular here because this is a common problem with all of us. God gets active and we still see ourselves as how we used to be - or with subtle changes incorporated, but never as the whole person everyone else sees. Of course, in our culture of rapid expectations, we tend to lose sight of any activity which takes over 30 minutes. Where is that God? Right beside you. What has He done lately for me? Well, you are still alive for starters........... Best get to thanking Him for each breath cause those depend upon Him as well.
Of course, I saved the best for last - the one I really wanted to talk about, our involved Christian. Oh, I know you are already forming opinions as to what I am going to be saying, so let me throw you off the track by reading John 11:38-44.
1) Let us start off by getting God out of your box you have put Him in. We are all guilty of saying that God only works in such and such a way. Or He is capable of doing anything, except...... (fill in the blank). That is putting God in a box. Yeah, we take Him out, dust Him off occasionally and then hit Him with our never ending shopping list of wants and desires. Even I am guilty here, because of my "knowledge" of how God works, I could not allow for what God had planned for me to do - it took quite a large bat, over the head, for me to understand that the God of creation and the universe was completely capable of telling me to not only become completely vulnerable, but to put at risk everything I prize, to accomplish His goal. Whoa! Do you understand what I just said? God demanded that I put at risk my sunday school teaching, my witness, what people think of me, even my own family - in order to be obedient.
Now switch back to our passage and think of Martha here. Her brother is dead, her brother is rotting in the grave, Jesus could have saved him but was just too late. And now what? Martha believes in the resurrection, but she knows that it will not come - yet. Is anything too hard for Jesus? Yes, when you really do not understand that He is God..... Read: Genesis 18:14, Jeremiah 32:27 and Ephesians 5:20 as you consider this.
2) So Jesus told them to roll away the rock which was sealing the tomb. Hold your breath here, this is really going to stink! I suspect that no one was really in favor of this idea. First off, it was going to be a major problem. Graves were unclean, dead bodies were unclean, either would contaminate your body so that you were banded from attending Synagog! And a devote Jew would not wish that, nor the cleaning process so you could attend a week later! Next up, who wants to smell a rotting corpse? Certainly Martha did not want the tomb opened, to be reminded of the state of her dead brother, to relive the pain of his death all over again. No just leave it shut.
But Jesus was so insistent.....
3) The stone is rolled away. Was there the smell of rot? Probably. Was Lazarus reclined and wanting a lite beer? No, he was quite dead. And Jesus calls him out.....
Believe
You will see
God's Glory
Miriam and Martha got joy.
4) Those whom remained were to witness the resurrection of life to Lazarus' body. But, in order to witness this event, they had to PARTICIPATE in the event.
They had to overcome their religious tenants.
They had to roll away the stone.
They had to unwrap Lazarus from his shrouds!
Just think about the converse here. The village people could not overcome their tradition and touch a grave, so the stone stayed in place. The people could not come to have the faith in Jesus it would take to be a participant in this miracle. Instead they took up stones and beat Jesus and the slow running disciples to death..... Yeah, not so far fetched as you might think.
We fail because we do not participate.
We fail because we can not let go of our tradition.
We fail because we want to fix people before they are actually alive.
We fail because we abandon the living and hope they make it on their own.
It takes lots of patience to help others.
It takes real love to be willing to pour yourself into another, without thought of "payback".
It takes a miracle for you to be vulnerable and at risk for another.
It takes a miracle for everything to come together for God to work.
It takes only your willingness to be used, to change the future of others.....
So, what is the big idea here? God wants to involve you in what He is doing for others, so get involved!
Have you ever noticed that there seems to be three kinds of Christians?
There are the "God is so good, He gives me everything I want." type.
There are the "Yeah, so what has He done for me today?" types.
And the much rarer, we will just call them the "Involved" ones.
With the spread of the prosperity doctrine, havoc has been brought to the Charisma circles, leaked out and captivated the faith of the weak children. Woe to those preachers whom have so willingly and easily mislead the multitudes....... Of course, these are sheep whom have used the belief that God blesses you and gives you what you want. Really? It must be my Luther Bible, it just does not support that idea. In fact, mine condemns materialism and the accumulation of what you are making your replacement God. No, God is not in the idol making business and He does not need you to have riches for you to use on yourself - my Bible says He wants your obedience above all else, in all things. So rich young rulers, praise the living God and mourn your poverty.
