Finally, A Normal Reading

Last night marked my very first normal blood pressure reading since the July 12 heart attack.

Of course, it was an isolated reading but you know, I am glad to see that my heart seems to be healing slightly anyways. Even at that, I see the damage within myself this betrayal has brought on - physically. Well, I was dying at the beginning of the year and would have been long gone by now, had I not of said, "Okay, Lord I will do it." Maybe the point of the entire catastrophe was for daughter to come to Christ. Maybe the rest was just - what? I can't believe that. There were too many specifics to what she needed trained in..... No, she had a purpose and a path. There was a plan for her.

Please keep up those prayers! I expect to live long enough for one last action of obedience a few years from now. If not with my daughter then with whom ever God raises up to fill her void. After that, well, there is no "after that's" for me - I already know the price of that one. But, daughter never could have understood. :^)

Of course, God may change the plan, He does do that when we do not stay in place and choose our way over His way. But, nothing I can do about that except pray.....

I had a long talk with her mother. I was more than likely blunter than usual. Like her daughter, she lives from one emotion to the next, but she does not understand what she has caused to happen will damage her daughter further. She only see life in terms of emotion; her daughter was hurting in June and she put it stop to it. Not hurting equals God's will, because He is a god of peace - conversely hurting means you are out of God's will. Doesn't seem to matter that hurting is also how we grow in our faith, or the price of not doing what God has told us, or in this case - would have lead to daughter learning her final lesson in stripping her worldview from her. Sigh.......

Yeah, well welcome to my world, where God is ruling, God is judgmental, God is sovereign and your desire for peace has little to do with His usage of you. She broke my daughter and now she will take her daughter back home, unfortunately to see that what she has done is create a worse problem than before. Sigh.....