You have no idea how rough last week was!
You have no idea how relieved I am I survived last week.
Poor brother Timothy was calling multiple times a night just to be sure I had not killed myself.
People do not do what I was led to do last week - I decoded my own personality and was to learn the very secret of Kris.
Kris, as God created him, stripped of all and seen solely by me - as created.
No it was not pretty.
It was annoying to finally know.
It requires action on my part.
It requires one of my friends to take quite a responsibility in my life, for me to succeed.
But, where ever the remainder of the year leads, the usefulness of Thoughts From The Little Apple is over.
The sole purpose of blogs 1 through 7, was to help me through the struggle which began in August 2005 to arrive exactly at where I did last Thursday - almost 9 years later. To resolve within myself the dichotomy between my reformation discipleship and where the American theological schools have led the church down the sewer of disbelief. Talk about my bizarre life. And, along the way, I discovered the real me and explanations for far more than anyone reading this wants to know.
And so from blog 7, I resign my pen. The task is done. The future lay ahead....
I will keep Thoughts from the Little Apple up, i think some of my best writings are in there, albeit, the least popular or read of my postings!
But, this is the final post for this Blog. I have no where else to go except a different direction and that would not be supported by the volume of posts here.
The further adventures of mine will be carried on here:
After The Apple
Not sure of the approach or what I will go into there - yet - at least for the rest of this year, but next year I hope to blow you away ...
To my faithful readers, thank you. Your encouragement and prayers are all that have gotten me to where I suddenly find myself.
Showing posts with label Blogging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blogging. Show all posts
Monday, May 12, 2014
Thursday, April 10, 2014
World of Squirrels
Well unfortunately, lost was the text which went with these photographs from March 2009. But, I still got a chuckle seeing them again and remembering some fun times on the internet....
So no memory of the text, just the photo captions I could remember.
Fun memories.
 |
| Squirrel found near Barry Bond's garbage |
 |
| Romanian squirrel |
 |
| British SAS squirrel |
 |
| Seattle squirrel |
 |
| Standard Swiss squirrel |
 | |||
| Standard Zurich squirrel |
Fun memories.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Remembering Sanctity of Human Life
It is Sunday night and I just finished writing Monday's post about my ex-friend Elspeth. It is best she be an ex, as she is apparently too dangerous for guys right now. And well, she did at attempt to impinge my integrity.
I thought to data mine my blog to see if I could find one of my missing posts, well actually it is a series of four of them, and the blogger search tool suddenly pointed me to a post I had forgotten about since I was last in Tuscon: Sanctity of Human Life
It was so weird. I can remember Kathy, my mining partner's wife going into Safeway for some Dr. Pepper. She got in the car and as we pulled away, the shooting started.
I thought it was a movie set and they were filming. Heavens there were cameras everywhere, ambulances on standby and lots of police.
My mining partner thought it was a college prank.
Why would someone want to shoot up a political meeting in Casas Adobes?
Thirty minutes later we are in a town whose name I can not pronounce (T.....) and on the news was hysteria over the shooting in Casa Adobes. What shooting? Oh my God, what we had just witnessed! It made no sense. It still does not.
The little community was in shock, my friend has lived there for over 40 years. There is no one he does not know, nor have an opinion about! The pastor of his church was dumbstruck. He committed suicide about two weeks later. Yeah.
So, sit back, click on the above link and read something which still brings tears to my eyes and think on what we have lost in our culture ...
I thought to data mine my blog to see if I could find one of my missing posts, well actually it is a series of four of them, and the blogger search tool suddenly pointed me to a post I had forgotten about since I was last in Tuscon: Sanctity of Human Life
It was so weird. I can remember Kathy, my mining partner's wife going into Safeway for some Dr. Pepper. She got in the car and as we pulled away, the shooting started.
I thought it was a movie set and they were filming. Heavens there were cameras everywhere, ambulances on standby and lots of police.
My mining partner thought it was a college prank.
Why would someone want to shoot up a political meeting in Casas Adobes?
Thirty minutes later we are in a town whose name I can not pronounce (T.....) and on the news was hysteria over the shooting in Casa Adobes. What shooting? Oh my God, what we had just witnessed! It made no sense. It still does not.
The little community was in shock, my friend has lived there for over 40 years. There is no one he does not know, nor have an opinion about! The pastor of his church was dumbstruck. He committed suicide about two weeks later. Yeah.
So, sit back, click on the above link and read something which still brings tears to my eyes and think on what we have lost in our culture ...
