Party

Last night there was a birthday party for one of "my boys".  It was his 22nd birthday and his fiancee invited me to the party at a local "brew house".

So, as I am walking in the door, he is coming out.  His hair is combed oddly and he is now sporting an earring.  I was not sure what to say once I saw the blonde hanging off of his arm ...  He stepped around me with no recognition in his eyes.  Did he have a twin?  I know that in his family there is a set of boy and girl twins.  But, I thought I knew the entire family for the past many years.  Weird.

I join the party and mention the weirdness of seeing his twin, everyone laughed, he didn't have a twin.  So a laughingly good start but I have a broken jaw where each smile and each laugh is very painful.

Then our waitress comes - and my jaw literally bounced off the table - one of "my girls" from so many years ago it is embarrassing to say!  What are the odds?  This was the younger sister of the guy my oldest daughter had a major crush on ten years ago!  And, she is here?  Wow, what a very small world!

Of course no weirder than running into a clerk at the local Fred Meyers and commenting that i had met a girl in Northern Russia with the same name and blonde hair - yup, it was her, now 15 years older.  She had been adopted, moved to America and then moved here to go to college!  Wow, extremely small world!

But back the party, it was just his family, his fiancee and then two friends - both named Kris!  I have met so few through the years with my name that it was sort of weird sitting by someone with the same name as me.  And it was fun because he was just as warped as me.

An hour later it was all over, which sort of surprised me.  I shook hands all around, something I really do not like to do and when I came to his sister, I shook in the polite female grip and she complained, "No I want a real one!"  I looked at her mother, whom shrugged - so I took her hand, flipped it horizontal and gently kissed her hand.

Oh you should have seen and heard the uproar of laughter from that one!  And she just stood there stunned and turned almost vermillion in color.

I was home in time to catch NCIS, take my pills and fall asleep for 13 hours!  Guess I needed that.  But, I am still chuckling over the shade of red she turned ...

King of Klutz

Yes, my reign as the King of Klutz continues uncontested!  My latest triumph made Monday very memorable.

 Would you believe I was attempting to unlock my front door, when I abruptly found myself face down on my porch?  Yeah, I found it equally as surprising!

Two sprained ankles, damaged left calf muscle, two banged up knees, left hip, the entire spinal column, left shoulder, and unfortunately both sides of my jaw are now broken... And I am grand kid sitting this week! Which just does not seem to go well with muscle relaxants and pain killers! "sure kids, go play with the knives, oh by the way, that is a shotgun ..."

So, just trying to maintained until youngest daughter gets here about 4 and I can take real pain killers and she can watch the mice!

Come on 4!

Future Tense

As I mentioned yesterday, I decided to take a hard look back through my mind, using an adults eye to view those memories and see if I could figure out whether I was ever normal or not.  Yeah, I found the answer.

It is hard to view beyond third grade.  Second grade was when I and several others were "broken" but no one believed us until the casualties numbered quite high.  Probably the only thing saving me was my complete ability to just tune out from what was going on around me or to me.  So, looking at first grade backwards, lots of events, no emotions concerning any of them - except for moments of immense anger and frustration at the treatment I received in my family.

The US military's interest in me began when I was in fourth grade.  So, perhaps when they figured out how broken father was?  Then decided to subject my sister and I to lots of testing?  I know that my sister did not have any testing after 8th grade, so I am just guessing they figured out she was either normal or just an irritating teenaged girl...

When we moved to France, I thought myself quite crazy.  Normal things could no longer be expressed normally and I knew things, for no reason at all.

For instance, I had a globe; I would spin it and then think about the country it would stop at.  India was a problem, anytime the globe stopped there, and it did quite often, I could not say India in any language, instead the over-riding thought of "Map, Outreach Map, India" would roar through my mind.  What on Earth!?!?  And this continued until 1994, when I met an interesting guy whom wanted to run an orphanage in Northern India.  He had a mission called, "Outreach Map".  My eyebrows raised quite a bit, the answer to a thirty year old question?

Not being superstitious, but I did start a campaign to raise funds for what became Haven of Hope Orphanage.  And, I have continued to support them, even in my poverty through the past three years.  (Just in case you are interested in helping them as well: Outreach Map - India, POB 1801, Walnut, California, 91788-1801)  And Paul Wiig, the man I had met, continued on as an acquaintance for now just shy of twenty years!

Hmmm....

The other strong impressions were certain dreams.  They all had images I remember but the over-riding aspect is one of emotion!  Yeah, I whom had no emotion at all, felt something in dreams!  And I liked dreams for that very reason.  Peace, something I desired so desperately and love, something I knew nothing of what so ever.  The images?  Sunshine by the beach or snow flakes falling past a female face in the woods.  But no way of tying these emotions and images together much less knowing what they meant.

And, there was a point, a day to be exact that came together at the beach.  I knew the day, the moment, the events, I knew what I was going to feel!  And I was terrified.  Shortly thereafter, that bud of an emotion was destroyed and I knew I was better off without it.  There is only betrayal and pain in emotion.

No the snow image has not occurred, yet.  I know it so well - more emotion and peace than I have ever experienced in this past year.  So, I know where I belong, I know what it feels like to trust without fear, to love without betrayal, to finally belong somewhere. And I am am not there yet ... sigh ...

So, the short answer is: no, I was never normal but in my dreams I was ...

Pirate Radio

I noted last week that amongst my lost posts was the movie review for Pirate Radio, the short of it: skip this work of fiction - reality was far more exciting and a whole lot less Haute Culture-ish.  But, that is not what this post is about, even though it is entitled as such.

It was fall 1964, a lanky 5'6" German was removed from his life with his Danish great-uncle on a dairy to a small town on the French, Lux, Flemish borders.  My father had worked his way out of weapons design to implementation, hence our relocation.  For me it was death.  I was 10, on the eve of my teen years, many would say I had already been there for months, if not a year.  I did not speak French, I spoke Yiddish, German and English.  I had nothing in common with anyone in my new village.  Most were laborers for the national train network; anyone with an artist bent or dairy background was not going to fit in - and my parents could not understand my "problems".

My first job was to crawl into the third floor rafters of our 1700's home and string 1.5 miles of copper wire (liberated from the the local NATO base trash) then attach this to my radio.  It kept me from my family, it hid me, it gave me safety in the darkness of the roof.  No fights up there, but once back out, everyone was in my face, no one understood.

But on my shortwave radio, there were those whom did, the disc jockeys of 199, on the medium wave band.  Faceless, but they understood teenagers, they understood music, they understood who and where I was.  They became my family, since I had been forcibly removed my mine to even be here.  They gave comfort, they gave advice, they were transparent adults - talking about life, love and the universe.  It made sense.  It was all I had.

Radio Caroline was a fishing trawler anchored off the Manx coast.  Outfitted with a127' antenna array, it primarily broadcast to southern England but by spill over, those of us with a good radio and antenna matrix, could get it as well.  I listened to them loyally from start up through the wave-length wars with the British Government, numerous winter storms, their relocation to off the Dutch coast and initial shutdown by Dutch bankers for non-payment for their equipment.  Unfortunately, their restart would come after I was now relocated to utter death as a human in the swamps of South Carolina in 1969.  But my shortwave continued to keep me occupied.  And, Caroline was never the same.

As I watched the film last week, I saw that the movie had nothing to offer me - I had lived that history, I knew it by heart.  I had loved Radio Caroline, I knew their ship names, the DJ's, their history, every one of the jingles - including those they did not include in the movie.  Things which I can never lose as long as my brain still functions.  So, the film goes away, the memories stay...

And as I remembered those years, I continued even further back in my mind and considered my nature.  Was I ever normal?  Had I been broken by something but once was normal?  Was I healing now or was this truly a gift of God?  Could I remember, now as an adult, and review my early years?  And the answer surprised me.

