Conclusion

So with this post, I complete what I want to share concerning my daughter and our relationship.

When I went into this relationship, I tried to find out if what God was asking me to do was reasonable - there was nothing to be found. Yet, how can it be that NO ONE had ever done this before? As time and situation has shown, it is not uncommon and it seems to go sideways all the time. There is a point at which evil wins.

For me, I have a daughter whom is now estranged. I wasn't looking for a daughter when God did this to me, I still am not looking for one now, she was an exception. I see no reason to divorce her from my life - she may indeed need me again one day. So, though I am sure this raises her hackles because she wants me completely gone at this time - I still see her paths through the future, God still shows me her dreams and thoughts, God is forcing me to stay in place.....

So you are a guy and feel led to father the fatherless - good luck! Just know it is a harrowing road and I wish you better luck than anyone I know at doing this. It will rip your heart out. One other guy has come forward now, a pastor, whom told a tale almost identical to mine. He and his wife dearly loved the daughter, whom went sideways, but came back 21 years later! Mostly to apologize, mostly because she still needed a father.....

What does the future now hold? What path/paths shall we traverse.....?

Next question up is why have I said some of the things I have?

Well, that answer is actually interesting to me to explain, far more so than some of the posts were.

First, you have to understand that I have actually never had an emotion before. God hit me with one and I have no answer as to why he did this yet. So, it was new, it was bizarre, it was unique to my life. Since 99.9975% of you do suffer from such an affliction, I wanted you to see what it is like to experience what you take for granted. Yeah the percentage is statistically correct. The betrayal of that emotion was equally fascinating to me.

Secondly, I have been working on the book James for next year's studies. James is an interesting book - it shows just how human I became during half of this year. And yet, how can James call for what it does when only .0025% of the population would have a chance of doing so? Hmmmm, an oxymoron or is there something James says that Western Christianity has gotten wrong? I hope to have that one answered by September....

Thirdly, although should daughter have read my posts, I am sure I angered her beyond belief. But, since she would not communicate with me - she needed to understand the impact of her choices have on another human being - she is as equally responsible to me as I am to her, at least in God's eyes. Yeah, if she expects God to bless her for treating someone this way, when He forcibly set me into her life, well ..... it will not quite work out the way she wants it to be. And that truly does sadden me.

Finally, this is my life. She has played a role in it for thirteen years, quietly behind the scenes. I am not likely to ever forget this episode and I want those important to my life to understand the trauma and drama my life was exposed to through this year. They do not, in fact I have lost relationships with most of them - because I chose to obey God and would do it all over again - if I had to. Well, I might delete three weeks were there a next time and God just did not "hit me out of the blue with an emotion.....

Now, what to blog on next?