HOLY HUMOR

A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what  the Bible means!"

His father smiled and  replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?

The son replied, "I do know!"

"Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?"

"That is easy, Daddy..." the young boy replied excitedly," It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'

*********

There was a very  gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible  to her brother in another part of the  country.

"Is there anything breakable in here?"  asked the Postal clerk.

"Only the Ten  Commandments.", answered the Lady.

*********

"Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and  say, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those who  wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's  morning."

*********

A minister parked  his car in a no-parking zone because he was short of time and couldn't find a  space with a meter.

Then he put a note under  the windshield wiper that read:
        "I have circled  the block 10 times. If I don't park here,
        I'll  miss my appointment. Forgive us our
        Trespasses."

When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this  note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into
Temptation."

*********

There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news  and bad news.  The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your Pockets."

*********

While driving in Pennsylvania , a family  caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because  attached to the back of the carriage was a hand  printed sign...

"Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust."

*********

A Sunday School  teacher began her lesson with a question,
"Boys  and girls, what do we know About God?"

A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!"

"Really?  How do you know?", the teacher asked.

"You know – ‘Our Father, who does art in Heaven...’ “

*********

A  minister waited in line to have his car filled  with gas just before a long holiday weekend.  The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars  ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.  "Reverend," said the  young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay . It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get  ready for a long trip."

The minister chuckled,  "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."

*********

People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center of attention.

*********

Sunday, after church, a mother asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about.

The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt."

Needless to say, the mother was perplexed.  Later in the day, the Pastor stopped by for tea and the mother asked him what that morning's Sunday school  lesson was about.

He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is Coming."

*********

Things For Prayer

So posting via my homeland ISP, so that I will at least have a Monday posting!  I am unfortunately off with my mother at the hospital today.  Not real sure what is up and she is having some exploratory surgery - with any luck her doctors will figure out what it is they are looking for.  Your prayers today are greatly appreciated.  And as always with my family, her making her peace with God is always the most important issue....  but first I have to get up at 5am to drive down and get her to the surgeons by 8!  .....yawn.....

While mom is in surgery, I am going to work on my application to go to college.  It would be good not to be so bored around the house and maybe even be an example for a certain son.  But, to do so, I will need funding - so that is what my application will be for - and if I do this right, my ex-employer will get to pay for it - but the government gets to decide if I will get a grant or have them pay.  :^)  I would probably prefer to get certification as a gunsmith or go to a non Nazi run art school but neither would be elegible for grants.  So, I know computer technology - thus it would make sense to pursue my way through a degree in such.  Yeah, my doctorate work in apologetics seems to not be worth the paper it is printed on - at least to mankind.....  And, being a pastor has never been my calling!  It will be an interesting time on my pc as I figure this process out.  I have until Friday to get this right; Friday is my paperwork review.

It was an interesting Sunday:
I ran into African Missionary Girl, aka, Kim - whom married and moved to the east coast this past year.  She and her husband were here and it was great to visit with them.  She is no longer on Blogger so I get no updates from her.  So, it was nice to know she is alive and happy with her husband.
Italian Missionary Girl, now confirmed Virtual Fourth Daughter, also visited for a while and is quite excited to get together later this week for the first of our weekly meetings.  It is a load off of my mind and a prayer all week long that this will be going well - for whatever purpose God has brought this about over.  Scarey to know you are being used by God and not knowing why.
Then I needed to pick up some art supplies for Christmas projects and I ran into one of my missing college girls from last year!  She is from Baja, Mexico and as sharp as a tack - and so traumatized from her time in Mexico that she can not handle life.  She is MIT level smart and I really hope she will get her act together this year and get into college based on her robotics work over the past two years.  Lots of prayer needed here for her to manage this!  I hate to see brilliance wasted.....
And finally, my class today only had one show up.  Unknown to anyone, this class was to be on exposing Satan and his work.  Every time I present this material - almost no one comes.  It is like clock work.  Satan really hates exposure and it is amazing how so many can be so waylaid from attending on those exact Sundays!

Vasily Alekseev

I was traveling to a very small town on the northern edge of the Caucasus Mountains.  Through truly a "God Thing", I had found the two children I had been searching for to complete my family.  A town so small, I had to pay for a telephone line to be run to the village so that I could speak (through an interpreter) with the director of the regional orphanage!  What I was looking for would not have been found in person nor through words - but discernment only.  I had to know, if what I thought I knew, was true.

 Having confirmed this, I next needed to do some research on the area and figure out what to expect once I got there.  With my incredible luck, this was the scene of the largest tank battle in WWII and had been lovingly under German domination during the war (NOT!).  So, Germans were going to be hated even worse there than they had been in Siberia the year before.  Sigh.....