Musical Saturday Morning

I was going to post something from my childhood, but then realized how it would be very meaningless to most of my readers, save for old Europeans like me!  Maybe I will tell you about it next week ...  But, what to post instead for my Saturday music?

Disclaimer Alert!  Okay, just because I link to a song by Blondie, does not mean I support drug abuse nor the concept that Debbie Harry somehow survives.  If I was to link to Britney Spears, would not be an endorsement of any part of her life or life style.  In like fashion, I think this man is incredibly talented - completely whacked as an individual - but with an exceptional falsetto voice.  Yes, it is Klaus Nomi, I only mention this since some may now not wish to now play the video - but it is worth viewing.

However, he was a talented entertainer and his voice - I think - was shown for what it was capable of when he did his first public appearance in 1978.  Okay, you are going to be playing to a punk rock crowd, the previous "acts" contained many - uhm - appalling performances (if that is what you want to call them!) and now it is the end of the show.  Yeah, the sponsors were not too sure how this was going to go over with the crowd and after the curtains had closed for the final act and the applause had died down - the curtains suddenly opened again.

There stood a man, dressed in a black evening gown with a plastic overcoat and high collar.  He stepped out onto the stage amid the cat calls from the audience and, well, the rest became history:



Nomi had selected the aria from the 1877 opera, Samson and Delila, "My heart opens to your voice".  A beautiful love song.  And if you watched the video, you heard a punk rock crowd go from cat calls to tears in four minutes. 

At the time a 100 year old song and they say art does not transcend generations!  Yeah, the crowd responded.

Before God

Timothy is in Ephesus, a Church under attack from the start by Satan.
Paul is writing to his convert, whom he is giving the pastorate of the Church to.

So, I want to pick up with 1 Timothy 5:17 - 6:2.

Elders
By nature non of us are ones to submit, we lack respect for others, relationships are a problem.  Yet we have to choose wisely our elders because they have to be willing to submit, to hold in respect others, to maintain relationships.  Their responsibility is directly the care of the widows, orphans and other leaders in the Church.  I have yet to see a church outside of third world nations where the Church actually does their duties towards widows and orphans in the Church!

If you feel no condemnation here - then your Church is a rare exception or you need to study yesterday's post again.

Pay Properly
Really?  Paul writes to Timothy to tell the church to pay him what he is worth?  Really?
I guess even 2,000 years ago, people were cheapskates and not wanting to pay their ministers.  Admittedly, it was not a new concept in Ephesus, given that it was a pagan ritual site with plenty of taxes and gifts required to support the temples and bathes.  So, what was the point?

Perhaps a challenge for the congregation of Ephesus to make a choice with their drachmas?  Give to the Church or support the pagan shrines.  Make a choice but do not straddle the fence and claim to be a Christian while starving out your pastor.  Could be, heaven knows, I have seen more than one youth pastor starved out of the ministry - and even a few pastors as well!

Chose Carefully
1 Timothy 3:6, 10
The Church must choose carefully - their future reputation is on the line here.
The leadership must not include new converts.  Even I was to learn the value of that one, the year I became a Christian and my church talked me into being a Youth Pastor.  I told them it was a bad idea, but they did not care.  I thought it was because I was special (but it was because they were beyond cheap!).

Candidates must be trusted.  That same church a year later was to see its Eldership, almost to the man, go to prison and jail for everything from embezzlement to securities fraud.  It was a marvel to witness - and to then understand that God does hold those whom would represent Him, responsible.

Witness Well
Your mission on this earth, one a Christian, is to bring glory to God.  And the only thing that brings glory to God is our lives, lived for him, and not ourselves.
We are all equal before God.

Just as a side note, having said that we are all equate is to also say that we are not all equal.  If we have not made our peace with our Creator and accepted Jesus' payment for our rebellion against God - then we are all equal before God - we are all toast.
On the other hand, if we are Christians and have made that choice to place our hope in Jesus' payment, then we are all equal before God - except God will see His Son, not our sinning faces, when we come up for judgement!
And just as someone, through a long line of witnesses throughout history, lead to our conversion, so it becomes our responsibility to do the same for others in reach them for God as well.

In Training

You, I, all of us, are in constant training; training to reach Godliness in our lives - it is the goal.

For as much as we might like it, you can not coast into Godliness.  You will not accidentally discover it - it is something that you must be in training for.

Godliness Is A Big Deal
 If you feed on the world - the things of this world, then you will be damaged spiritually - I have seen this far to often, even with my own childeren.  Too many of us were never discipled when we became Christians, in fact, many of us were purposefully lead astray by "elders" whom may not have even understand the difference themselves.

Most will never actually achieve Godliness, you must be in constant training, it is the goal to which we strive.

Training is not in reading books about the Bible or listening to talks/lectures/sermons on the Bible - it is your purposeful study, meditation and prayer over what you are studying.

I know some are terribly confused and need something to help them.  I have never been let down by Hendrickson's series on the Bible.  Yeah, huge and wordy but it is assembled by some pretty straight men.

Understand, You Have A Choice
There are no excuses, "I don't have time!", sorry Godliness is a choice that you can make, that you must make!  Why?  Because it is your witness to the world around you, if you can show no difference between them and yourself, well guess what?  No one will listen to you!

I read a few months back that the average American home has four Bibles.   The average one ...  Okay, so how many homes actually read their Bible?  Surveys says, only 3%.  Okay again, not everyone are Christians, but supposedly this is a nation of a great many Christians.  By the way if 3% reflects real Christians then guess what! There are only 9,000,000 of us!  No wonder we have lost this nation!

But, I am willing to bet there are millions of Christians, betrayed by their faith, lost, unable to find God, because they never read their Bible and only know what they have been told! 

Be Committed
It takes discipline, that ugly "D" word of religion, but it also has a place in Christianity - to discipline yourself to be trained in the faith.  Paul wrote on this in the terms of being an Olympian - the CONSTANT training, the fight to be your very best, to have the necessary drive to WIN.  And winning is after-all everything at the Olympics.

You must take the time.
You must be committed to change.
You must be willing to fail.
You must force yourself to get back up...

To The End
Remain in training.
Hold on to your commitment.
Accept discipline when subjected to it.
Be willing to disciple others.

Best part is, you will never be there.  The minute you think you have, well welcome to pride and you just failed and get to start over ...

Yeah

Critic's Choice

Ralph Connors, a missionary minister to the Canadian Rocky Mountain region, told the tale of how a pastor was called to a small church to replace the suddenly vanished pastor.

His first week there he observed that the men of the community would snag logs in the river and then use them for firewood, lumber or even haul to a mill some distance away, after judicious trimming.  And he thought, "How convenient."  And preached on the bounty of God's gifts.  The congregation added hearty "Amen's".

The second week, he observed that it was the choicest woods being hauled to mill, which sort of made sense but there were so many, he had to wonder.  And he preached on the abundance of God's blessing and the need to remember the tithe.  The congregation added hearty "Amen's".

The third week, he observed that many of the logs hauled out of the river had been cut by hand.  Where were they coming from?  Who could afford to lose so much lumber?  And he preached on the evils of coveting another man's property.  The congregation added hearty "Amen's".

The fourth week he took a trip upstream one night and observed the men of his congregation pushing logs out of the mill pond's supply and out into the river.  And he preached on the Hell fire awaiting those whom covet, steal and lie!

A new minister arrived the next week to replace the suddenly departed pastor.

Connors' point was practical and to the point: tell me about God and no one will have a problem, tell me about sin and no one will have a problem again, but tell me about my sin and we suddenly have a problem.