Others are more interesting to me. Everyone can see God's active hand in their life but they do not. In fact, where is that God? "Yeah, I know he was around here yesterday but what about today?" Oh He is still there working in the background but you can not see Him because it is you He is working on! No, I am not thinking of anyone in particular here because this is a common problem with all of us. God gets active and we still see ourselves as how we used to be - or with subtle changes incorporated, but never as the whole person everyone else sees. Of course, in our culture of rapid expectations, we tend to lose sight of any activity which takes over 30 minutes. Where is that God? Right beside you. What has He done lately for me? Well, you are still alive for starters........... Best get to thanking Him for each breath cause those depend upon Him as well.
Of course, I saved the best for last - the one I really wanted to talk about, our involved Christian. Oh, I know you are already forming opinions as to what I am going to be saying, so let me throw you off the track by reading John 11:38-44.
1) Let us start off by getting God out of your box you have put Him in. We are all guilty of saying that God only works in such and such a way. Or He is capable of doing anything, except...... (fill in the blank). That is putting God in a box. Yeah, we take Him out, dust Him off occasionally and then hit Him with our never ending shopping list of wants and desires. Even I am guilty here, because of my "knowledge" of how God works, I could not allow for what God had planned for me to do - it took quite a large bat, over the head, for me to understand that the God of creation and the universe was completely capable of telling me to not only become completely vulnerable, but to put at risk everything I prize, to accomplish His goal. Whoa! Do you understand what I just said? God demanded that I put at risk my sunday school teaching, my witness, what people think of me, even my own family - in order to be obedient.
Now switch back to our passage and think of Martha here. Her brother is dead, her brother is rotting in the grave, Jesus could have saved him but was just too late. And now what? Martha believes in the resurrection, but she knows that it will not come - yet. Is anything too hard for Jesus? Yes, when you really do not understand that He is God..... Read: Genesis 18:14, Jeremiah 32:27 and Ephesians 5:20 as you consider this.
2) So Jesus told them to roll away the rock which was sealing the tomb. Hold your breath here, this is really going to stink! I suspect that no one was really in favor of this idea. First off, it was going to be a major problem. Graves were unclean, dead bodies were unclean, either would contaminate your body so that you were banded from attending Synagog! And a devote Jew would not wish that, nor the cleaning process so you could attend a week later! Next up, who wants to smell a rotting corpse? Certainly Martha did not want the tomb opened, to be reminded of the state of her dead brother, to relive the pain of his death all over again. No just leave it shut.
But Jesus was so insistent.....
3) The stone is rolled away. Was there the smell of rot? Probably. Was Lazarus reclined and wanting a lite beer? No, he was quite dead. And Jesus calls him out.....
Believe
You will see
God's Glory
Miriam and Martha got joy.
4) Those whom remained were to witness the resurrection of life to Lazarus' body. But, in order to witness this event, they had to PARTICIPATE in the event.
They had to overcome their religious tenants.
They had to roll away the stone.
They had to unwrap Lazarus from his shrouds!
Just think about the converse here. The village people could not overcome their tradition and touch a grave, so the stone stayed in place. The people could not come to have the faith in Jesus it would take to be a participant in this miracle. Instead they took up stones and beat Jesus and the slow running disciples to death..... Yeah, not so far fetched as you might think.
We fail because we do not participate.
We fail because we can not let go of our tradition.
We fail because we want to fix people before they are actually alive.
We fail because we abandon the living and hope they make it on their own.
It takes lots of patience to help others.
It takes real love to be willing to pour yourself into another, without thought of "payback".
It takes a miracle for you to be vulnerable and at risk for another.
It takes a miracle for everything to come together for God to work.
It takes only your willingness to be used, to change the future of others.....
So, what is the big idea here? God wants to involve you in what He is doing for others, so get involved!
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Miracles I Have Heard
Continuing our discussion, Nolan:
Last time I told you of miracles I have personally witnessed, this time is what has been told to me by those I do believe. Sober, honest men and women whose testimony is solid.
The point is God is active, He is doing big things, He goes unnoticed because even "Christians" do not believe miracles anymore. If you want to see God's hand in action:
Last time I told you of miracles I have personally witnessed, this time is what has been told to me by those I do believe. Sober, honest men and women whose testimony is solid.