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Critic's Choice
Ralph Connors, a missionary minister to the Canadian Rocky Mountain region, told the tale of how a pastor was called to a small church to replace the suddenly vanished pastor.
His first week there he observed that the men of the community would snag logs in the river and then use them for firewood, lumber or even haul to a mill some distance away, after judicious trimming. And he thought, "How convenient." And preached on the bounty of God's gifts. The congregation added hearty "Amen's".
The second week, he observed that it was the choicest woods being hauled to mill, which sort of made sense but there were so many, he had to wonder. And he preached on the abundance of God's blessing and the need to remember the tithe. The congregation added hearty "Amen's".
The third week, he observed that many of the logs hauled out of the river had been cut by hand. Where were they coming from? Who could afford to lose so much lumber? And he preached on the evils of coveting another man's property. The congregation added hearty "Amen's".
The fourth week he took a trip upstream one night and observed the men of his congregation pushing logs out of the mill pond's supply and out into the river. And he preached on the Hell fire awaiting those whom covet, steal and lie!
A new minister arrived the next week to replace the suddenly departed pastor.
Connors' point was practical and to the point: tell me about God and no one will have a problem, tell me about sin and no one will have a problem again, but tell me about my sin and we suddenly have a problem.
********************
This idea carries forward into the realm of sermons, lessons, events, books, etc:
So, what I am leading to? Some of my posts are all too real and of value, some to encourage you to do what is right, and yeah, some fun ones too.
But, the lowest read of all of my postings are those which will are of actual value!
With you, my reader base, there are currently 795 possible readers for any given post.
The ones I think of as most valuable will garner 4 reads immediately and perhaps 20 across all time!
The ones I put the least stock in - into the thousands - across years of reading!
Satan, Evil, is real and very much alive and I am constantly amazed at its ability to draw my returning readers from the truth. Just as in Connor's day, 100 years ago, no one wants to hear they have something they need to do. Actually, even in Jesus' day, the rich young ruler was no more happy to hear what he still needed to do something as well.
Interesting ...
His first week there he observed that the men of the community would snag logs in the river and then use them for firewood, lumber or even haul to a mill some distance away, after judicious trimming. And he thought, "How convenient." And preached on the bounty of God's gifts. The congregation added hearty "Amen's".
The second week, he observed that it was the choicest woods being hauled to mill, which sort of made sense but there were so many, he had to wonder. And he preached on the abundance of God's blessing and the need to remember the tithe. The congregation added hearty "Amen's".
The third week, he observed that many of the logs hauled out of the river had been cut by hand. Where were they coming from? Who could afford to lose so much lumber? And he preached on the evils of coveting another man's property. The congregation added hearty "Amen's".
The fourth week he took a trip upstream one night and observed the men of his congregation pushing logs out of the mill pond's supply and out into the river. And he preached on the Hell fire awaiting those whom covet, steal and lie!
A new minister arrived the next week to replace the suddenly departed pastor.
Connors' point was practical and to the point: tell me about God and no one will have a problem, tell me about sin and no one will have a problem again, but tell me about my sin and we suddenly have a problem.
********************
This idea carries forward into the realm of sermons, lessons, events, books, etc:
- Provide a great sermon or lesson on the Holy Spirit or the reality of God - no one will come.
- Provide the meaningless drivel of seeing how Revelation is today - everyone will come.
- Had a solid presentation on real spiritual warfare and see the lowest numbers ever.
- Promise to have a chills and thrills presentation on evil or demons - everyone will come!
- He really does not want you to know that he really is real!
- He really does not want you to know that you are empowered have victory,.
- He really likes it best when you, as a Christian, manage to just stay asleep.
So, what I am leading to? Some of my posts are all too real and of value, some to encourage you to do what is right, and yeah, some fun ones too.
But, the lowest read of all of my postings are those which will are of actual value!
With you, my reader base, there are currently 795 possible readers for any given post.
The ones I think of as most valuable will garner 4 reads immediately and perhaps 20 across all time!
The ones I put the least stock in - into the thousands - across years of reading!
Satan, Evil, is real and very much alive and I am constantly amazed at its ability to draw my returning readers from the truth. Just as in Connor's day, 100 years ago, no one wants to hear they have something they need to do. Actually, even in Jesus' day, the rich young ruler was no more happy to hear what he still needed to do something as well.
Interesting ...
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Google Frustration
So we complete two weeks of Google having hosed up Blogger. The initial fix is a no brainer, their redirect to a different ISP address lacked an 'S' in HTTPS. They can not change that one line of code to include an 'S', twice in the command line. Apparently, Google has no interest in undoing their mess up and compounded by their lack of testing. Yeah, just firing up Blogger would have failed for them, had they of bothered.
