On Being A Substitute Father

Being a substitute father is sort of an odd situation.  It means that there was a father, but for whatever reason, that father is no longer around in that child's life.

In my commune days, there were usually six kids around and not a father to be found.  Lots of mothers but no one to hold the kid accountable, no one to encourage, no one to teach them.  So I got to play papa-bear to a bunch of kids.  And, actually, I did not mind this as the only job I had in high school that I loved was as a daycare worker.  Of course, what possible impact could one lone teenage male have on a group of kids?

Well, a few years ago I was in a store and this guy kept looking at me.  Weird.  So, he walks up to me and says, "Are you Kris?" and I cautiously replied yes.  "Well, I am Dino ....." and suddenly I knew those eyes!  He was the oldest of the kids and the most trouble for me of all of them.  He continued, "I just want to thank you for all of the time you spent with me as I was growing up.  It really made a difference......"  Yeah, he burst out crying and the conversation was really over at that point.  Two sobbing men in the meat department probably is bad for business.

But the thought stuck with me.  Two years, daily in that young man's life, had made some sort of difference even he was aware of.  Really? Interesting.

Then I consider the odd role I played in a young man's life, whom entered mine when he was 12 and stayed through adulthood.  He now has a family of his own, is an awesome father and is still in my life twenty years later.  I hear at least weekly, sometimes daily from  him.  And I am very proud of the man he has become.  I never considered I had any real role, but now I am beginning to understand a child's mind and where a father fits.

Although I seem to be in this role, looking back across time, I am amazed that none of this was understood by me.  But, then my model was a bit warped for me to have a point to understand from.

Your Heavenly Father plays an important part in your life, much as your earthly father should!

Which brings me today to 1 Timothy 1:12-17

Your Father/father should bring joy to your heart.
Your Father reveals to you the depth of your sin.  He searches your heart and your thoughts, which only He can know.
Sometimes the father has to correct you as well.  
Think of all of those fun problems: sins, anger, bitterness, rebellion, lack of gratefulness, lack of love/compassion.


Your heavenly Father fills you with His Grace.
Your earthly father fills you with love.  I like the illustration of each of us having a love bank.  Your father fills that bank by making deposits of love, time, touch, healing words, etc.  That bank allows us to make withdrawals when things go sideways and keeps us on track and sane.
Likewise, your being filled with His Grace is what gives you  the necessary strength to perform His tasks and walk the walk.


In the absence of His Love or a father's love, we create a host of laws and rules to make up for what we are now lacking.  We substitute the things of this world (materialism) to compensate.

So, I guess there is no substitute for your Heavenly Father or your earthly one.  But at least the earthly one can be modeled by another - preferably  Godly man.....