Proverbs 27:6
Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.
I have mentioned this episode several times because it was a source of shock. But nothng could have prepared me for what one of "my boys" sent last night:
"Had my old boss over and sitting across the dinner table from me. Asked him if I wasn't a very good employee? He said "well, I fired you 3 times didn't I?
A long conversation commenced and I am here to say that I was convicted in my soul. Arrogance.
I want to tell all the people out there that have experienced my rudeness, brashness and thoughtlessness that I can see it now and understand the animosity I've created.
My apologies go out first to my family and those who have known me the longest. Next to my old flames and the loves of my life - two former wives. Who put up with the most. Then to the rest of you all that I have offended. Had I to do it over again, I would have been different all along the way"
Now in his 50's he was been a source of tremendous amounts of prayer in my life. He never understood that he is not 16 anymore and needed to step up and accept responsibility. He is not a Christian and has lived a solid pagan lifestyle and literally threw a fine mind and all potential away in a drug fueled lifetime.
Yeah, I know the process, I know the feeling of seeing yourself through the truth of someone else's eyes for the first time.
Back in January, confused, abandoned and then attacked - I sought God because their words could not possibly be true. And I could lick my wounds and know that they were lies but not why they had been directed at me. Then came the second attack and it was all over for me.
Like this man whom wrote me last night, God showed me, me: Proud, Arrogant, everything I hate in life - I had become. My boxes of awards and even the royalties I live off of now - all fueled the development of an arrogant and proud spirit before my fellow man - and unfortunately God himself. Sure I have a brain and know how to use it, but I never learned how to use a heart - once I had been given one.
I was shattered and emptied. I was suddenly a shell. There was nothing left in me. All there was in left in my life was two friends with no time for me and a raging Gaelic Girl to be sure I never have another positive comment in my life ever again. As for the one whom vanquished me, well they never knew what they had done - nor the cost I paid then and continue to recover from.
Yeah the young man from 1977, will once again have me query him about interest in God, he gets that from me every year but maybe this time he might be more open.
As for me, the old Kris' death began in 2013 and his burial was in January due to a broken spirit. In my personal life I am still struggling having to make make life changing choices in a vacuum, knowing that in 29 hours the end of my year will be sealed when i go into that cast and have no one I can rely on locally.
Yup it has been a challenging year.
Sigh ...
I want to tell all the people out there that have experienced my rudeness, brashness and thoughtlessness that I can see it now and understand the animosity I've created.
My apologies go out first to my family and those who have known me the longest. Next to my old flames and the loves of my life - two former wives. Who put up with the most. Then to the rest of you all that I have offended. Had I to do it over again, I would have been different all along the way"
Now in his 50's he was been a source of tremendous amounts of prayer in my life. He never understood that he is not 16 anymore and needed to step up and accept responsibility. He is not a Christian and has lived a solid pagan lifestyle and literally threw a fine mind and all potential away in a drug fueled lifetime.
Yeah, I know the process, I know the feeling of seeing yourself through the truth of someone else's eyes for the first time.
Back in January, confused, abandoned and then attacked - I sought God because their words could not possibly be true. And I could lick my wounds and know that they were lies but not why they had been directed at me. Then came the second attack and it was all over for me.
Like this man whom wrote me last night, God showed me, me: Proud, Arrogant, everything I hate in life - I had become. My boxes of awards and even the royalties I live off of now - all fueled the development of an arrogant and proud spirit before my fellow man - and unfortunately God himself. Sure I have a brain and know how to use it, but I never learned how to use a heart - once I had been given one.
I was shattered and emptied. I was suddenly a shell. There was nothing left in me. All there was in left in my life was two friends with no time for me and a raging Gaelic Girl to be sure I never have another positive comment in my life ever again. As for the one whom vanquished me, well they never knew what they had done - nor the cost I paid then and continue to recover from.
Yeah the young man from 1977, will once again have me query him about interest in God, he gets that from me every year but maybe this time he might be more open.
As for me, the old Kris' death began in 2013 and his burial was in January due to a broken spirit. In my personal life I am still struggling having to make make life changing choices in a vacuum, knowing that in 29 hours the end of my year will be sealed when i go into that cast and have no one I can rely on locally.
Yup it has been a challenging year.
Sigh ...
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