Then this release will not allow you to upload photos and I have a host of posts requiring the upload of photographs, but alas, no longer. Sigh.
By the way Google, I have literally written the book concerning testing approaches decades ago and just do happen to be free for engagements to show you how to do it ...
So trying to figure out what now to do for Friday! Without photos ...
Then this release will not allow you to upload photos and I have a host of posts requiring the upload of photographs, but alas, no longer. Sigh.
By the way Google, I have literally written the book concerning testing approaches decades ago and just do happen to be free for engagements to show you how to do it ...
So trying to figure out what now to do for Friday! Without photos ...
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Darn Body!
It seems my body is broken again! Friday I went to the State Fair and enjoyed myself entirely! Lots to look at and see, yummy things to try and people to just watch and observe. I love watching people.
But, I did too much walking, Saturday and Sunday I was hobbling painfully, and then Monday afternoon, my right plantar muscle let go - AGAIN! Gees, it took most of last year for it to heal from the tear in March and now it has let go again.
Imagine your foot about the size of your thigh in thickness! And now add this over-riding pain 24 x 7, sigh. Not what I need right now!
Of course it is entirely possible that this is God stopping me from what I had thought I would do later this month, a trip down to Vancouver to go on a deep woods hunt with my cousin. Might have been fun. But now I would have to content myself with dreaming about hiking.
Blogger is still down, I am now down, what could possibly next!!!!!?
But, I did too much walking, Saturday and Sunday I was hobbling painfully, and then Monday afternoon, my right plantar muscle let go - AGAIN! Gees, it took most of last year for it to heal from the tear in March and now it has let go again.
Imagine your foot about the size of your thigh in thickness! And now add this over-riding pain 24 x 7, sigh. Not what I need right now!
Of course it is entirely possible that this is God stopping me from what I had thought I would do later this month, a trip down to Vancouver to go on a deep woods hunt with my cousin. Might have been fun. But now I would have to content myself with dreaming about hiking.
Blogger is still down, I am now down, what could possibly next!!!!!?
Monday, September 9, 2013
Blogger Is Hosed
Unfortunately, Google has somehow hosed up Blogger again! Officially, I am locked out of Blogger along with numerous others, however, there is a back door I can use, so I am.
Yeah, anyone can view the Little Apple, but for some reason this one of my seven blogs, can not be updated or logged into by me.
Of course, it would nice if these changes would be tested before implemented.
Sigh.
Testing, one of the oldest of computing disciplines - one of the least used today ...
Yeah, anyone can view the Little Apple, but for some reason this one of my seven blogs, can not be updated or logged into by me.
Of course, it would nice if these changes would be tested before implemented.
Sigh.
Testing, one of the oldest of computing disciplines - one of the least used today ...
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Finished It
Up way to early this morning! But wanted to put something out here for the day, before my router overheats and dies again. Yeah, when the room temperature gets up to 80 degrees it is all over for my little network.
But, I did get the first draft back out there for the little blog about my father. It still amazes me the number of European and Russian readers for anything related to WWII and my father's experiences. I just wish I had more pictures but father destroyed everything related to his past before his death. I really would like to have gotten my hands on his repatronization card! We did a real thorough search of his house and all papers and photos were missing. Very sad. But, hey, we had a dozen copies of his fictionalized tome about his life!
Kris' exciting life this week is watching two of my grandchildren and ferrying one of them to and from kindergarden! Yeah one of them qualifies for school now, so she is very excited and I am yawning because I have to get her ready for school, breakfast and then drive her to school. Today is day one, so will I be able to do this on time? Guess we will find out!
Jaw is mighty painful today. I can finally close my mouth enough that the teeth touch, very painful though. Hearing is coming back in the left ear, though still distorted. And the joint is still very painful to both touch and movement. I almost managed a meal last night, chili cheese fries at Wendy's. They were super salty, thus yummy, and did fit into my mouth - so that was good!
Well time for tea and to think of more interesting posts this week!
But, I did get the first draft back out there for the little blog about my father. It still amazes me the number of European and Russian readers for anything related to WWII and my father's experiences. I just wish I had more pictures but father destroyed everything related to his past before his death. I really would like to have gotten my hands on his repatronization card! We did a real thorough search of his house and all papers and photos were missing. Very sad. But, hey, we had a dozen copies of his fictionalized tome about his life!