********************

This idea carries forward into the realm of sermons, lessons, events, books, etc:

• Provide a great sermon or lesson on the Holy Spirit or the reality of God - no one will come.
• Provide the meaningless drivel of seeing how Revelation is today - everyone will come.
• Had a solid presentation on real spiritual warfare and see the lowest numbers ever.
• Promise to have a chills and thrills presentation on evil or demons - everyone will come!

Point is, Satan really hates to have his ways known or shared.

• He really does not want you to know that he really is real!
• He really does not want you to know that you are empowered have victory,.
• He really likes it best when you, as a Christian, manage to just stay asleep.

So, what I am leading to?  Some of my posts are all too real and of value, some to encourage you to do what is right, and yeah, some fun ones too.

But, the lowest read of all of my postings are those which will are of actual value!

With you, my reader base, there are currently 795 possible readers for any given post.
The ones I think of as most valuable will garner 4 reads immediately and perhaps 20 across all time!
The ones I put the least stock in - into the thousands - across years of reading!

Satan, Evil, is real and very much alive and I am constantly amazed at its ability to draw my returning readers from the truth.  Just as in Connor's day, 100 years ago, no one wants to hear they have something they need to do.  Actually, even in Jesus' day, the rich young ruler was no more happy to hear what he still needed to do something as well.

Interesting ...

Video Viewing

For my casual reader, I am in the midst this year of viewing every film in my library (over 6,000 of them!) to decide whether or not it is a keeper.  So far about 20% have been joining the heap to go bye-bye.

So some of the interesting changes since last I brought up this subject:

Blood Diamond, originally I kept to remember my RSAS friends by, now because I understand the character.
El Coronado, now liked for a completely different reason. Keeper.
El Mariachi, what a quirky film, it was special order years ago, now trash pile.
Ninja Assassin, used to like, now please go away!
Outrageous Fortune, once a winner with me, now on the goodbye pile.
Vampires Suck, okay, will now have a category of keeper-no grandchildren allowed to view.
World War Z, awesome, badly done film, a keeper.

So, a new category is now formed, movies I will keep but not in the general collection the grand kids can reach.  Vampire's Suck was so horrible, so funny, so embarrassing, yeah.  But, there is the entire Trancer's series that I have wondered what to do with, they still appeal to me in its weird wicked look at the future, time travel, pseudo-vampires and yes, evil Santa Claus'.  I am still laughing ...

I am sure someone somewhere is smacking their forehead but at least I am cleaning out 20% of the ones I own and just how bad, you have to ask, are they when you see the ones I am keeping!?!?

Really?

I really like last Saturday's video, it has something to say about the me that exists today - not like I am going to change my mind about blonds nor wanna dance!  Ah, where do people get these ideas!?!?!?  And yes, Kris was asked if he was "okay" or outright, insane ...

So, I sat Swedish Rocket Scientist down and told him to view, without comment to the end, then tell me what his reaction is.

He had no reaction.  Actually he was terrified that someone could conceive of such a video!

He liked the miners, he laughed when no one thought it odd they came through the floor, he was completely lost through the rest of the video.  No connections at all.  And I sat and considered this .... no connection at all.  He could not even guess at the not so subtle meaning.  Really?

Dutchman, refused to watch it, too busy.  I think he would have gotten it but it would have been equally as meaningless to him because that is not where he is in life.  Really?

So, I polled some of my guys and the viewpoints mostly ran around the idea of grabbing at an opportunity and not letting go, once it presents itself.  Really?  The other comment is, "what is that hot blonde's name?"  Really? 

And I am considering this: I am surrounded by those in a culture whom can no longer understand symbolism ...  Nor discern the role played by the blonde.  Really?

As for me, it is extremely easy to see how I fit into this video and what the message - and only friend saw and understood.  Really?

Musical Saturday Morning

Okay, The Avalanches are an Australian group a little on the trailing edge of reality, however, when they do a video - it is not going to be normal!  And, this video is not in the normal for something I like either, however ...  well, I will just let that be enough said ... because it does mean something to me ...

Sex Slave Trade

It was August 1974.  I took a trip to visit my father in Colorado and spend some time with my two sisters and two brothers.  The youngest brother was off in Texas on a trip, the oldest of my sisters was up in Wyoming, the youngest sister was nowhere to be found and that left the oldest brother to hang with.

So I asked where Carmen was, the youngest of the sisters.  He old me that she had gone to Wichita for a school pre-season football game.  She was a cheerleader, so yeah, that made sense.  Of course, then the tale continued on about how she had been kidnapped.  I was horrified and more than willing to hunt them down and quietly bring her home and bury "them".

But, for as much as I loved my brother, he was a doper, so I had to check this with my stepmother.  Yeah, the story was true and she could not have cared less ...

I was 19 then, Carmen was 15, what on earth could anyone want with a teenage girl?!?!?  Too weird.  Of course a few years later, God woke me up to the whole white slave trade in young blond girls being trafficked to the Middle East.

In 1981, I was in Tempe, Arizona, where I ran a mining company out of and as I walked across a parking lot I saw a Polaroid picture laying on the ground.  I picked it up - it was of a blond woman, bound, gagged and laying the back of a windowless grey van.  The same van description given about the vehicle which had grabbed my sister 7 years earlier!  I was stunned.

Yeah, I called the cops and they explained to me about the slave trafficking in blond girls.  I was now ill, for now I understood what had become of my sister.  Make no mistake, if I knew where she was or whom was responsible - they would have been dead that week.  I was beyond murderous rage.  I even called back to Wichita and talked with the cops about anything being done to find my sister: nope, but there had been 11 more abductions with the same vehicle being described!  They would not let me have a  list of grey vans in a three state area ...

As for the photo I had found, she had been grabbed in San Diego the day before.  Probably headed for Florida, the cop commented.

Sunday, thirty-two years later, I popped into a meeting about something called Rapha House.  Sounded like another recovery center or something, there are lots of them around here, but I was willing to hear their sales pitch and see if there is something I can do to help them.

Turns out that they run sort of a half way house concept in Cambodia, Thailand and Haiti for girls freed from the sex trade.  Girls bought usually as pre-teens from their families and then, well YEAH!  Some can be kidnapped from their owners or enticed to seek shelter, some brought outright by the local police because even they can no longer offer safety to them.

There were only four guys at the meeting and she commented that this was an unusually high number  - so she spoke on how this sex slave trade culture can not be conquered until men's hearts can be turned to God.  She hammered guys pretty hard.  It made me smile.

I stayed after and talked with the director for at least half and hour.  A very genuine, concerned, woman with a heart for those trapped into the hopelessness of the sex trade.

She sort of agreed with me that there was no hope in ever recovering my sister, 39 years have passed since her abduction.  She would be 54 now and in a decade of searching the internet there is no one by that name that could even reasonably resemble her.  But, I am the optimist so I do hope to find her, rescue her if needed and let her know about the God I discovered while I was away at college that previous year.

There is little I can do to help this Rapha House project, no money - the IRS is currently garnishing me (for the next three years!) and too far away for me to help volunteer with their data center in Missouri.  But, this much I can do:

You can check them out and see if there is a way you can fit them into your giving or your church's support list!

WWW.RAPHAHOUSE.ORG

Stephanie Freed
POB 1569
Joplin, MO
64802-1569

Thanks.


And yet again, dear readers, I need to remind you younger men that when you hop from one site to another, a list of your previous viewing sites goes with you and is passed by Google to the receiving site as part of the analytical data - just in case I need to know, for whatever reason, how to better draw you to my site!  And, again, there is a flood of porno sites coming with your data and being stored by Google!