One interesting fact about this small backwater: Vasily Alekseev had retired here.  Vasily was the giant of the heavyweight lifting of the Olympics. 

It was 1972, in Munich, the summer Olympic Games.  "Carlos", the unconfirmed mastermind behind the  execution squad attack on the Israeli team (and confirmed scum sucking swine), had damaged the Olympic image.  The world was in shock.

But, then there was Vasily Alekseev.  He was destined to win two Olympic Gold Medals, become eight time world champion, set 80 world records and lifted a massive 645 kg (1,419 pounds!).  This man lifted more weight than anyone has ever come close to.  One of my favorite pictures of him was his lifting the engine end of a VW Beetle over his head, the front wheels still on the ground!  It took six of us teenagers to duplicate that lift!  Well, we were not exactly thinking that one through (hint: a few problems putting it back down.....  The history teacher was NOT happy that afternoon.).

When I was to visit his small town, I really wanted to meet the man but he was having severe breathing and heart problems the month I was there.  Though I was not able to meet with him, I was to meet a very friendly lady whom did know him personally and went to him to ask for his signature for me.  He sent me a flyer on him, which he signed.  She also told me that he was touched to hear that someone would come so far to help two of the orphans of his village.

Since his fame as an athlete, he went on to become a business man and a power broker in the region.  Last I had heard, he was training his grandson to become an Olympic heavyweight lifter - as he had been.  He was plagued by bad lungs, bad heart, weight problems and all of his joints were worn out.  He paid heavily for those Olympic years.

In spite of some of the stories I heard about him when I was there, he left a piece of his town's history for me to share with my daughters from there.  He did not have to, I would have understood, the girls had probably never heard of him anyways.  But, he chose to do something for children he did not know.  I respect that in any man.  I hope he made his peace with his Creator, prior to his death in a Munich, Germany cardiology hospital.  He was 69.

One death I feel the world is poorer for.....

Interesting

So it was an interesting day, yesterday.

Dinner prep went well, the turkey took 30 minutes longer than expected to cook but was just about perfect.  Stuffing was a bit different in consistency as I had used different types of bread to make it with - ciabatta might not be the best choice in bread for this!   Totally forgot the veggies, guess there is a whole lot of corn on the cob in my future.  And, based on the prior two years of disaster revolving around gravy - I bought some.  It was good - not clumpy or greasy - just perfect and oh so stress free!  Youngest daughter made pumpkin pies, which were great.

My mother is a bit tricky to be around.  She pretty much has no concern for anyone other than herself - a lifelong affliction, so not a pleasant guest.  However, she was well behaved for one of the few times in my life!  Gaelic Girl was subdued as she has pneumonia it turns out and mother broke two toes on her foot.  GG and mother have NEVER gotten along with one another - and they were both pleasant to one another for the first time EVER!  So, no fights, no yelling matches, nothing thrown or slammed!  Wow!  How different is that?!?!?!?!?

When I dropped YD off at her store this morning, it was standing room only in the parking
lot!  Wow, outside of a Christmas Eve, I am not sure I have seen so a lot so full of cars!

As I was driving back home the radio was reporting on some woman in California pepper spraying other customers so she could get the electronic items she wanted.  Yeah, and people say Californians are normal.....  I hope she enjoys the holidays in jail for that one!

Well, I am warmed up now and it is time to get back to clean up.....

Happy Thanksgiving!

Well, I am busy today getting ready for having my mother over for a first Thanksgiving Day together in a few decades....

Yeah, no stress here!

I am doing a German style cured turkey, chestnut stuffing, hatchepuut (mashed potatoes and carrots), gravy, corn on the cob, salad, Waldorf salad, biscuits, pumpkin pie and lemon lust.  hmmmmm!  Yes, a busy day.

Hope you have a great day and far more peaceful than mine will be.

Being A Blessing

Thinking on John 9:1-5.

The Pharisees were looking to assign blame for the man's blindness.  However, Jesus was looking at the opportunity to bless the young man and his parents.

Of course, given the events across the past several days, I am seeing this verse in light of how can I be a blessing to others.  Saint Francis of Assisi took this to the extreme - living his life completely for others - which may not be so far fetched as an application - or could be an over reaction for you to follow his example.

Consider:
1 Peter 3:18 - Jesus died for others
John 15:13 - "... to die for those we love ..."

I am not suggesting you go to the point of death to be a blessing to others (unless it happens to be God's obvious will in your life at that moment!) but, this is an example we can see of the kind of commitment we should have to one another.  For one it maybe death, for another financial sacrifice, or as happened with me - to actually drop all of my walls and get real with a hurting sister/virtual daughter at that moment in time.