Kris' exciting life this week is watching two of my grandchildren and ferrying one of them to and from kindergarden! Yeah one of them qualifies for school now, so she is very excited and I am yawning because I have to get her ready for school, breakfast and then drive her to school. Today is day one, so will I be able to do this on time? Guess we will find out!
Jaw is mighty painful today. I can finally close my mouth enough that the teeth touch, very painful though. Hearing is coming back in the left ear, though still distorted. And the joint is still very painful to both touch and movement. I almost managed a meal last night, chili cheese fries at Wendy's. They were super salty, thus yummy, and did fit into my mouth - so that was good!
Well time for tea and to think of more interesting posts this week!
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Hit and Miss
It has been hit or miss since last Thursday as to whether or not my laptop would start, if the router would work and/or the modem would stay up! Just too plain hot!
This little computer I installed a fan in to help cool the circuits, then I have a 30" fan blowing on me and all of the workstation equipment and behind that a large air conditioner - and it has been a struggle keeping the temperature under 75! So lots of line drops, lots of wireless and hardware failures and flat out will not restart on the laptop.
But, I have been busy and hope to post a picture tomorrow of what I have been up to in the sweltering heat! Lots of hard work and with a back that has been out the entire time as well! Oh well. Work on the computer in the morning coolness, then do the physical stuff in the later heat - which backwards from what I needed. But, you will like the results when I can get the picture resized in photoshop tomorrow.
I am getting stronger and regaining some of my hand muscle, as well as, brain function.
Two weeks ago it took me 6.5 hours to change a bicycle type and tire. Sunday it was only 30 minutes! How is that for improvement?!?!?!? Still have some of the hand stiffness. Not sure as to why but bit by bit Kris is fighting back to humanity. No, probably no awesome adventures left to await me (that I know of!), but I will be satisfied to see my life resolved as soon as possible.
Ran into KJ, one of "my boys" from years back. Skinnier than a starving greyhound! Guess he lost his job, has been on the street and not doing well. He is talking about going back home to his mother (really bad idea!) so I have him set up for an interview Friday. Not the best job in the world, but it pays enough to actually live on with paid benefits. Never any coincidences in our lives as Christians. Just as it was important for him to stumble across my path and get a free meal, it will probably be shown why it is important to me as well, later.
Also ran into James, I told you about him months ago. He was taken down by some police, whom thought he looked suspicious and broke both of his wrists. So, he was laid off as a bus driver because, hey he can't drive any longer. Guess he is now involved in a multi-million dollar lawsuit against everyone but the tidy bowl man! We had a long talk and yeah, he needs prayer for healing - physically, mentally, emotionally; but more importantly he needs discipleship. That later point is a sore point for me because none of the churches in my town invest in this. So what few Christians there are, are misled and/or babies in the faith - not that I am the rock of Gibraltar, but at least I did invest years into being discipled.
Well, need to get this posted. It is grand-kid day and they will be awaking soon.
Shhhhhhh, be wery, wery quiet ..... I think I hear the wustle of a wabbit ..... heh, heh, heh, heh!
This little computer I installed a fan in to help cool the circuits, then I have a 30" fan blowing on me and all of the workstation equipment and behind that a large air conditioner - and it has been a struggle keeping the temperature under 75! So lots of line drops, lots of wireless and hardware failures and flat out will not restart on the laptop.
But, I have been busy and hope to post a picture tomorrow of what I have been up to in the sweltering heat! Lots of hard work and with a back that has been out the entire time as well! Oh well. Work on the computer in the morning coolness, then do the physical stuff in the later heat - which backwards from what I needed. But, you will like the results when I can get the picture resized in photoshop tomorrow.
I am getting stronger and regaining some of my hand muscle, as well as, brain function.
Two weeks ago it took me 6.5 hours to change a bicycle type and tire. Sunday it was only 30 minutes! How is that for improvement?!?!?!? Still have some of the hand stiffness. Not sure as to why but bit by bit Kris is fighting back to humanity. No, probably no awesome adventures left to await me (that I know of!), but I will be satisfied to see my life resolved as soon as possible.
Ran into KJ, one of "my boys" from years back. Skinnier than a starving greyhound! Guess he lost his job, has been on the street and not doing well. He is talking about going back home to his mother (really bad idea!) so I have him set up for an interview Friday. Not the best job in the world, but it pays enough to actually live on with paid benefits. Never any coincidences in our lives as Christians. Just as it was important for him to stumble across my path and get a free meal, it will probably be shown why it is important to me as well, later.