- Fleeing attackers, they safely crossed a river, those behind them were devoured by piranaha
- Jail doors opened and no one suddenly around to stop escape
- Next to death, a little girl found and rescued (she later lead her entire family to salvation)
- Police do not arrest a Christian because of "all of the people gathered around him", he was alone
- Police looking for Christian materials can not find them sitting on a seat of a VW bug
- Attempting to discredit a Missionary with a hooker, the hooker and cameraman both come to salvation
- Christian publishing and distribution inside of closed countries
The point is God is active, He is doing big things, He goes unnoticed because even "Christians" do not believe miracles anymore. If you want to see God's hand in action:
- Look globally at disaster and ask, "Is this to call them to Salvation?", then look at sin levels
- Look to see whom does not suffer tragedy in disaster. Hmmmmmm.....
- When you see an accident, consider what kept you too early or too late to have been in it
- Test God and see if he will not provide a miracle around you, you can see and know it is truly Him
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Miracles I Have Seen
So, Nolan, you have asked and I have taken a good first cut at answering your question. Yes, miracles do happen. Yes, God is actively working in your life today. Can you see Him in action? I would be surprised.
In our "scientifically" ordered culture, what can not be recreated must not really exist. If miracles occur, then why are they not repeatable, the skeptic will ask. Well, because is the one whom works the miracle. They are a witnessing tool in reaching the lost. They are a blessing from God for you as His child. But, they are His and He will cause them when and where He desires.
All of these listed below I have personally seen. They happened either to me or my friends, but I was there when they did happen. And no, none of them were "doctors did something" or "it occurred across time". They were instantaneous. Now Kathy's arm I have included because even though it has been across time that the limb has recovered - the recovery did not begin until the class actually prayed for her and those fingers moved for the very first time since the break had occurred months earlier. Remember, the doctors were going to remove her fore arm!
Healings
· A removed eyeball restored new, whole and functional
· Broken bones instantly healed
· Fourth degree burns healed
· Terminal bleeding stopped
· Paralytics regain bodily control and function
· A septic limb, to be amputated, restored
· Muscles restored
· Sprains healed
· Poisoning was not successful
Against Nature
· People whom should have frozen but did not
· Weather changed following prayer
· Sea flow changed following prayer
· A boat, adrift, return to shore immediately
· Wild animals “tamed” (bears and cougars)
· Protection from hypothermia
· Wind given just as needed
Against Physics
· Walking on air
· Melded cars separated
· Future revealed
· Knowledge revealed
· Two solids passing in the same location
· Bullets stopped
· Items appear following prayer
· Seeing the spirit world
· Surviving a 160 foot fall, without injury!
· 135 mpg Dodge Dart
Against Situations
· “Coincidences”
· Existence of Love
· Transportation given, as needed
· Me doing Sunday School!
· Hearts turned
· Attacks averted
· Presence of Angels
· Finding lost divers, while before complete death!
· Finding lost hikers
· Finding lost kids in a forest fire
· Me being a Christian!
· Language ability given as needed
· Language understanding as needed
· “Timing” averts disaster!
· “Seeing” eyes blinded
· “Hearing” ears silenced
· Right people, right place, right time!
· Authority over spiritual opposition
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Experiential
Back when I was a wee-snapper of a Christian, I used to visit local Bible studies, mostly college age in attendance. Nothing unusual there. Most of the groups were borderline Charismatic in their faith. Nothing unusual there either. However, I am not a Charismatic by any sense of the word. I find it quaint that there are those whom are - but my faith has always been based on my Bible and meditation. Emotional outbursts and experiences I give very little credence to.....
Oh make no mistake, I fully and completely believe in the existence of the Holy Spirit and its ministry both in our lives and through us to one another. However, through the years I have seen far to many train wrecks caused by youthful exuberance of those experiencing the Holy Spirit. In fact, it seems it is often hard for those being used by the Holy Spirit to actually control themselves.
Solid, staunch men of Christ I have known, have pulled some of the dumbest blunders I have ever seen - and reaped some of the most incredible miracles because of it! Imagine a crippled man whom suddenly gets the bright idea that he needed to drive quite some distance, by himself, because God told him to. He had been a severe stroke victim and really had to be supervised just to go to the grocery store. But, he believed God, not his physical limitations. The family had the police looking for him when he turned up missing!
Oh did I mention that he also had to travel through several different countries to do this? Yeah an impossibility. Yet, he bought a VW van, made his trip, arrived at his destination and then sat there. He had no idea why he was there, but he was, and now he was doubting his sanity.