However, there was one new twist this time, a site from a nearby town.  When I click on the reference I do not know it is a porno site, just a place someone has visited.  So, it is with dismay when I see one of my friend's daughters, er - ah - uhm - displayed.  We will be having some words concerning this and if you are local to me, and you know whom you are, she is under age this would qualify as child porn.  So, when the Fed's find out about this site and then dump the server using addresses - yours will come up - and thanks to you so will mine.  I am not worried because I do not surf porn - so my nic-id will be of no concern.  You apparently do, so  your nic-id will be splattered all over the place.  Want arrested?  Keep surfing child porn!

However, you do need to address this sin area in your life.  I assume you know me locally, hence your reading my site.  However, you need to free  yourself of this slavery and the damage done to these young women/girls.  Corner me, talk to me, one on one - let us conquer this problem in your life now - before it becomes death to your soul...  I am very serious here about my being concerned about your eternity dude ...

Greed By Any Other Name

I commented recently about Dutchman and his insecurity over wealth.  Yeah, the most charitable man I know and yet starved to acquire wealth!  Not a judgment call on my part, just an observation.  I am glad he can acquire wealth, I am just concerned over what is behind this ...

And on Sunday I was thinking on 1 Timothy 6:9-10 and remembering my comments about my friend the other day.


You would sell your soul to your company, work the long hours, for only the promise of reward or hope for it.
You become a target for temptation.
You will be driven by impulse.
You will fall into the trap of debt, credit cards, chasing after materialism.
You acquire and desire senseless things of no real value to you now or ever.
You will chase after money, power, sex, things to reflect position or wealth to others.
You will lose your sensitivity to God, money and things are neutral but how you use them can distance you from God.
You will regret chasing materialism...
This is all 100% preventable.

Think of the big Lottery winners, virtually none of them were able to retain even a percentage of the wealth they acquired!
Only God is capable of ruling your life without ruining or destroying you!

When you consider that you will be leaving this life with nothing you can take with you, save for those deposits you have made in Heaven, then it should behoove us to look to those things we can do that do have eternal meaning.

Your investment in others is the only thing of any value to you eternally.

Your relationships, witnessing, care, concern, prayers, physical helps for others, etc.  I am sure you can add many more items to a list of things we can of eternal value, to invest in others.

However, we must remember the rich young ruler - someone whom was capable of having done it all right.  He had kept the law - as hard as that is to have imagined!

Yet, Jesus knew that his heart was not right with God - because his hope was in his wealth and possessions.  If he could just walk away, his place would have been with Jesus.  And he did walk away, but not from things, he walked away from Jesus and the life He could be given, not earn.

And so I thought on Dutchman and his benevolent life compared with his quest for riches.  I now realized that he had bought into the lie - "I will be rewarded with greater riches based upon how generous I am to others".  And I was stunned to have finally realized that even the basis for his generosity was the desire for greater wealth!  Crestfallen, I have thought on this, this week and decided perhaps there is a lesson in here for each of us.  Hence, why I wrote this.

Why do you help others?  Is it because you believe God will return the blessing back to you (Hinduism), because they in turn will bless another because of what you did for them (Buddhism), is it because they are family and you must (Judaism and Islam), or is it because you were told to be like Jesus and take compassion upon even the least of all ... ?  (and the least, in Biblical terms, refers to the widows and orphans because they have no advocate - except for you.)

Something to think about.

257

So, in September, since I do have a broken jaw - as it is so impolite as to remind me from time to time - I restarted my diet with high hopes of getting said weight down by August for the big hunting trip!

Yesterday, I was weighed at the cardiologist - on their scum sucking swine lying scale - and I came in at 257!

What the heck!?!?!?!?!

I have a broken jaw, I can not even chew if I had to!  I can barely open my mouth without horrible pain and I gained 16 pounds?  How is that even possible?

So, what to do?  I have to eat three times a day because of all of those pills, I am already at small portions - like a skinny peanut butter sandwich as a meal or even a banana!  How do you eat less than a banana without rotting your stomach out on these pills!?!  I don't think it is possible.

Cut myself down to half a sandwich this morning, large meal was lunch with three tacos, and dinner will be a skinny sandwich.  No much in calorie land there .....

And here I was accusing my son of shrinking my pants!

Sigh .....  I want a steak .....  I dream of friends taking me out for dinner and I take large mouthfuls of food!  This really sucks.

Only 10 more months of being good and maybe I will be able to eat again, one day, often ... :)

(as an added comment - that skinny sandwich I planned on recracked the joint ... sigh ... )

Winding Down

Sorry, I was unable to post anything on Friday through early today.  My heart was acting up in a major way!  I have known for weeks that I am going downhill but it was so close to my scheduled cardiologist appointment that I just hung in there and prayed I would not end up in the emergency room again.  (After all, I still owe thousands on that last visit!)

So, the short of it, my blood pressure is great, my heart rate is great, but my heart has grown noticeably weaker.  I am not exactly excited with this knowledge.  So, the doctor made a major change to my medications, something to help the heart muscle get stronger and I feel great today!  But, let me tell you last night was a hard one!

So this morning I am great.  Hoping I can say the same tonight.

In the mean time, I get to run as many errands as possible....

Life is indeed interesting in what appears to be God's insistence at keeping me around...

Musical Saturday Morning

I have been going through, re-watching, each and every movie in my library collection.  So far, 20% are destined to go away!  What once was interesting for whatever reason, before this change in me, no long is, so much goes away.  Interestingly, one of last year's additions, Looper - I now like but for reasons that were oblivious to me last me!  The first of the movies to have the distinction of going from dislike to like!

I plowed the Bourne series had found them interesting in a twisted cynical way  in the past and now find that I still like them but for other reasons.  However, I have to admit it took two nitro's to get through the Identity.  By the time of the Legacy, the films had come together nicely, however it is so obvious that 2/3 the way through the Legacy - they completely had lost control of the story and end up with a motorcycle chase!  Really?  So well built in the front end only to die off in a bogus chase sequence.  Too weird.  But, I kept the Legacy just because it is so good in the beginning.

I wish Moby could have done a better video for the movie; would have called their video, "Loss of Innocence" or perhaps "Despair" for all of their videos are only based on corruption of innocence.  I am sure someone somewhere thinks they are cutting edge - but, nope, no originality there, just recycled images you can trace all of the way back into the silent film era in Europe.  Sigh ...

Numbers

There are scores of movies - action adventure, spy thrillers, science fiction and even some horror films which are based on the concept that numbers do not lie - the solution to the problem can be found mathematically.  Interesting.

Back in the 1970's a guy by the name of John (I think) Dvorak was working on a mathematical model to predict whether or not a computer program would work.  I read the article and scoffed - the man was an idiot, in order for a mathematical model to work you have to exert control over the program, hence invalidating the test you are trying to perform.  Dvorak commented that programmers sucked, we commented in union that perhaps the problem was between his ears, my manager commented that there was a way to make it work and I thought on this ...  Years later I was able to build that mathematical table for IBM, it worked wonderfully, mangers could not understand it in the slightest ...  But, this was logic, not math.  Unfortunately, on the last day - our celebration of having created awesomeness - my partner in crime was backed over (literally) by a bread truck as we crossed the street to have lunch.  Bill had been a long term friend, amongst the smartest people I have ever encountered.  No sense grossing you out, so I will only comment that something exploded like a ripe melon.  I was in a half torso cast at the time and unable to reach out and grab him, the other closest guy, last I heard was still institutionalized, the other three all went and got rip-roaring drunk then quit that day.

I have commented often about my problems with math, for all the explained logic in the world - it is still nonsense to me.  No, not in the easy early on stuff but when you start getting anywhere near calculus you slam right into the illogical of math.  If you disagree, then you obvious are willing to accept the illogical as logic.  I am a literalist, I can't do that.

And the roosters all came home to roost this week.

