Temptation

I am so tempted to delete my last post, but really it shows the frustration and stress I am having to deal with.  I was so frustrated on the evening of the third, I just told God to take this dysfunctional relationship and stuff it.  But, I allowed that if he did give me any form of an acknowledgement concerning my frustration, I would hang in there but having no idea as to how to do so.

And he did, literally as I was shutting off the phone for the night - a text of no real meaning arrived other than it acknowledged that I might still be alive.  I was so angry, you have no idea!  Whether I like it or not, dysfunctional is the status quo, with no idea how to continues.....

Yesterday was a bit of a drag as well.  The stress and the symptoms runs unabated through my body.  I could not even go to the little parade, my body to messed up between the meds and trying to stay awake.  Then, everyone confirmed for the bbq.  But who showed up?  Swedish Rocket Scientist, whom I had not invited as I thought he was not even going to be in the area.  Gaelic Girl, whom I did invite.  And two kids, only one of whom ate, but everyone left before the fireworks.  So I sat with son's dog and tried to keep him calm while explosions rocked the house.  Now I have a MOUNTAIN of food for the eleven whom did not show up, yet were expected.  I think I am going to be hating brats and potato salad before the weekend is over.

This will probably be my last attempt at entertainment this year.  There does not seem to be much appreciation for what it takes to put on a spread, nor for the the cost involved either.  And I would have been much happier not cleaning my house, not spending 1.5 days cooking, for people whom were not to show up.

Sigh.  People suck.