In the course of dinner, he met an odd family. They knew him, but he pretty much was sure he had never met them before. They knew he was to take them to freedom. Their bags were packed, they were ready to go, oh - and by the way, the police and army were hunting them! So, wanted posters out on them, no passports, their id papers had already been seized. Yeah.
So, they piled into the van and headed for the border using back roads to avoid all of the police and the officials. They became incredibly lost, got stuck in the mud and buried their axle. And along comes a column of tanks.
Yeah, the officer was very interested in them. Here was a foreign vehicle, in an area used by smugglers, being driven by a man obvious handicapped by a stroke! Then it started raining, heavily. The van was blocking the road, the tanks needed to get by. The officer could not even have a conversation with the stroke victim. And then as the situation became tense, the lightening hit.
Now I do not know if you have ever taken a lightening hit or not, it is not pleasant. I came close one time - it missed me by just under a foot and that was still enough power to just about smoke my climbing boots, fry my hair and throw me a good eight feet! It is very real and very powerful.
Our hero of this tale however was thrown about thirty feet! The army aid unit rushed up to help the stranger and their officer. Only neither was harmed! In fact the stranger was now completely healed of his paralysis and suddenly could speak their language! The officer was not dumb, he knew he was facing something far more powerful than himself. He was facing that non-existent God he had heard about. He ordered one of the tanks to pull the van out of the mud and tow it the short distance over the border.
Apparently, the whole issue of this hunted family sitting in this van the entire time never came up! Yeah, they were Christians, the father a pastor whom had refused to be silent. And God worked a miracle to move them out of harms way. I heard this tale from one of the kids.
Now, how do you deal with something like this in your daily life? Sure we credit God with the ability to do anything He wants, just as long as it is what we expect. But, what happens when He begins working in unexpected ways in our lives? Our handicapped stranger really was only obedient and desiring to be used. And used he was in a tremendous way! The Christian pastor only had faith that God would help them to escape and spare their lives. And God did do just that! Both had to step out in faith to do the unexpected! And because of this, God worked a few miracles!
Yeah, not necessarily a Bible quality tale, but a true on none the less. And I can find examples in my Bible of God managing to do even greater things than this. Then looking in my own life and seeing the miracles across the past months, incredible! And last night having a daughter lovingly look me in my eyes and tell me she never could have imagined ... this change going on inside of her.
Wow! What an incredible God - using "foolish" men to perform His deeds.....
Oh make no mistake, I fully and completely believe in the existence of the Holy Spirit and its ministry both in our lives and through us to one another. However, through the years I have seen far to many train wrecks caused by youthful exuberance of those experiencing the Holy Spirit. In fact, it seems it is often hard for those being used by the Holy Spirit to actually control themselves.
Solid, staunch men of Christ I have known, have pulled some of the dumbest blunders I have ever seen - and reaped some of the most incredible miracles because of it! Imagine a crippled man whom suddenly gets the bright idea that he needed to drive quite some distance, by himself, because God told him to. He had been a severe stroke victim and really had to be supervised just to go to the grocery store. But, he believed God, not his physical limitations. The family had the police looking for him when he turned up missing!
Oh did I mention that he also had to travel through several different countries to do this? Yeah an impossibility. Yet, he bought a VW van, made his trip, arrived at his destination and then sat there. He had no idea why he was there, but he was, and now he was doubting his sanity.
In the course of dinner, he met an odd family. They knew him, but he pretty much was sure he had never met them before. They knew he was to take them to freedom. Their bags were packed, they were ready to go, oh - and by the way, the police and army were hunting them! So, wanted posters out on them, no passports, their id papers had already been seized. Yeah.
So, they piled into the van and headed for the border using back roads to avoid all of the police and the officials. They became incredibly lost, got stuck in the mud and buried their axle. And along comes a column of tanks.
Yeah, the officer was very interested in them. Here was a foreign vehicle, in an area used by smugglers, being driven by a man obvious handicapped by a stroke! Then it started raining, heavily. The van was blocking the road, the tanks needed to get by. The officer could not even have a conversation with the stroke victim. And then as the situation became tense, the lightening hit.
Now I do not know if you have ever taken a lightening hit or not, it is not pleasant. I came close one time - it missed me by just under a foot and that was still enough power to just about smoke my climbing boots, fry my hair and throw me a good eight feet! It is very real and very powerful.
