Trapped in Time

Were but that God had not shown me Yesfir's past, present and future.  Oh yeah we like to ponder the future and that is one of my favorite movie genres, but in reality - no you really do not want to know.

And I find myself trapped in time.

I have commented about the past before.  God gave me His view so that Yesfir could be held accountable to the truth in her dealings with me.  It was to shock her into awareness that God knows, there are no secrets, and oh by the way - He told this is silly old German dude!  Yeah, that point was not missed on her.  There is no embarrassment held back.

Her present I needed to know because like all of us, she attaches no real importance upon where she is.  God does.  It has changed her life about 90% so far, still another 10% to go.  God wants all of her - past, present and future to be His.  And He does tend to get His way.

But her future plays upon my mind.

How would you like to know that you are going to win a million dollars?  Cool, bring it on God!  But, wait a minute, it is the future we are talking about here.  Is it in God's determinative will or His permissive will that you are going to win a million dollars?  It does matter.

If it is Determinative - then at some point, no matter what you do or how hard you fight God's leading, you are going to win a million dollars!  Awesome!  But, when?  If you are completely obedient it might be sooner than later.  If you are the strong willed type, it might be later in life.  Oh phooey!  But, yippee, I get a million!  I am a good boy, bring it on God!

But, let us say that that future where you win the million dollars is a product of God's Permissive will - then what?  Well, it means that God places no importance upon that million and you may or may not get it.  It is not a carrot, it is just one serious possibility for a path you may traverse.

Of course, all of us want that million and want to be on that path which will bring us that million.  So if determinative - YAHOO! it is mine.  Then again, permissive, we take the tact of what must I do to win the prize?  Only it does not work that way.  You make choices, those choices set you on a path and it might be the correct one for the million or not.  Dang!  God just cost me a cool million!  Not really, and you did not either,

Now let us take the exact opposite.  Instead of a million dollars, it is going to be an agonizing death.....  Ready to sign up now?  Determinative or permissive, we are all going to do die one day.  Why not martyrdom?  Yeah, get a shiny crown too!  Not too many will volunteer for this one - death is too real to us and though it is not, we see it as permanent and final.

I can so clearly see her choices in her future.  One of them is very hard, it sets her upon the path which will define her life.  So it makes me think that her future is permissive.  One path might have a rainbow and cool prizes.  Another might bring frustration and death.  Yet another might bring God His glory played out in her life.  And, I can not tell her which path leads to which because I do not know - very wise of God there.  Whom would choose death for their child?

So I find myself dwelling upon that choice and those futures.  Conversations we have today, I see in another time, in another venue - only I am explaining how she got where she is.  And if this is of God, then I can understand that she is permanently linked to my life.  Which also means that I had better get her "right".....  If that linkage is determinative after all. LOL!

And yes, I do feel pressured.  What if I get her "wrong", something I do/show/teach turns her sideways to her path?  Is it even possible?  I do not know, but I do contemplate this.  Does success or failure depend upon me and my getting it right?  ARGH!  The pressure!