Of course, the absolute minimum any of us can do is to get serious in praying for others - whose needs we become aware of.

Which brings to mind, that if you are going to be in prayer for someone, or even for yourself, you have to give  God the freedom to answer prayers His way.  That also requires you understand God is going to bless you, or others you are praying for, His way as well!

Things Better Not Known

Did you ever hear the old saying, "Never let the pastor babysit your parrot."?  Of course, the idea is that you really do not want the parrot repeating to the pastor what is said in your house.  By the same token, loaning out your teenager might be a bad idea as well.

Yeah, I have had a close friend's teenager staying here (yes, from Europe).  And what a handful!  He is a nice 15 year old kid, but his language really leaves a great deal to be desired - far too many swear words.  But, then again I know behind my back my kids swear like sailors are said to - and it is the very rare occasion I hear my father's words depart my mouth!  So, perhaps this young man is just mimicking his culture back home and not his parents.  On the other hand, I know the particular words he uses are those his mother uses in frustration.... Hmmmm.

But the real shocker was when I picked up my latest Sunset magazine to read, "Oh, you just got your Playboy?"  What the ........ ?????  Then it dawned on me, why would he even associate magazine, with "Playboy", if it was not something found in his home?

My mind actually hick-upped.  A brother of over 25 years, a solid Christian, whose weaknesses I thought I knew all of - apparently is slipping sideways.  His wife is going to kill him.

So young man was surprised to learn that there are no girlie magazines in my house and I really do not approve of such!  I think his mind hick-upped at that point!

It is not hard to notice that he is so filled with anger and rage.  Am I beginning to see the effect of sin within his family?  It breaks my heart but tells me what I must be praying for and about.

I have long suspected that the spiritual welfare of a family is directly related to the strength of the father.  Father fails - family fails.  Father can walk the talk - family has a chance of success.  Of course our children can choose to do right or to do wrong even without any outside input.

When my kids chose wrong - is it because I have chosen wrong?  Is it something in my life that headed them the wrong way?  Well, I hope to learn the answer to that question one day.  And I really hope the answer is no, I would like to know that I did the best I could....

Turkey

"Hey, Pops!  Where's the turkey recipe?"

"Out on the recipe site."

"Nope."

And, she was right.  I have been so distracted for months that I have failed to complete restoring my recipes.  Sigh.

Ok, so my dear - and for those of you whom may care:
http://pleasures-in-cooking.blogspot.com/2006/07/dry-cured-turkey.html

It will be a quiet Thanksgiving this year.  Oldest daughter is hosting her own dinner, middle daughter is working, youngest daughter will be joining me, son is working, Italian Missionary Girl is traveling, but Gaelic Girl will be up here.  She heard something about snow and is quite excited to leave the Texan sage brush for some white.....

Soft Boiled Eggs

As I was trying to wind down last night and go to sleep, for some reason I began thinking about soft boiled eggs.  Now I have no idea why that came to mind but it was interesting to remember some humorous events associated with soft boiled eggs.....

Remembering that I am European - eating something as simple as a soft boiled egg can not be a simple process.  First there is the egg cup, of which there are two varieties - single and double.  The single is pretty simple - end of egg goes in opening.  The double is not as believed to either eat the egg from shell by inserting in the small bowl and the large bowl for cracking the egg and extracting contents into the bowl.  No, the large end is where you put your second egg to keep warm while you eat the first one inserted in the small bowl.  Except, which end of the egg goes into the small bowl? 

Well, there are two schools of thought - narrow and wide.  You actually have to look and see if anyone else is having soft boiled eggs and which end they are using to eat the egg from.  It would never do to offend someone else's sense of propriety by eating from the opposite end!  Always good to arrive early to breakfast so you can eat your egg the way you like it (from the wide end!) and force everyone else to eat from the wide end as well!

Next, we have the tiny little spoon you are to eat your egg with - and no, you do not crack the shell with the backside of the little spoon - how uncultured!  You gently tap the area to peel the shell way from with the side of your knife.

And then you have the egg to consider.  Those whom are egg connoisseurs will tell you that a three minute egg is perfect.  Yeah, if you like runny white near the yolk.  Of course, a five minute egg is well on its way to being hard boiled, not acceptable at all.  I like a three minute egg not plunged into cold water to hold the cooked point, but rather let it continue to cook from residual heat until eaten.

The last time I ordered a soft boiled egg was when I was on a trip to Detroit (what a disaster that one was!).  I was the only one in the restaurant that morning and so could hear the argument my order brought from the kitchen - how long do you fry an egg to make it soft boiled?  I almost chocked on my grapefruit juice I was laughing so hard.  The manager told me later he fired the two of them before the lunch service began.....