Our hero of this tale however was thrown about thirty feet! The army aid unit rushed up to help the stranger and their officer. Only neither was harmed! In fact the stranger was now completely healed of his paralysis and suddenly could speak their language! The officer was not dumb, he knew he was facing something far more powerful than himself. He was facing that non-existent God he had heard about. He ordered one of the tanks to pull the van out of the mud and tow it the short distance over the border.
Apparently, the whole issue of this hunted family sitting in this van the entire time never came up! Yeah, they were Christians, the father a pastor whom had refused to be silent. And God worked a miracle to move them out of harms way. I heard this tale from one of the kids.
Now, how do you deal with something like this in your daily life? Sure we credit God with the ability to do anything He wants, just as long as it is what we expect. But, what happens when He begins working in unexpected ways in our lives? Our handicapped stranger really was only obedient and desiring to be used. And used he was in a tremendous way! The Christian pastor only had faith that God would help them to escape and spare their lives. And God did do just that! Both had to step out in faith to do the unexpected! And because of this, God worked a few miracles!
Yeah, not necessarily a Bible quality tale, but a true on none the less. And I can find examples in my Bible of God managing to do even greater things than this. Then looking in my own life and seeing the miracles across the past months, incredible! And last night having a daughter lovingly look me in my eyes and tell me she never could have imagined ... this change going on inside of her.
Wow! What an incredible God - using "foolish" men to perform His deeds.....
Monday, January 23, 2012
Math Miracle!
I entered the hallowed halls of my college, the figure of doom floating over me. If I failed the upcoming exam, I would be out of the program, if I was out of the program, I would be right back to where I was all through the fall - bored out of my mind and not investing in Kris.
The teacher was 15 minutes late and I as able to catch him in the hallway and explain the problem - Kris is a math idiot and I have no idea how to even use the computer programs necessary to enter answers. No, it is not user friendly, logical nor have a math or English based help option. Kris is so dead.
The teacher motioned me into an adjoining room where a room full of kids were doing book work. "Come in tomorrow and transfer into this class." He hands me a stack of paper to turn in next week and tells me there is an exam next weekend.
Kris is saved! Math, not for boneheads, but for morons!
HURRAY!!!!!
The teacher was 15 minutes late and I as able to catch him in the hallway and explain the problem - Kris is a math idiot and I have no idea how to even use the computer programs necessary to enter answers. No, it is not user friendly, logical nor have a math or English based help option. Kris is so dead.
The teacher motioned me into an adjoining room where a room full of kids were doing book work. "Come in tomorrow and transfer into this class." He hands me a stack of paper to turn in next week and tells me there is an exam next weekend.
Kris is saved! Math, not for boneheads, but for morons!
HURRAY!!!!!
Monday, December 5, 2011
When At The Cross Roads
John 9:35 - 41 and Mark 8:34 - 37
As I continue to think on the blind man whom Jesus healed, pain and suffering in general, a friend's injuries, my condition in particular.....
I try and do the right thing, for instance - in all meetings with youth I have never done so alone. I always have a mature female Christian with me at all times. At first that was easy as Gaelic Girl has for years worked with me. If not her, then my lawyer's wife back home in Basle Stadt. But, all of that was to change. I am blessed to have a very down to earth lady from Montana now to help. Unfortunately, she was badly injured a few weeks ago. Tripping over a newly adopted cat one night, the fall broke numerous small bones in her left hand.
So this morning we talked with our class about healing and how much she has prayed for healing in the emergency room, and with each hospital visit, for relief daily from the crippling pain. How much longer I have prayed for relief from the disaster cancer surgery wrought upon my body. Yet, there is not a day that goes by I do not praise God for the ability to still walk. How easy it would have been for Him to heal me and not have to have my spine sawn open. How much easier for Him to heal those small bones in my helper's hand. Yet, God chose the hard path for both of us - for very obvious reasons - suffering brings forth faith, suffering brings awareness of other's pain, suffering challenges us to be overcomers. And, like me, my helper praises God because she knows this is within His will. And tough enough to endure.....
Our healing is guaranteed, the only question is as to when. For the blind man it was that day in Jerusalem - as a witness to those on the street, to him and his family, to disbelieving Rabbis, the Pharisees and the faithful gathered at the temple that very special day.
