Further Shock

If you have been following along, you know I have been fighting to understand how my favorite daughter could desert me. The shock of this brought on twin heart attacks two weeks ago. And it has been a hard go of it since - especially with the complete lack of any concern of any kind from almost anyone I know. Aside from calls by Dutchman to see if I am still alive, I could be dead and no one would seem to care. Yes, this is Satan continuing his work to get to me. Isolate, separate, attempt to conquer - problem is, I am more concern for daughter than I am for myself. And using Kris' weakest link theory - well, it falls apart on her. What I know of her, the love and respect I have for her are all indicative of what is going on is not a matter of a character flaw in her. It is spiritual and for some reasons she can not see how she is being played by our enemy.

I mentioned a few weeks ago that number two daughter was having marital problems. Thursday night I found out she had terminated her marriage and walked off leaving my grand-daughter with her in-laws weeks ago! Yeah, that one was almost worth heart attack number three! But add yesterdays situation of where her in-laws came over to discuss the situation - yeah, let's add a few more heart incidents. Oh yeah, Satan is going out of his way to get to me - anything to increase my stress levels! However, I am still sharp enough to see that he is also attacking them through this situation as well. In fact it had to happen just as both of them had come down with whooping cough! Yeah get you weak then hammer you, seems to be how he deals with me and looks the same for them.

Friday I was really angry because I had waited months for a corrective foot surgery on the broken foot - only it seems if you have a heart attack then you can not have surgery for six months! I can only afford medial insurance for another eight months so now this is a problem with any follow up needed! Then I broke my left again on Saturday, yeah dropped a block of wood and snapped the big toe again! The shock of this flattened me for a day and a half. I am still not quite right stress wise yet! So, I guess it is good no surgery for a while. God will just have to work it out, as with all other aspects of my life. Sigh.....

I am considering a trip to Idaho in September, I have got to get away from my stress and relax. A little painting, a little metal detecting, a little exploring. Well,we will see will come to fruition.