Quiet Confessions

God knows I am suffering, in quiet. Yeah maybe my I am verbose here but in life - nothing. I sincerely doubt she reads this, for the cruelty of her knowing how I have suffered and yet remained silent are unworthy of the woman I know.

The first to make a comment was Timothy. We were walking around the lake shortly to be his wedding site. His words were quiet, he was embarrassed, he spoke on the destruction of his marriage. I knew parts of it, I did not want to know all, it was none of my business. But, he told the tale of a fatherlerss girl and how he felt lead to be her father, of how her mother encouraged him to play an active role. Of how, once he had established that hard won relationship - she turned on him, humiliated him, destroyed his marriage. It did not matter he had done nothing wrong ..... Several years later the daughter came back into his life but it was never the same. How could it be? Both had been damaged by a war that should have never occurred. Satan won that round and was able to take her sideways. Once she figured out the betrayal, she terminated her mother in her life.

Friday night Dutchman talked about how he had done the same. To the same conclusion. Satan almost destroyed his marriage as well. The female, now two years later still has not come back, his pain I had never seen - though I had known a tiny piece of the story.....

And Swede then told of his two year effort to do the same. That betrayal I had witnessed personally. I even had tried to warn him of what was coming, but he too could not understand how someone whom professed love and identity could do anything like that. He never has been able to speak of her again and her actions even went so far as to destroy my friendship with her entire family. I never could figure that one out.....

I finally was able to talk with Gaelic Girl, to tell her what had occurred and why. She understood. She understands grief. She knows it will take time for me to recover.....

So much I would like to say, but there is danger (as I have learned) to someone knowing where their path leads.....

And I marvel: God's timing, God's comfort, God's hope.....