I work hard on balancing my checkbook and keeping myself out of trouble with the bank, but since August I have just been cursed.  Mess up, after mess up, after mess up!  Unfortunately, back in August I had to zero out my account and just start over.  I had to give up.  After months of not balancing, the differences swinging wildly by thousands of dollars, and the problem could not just be found!

Then yesterday, $2,500 just disappeared from my account.  Over and over I went through yesterday's deductions everything was correct, only $70 for the day.  But, then there was this little check they had paid on ...  I had helped someone in the church out back in spring, the check had come through and was checked off my ledger in April.  Problem is, I had checked the wrong line item apparently.  The big check had not been submitted until yesterday, in April I had missed the line for a $25 charge.  OMG!!!!!!

And I think to myself MY GOD HOW I HATE MATH !!!!!!!!!

Eyes On The Road

It is funny, in a wry way, but this is actually the second part of a study I have been working on.  I know I typed up the first part last week and posted it - then when I went to find it to link to it for this one - IT IS NOT THERE!  I am not content at all about this, in fact I a little irritated!  Which is funny because this is the climax, to the prior part, about contentment!  Then, on Tuesday it was unusual for me to find the original notes, I usually throw them away, so now I can link and you can read yesterday's post just in case you missed it.  I still have no idea where the original post went though ....

Remember that odd song whose refrain which ran something like this: " ... keep your eyes on the road and your hands one the wheel ... "?  Sure the song was about a date that went rather oddly but when you think about your Christian walk, it is not so far off.

I wish that most men I knew were like Dutchman, as Godly a man as I have known in my lifetime, and yes I do know all of his stories, most of them included me ..... then we have through the years had to coach each other through all of life's past travails.  And yet, he has an Achilles Heel, the desire for wealth - and there is never enough of it.  He is not greedy, he is in fact the most generous man I have ever known outside of my Danish great-uncle!  And wealth is a problem for him?  Yeah, it is hard for him to find contentment because of this.  He strives for success because he knows it will richly reward him.  With 7 major patents under his belt, for example: the Erickson cell, your MS keyboard, and the latest just announced and demonstrated is a new way to recharge batteries virtually instantly and without a plug in!  Plus various radar and lidar based patents too.  An overachiever with an amazing brain.

I know for each of us it is something different.  For Swedish Rocket Scientist, now at 60 years old and happily retired, his loss of contentment is over never having had the family he so longed for - but you have to go on a date first (painfully true)!  He did find two women through the years, but since he is still drawn to women whom are repelled by him - that never happened.  Now at the end of his life, he regrets having been a scientist and engineer, he wishes he had been a landscaper.  I actively pray for him comfort and contentment.

Contentment?  That illusive attribute, missing from virtually everyone's life - except for those whom strive to find it and then hold on to it.

It all begins with a decision you have to make and the line is drawn in the sand:

• Will you covet what the world has to offer
• Will you find contentment in Jesus

Sure we all say, well the second choice of course!, and then go on to live our lives as if the first choice is the only one.  Unfortunately, these choices are mutually exclusive - you can not have both, it is either one or the other.

In order to make the second choice you have to be willing to recognize the difference between what is temporary in value and what is eternal in value.  Easy, you say!

Except it isn't so much so.

For me it happened early in my life.  I was 22, I had already made my fortune and that year I was to observe the life of someone whom truly loved God (probably more than me) and yet life was so vexing she was unable to barely keep her head above the water.  It was obvious to me, she was going down.  And I thought on this actually for only a week and through a ton of prayer.  If God had blessed me, so unexpectedly, and with no reason for Him to have done so or to assume He would stop blessing me - then is it my DUTY to serve others with it?  Hey, I worked hard, 80 and even 120 hours weeks at times.  My mind raced at what was required to move computing forward from a laborious technology to something at the speed of light by comparison - and using old technology to do it.  But, I was called to be a stranger in a strange land, I was called to be an ambassador.  I KNEW my real success was not be found on Earth.  But, I was raised as an old German - sink or swim, it was her duty to do so, not mine.

By Day 8, I had my answer from God: I would do something completely alien to my upbringing and culture, something so repugnant that my family would leave me for the next 30 years, but I was certain it was the right thing to do - save one solitary human being from her environment and set her free.  Surprisingly to me, she became my best friend, that was not the point of my involvement with her.

All of us came into this world with nothing and each of us will leave this world only with what we have invested towards our eternal credit in Heaven.  So what is of temporary value?  Anything that we leave behind in this life!  Pretty simple actually, but the world does have its allure.

I am a bit of a pack rat.  Clutter is not my friend but "stuff" seems to cling to me.  What of it is "must" haves to my way of thinking?  Not very much.  But, yes, there are a few items that do mean a great deal to me.  Memories, bits of paper that came with honesty and love into my life, a hidden blog, whose posts I occasionally read to remind myself that there is more than just me.  Yes, I can remember those people without "things" but the connection is precious to me through those bits of paper and that blog. Pictures and hand drawn cards from all of my children, photographs of when special people thought I was special, a blog that expresses truth and emotion - yeah, temporal things.  And my bits of paper are no different than Dutchman and his Mexican oasis from the world, or any of his other many homes.  His are just more costly than mine but still just as separating from where either of us are supposed to be in our relationship with God.

And now is the time to say, "Enough".  Well, actually, any time is a good time to turn away from the world.

1 Timothy 6:6-8

In verse 8, we are told that we are GIVEN our food and clothing - the basics of our most basic needs.  Can you truly be thankful for those two things?  I mean really be thankful, to incorporate within yourself true gratitude for what you really need?  Hard to do so in a culture where "most have plenty and those that do not - obviously are not working hard enough!"  Yeah, I actually heard that said this past weekend by some very pious Christians - I suppose in their own minds, at lunch.  They did not realize that sitting there was someone whom is denied the freedom to work ...

And I think back to that young Christian girl I met four decades ago.  She loved God, she struggled hard, there was nothing to show for it except a drunken mother whom took it all and beat her children.  Yeah, where was God for Gaelic Girl and her siblings?  Where indeed?

Perhaps, God had to use someone she only had just met, whom discerned the situation and had been so abundantly blessed that God directed some of his blessings to her?  And I have often thought on this bizarre time in my life.  What was God doing, why did God do this, what was He thinking?!?  It was not proper and completely opposed by my family.  In essence, I was "ruining" someone else's luck.  I was taking upon myself their ill luck.  I was being foolish and make no mistake to this day my mother blames GG for destroying her son!

Yet, I can look back and see that without knowing it, I was making an investment in that account in Heaven, that was never even in my mind - I was simply moved with compassion for one of the few times in my life.

I went back into youth ministry because God had proved to me that my life was His, that the only thing in life of ANY value were people.  Not to help them because I want a brownie point with God but that this is the only place where there is any true value.  And I said, "okay God".  Within a month my fortune was gone and I was thankful for it.  (Anyone old enough to remember Black Monday?)  I now understood what none of my friends still do not do, unfortunately.

And I found my complete contentment in Jesus.  Do not even believe I had even a penny left after that 1987 crash!  My businesses failed, I lost my office complexes, some truck stops here in America, my manufacturing plant, everything - gone.  And I was to know hardship, and debt and yes even hunger.  Where was Jesus?  Standing right there beside me listening to my heart praise Him in my misery, because I redoubled my efforts at what He had told me to do and worked all the more with youth.  The harder life became, the harder I shared, taught and learned.

I had to learn gratitude.  I had to learn to be satisfied with what I had been given, I had to learn to be generous with what I was given.  And then I found contentment one day, I realized that no matter the opposition, I would still thank God for my daily portion.

Contentment is all about the attitude of your heart, expressed in truth.  And yes, I do desire this for you ...

Setting The Heart Right

I read a great deal, always have.  I excelled with computers because I was willing to actually sit down with the IBM manuals and read them (at my high speed of 32 words a minute, cough, cough) - did not always understanding what I read at the time, but eventually it all came together.