Also ran into James, I told you about him months ago. He was taken down by some police, whom thought he looked suspicious and broke both of his wrists. So, he was laid off as a bus driver because, hey he can't drive any longer. Guess he is now involved in a multi-million dollar lawsuit against everyone but the tidy bowl man! We had a long talk and yeah, he needs prayer for healing - physically, mentally, emotionally; but more importantly he needs discipleship. That later point is a sore point for me because none of the churches in my town invest in this. So what few Christians there are, are misled and/or babies in the faith - not that I am the rock of Gibraltar, but at least I did invest years into being discipled.
Well, need to get this posted. It is grand-kid day and they will be awaking soon.
Shhhhhhh, be wery, wery quiet ..... I think I hear the wustle of a wabbit ..... heh, heh, heh, heh!
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
One Thousand!
Yes, yesterday marked my 1,000th post on this blog!
Back in 2005, when this blog began I was a bizarre blogger and logged one thousand posts in just the first year! Yeah, by August 2006, I had reached 1,000 the first time and then abruptly my blog was hacked and destroyed. There is this, now quiet, apostate whom was making religious waves and well I disapprove of wolves impacting my spiritual children. And the war was on! They managed to destroy me five more times, take out my email at least a dozen times, bring down my computer only once - but for 27 days! Yeah, the good old times!
In those early days was a friend found I have not heard from in years now, but she was a God send in working with my first teenage daughter. Years later I tried to get her help again but alas I guess she is lost to the internet world. Sad, I had planned to visit her and her family one of these days.
Two of her friends went on to win "Golden Gummi Bear Awards" to people whom guessed a puzzle correctly. That was fun and were it not for all of my girls being teenagers at the same time, the fun of blogging might have lasted longer. By the time I got back to blogging, most of my readership had drifted away. Crazy times, that is for sure.
So to my readers, thank you for being there. Thank you for your questions and comments, even the horrible ones, your input is my motivation. Though I wish some of you would comment rather than email, others might enjoy your insight as well.
Happy One Thousand to me!
:)
Back in 2005, when this blog began I was a bizarre blogger and logged one thousand posts in just the first year! Yeah, by August 2006, I had reached 1,000 the first time and then abruptly my blog was hacked and destroyed. There is this, now quiet, apostate whom was making religious waves and well I disapprove of wolves impacting my spiritual children. And the war was on! They managed to destroy me five more times, take out my email at least a dozen times, bring down my computer only once - but for 27 days! Yeah, the good old times!
In those early days was a friend found I have not heard from in years now, but she was a God send in working with my first teenage daughter. Years later I tried to get her help again but alas I guess she is lost to the internet world. Sad, I had planned to visit her and her family one of these days.
Two of her friends went on to win "Golden Gummi Bear Awards" to people whom guessed a puzzle correctly. That was fun and were it not for all of my girls being teenagers at the same time, the fun of blogging might have lasted longer. By the time I got back to blogging, most of my readership had drifted away. Crazy times, that is for sure.
So to my readers, thank you for being there. Thank you for your questions and comments, even the horrible ones, your input is my motivation. Though I wish some of you would comment rather than email, others might enjoy your insight as well.
Happy One Thousand to me!
:)
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Thirteen Cents
My mind is a blank this morning. I had almost no sleep what-so-ever last night, too much leg pain, too much stress, too hot, too cold, then I had to be ready for a grandkids drop off at 5:30 am. Yawn! And I did not write ahead this week on this blog. So .....
I was flipping through the statistics charts which Blogger generates for blog owners. What country origins my readers are from (USA 1, Russia 2, Germany 3, then the other 15 countries I have single digit readers from), what path was used to reach my blog, what keywords were used which led to my blog, what posts people are reading, etc. Sort of mind numbing but it allows me to keep a pulse on what is of interest to people. (Which is often the strangeous of things!)
And then there are the robots whom are downloading my blog. Every week I have the same five downloading my posts, indexing them and then storing them for their readership. One of them is fun because it tells you what you are worth.
I think what it does is look at your average daily number of readers (695!) and then do some factoring for number of posts and number of comments. This then reflects your value for the blog, sort of what you ought to sell for I think.
Well, Google comes in at $20,000,000 and I am worth $ .13. Yeah, a whole thirteen cents! Yup, not going to get rich if I ever want to sell. LOL!
Just thought you might enjoy the humor of the day...
As you are reading this, depending upon where in the world you are; I am either gettring ready to take my niece out for a birthday lunch or am at lunch with her. Such fun! I love birthday lunches.
