Twenty-two And Confused

Now at lunch Monday, I fell into a conversation with this sobbing college student.  For those of you whom know me, crying female plus Kris do not mix.  Actually porcupines and your dog's face are more compatible than me when tears are involved.  But something in me was moved and I made the mistake of asking ...

Short story:

She desperately wants a boyfriend, but also knows it isn’t going to happen.  She is too busy to maintain a good relationship, insists on a solid Christian boy (like they exist!) and doesn’t want to kiss until sure he is really going to be "special" in the long run.  (psst!  how about at the altar?) !

And then this alarm clock is going off inside of her - she HAS to find him!

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah - far too much about her I would not share, TMI! and I hope I can do a mind dump and just lose it once I have written this up.  Interspersed with her above statement were perhaps three gallons of tears in there.  She was in quite a state.

Oh, did I mention that she has made it to 22 and is still a virgin?  Never had a boyfriend, never even held hands - and yes, she is more than most guys have on their list of wanna-be attributes (purely physical), has a brain and knows how to use it too, wants to do what is right by God and in tears over this exact problem!

"There are no guys!  I am going to die a ugly old virgin!"

Suddenly I was happy no creepy old guys were within earshot of that one!

So, was she willing to think, talk and work through - why a guy is so important in her life?

1. There is no one whom meets her requirements, but she still wants him. 

2. Waiting for God to pick out the perfect man, and realizes that is not what the Lord wants for her. 

So we had something to work with, God is not asking her to wait for marriage so she can have sex. He is calling her to stop waiting.  But, she has not been listening to that answer, it is the wrong one!

If God really is all you need to satisfy you, then what was she waiting for?  What is going to be better than Jesus?  She was waiting for a husband, thinking married life would be better than single life; she didn’t really think Jesus alone could be better than Jesus plus a great husband!

And a few verses come to mind:

1 John 4:17

In this love is brought to completion and attains perfection with us ...

Psalm 16

2)  I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;
    I have no good apart from you.”

5)  The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup;
    you hold my lot. 

8)  I have set the Lord always before me;
    because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.

9)  Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
    my flesh also dwells secure.

11)  You make known to me the path of life;
    in your presence there is fullness of joy;
    at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

So, my challenge, was for her to continue to ask, “Is Jesus really enough? If you never got married, would your soul still be able rejoice in Jesus' love?”

And she was thoughtful.  She realized that indeed she could be satisfied in knowing that her real happiness was in Jesus and His provision for her.  Anything she did, in and of herself, was only going to cause problems and in the long term bring less than satisfactory results.

I walked with heaviness from lunch, for I remember those struggles in my own life and the years it took me to kill what was inside of me and to learn to wait upon the Lord and his provision - not my own.  It is a hard lesson and life without my Faithless Bride is so much better in the long run.

And then I was to slam right into almost the very same conversation again, within the hour!  This time, the conversation is not concluded I believe and I hope by sharing this, what I did say can be better understood by the second party today within the light of what I said on Monday.