Amongst my readings have been old diaries of people whom journeyed through the American wilderness in the 1840 to 1870 period.  The pioneers, their travails, their thoughts, their pain at the randomness of life.  Then my readings into the old literature of the Vikings, the Romans, the Greeks, the Egyptians.  It showed me at an early age that people are the same today, as they were yesterday, as they were 100 - 200- 300 or even X,000 of years ago.  We all still have the same basic thoughts, desires and needs - and the curse of the inability to learn our lessons from prior generations.

Today is a bit different in some countries, we have advanced over yesterday in a number of areas.  Women being allowed to own land, stock or other possessions was a radical change!  Prior to this a woman's only security was through her husband - and that is not exactly the best approach to security, especially when women are seen as a possession and treated accordingly.  So, you have to marry and marry well or your future will be toast.  Never mind that you would probably be dead by 24 from childbirth in any event.

The second area of change was the application of a standardized pricing approach to products.  Prior to this it was haggling over everything's cost.  A bargain for one, not so much for another less astute shopper!  Of course, the barter system was driven primarily by the greed of the merchant wishing to maximize his profit and the purchasers desire to minimize his expense!  Both are forms of greed, both are forms of not understanding that this world is not our final destination and we can not take it with us.

Yeah, nothing we possess on this Earth has ANY eternal value, it is completely wasted effort - unless we can use it for God's purposes!  And no, that does not mean you own a mansion and it is okay with God because one room is dedicated to visiting missionaries!  Really?!?!?  And I hear this approach from all over the world, in every culture, greed is a universal problem and yeah if you are a missionary you probably will end up in someone's basement.

In the 1980's a new item popped up on my radar: people working the church membership for financial gain.  AMWAY, AVON, the church membership roles being plied by realtors.  I knew one guy whom belonged to seven churches so that he had the largest database of clients for his realty business.  He was extremely successful financially, spiritually?  Not so much.  Really, anyone was surprised by this?  The Church - is the place where you can find financial enrichment?  That is why it was created?  Carry that idea forward to a disaster in the Seattle area in the early 1980's - Delta Finance.  Invest you money with this uninsured Christian financial investment firm and you will be guaranteed a financial reward and know that your money is protected by God.  Really?  When they went down, it wiped out most of those I knew in the Seattle area.  It gave all Christians black-eyes.  They gambled God's reputation and all of the sheep lost.

Well meaning Christians, came up with an idea on how to provide for their financial success by guaranteeing the success of others USING God as their alibi, safety - contentment for all!  But, that is the exact opposite of what God asks of you!

At about the same time we had the wolves appear amongst the flock, looking for whom they may fleece.  And fleece the Church they did!  To the tune of millions!  Some would go to prison but the majority went unpunished for their crimes against the Church, against God, against their siblings in Jesus.  But, this was nothing newsworthy, it has been happening since the beginnings of the faith.  And yeah, as unfair as it seems, God will level the playing field in the end - they will be brought to account for what they have done.  Not very satisfying, huh?

Read 1 Timothy 6:3-6

Selling of the Holy Spirit.  The Holy Spirit is God's and His alone.  He gives, sharing His spirit with whom He will, how He will, when He will.  We can not buy nor sell the gifts of the Spirit, nor the fruit of the Spirit.  There is no power we control nor possess we can pass amongst ourselves or sell to others.  We can not even give it away - it is not ours!

We can not make the message of the Gospel about us.  It is about Jesus, from beginning to end.  The split second we insert our personality and point to ourselves, we have left the truth of the Gospel behind and should no longer be followed or listened to.  I honestly hurt for the Western Church.  Yes, I criticize them and poke fun at them from time to time, but when the chips are down - I pray for God to break this evil bondage which has possessed His Church and is poisoning the world with a corrupt Gospel of health, wealth and materialism.  Honestly, we need REVIVAL!

Further, we have to see to it that in our Body, the Church, we are not separating over the rather minor differences in our interpretation of Scripture.  That very act of separation is the activity of Demons in our midst.  I will pick on just one none doctrine as an example: "King James Only Bible".  One of "my boys" fell into this slot many years ago and has been one of its pastors, pushing this ideology for two decades now.  But, which KJV?  His mentors all chirp 1611, however, they all use the 1769 - they do not even know their own chosen Bible's history!  It is not convenient to show that there have been 100,000's of changes to the KJV just to get something fairly accurate for its time.  But, with the revelations of archaeology, anthropology and linguists in the past 100 years - it could use more work to more accurately reflect truth and less Roman Catholicism.

No, the version of your Bible is not a concern to God.  But He does care whether or not you can accept His tenants of the faith: one God/Creator, one payment for your sin/separation from Him, the virgin birth, the death, the resurrection of Jesus, the teachings of the Apostles.  Yeah, if you can swallow those you can chew on other stuff like all of the minor items denominations are created over.

The goal of any of this is PEACE.

Christians can be:

•  wealthy (properly controlled) or in poverty (actually easier to be Christian when you have nothing!)
• Powerful or powerless
• Free or slave
• Content or in pain
• Satisfied or unsatisfied

But  you will never have peace in your life or your relationship with God until you have satisfaction with what you have.  That means no requirement for any more of anything!

We are told that contentment is found in Jesus, with things of eternal value which can not slip away from us.  Going back then that that bullet list above, that means you can have wealth, power, freedom, satisfaction and be content - just as easily as not being content at all.  Conversely you can have nothing, be powerless, be a slave (as 2/3 of the world was in Paul's day), be satisfied with your portion and have contentment - just as easily as not being content at all!

WOW! 

That is because contentment is the state of your HEART, it has nothing to do with any of these other attributes, it has to do with your relationship with Jesus.  Given that relationship, it no longer matters what your state, your heart will be content with what you have been given by Him.  Unfortunately, contentment is not the usual human condition and we actually have to seek and strive for that contentment.  More on this tomorrow!

How To Alienate People

Over the weekend, I had a family event to attend and you just simply have to enjoy a good train wreck when they occur.  Unflrtunately, this was pseudo-family, indeed - people I pray for often, people I care about.  And to see the wreck coming, to not be able to stop it, to see the damage and to know their pain.  Not good - the real reason I had to get away from the party ...

Oldest daughter planned an event, a get together of her friends, her family, what of her husband's family had come in from Alaska, New York and other various travels.  So, a great many tired, prickly adults and a whole lot of children.

So, I am talking with my son-in-law's oldest sister, just in from a moose hunt in Alaska, skunked but hey, just the hunt is worth it!  We had a good talk.  From what I know of her, she is a bit of a snob, rich, nothing is too good for her children, she lives in the right place, drives the right car, wears the right clothing, sends her two girls to the right private schools.  She has it all and yet even she knows that she really has nothing - but no idea as to why that is true.  It was plain she is uncomfortable being around her family, whom she shares no common theme with - and it stings her. 

Enter her mother, whom I know she loves but has no way to express it - they are such different people:

Mom: Is that a natural wave in your hair or did you curl it?

Daughter: Yes, natural ... ?

Mom: Interesting, I have the exact same wave in my hair ...

(Daughter gets a look of hope in her eyes and starts to smile)

... when it is wet from the shower and before I make my hair presentable for the day.

(Daughter now has a look of horror at what she just heard!)

... So at least you have something in common with me.  I am glad that is the only thing we share.

(Daughter runs away in tears.)

Mom: Now, what on earth got into her ...?

I was so tempted to tell her that she just completely and totally dished her daughter - again!, whom wants so desperately to know you, and you just told her that she is not good enough!

Sigh.....

Much of my son-in-law's family is this way.  Yeah, I may complain about my dysfunctional family, but his is pathologically far more so!  Except, in his family, I would be willing to bet that there actually is some love in there for one another.