See you all back there tomorrow!
I was flipping through the statistics charts which Blogger generates for blog owners. What country origins my readers are from (USA 1, Russia 2, Germany 3, then the other 15 countries I have single digit readers from), what path was used to reach my blog, what keywords were used which led to my blog, what posts people are reading, etc. Sort of mind numbing but it allows me to keep a pulse on what is of interest to people. (Which is often the strangeous of things!)
And then there are the robots whom are downloading my blog. Every week I have the same five downloading my posts, indexing them and then storing them for their readership. One of them is fun because it tells you what you are worth.
I think what it does is look at your average daily number of readers (695!) and then do some factoring for number of posts and number of comments. This then reflects your value for the blog, sort of what you ought to sell for I think.
Well, Google comes in at $20,000,000 and I am worth $ .13. Yeah, a whole thirteen cents! Yup, not going to get rich if I ever want to sell. LOL!
Just thought you might enjoy the humor of the day...
As you are reading this, depending upon where in the world you are; I am either gettring ready to take my niece out for a birthday lunch or am at lunch with her. Such fun! I love birthday lunches.
See you all back there tomorrow!
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Frustration
One of my frustrations has been that the gossip, started back in August by my daughter, just will not die. It seems to have pretty well blanketed the area. As gossip goes, it has grown and gotten uglier - taking in interesting twist in which my daughter is now the perpetrator and I am the victim. Yes, it is still ugly, make no mistake but it is frustrating having to constantly address this problem with semi-acquaintances about every two or three days!
Within what had been our church, I am stuck in a frustrating position. I have no one I can really talk to about the problems without breaking my oaths to my daughter or having her status questioned by the hierarchy. I fully intend upon having her restored within this body and my family - so there will be no hint of anything negative from me. What she did to herself, there is little I can do about that - except refuse to denigrate my daughter. I make no bones in front of anyone, she is my daughter and she will remain so. I am sure I am thought of as quite mad.
But, this has placed me in the awkward position of not being able to really talk to anyone, because I can not trust that what I might say - would not be splattered across the church as soon as I am in my car. So, I had to do something to express myself and get my blood pressure within reason or I was going to explode!
Well, if my Lettere's helped with my blood pressure quite a bit, trust me - an unknown, completely unfindable blog, where I can say what I want, when I want, how I want ..... well it has brought me much pleasure and some peace as well.
Okay, so you start an unlinked blog. Totally fake name, totally fake everything. What are the odds that you will be read at all? Mighty small I say.
Oh yeah? Try 40 readers and 25 comments within the first hour! When I saw that, I had to go back and kill the comments! I had people asking which sex I was, where I lived and if I was available! OMG! I somehow hit a nerve out there! But, I will not answer - I am keeping this one completely hidden. Besides, in my culture, were I to actually speak my mind - or - my heart, it would be dishonorable for anyone to be able to identify me and eventually find whom and what I am speaking about!
Therapy through blogging I guess.
Oh yeah, one day I will let daughter have the keys to the blogs, so she can delete, keep, print or whatever them..... They are a piece of me that I can give her, now that she is so far away.
Within what had been our church, I am stuck in a frustrating position. I have no one I can really talk to about the problems without breaking my oaths to my daughter or having her status questioned by the hierarchy. I fully intend upon having her restored within this body and my family - so there will be no hint of anything negative from me. What she did to herself, there is little I can do about that - except refuse to denigrate my daughter. I make no bones in front of anyone, she is my daughter and she will remain so. I am sure I am thought of as quite mad.
But, this has placed me in the awkward position of not being able to really talk to anyone, because I can not trust that what I might say - would not be splattered across the church as soon as I am in my car. So, I had to do something to express myself and get my blood pressure within reason or I was going to explode!
Well, if my Lettere's helped with my blood pressure quite a bit, trust me - an unknown, completely unfindable blog, where I can say what I want, when I want, how I want ..... well it has brought me much pleasure and some peace as well.
Okay, so you start an unlinked blog. Totally fake name, totally fake everything. What are the odds that you will be read at all? Mighty small I say.
Oh yeah? Try 40 readers and 25 comments within the first hour! When I saw that, I had to go back and kill the comments! I had people asking which sex I was, where I lived and if I was available! OMG! I somehow hit a nerve out there! But, I will not answer - I am keeping this one completely hidden. Besides, in my culture, were I to actually speak my mind - or - my heart, it would be dishonorable for anyone to be able to identify me and eventually find whom and what I am speaking about!
