Head Games

The human mind is a wonderful product of God's design but it is also horrible in its ability to mislead us.

Father spent almost two decades torn between beliefs.  One was that he was James Bond and the other that he was a retired cop from Anchorage, Alaska.  The first drove my sister and I up the walls, but in his death, I find amongst his papers sufficient evidence that father was something more than just a mathematician for the government "big boom" programs.  That, plus three Bronze Stars, without explanation, and the photo I found of him in Sophia, Hungary in 1956 - yeah, father did do some spying it seems.  As for the Anchorage retired cop, I have no idea where that came from.  Part of father's estate is four mystery novels he wrote about his "experiences" as a cop and the "ones whom got away".  Yeah.  He was fully convinced of this.  All sorts of stories.  Just bizarre.

Of course, he also believed he was Don Juan and given his eight brides, it would seem there might have been something in that as well.....  LOL.

But, the point here is the ability our minds have to fully convince us of something which either is not fully true or may never have had a basis in truth, but our mind carries it far, too far.  Way beyond even common sense.  On the extreme edge we have almost everyone whom has either tried or succeeded at suicide.  Those I have known whom did this, had all convinced themselves there was no way around the problems they faced.  And honestly, if they had of talked to someone, whom understood their plight, I feel confident that they would have chosen life - even in the face of open hostility.  Yes, you would be surprised at what you can survive!

I am however thinking in terms of the normal human, whose mind is allowed to run rampant upon some subject and convince themselves that untruth is truth.  For father, he was James Bond.  Others that they are the victim of their physical appearance: too fat, too ugly, too old, too unlovable, the converse is equally true: too skinny, too beautiful, too whatever, to justify their choices and actions.  For instance, I might define myself as: too tall, too overweight, too middle aged, too stupid or too smart, too traveled, etc.  I have found all of these to have been stumbling blocks at one time or another.  And of course, we can let our broken natures define us as well.  Although appalling, lifelong friend - the Ice Princess, whom you might remember from her wedding I posted about years ago - allowed the fact that she had been raped as a teenager to fully and completely define her.  That would equate to self abuse, other's abuse being tolerated - and sought! - and many, many, other problems she mentally suffered from - her body bearing the punishment.  All of them, the lies of the evil one playing in her mind and why I have been thinking on this subject.

Swedish Rocket Scientist, now retired, convinced himself that Sister Bekka was the one - she wasn't and never was, but that sure did not stop an obsession that has lasted for decades; driving him and everyone around him up the wall.  She finally had to leave the country to find peace in her life!  Having spent hundreds of hours with him, trying to get him to see reality and get on with his life, I and all of the others whom tried, had to admit defeat.  He is still "stuck" on her and she is still not interested.  Yeah, our minds can be powerful tools against ourselves.  And God had a lifetime of plans for Sister Bekka that did not include SRS.  Yeah, he was quite angry with God and really does not like to discuss this even four decades later!

The 2010 Run Away Bride came through for a visit last week.  She is still of an opinion that abandoning her husband was the right thing to do.  It angers her that her family remains on his side of the divorce issue.  It angers her that nothing is going right in her life.  Yeah, she knows God does not approve and is getting in her way, but such is the power of our minds.  We can stand against God and still expect to have our way.  I told her she already knows right from wrong and although having convinced herself that her side is the correct side, that just does not make it so.  It will only get worse for her until she gets off of her horse and asks God for His forgiveness and help.  I dare say that when that happens, she will experience a flood from family and friends waiting for her to return.

Although both of the examples I used involve affairs of the heart, I could use others: Dutchman's intrigue with land speculation; my son's obsession with scooters and breaking the law; etc.  Our minds can convince us of almost anything to justify what our opinions are or our desires - fulfilled or otherwise.

Unfortunately, I am of the opinion that this is the normal nature of things in the human experience.  How do we know what is of God and what is not?  Well, I always went with the idea that if I could reasonably think of it - then it was not of God.  But since God has seen fit to give this sociopath an emotion, it has gotten a whole lot harder.  Emotions are mighty powerful agents for misleading ourselves with!  Now, I can see that you really need to know your Bible and understand how God really works before you can judge yourself as to what is God's Will and what is not.  And some times it makes no human sense at all.....

As I contemplate this, I am reminded of all of the times the Bible mentions a strong delusion overcoming the hearts and minds of the masses; in particular an upcoming one wherein a charismatic man will attempt to ascend either a throne over the entire world (or just the middle east, either could be argued effectively).  But, it is easy enough to find plenty of Old and New Testament examples!

Strong delusion, obsession, believing a lie - when the truth is there in plain sight.  Yeah, I think we all fall for that one on occasion.  Fighting God though?  Bad idea, at least for the God I know.