As for the sister she will now probably hide for the next six months or and then try again.  The mother will continue to be oblivious and find another opportunity to insult her daughter, just as she has been for the majority of her life.

For you, just an example of what James calls the most dangerous weapon in the world (chapter 3:5 others perhaps?).

Gravity

Saturday evening I had a chance to escape to the movies, something I do not seem to have time for much any more!  I desperately wanted to see a sci-fi movie - no realism, just pure entertainment satisfaction - I got far more than I expected!

It was a toss up, Pacific Rim or World War Z were my top picks at the dollar theather.  Swedish Rocket Scientist told me to just buy WWZ, because it is an owner and we should so see Pacific Rim.  But, I saw Gravity was playing in 3-D and plans changed instantly!  That is to say the title was intriguing, the lure of George Clooney, not.  Honestly, outside of the fact that he is a "face" I have never seen a movie yet where he acted!  And, also honestly, it was with relief when he disappeared from this movie, because he contributed nothing.  He still is just a "pretty face" and I am sure for the same money they could have gotten an actor if the producers had thought about it ...  I am glad he cleans up nicely and looks dashing in a tux (yawn!), but being an actor actually requires some ability that he does not have.  Sorry, you get to join Pierce Brosnan on that count!

Sandra Bullock, scored major in this movie!  If she does not get the nod for an Oscar, I will be stunned because this may well be the finest performance she has ever given!  Unfortunately, outside of 2001 and First Encounters, Oscars are scarce in the Sci-fi world.

The movie covers the hours surrounding a disaster in space, a missile test goes bad, creating orbiting debris taking out everything in its path.  Too bad the space shuttle is up there on a mission to fix the Hubble Telescope!  Hubble is destroyed, the shuttle is destroyed, half the crew killed and the rollercoaster ride begins as asset after asset in space is destroyed.

No, I am not going to give any secrets away!

But, Sandra distinguished herself in having to play someone, with no reason to live, having to make the choice to live.  The last third of the movie, sans Clooney, was exceptionally powerful and very well done - yeah with some holes you could put an aircraft carrier through, but then that is what makes a movie entertaining for me.

So, teen friendly as long as you understand that in space you wear underwear.  Nothing even remotely sexual.  Good language control.

Sorry, no bullets - just space debris.  No exploding cars, but plenty of space carnage.  No blood and guts dripping off the walls.  And yet, it is still an excellent movie to see!

It is a must see.
It is an owner.
Bullock was awesome.
The final third of the movie was outstanding.
It is gripping, a nail-biter, entertaining, yet almost reasonable - as far as reality goes.

Simply, WOW!, what a ride ... !

Musical Saturday Morning

I remember when this song came out that I was a little put off by it.  I liked the easy flowing music, but the guy's voice sort of grated on me, his movements too feminine and the words brought back uncomfortable memories, of what might have been's: like my faithless bride of so long ago - whom unfortunately was out of the hospital last night and happened to appear at my local Red Robin with one of her sister's while I was enjoying my Oktoberfest Burger with my youngest daughter!

What are the odds you are going to go out on a whim and someone 40 years into your past is going to show up?!?!?!?  Try choking on one of those burgers, not have a glass of water handy, and yet not draw attention to yourself - gees!  As for the other memory, my tie for best picture ever, Casa Blanca (still tied for first after all of these years is, Trench Coat.)  Those two movies are uncomfortable, because there was something I can almost understand, I cand almost touch it, and then it is be gone.  So elusive and yet I knew it was there.

So, today I listened to the words, ignored the voice and just flowed with the music, memories and feelings:



(And, yes, I know you understand .....)

Propriety

Propriety is one of those words without much meaning outside of certain churches any longer.  My guess would be that certain of those churches are responsible for the loss of value of that word today.  Those churches whom stressed elaborate lists of do's and don'ts, willing disfellowshipping those whom do not agree and those whom transgressed some part of the THEIR law ... yeah, you drove an entire culture away from the church, their children from God and any awareness of sin or salvation.  Congratulations, you did good (and you get to be judged for that in the here after...).

However, propriety is a valid issue within the Christian body today, does need to be expressed and adhered to - however, adherence is the question of the individual's heart and maturity - not disfellowshipping, judging and condemnation by the pious.  Yeah, as you can tell I do have some strong feelings on this hypocritical standard within the church.

Basically we have two camps within the "church", (within quotes as I do not believe most churches are actually Christian in nature,) however we have to use something to speak from and against.  One the one side we have the Charismatic, Pentecostal, Anglican, Episcopalian and Lutheran movements and style of churches, where basically anything goes these days.  Contrast this against only a hand full of the Four Square's, most of the Baptists, Memmonite, Quaker, Amish and even my beloved Hutterite brothers and sisters - whom have no difficulty at all in calling you out for what they believe to be a forest in your eyes - completely ignoring their own logs in their eyes.  So, very opposite opinions and few willing to say, "Hey, I disagree with you and would you consider contrasting your behavior against these Bible verses?"  Instead, it is more like, "The Bible says, hence you are out of here..."  Rarely does the Bible match what they think it says.

So, what does the Bible say?   

1 Timothy 2:8-15
⁸ Therefore I want the men everywhere to pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or disputing. ⁹ I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, ¹⁰ but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.
¹¹ A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. ¹² I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet. ¹³ For Adam was formed first, then Eve. ¹⁴ And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. ¹⁵ But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.

Paul calls upon the men of the church to be in prayer, at peace with all mankind.  Some people like me not longer can lift up their arms (back injury) but you can pray on your knees, sitting, standing, laying down, driving a car!, it does not matter - it is the posture of your heart that Paul is referring to, it is important, you are yielded to God in true humility.  You are supposed to be a spiritual leader, you expected to be one, by God!  Are you?  Probably not, so you can already see that propriety within the church context is not even possible, from those whom it matters most - because of you and your heart.  I say that to my own condemnation as well.

Paul calls upon women of the church to watch how you present yourselves.  You are supposed to not dress suggestively, yeah  you have breasts, guys are visual creatures, perhaps not displaying them is a good idea?  I smack my head every summer when even in my fairly conservative church, girls grandly parade themselves - and not oblivious to the attention of the males!  And they never figure the disconnect out!  The males are riveted 12" below their eye level.  And disasters happen all of the time in that church - whether it is some unused room during a service, in the parking lot, etc.  Everyone complains, everyone points fingers, no one confronts the parents.  In fact, often the mothers are just as bad or worse than their daughters!  Sickening!

Continuing, since I side tracked myself - women are not to dress fancy and not to put on "airs"!  How unlike the churches my mother went to while I was in high school!  You would have thought it a fashion show the way the women dressed and paraded themselves.  Even as a non-Christian it made me want to vomit - the hypocrisy levels were so high.  I hated God because He must be blind and unable to see past a nice dress or outfit, to the blackness of the heart within.  Yeah, I might not have known God but I knew from others what many of them were up to my own little town!  Grrrrrrr!  And as for guys, I might mention that ought to be true for you as well!  Many years ago I was approached at the end of the service by a woman whom told me that some of her husband's old suits would fit me and be more respective of God than what I was wearing.  Really?  I told her my soul wore a tuxedo and God does not see our clothing.  Yeah, she was offended.

And probably the most important aspect for women is their ability to SUPPORT the leadership within the church.  Of course we are discussing Godly support, of Godly men, involved in Godly pursuits for the church!  Three big qualifications there and the insinuation that there are some mighty powerful Gifts of the Holy Spirit in those women to be used in working with each other in the support of the leadership.  Just pointing out the obvious that no one really pays much attention too....  Yes, the Holy Spirit IS IN women as well, if you don't think so, read you Bible and stop listening to others.