For most of us, Heaven is the ultimate healing location and solution to our suffering (Hebrews 11:35). Not everyone lives happily ever after, at least until Heaven, for most of us..... Until then, we are to be faithful, even in our pain and suffering - just like the believers of old! Unlike the disbelieving world, we have HOPE until the day that suffering will indeed end. (Philippians 3:10-11)
Peace, pleasure and healing are all in Heaven, not to be found here. Staying alive does not compare to a day in the service of Jesus. (Matthew 10:39) So many seek the bizarre to find healing, to end pain, to stretch those days out on this earth out. As Mark 8:36 - 37 tells us, you can pursue all the things of this earth and lose your soul; to what end .....?
It is easy to imagine the blind man would have given anything for his sight, especially in a society in which he was condemned by all for his birth condition! And yet, from the unexpected came his healing at the hands of Jesus. Hmmmmm.
I love this part: the man asked whom it was, whom gave him his sight and Jesus answered that he had already seen whom. And, the man immediately began worshiping Jesus! That whole argument that Jesus was not worshiped in his lifetime - just ended there.
For us today, our salvation has been bought through Jesus' execution and resurrection. All any of us have to do is just to receive that blessing Jesus' left for us. No, you may well not receive healing in this life, but you will be given what you need to overcome.....
So, when you reach that crossroad in life, much the same as presented itself to the blind man, be sure you pick the road leading the way to the CROSS.
As I continue to think on the blind man whom Jesus healed, pain and suffering in general, a friend's injuries, my condition in particular.....
I try and do the right thing, for instance - in all meetings with youth I have never done so alone. I always have a mature female Christian with me at all times. At first that was easy as Gaelic Girl has for years worked with me. If not her, then my lawyer's wife back home in Basle Stadt. But, all of that was to change. I am blessed to have a very down to earth lady from Montana now to help. Unfortunately, she was badly injured a few weeks ago. Tripping over a newly adopted cat one night, the fall broke numerous small bones in her left hand.
So this morning we talked with our class about healing and how much she has prayed for healing in the emergency room, and with each hospital visit, for relief daily from the crippling pain. How much longer I have prayed for relief from the disaster cancer surgery wrought upon my body. Yet, there is not a day that goes by I do not praise God for the ability to still walk. How easy it would have been for Him to heal me and not have to have my spine sawn open. How much easier for Him to heal those small bones in my helper's hand. Yet, God chose the hard path for both of us - for very obvious reasons - suffering brings forth faith, suffering brings awareness of other's pain, suffering challenges us to be overcomers. And, like me, my helper praises God because she knows this is within His will. And tough enough to endure.....
Our healing is guaranteed, the only question is as to when. For the blind man it was that day in Jerusalem - as a witness to those on the street, to him and his family, to disbelieving Rabbis, the Pharisees and the faithful gathered at the temple that very special day.
For most of us, Heaven is the ultimate healing location and solution to our suffering (Hebrews 11:35). Not everyone lives happily ever after, at least until Heaven, for most of us..... Until then, we are to be faithful, even in our pain and suffering - just like the believers of old! Unlike the disbelieving world, we have HOPE until the day that suffering will indeed end. (Philippians 3:10-11)
Peace, pleasure and healing are all in Heaven, not to be found here. Staying alive does not compare to a day in the service of Jesus. (Matthew 10:39) So many seek the bizarre to find healing, to end pain, to stretch those days out on this earth out. As Mark 8:36 - 37 tells us, you can pursue all the things of this earth and lose your soul; to what end .....?
It is easy to imagine the blind man would have given anything for his sight, especially in a society in which he was condemned by all for his birth condition! And yet, from the unexpected came his healing at the hands of Jesus. Hmmmmm.
I love this part: the man asked whom it was, whom gave him his sight and Jesus answered that he had already seen whom. And, the man immediately began worshiping Jesus! That whole argument that Jesus was not worshiped in his lifetime - just ended there.
For us today, our salvation has been bought through Jesus' execution and resurrection. All any of us have to do is just to receive that blessing Jesus' left for us. No, you may well not receive healing in this life, but you will be given what you need to overcome.....
So, when you reach that crossroad in life, much the same as presented itself to the blind man, be sure you pick the road leading the way to the CROSS.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Another Prayer Item
Got an email this morning from one of the women in the church I attend. Surprised me as I am not sure how she got my email address! And it is not like we ever talk.....