Therapy through blogging I guess.
Oh yeah, one day I will let daughter have the keys to the blogs, so she can delete, keep, print or whatever them..... They are a piece of me that I can give her, now that she is so far away.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Debating
For a week now my free time has been devoted to working on a series of notes from one of my ancestors - or so the story goes. Written in about 1350 +/- a few years, by whom is now a nameless knight, I have ponders his writings for about two years. First, Old German really sucks to work with, the Fraktur codice is so much gibberish to me!
In fact, were it not that Martin Luther also had a copy and published it, which was to be translated into English about 100 years ago, I would be sorely wounded in doing my translation! Luther took it from handwritten to block printed Fraktur. So, I can compare word by word the path from the fragile leaf, to the block Fraktur, to a very odd English. Next step is to make it something readable to today's English reader. Why?
Well, this is a very good look into a Renascence mindset, with a post dark ages look at Roman Catholic thought at the time. Lets face it, the 14th century was not exactly a highlight in anyone's history book!
So I am working on how to develop the site. How to best represent the thoughts expressed. How best to make a commentary of them, for they are quite convoluted in places! And once the 200 leaves are done - then what? Would anyone be interested in it? Or care? Or would I be descended upon by - uhm, theology challenged types?
And to what end?
Yeah, it is a great deal of work, I sincerely doubt that there will be any juicy finds - other than I can put the writings into the context of what was going on at the time - and compare time frame to deeds. Which ought to be quite fun!
So, I guess I will stop here and post this for tomorrow, a few hours away. Across the week you will probably see a new blog appearing on my profile as I test layout and features I want to use.
In fact, were it not that Martin Luther also had a copy and published it, which was to be translated into English about 100 years ago, I would be sorely wounded in doing my translation! Luther took it from handwritten to block printed Fraktur. So, I can compare word by word the path from the fragile leaf, to the block Fraktur, to a very odd English. Next step is to make it something readable to today's English reader. Why?
Well, this is a very good look into a Renascence mindset, with a post dark ages look at Roman Catholic thought at the time. Lets face it, the 14th century was not exactly a highlight in anyone's history book!
So I am working on how to develop the site. How to best represent the thoughts expressed. How best to make a commentary of them, for they are quite convoluted in places! And once the 200 leaves are done - then what? Would anyone be interested in it? Or care? Or would I be descended upon by - uhm, theology challenged types?
And to what end?
Yeah, it is a great deal of work, I sincerely doubt that there will be any juicy finds - other than I can put the writings into the context of what was going on at the time - and compare time frame to deeds. Which ought to be quite fun!
So, I guess I will stop here and post this for tomorrow, a few hours away. Across the week you will probably see a new blog appearing on my profile as I test layout and features I want to use.
Friday, August 31, 2012
It Is Finished
I finished documenting all of the charges against me and my rebuttal for each, under my letters to my daughter. Yeah, I have a notebook full from the conversations in my review at church. When you are dealing with formal charges, on spiritual matters, preciseness is important, as is honesty. I even gave a freebee to daughter of what I was really guilty of. If the mud is going to be raked, I am honest enough to help with the raking. Full disclosure is just that - full.
And in that light, that is why I published them. Not to bring shame on what daughter has done, for she is hardly accountable for her actions at this time, nor on what I have been accused of, but to show through disclosure, God's ways and how I need you to pray for my daughter. With enough prayer, God will act, one way or another - to free her or to free me.....
Have a great holiday, one and all! I can hardly wait for tomorrow to post my music selection for the month!
And in that light, that is why I published them. Not to bring shame on what daughter has done, for she is hardly accountable for her actions at this time, nor on what I have been accused of, but to show through disclosure, God's ways and how I need you to pray for my daughter. With enough prayer, God will act, one way or another - to free her or to free me.....
Have a great holiday, one and all! I can hardly wait for tomorrow to post my music selection for the month!
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Thoughts on Blogs
I have had a number of blogs through the years. My first was a blog dedicated to the adoption of and parenting of four older Russian children I had adopted. I actually won an award with the one from Yahoo in 2000! That was both unexpected and personally rewarding. However the cost of the hosting grew to exceed my finances.
I moved to MySpace and ended up in a church war, with my account hacked by haters and then deleted by "Tom". Yeah, never take on the pastor of another church and point out the error of his ways!l Yeah, the largest church in the entire area. He could not attack me publicly, so got me killed instead. As for Tom, when he sent me a friend request on FaceBook, I happily clicked the "Nope, you suck" button.