And now we hit some of the hardest verses to discuss within the modern church: 1 Timothy 2:11 - 15.

My mother went to seminary, mostly just to embarrass the Baptist Church over this problem.  I never thought she actually had a desire to be a pastor, and could do so in most of the denominations even back in the 1970's but she wanted to take down the Southern Baptists - and she was successful in court over this issue.

If you want to argue, as my mother does, that Paul was a male chauvinistic pig whom hated women and a reasonable person would not even listen to him, well what were his other problems if you want to kill off more of his writings?

If you want to argue that this was only cultural and applied to just the church of Ephesus because of their female problems in that society, well what other parts of the Bible are also either regional or cultural and therefore can be explained away to fit your view of God and the Bible or to negotiate around your sin nature?

When was the last time you were in a church and had your feet washed or shoes shined for that matter?
When was the last time the women of your church covered their heads when speaking or praying publicly?
When was the last time you prostrated yourself in church?

Just asking, after-all, if the Bible is only cultural, then it is no big deal for you not to do any of these!
And you are told to by the Bible instead.

It is a slippery slope when we want to argue that the Bible is only cultural, then do what we believe is right in our own mind and eyes.  That would be a violation of two of those "Ten Commandments"

But, Paul does not appear to be arguing culturally but from a viewpoint of Creation.  So, it is God's viewpoint we are called to consider, not our own, not history, not culture - just God's view.  Make no mistake that is a rough one because it takes maturity plus humility, to see with the eye's of God.

Of course, every time there is a call to take the Bible literally, there are jokes made by bringing up the Jewish laws, which the Church was NEVER under.  You can take the New Testament literally without much problem, when placed in a first century context - just to kill the stupid arguments.....

Something for you think about, especially if you are seeing problems in your church body.

Now Is The Time, Part II

A week ago I wrote on the importance of making your peace with God as quickly as possible - the pain it saves you is enormous.  Of course, until you get there, you probably will not even see that there is another way...

Thinking this time on 1 Timothy 4:1-5

It is interesting to think that 2,000 years ago, the early Christian Church, "The Way", was being challenged by false doctrines taught those whom believed they had authority!  If you remember from 1 Timothy 1, Paul has written to Timothy to encourage him to stay in Ephesus and continue to correct the doctrine of the Church there!

So, I look at the Church today; false doctrines abound in almost all churches! Some because of long held tradition, others because they believe they have been given a "special Gospel" or revelation.  Just think on all of the minor issues churches fight over and willingly separate over!

Looking back at this passage we can see that Paul warns of the Church being impacted by:

• Loss of Faith
• Deceiving Spirits
• Teachings of Demons
• Hypocritical Liars
• No Conscience
• Forbidding Marriage
• Forbidding certain foods

We live in an age when all of these are a problem.  Your church today is no better than probably any of those condemned by Paul in Ephesus, to which Timothy was instructed to correct and we do know that since Ephesus was to become part of the Gnostic Movement, so Paul's worry was valid.

This is a serious problem within the Church.  No believer wakes up one day and thinks, "Wow, today is a great day to embrace the doctrine of demons!".  Yet, it happens and unfortunately quite often.  Not far from where I live was a large flourishing Christian Church, Community Chapel and Bible Training Center, back in the 1980's.  A decade later I was to meet dozen of victims of this church - their lives destroyed by rearranged marriages, via corrections the pastor was told to perform, sexual abuse, money laundering, etc all brought the church down once the molestation of teenage girls was learned by the State police.  Yeah, it was quite the Christian witness in the Seattle area.  I wonder how many were permanently left with a "no way" answer to anything Christian because of the abuses of this church.  And they started out very normal.

But, somewhere along the way, the pastors started being influenced by a new doctrine, one which gave them power, then money and finally enslavement of the once faithful.  It was little matter to lure them into sin, they had left God behind long before.

And that bulletted list above became the actual ministry of that church!  Talk about deju vous Paul!  From Timothy to real life in just five verse!

So, your church think certain foods are forbidden?  Paul disagrees.  Your church believe in Celestial Unions, causing open sex, dissolved marriages, underage acts with the pastoral staff? Uhm, Paul disagrees.  The pastors are liars, seem to never understand condemnation of the Holy Spirit, everything has an excuse - but not a real reason?  Get out of that church now!

And to a certain extent we too are guilty.  God created goodness and set it around us - we trashed His creation!  The food which were good are by and large genetically modified anymore.  Nature has been replace by man's arrogance thinking he can do a better job - but to what end I wonder?

Something to consider, something to think about, something perhaps to cause you to correct the local body you are in .....

Cleaning

Somehow, I have gotten suckered into doing a major fall cleaning.  Although it seems to be more a matter of throwing stuff away than actually cleaning.

Because no one actually puts things away in this house, stuff just get thrown somewhere, anywhere, guaranteed to be not where it belongs.  So last year I began the task of just trying to sort the mess out.  Stuff that goes to the sunporch, goes there, perhaps not where it belongs, but closer than where it was.  Same for everything.

Now that I have finally gotten some separation, I started sorting everything that is alike, into piles of the same stuff.  So suddenly, instead of half a box of baking soda, I find I have five boxes, three of which are partially used.  Same goes for everything!  The worst is sandwich bags - eleven partially used boxes!

So, trying to now consolidate alike items into fewer containers and then i started noticing expiration dates!  Yeah, i found a brownie mix which dated back to when I bought this house!  It never got used because it never was put where it belonged in the first place!  So, two thirty gallons trash bags of severely out of date food items and the shelves are now starting to look bare!

I am still far from done, but it is a good start.  Now I wonder if I can get my daughters whom moved out to pick up the last of their items?

And the same is true of my mind as well.  As I am working on my book (now at chapter 5) I am finding quite a bit of baggage I have been carrying all of these years.  It surprised to me to learn how angry I still am at the US Army for what they did to me.  It angered me at how easily they had played me.  It made me reconsider quite a bit about my life - how much good I did miss because I was stupid and how much evil I was forced through because I was equally stupid in that area as well!  They were the adults and knew exactly what they were doing.  Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!  As one of my daughters would say.

But, that is all water long gone under the bridge.  Situations where God, as the final judge, gets to punish those whom preyed upon innocence for their own gain.  Of course, that innocence was what allowed me to come to God as well, because I was stupid and really needed Him to pull me from the fire I suddenly found myself in.  Yeah, He did, in ways I could never have foreseen at the time.

Now how to do the same in my little book ... ?

In the News

It goes without saying that we have been rocked by a massive storm front for several days but Monday was a real kicker!

I was up late, I had to babysit my youngest granddaughter until 11pm!  Her father was supposed to get her at 7!  Yeah, he is not exactly reliable nor considerate of any but himself.  I really feel sorry for her, cursed by such clueless parents!

So managed to find my morning heart med, choke on them since I forgot to get something to take them with, sigh.  Then off to a nice warm bath for my damaged right leg to continue to heal - well at least that is the idea.  And then all tarnation broke loose!

Heavy winds and I live in a hollow below a bluff.  Then rains like we rarely ever see here, about 5 inches of water in just a few minutes.  What is going on?

The power goes out!  Which is odd because I bought this exaction because the power grip runs over to the Olympic Peninsula - so almost never will go out!  Very high quality back up systems here.  And it went out, why?

Seems a power cable snapped in the wind and spent its time snaking around shorting stuff out.  Well that explains my power loss.

Then I hear reports of a tornado down south of me, tore up a business district and several homes with 110 mile an hour winds.  Wow!  Also took out power for all of the little communities in the Puyallup River Valley, like where my mother lives, so I can't even call to see how she is getting along.  Seems a car was put through a telephone pole and took out the only power supply to the valley.  Unlike me, no back up systems for Pierce County.

So, one stormy very unusually day!