However, it seems her seven year old daughter collapsed last week and ER did a series of MRI's and other tests to see what is up. She has three brain tumors! Two might be operable however one is in the brain stem and will require radiation to kill.
So, this little girl is in need of a miracle - failing that a skillful surgeon - and then a miracle healing! And, her family, well quite a bit of courage and faith to get through this.
I know from experience how low the percentages of survival are on these situations. I also know how much God can do to comfort those whom care and the healing He can bring - before and after the surgery!
(for those of you whom do not know, I had spinal cancer surgery in 1997 (brain cancer in my lumbars of all things!), 15% survival and only 5% to ever walk again! but God got me through it!)
So, not sure where God is leading this family. But, I know a whole lot of prayer is needed for the parents - Konrad and Tammy, and their daughter Allison! Plus they have two older girls whom will be in need of prayer as well.
Thanks.
However, it seems her seven year old daughter collapsed last week and ER did a series of MRI's and other tests to see what is up. She has three brain tumors! Two might be operable however one is in the brain stem and will require radiation to kill.
So, this little girl is in need of a miracle - failing that a skillful surgeon - and then a miracle healing! And, her family, well quite a bit of courage and faith to get through this.
I know from experience how low the percentages of survival are on these situations. I also know how much God can do to comfort those whom care and the healing He can bring - before and after the surgery!
(for those of you whom do not know, I had spinal cancer surgery in 1997 (brain cancer in my lumbars of all things!), 15% survival and only 5% to ever walk again! but God got me through it!)
So, not sure where God is leading this family. But, I know a whole lot of prayer is needed for the parents - Konrad and Tammy, and their daughter Allison! Plus they have two older girls whom will be in need of prayer as well.
Thanks.
Friday, June 3, 2011
They Never Came and Will Never Leave!
"They" are those whom came to the wreak of Christianity, after the faith has been lost. They have no reason to leave because the faith has become self serving - they are happy here! So, remembering my last post, that change is needed, let's see where we are going today:
John 6:70 and 71 we have to start by thinking about Judas.....
Everything you could say about Peter, John, Andrew, even James - would be also true about Judas. Judas was one of the inner 12, he was trusted, he was the group's treasurer - he had authority.
No one saw his betrayal coming - each of the other 11 wondered if it might have been them whom would be the betrayer of Jesus.
Was Judas' sell out about money, disappointment, looking out for number 1 or was he just trying to force Jesus to reveal whom he really was? Lots of theories, currently only God knows the answer to that one! (I think it was the latter.)
So, Judas came. He stayed. He never really understood because he was really never one of them.
How like our church today! Pews filled with people whom have no reason to leave because after all, attending church gets you to Heaven, right? Churched people whom should be feasting on the glories of the Holy Spirit but instead are dead in the pews and in their lives. Participation is optional, right? And in time discontent enters their hearts - could it be the music or a particularly convicting sermon or just a remark by someone. And the door is open for Satan take their unguarded hearts..... Well, if you are awake you know the chaos Satan can introduce into the church to destroy it, the believers, the young in the faith.....
And what is it you are not going to like? The role you must play in the non Christian Church of today - you must acquire the gift of DISCERNMENT! Oh yeah that one gift you are almost never going to see because almost no one seems to have it today!
So, where do you find discernment? Well, it is a sign gift from the Holy Spirit. He can give it to you or you could even ask and it will be given to you. But, in the meantime you might start to study your Bible, in earnest! Through study you can begin to see the fingerprints and footprints of God - not only in the Bible but by observation of the world around you. Believe it or not, God works the same to day, as He did 4000 years ago, as He will be doing tomorrow! If you can see what is of God, then you also will have learned to see what is of man and his folly. A start and one day perhaps discernment will be yours. And you can be hated by those whose schemes you interrupt!
On the other hand, God might have another or other gift(s) for you to support your role and responsibility within the Church. But having the ability to know right from wrong, truth from error, and intent - will only assist you, your ministry and your church.
Oh but don't worry - I have much more to say next time!
John 6:70 and 71 we have to start by thinking about Judas.....
Everything you could say about Peter, John, Andrew, even James - would be also true about Judas. Judas was one of the inner 12, he was trusted, he was the group's treasurer - he had authority.
No one saw his betrayal coming - each of the other 11 wondered if it might have been them whom would be the betrayer of Jesus.
