Frustration

One of my frustrations has been that the gossip, started back in August by my daughter, just will not die.  It seems to have pretty well blanketed the area.  As gossip goes, it has grown and gotten uglier - taking in interesting twist in which my daughter is now the perpetrator and I am the victim.  Yes, it is still ugly, make no mistake but it is frustrating having to constantly address this problem with semi-acquaintances about every two or three days!

Within what had been our church, I am stuck in a frustrating position.  I have no one I can really talk to about the problems without breaking my oaths to my daughter or having her status questioned by the hierarchy.  I fully intend upon having her restored within this body and my family - so there will be no hint of anything negative from me.  What she did to herself, there is little I can do about that - except refuse to denigrate my daughter.  I make no bones in front of anyone, she is my daughter and she will remain so.  I am sure I am thought of as quite mad.

But, this has placed me in the awkward position of not being able to really talk to anyone, because I can not trust that what I might say - would not be splattered across the church as soon as I am in my car.  So, I had to do something to express myself and get my blood pressure within reason or I was going to explode!

Well, if my Lettere's helped with my blood pressure quite a bit, trust me - an unknown, completely unfindable blog, where I can say what I want, when I want, how I want ..... well it has brought me much pleasure and some peace as well.

Okay, so you start an unlinked blog.  Totally fake name, totally fake everything.  What are the odds that you will be read at all?  Mighty small I say.

Oh yeah?  Try 40 readers and 25 comments within the first hour!  When I saw that, I had to go back and kill the comments!  I had people asking which sex I was, where I lived and if I was available!  OMG!  I somehow hit a nerve out there!  But, I will not answer - I am keeping this one completely hidden.  Besides, in my culture, were I to actually speak my mind - or - my heart, it would be dishonorable for anyone to be able to identify me and eventually find whom and what I am speaking about!

Therapy through blogging I guess.

Oh yeah, one day I will let daughter have the keys to the blogs, so she can delete, keep, print or whatever them.....  They are a piece of me that I can give her, now that she is so far away.