Obedience or Death

Sometimes I can be fairly blind to the obvious.

Daughter and I were talking this weekend, over a hot BBQ, about how did we get to where we are today.  And, something dawned on me.  A discomformity, something that is out of sequence.  It has been sitting in the back of my mind for months and I just could not put my finger on it.....

Back in October, when my kidneys failed, the doctor did not have a great deal of hope, but life could be lived on a dialysis machine.  And then the liver started failing again - as it had years ago.  I now know this may be a genetic thing since my father wrote several times about his in his memoirs.  But, I knew in early November that I might not be making it to the end of the year.  My doctor of 30 years was very emotional about this.

And it dawned on me - Kris is still alive!  His kidneys began function in January, as did the liver again.  Cool miracle!  Kris lives!  Well I am not going to complain in any event.  But, that nagging, unspoken question: Why?

Yesfir supplied the answer during our conversation - in January I became obedient, even knowing at the time that my days were very short, I was obedient and fully became her father.  When each day is a gift, no matter the pain, no matter the problems, it is a little hard to say that I would not use my last days to be obedient in.  Like a dying man needs to fear commitment?

Yet, by the end of January, both kidneys and my liver were functional - again.  Yeah, I was in a back brace by then but I was alive!  And I did not see the correlation here:  My days were up and if I had not of been obedient, then that may well have remained true.  But, I did as I was told and never realized that if I had not, I might have been now at peace.....

So, it is all my daughter's fault!

Our goal is not to see how many days we can live, or to even spend our time trying to divine the future, but to live each day as if it was to be our last.  I was and had been for three months!

And I am reminded once again of January 14, 1987, the day God told me my remaining life was now His.  And since, then there seems to have not been much use for me really at all.  Until called Yesfir into my life as family, not just another kid.

Hmmm