So, I moved to Blogger in 2004 and what followed were several years of the same, I lost the first five blogs and hundreds of posts - probably by the same people behind my MySpace death. But, I got smarter as time passed and Blogger was not exactly a great deal of help through this travail.
I recently consolidated all of my blogs under Blogger and this account. And it is darn interesting to see the statistics!
This blog runs about 497 readers daily. In order of sheer numbers: Russia, USA, India, China, Germany, Switzerland (hi cousins!), Malaysia, Philippines (Rissa!) and Brazil.
Diariuo di un Padre was a hidden site since I created in November of last year. It is only intended for my now estranged daughter, actually as a gift to her so as to remember a brief point in her life - with sadness and joy. But, since she seems bent on killing me in her life, I made it public and gave her mother the address to pass on to her. I am certain she did not pass it on, I should think the daughter I know would contact me, if her mother had. In any event, I was amazed to find that in one month of being public, it continues to hold at 30 +/- readers a day. The stories are meaningless to anyone but her, so I am clueless what people are finding in it to keep them reading.
Same is basically true of Lettere a una Figlia, the follow-on to my diary for my daughter. Although it seems to mostly deal with me dealing with the mess daughter has made of my life, so far. But, this situation has been extremely hard for me to deal with. And, I have been amazed to find that just slightly over one hundred a day are reading this blog! What the heck? Perhaps a heart's anguish is more interesting to people than I would have thought! Yeah, watch a Christian sociopath -soap opera- crater himself over having his heart ripped out and eaten before his dying eyes..... Good reading apparently for Russians and Chinese. Go figure.
As for my father's site, I took it down because I had used it to resolve my angst at his life and death. He was a man of mysteries to me and it took that little blog for me to sort out my feelings. I killed it when I was able to come to grips with life. But, I actually got emails to put it back up! Seems that amongst German's, first person experiences by someone whom had been in on the leading edge of technical creation during the war as well as surrounding the entire issue of the camps, is wanted! Sure surprised me. It still has a strong readership.
Someone recently was arguing to me that the entire "blog" experience was dead, dying and over.
Seems not....
I moved to MySpace and ended up in a church war, with my account hacked by haters and then deleted by "Tom". Yeah, never take on the pastor of another church and point out the error of his ways!l Yeah, the largest church in the entire area. He could not attack me publicly, so got me killed instead. As for Tom, when he sent me a friend request on FaceBook, I happily clicked the "Nope, you suck" button.
So, I moved to Blogger in 2004 and what followed were several years of the same, I lost the first five blogs and hundreds of posts - probably by the same people behind my MySpace death. But, I got smarter as time passed and Blogger was not exactly a great deal of help through this travail.
I recently consolidated all of my blogs under Blogger and this account. And it is darn interesting to see the statistics!
This blog runs about 497 readers daily. In order of sheer numbers: Russia, USA, India, China, Germany, Switzerland (hi cousins!), Malaysia, Philippines (Rissa!) and Brazil.
Diariuo di un Padre was a hidden site since I created in November of last year. It is only intended for my now estranged daughter, actually as a gift to her so as to remember a brief point in her life - with sadness and joy. But, since she seems bent on killing me in her life, I made it public and gave her mother the address to pass on to her. I am certain she did not pass it on, I should think the daughter I know would contact me, if her mother had. In any event, I was amazed to find that in one month of being public, it continues to hold at 30 +/- readers a day. The stories are meaningless to anyone but her, so I am clueless what people are finding in it to keep them reading.
Same is basically true of Lettere a una Figlia, the follow-on to my diary for my daughter. Although it seems to mostly deal with me dealing with the mess daughter has made of my life, so far. But, this situation has been extremely hard for me to deal with. And, I have been amazed to find that just slightly over one hundred a day are reading this blog! What the heck? Perhaps a heart's anguish is more interesting to people than I would have thought! Yeah, watch a Christian sociopath -soap opera- crater himself over having his heart ripped out and eaten before his dying eyes..... Good reading apparently for Russians and Chinese. Go figure.
As for my father's site, I took it down because I had used it to resolve my angst at his life and death. He was a man of mysteries to me and it took that little blog for me to sort out my feelings. I killed it when I was able to come to grips with life. But, I actually got emails to put it back up! Seems that amongst German's, first person experiences by someone whom had been in on the leading edge of technical creation during the war as well as surrounding the entire issue of the camps, is wanted! Sure surprised me. It still has a strong readership.
Someone recently was arguing to me that the entire "blog" experience was dead, dying and over.
Seems not....
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