Didn't know such a simple subject could be so convoluted, did you?

Sometimes They Get It Right

Several of my friends are conspiracy nuts.  You would not believe the volume of questions I get from them daily on what the latest and greatest conspiracy theory is they have stumbled across!

Now I am not someone whom buys into conspiracies.  I see conspiracies all of the time - but they are rooted in the spiritual world, albeit with very physical outcomes in our world!  My cousin's teacher hates him - well yeah.  Cousin is a Christian, his professor (whom I know) is so far removed from Christian thought that it is not amazing that the spirit within him can not tolerate to even be around my cousin!  My kids have a mean boss and whom deals 'unfairly' with them - want to take a wild guess as to why?  For no reason at all, someone - whom is probably a really nice person in reality - dive bombs your car on the freeway.  Why you?  Just take a guess.  Yeah. as Christians you need to be aware of what does go on around you and try to figure out why.  Kris' rule of thumb: If you are doing something right, then the most bizarre of occurrences are about to happen to you, to distract you or stop you if at all possible!

So, conspiracies do exist.  But, they are rarely of the kind my friends are always wrapped around the axle over. 

The latest one has to do with yet another theory woven around yet another UFO coverup and conspiracy to  turn us all into robots to serve the aliens.  But, the guy did say something that was spot on:
"....one of these days 7 billion people are going to be waking up and realizing that they have been wasting their lives...."

How truer can you get?  One day all of mankind, across all of history is going to wake up and realize that they had indeed been wasted their lives.  Unfortunately, by then it will be too late because at that point they will be facing the Judgment Seat of the Christ!  And I would include more than just a smattering of Christians in that crowd - whom have been serving themselves and not following the will of a God whom is not the fluffy teddy-bear they thought he was!  But, as I said, it is too late for them.

All the more reason we need to be getting our lives right with God and then being the witness He needs to reach out to our fellow man.....  It can be as small as being nice to the guy behind the Wendy's counter, or being honest with a cashier whom gave you too much change back, or even actually witnessing to someone you honestly care about.....

Jesus, the Christ

(I really hate it when anyone says "Jesus Christ", who the heck is that?!?!?!? His name, for us in English is Jesus, Christ is his title or position if you will.  It is like saying Bob Brick Layer, Fred Major General or Kris Retiree!  Heavens, get it right Western Christians!)

Big idea here is: How Are You Answering The Most Important Question Ever Asked?

Reading and thinking on John 8:48-59.....

Who cares who Jesus is?
Is it important to you to really know?
Nothing is more important than your understanding whom Jesus is.
He is the center of your entire understanding and relationship!
What forms your faith/understanding/belief springs from this:
- the deity of Jesus.
He is God
He is the Son of God
His unique birth
His unmatched ministry (think on those miracles!)
His prophecy fulfilling death
His resurrection

Who do "they" say Jesus is?
Yes, even unchurched, unbelievers, disbelievers have a belief in whom Jesus is!
He is a butt of humor.
He is belittled.
He is "All show".
etc

But, all they see of him, is not the real Jesus.....

Who does Jesus say Jesus is?
The Pharisees understood very well what Jesus said to them.  In verse 59, he claimed God-hood!  And they sought then to kill him!
He forgave sin.
He healed the body.
He claimed knowledge in excess of his age.

 "I Am, who I Am" - the God of Israel.  Yeah, there were a little angered at that one!

Claims:
- The Way
- Son of God
- Power in Heaven
- Angels obey
- Judges man
- All authority
- Forgives sin
- Raises the dead
- Rest for your soul
- Came from heaven
- Divine human
- Sinless
- Eternal
- With you always (eternally)

Who do you say Jesus is?
You really do need to have an answer here.  You need to know whom Jesus is if you are ever understand what He did.
Was he a liar?  If so, the best one ever.  He died for whom he thought he was.
Was he a lunatic?  I think the Christian and non-Christian writers of his time discount that one.
Was he Lord of all?  Well, that is whom he said he was.....

Guy Health Status

Thought you all might like to know how my friends and me are doing.

Dutchman is just fine, Swede will be in surgery next week for some horrible repairs, brother-in-law now has an artificial bladder and recovering from that, cousin and I are doing very well, and finally friend in Oregon is not returning emails but I heard he is off working on his new antique car.

Prayers do get answered!  That freak day, when all of us were in the hospital yielded some much needed repairs for one, emergency cancer surgery for one, and for me the knowledge that it was indeed the Canadian shellfish poisoning which took out one kidney.  grrrrrrrrr!