Was Judas' sell out about money, disappointment, looking out for number 1 or was he just trying to force Jesus to reveal whom he really was? Lots of theories, currently only God knows the answer to that one! (I think it was the latter.)
So, Judas came. He stayed. He never really understood because he was really never one of them.
How like our church today! Pews filled with people whom have no reason to leave because after all, attending church gets you to Heaven, right? Churched people whom should be feasting on the glories of the Holy Spirit but instead are dead in the pews and in their lives. Participation is optional, right? And in time discontent enters their hearts - could it be the music or a particularly convicting sermon or just a remark by someone. And the door is open for Satan take their unguarded hearts..... Well, if you are awake you know the chaos Satan can introduce into the church to destroy it, the believers, the young in the faith.....
And what is it you are not going to like? The role you must play in the non Christian Church of today - you must acquire the gift of DISCERNMENT! Oh yeah that one gift you are almost never going to see because almost no one seems to have it today!
So, where do you find discernment? Well, it is a sign gift from the Holy Spirit. He can give it to you or you could even ask and it will be given to you. But, in the meantime you might start to study your Bible, in earnest! Through study you can begin to see the fingerprints and footprints of God - not only in the Bible but by observation of the world around you. Believe it or not, God works the same to day, as He did 4000 years ago, as He will be doing tomorrow! If you can see what is of God, then you also will have learned to see what is of man and his folly. A start and one day perhaps discernment will be yours. And you can be hated by those whose schemes you interrupt!
On the other hand, God might have another or other gift(s) for you to support your role and responsibility within the Church. But having the ability to know right from wrong, truth from error, and intent - will only assist you, your ministry and your church.
Oh but don't worry - I have much more to say next time!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Seek God's Face Not His Handouts!
Thinking on Deuteronomy 18:15, with John 6:14-15 and 6:22-27 in mind.....
Jesus had an awful lot of fans, but they were not followers. When he fed the 5,000 - they followed him seeking more food/handouts, aftrer all, Moses had feed them for 40 years and wouldn't be nice if they could coast for the next 40 by following this new prophet?
Fans expect you to do something for them today.
Followers ask, "what can I do for you today?"
When we say that Jesus is just what I have been waiting for, what do we mean by that?
Are we, like those Hebrews so long ago, thinking that we have discovered the goose that lays golden eggs? Once with Jesus and we can now retire to easy street? America's God has become the god of the never ending shopping list! We select and go to churches which will serve us and our anticipated needs!
It is true that each have physical and natural needs, however the natural man only understands his physicals needs. And so many Christians have become.
When we seek Jesus for the wrong reasons, what can we expect him to do?
Well, in these verses the people saw a miracle and then thinking that Jesus was about the 'here and now' of life, flocked to him expecting more physical blessings (and probably food as well!).
But Jesus withdrew from them, He was not going to let them make Him into something that they want!
Today when you seek Jesus for the wrong reasons - you are not going to be finding Him or that Jag in the garage either! But, when we seek Him as God, in humbleness of spirit, for whom He is, then we will be finding the great I AM, the Resurrection ..... and the Father.
And maybe even a fish, if he has reason to provide us with one.....
Jesus had an awful lot of fans, but they were not followers. When he fed the 5,000 - they followed him seeking more food/handouts, aftrer all, Moses had feed them for 40 years and wouldn't be nice if they could coast for the next 40 by following this new prophet?
Fans expect you to do something for them today.
Followers ask, "what can I do for you today?"
When we say that Jesus is just what I have been waiting for, what do we mean by that?
Are we, like those Hebrews so long ago, thinking that we have discovered the goose that lays golden eggs? Once with Jesus and we can now retire to easy street? America's God has become the god of the never ending shopping list! We select and go to churches which will serve us and our anticipated needs!
It is true that each have physical and natural needs, however the natural man only understands his physicals needs. And so many Christians have become.
When we seek Jesus for the wrong reasons, what can we expect him to do?
Well, in these verses the people saw a miracle and then thinking that Jesus was about the 'here and now' of life, flocked to him expecting more physical blessings (and probably food as well!).
But Jesus withdrew from them, He was not going to let them make Him into something that they want!
Today when you seek Jesus for the wrong reasons - you are not going to be finding Him or that Jag in the garage either! But, when we seek Him as God, in humbleness of spirit, for whom He is, then we will be finding the great I AM, the Resurrection ..... and the Father.
And maybe even a fish, if he has reason to provide us with one.....
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