Although cousin may have suffered the worst of it (outside of those whom are having surgery!), it is good.

Why, God?

In John 9:1-3, we have a normal - natural question asked of Jesus.  Why do bad things happen to good people?  Why did 'xyz' happen to me?  What did I do to deserve this?

Such as good verse for this day, as you read this I will either be in or being prepped for another cancer screening.  I may never fully figure out why I have to go through this, but I'm called in faith to live life's experiences out to its ultimate conclusion......

Refuse to draw straight lines!
In this verse, why is this man suffering?  The man probably had heightened hearing due to his blindness, so he heard the question - as well as the answer!  It is a standard question, something many of us might have asked or wondered.  Of course, the answer has to be sin but whose sin was it which brought this blindness upon this man?  Jesus answered it was no ones sin!  It is for God's Glory, at that moment alone!

Think of Luke 13, where twice we are told that SIN does not equal  SUFFERING !

Resist the temptation to tell others why you think they are suffering!
Remember that SIN does not equal SUFFERING.
Remember that PERFORMANCE does not equal SUFFERING.
We all deserve punishment!  Because of our Greek philosophical upbringing in our western culture, we want to see cause and effect.  But we are not smart enough to be right about how God works!
(However, if you believe that you possess the gift of discernment, then you already know that any knowledge God gives you is for the uplifting of the suffering person - not their condemnation nor to make you feel superior.....)

Realize that the causes of suffering are countless!
Personal choices can bring suffering but Jesus tells us we are not always right as to how or why there is suffering.
Numbers 12:1-16, suffering caused by sin
Jonah 1, suffering caused by another's sin
Job 1, suffering caused by Satan
II Corinthians 12, suffering caused to humble
Genesis 45-50, suffering causes growth for future service

Respond to suffering with spiritual discernment.
Be faithful, seek God.  It is about eternity.
Never stop seeking answers.
Learn your lessons.
Accept transformation.

To The Memory of Those Whom Fought On All Sides

Americans now call it Veteran's Day, but it was known as Armistice Day when I was growing up - the day World War I, The War To End All Wars, came to an end officially.  Unofficially, it was another eight months of hell for the Germans because the French refused to surrender their weapons and it was still open season on any unarmed German.  They never did do very well against the armed ones.  Little piece of history not exactly preserved in the victor's history.

But, this day held special meaning to me because I grew up on the Maginot Line, in the Ardennes Forest; the ruins wrought by WWI surrounding me.  Of course, with my love for history I was all over the place hunting, exploring, learning.  There were still villas which had never been repaired following that war, trenches and bunkers whose intent had to be deciphered, as well as, the original French fortifications whose narrow gun ports had all pointed in the wrong direction.  You would be surprised at what you can learn by observation and thought - thinking through how did a bunker fall, where did the shot come from which made a bullet hole in a wall or tree.  And let us not forget calculating where the German rail guns had been hidden, from impact data in Paris.  Fascinating stuff.

Of course, it is the early 1960's and no one really cared anymore, except around Verdun, where the French released mustard gas on the German forces, without checking the winds first and almost annihilated their army from existence.....  The gas still sits in the soil awaiting wind storms to pick it up and drop in the valley of tiny Verdun below.

I have never fought in a war, it has been my express desire since becoming a Christian to never take a human life.  As a child I would sit in those 50 year old trenches and peer over to where the enemy would be coming from.  What had the soldiers thought whom had lived and died in those trenches.  What made them climb out to rush head-on into the German lines and their heavy machine guns?  They had to have known they would die, yet they did it anyway.

I have known many WWI veterans, from all sides of the war.  None of them really wanted to be there, all of them were pretty sure that if they had killed anyone it was a complete accident - throw lead in the air to keep the officers happy.  Several held the Croix de Guerre, one even held the US Congressional Medal of Honor, if ever I can find a picture of him, I will tell his story - how to get a CMH and not kill a soul!  My favorite tale teller held the Pour le Merite (also known the as 'The Blue Max'), Germany's highest award for valor.  What I would have given to have his metal - not so much for value but for the memories we shared.  Of all of them, none wore their metals or ribbons, even on Armistice Day, save for a few of the French on this day alone.

Without exception, all of those I knew from WWI lost their faith in mankind, a few their minds, and a few more their faith in God.  How could mankind have fought so uncivilized a war - over so poor of an excuse for war?  Truly, it was the war of Victoria's spoiled grandchildren! Farmers from the US were not prepared to face German technology.  No one was.  Even being German I can say I am glad the Allied Powers were able to end the war, and as a German sorrowful that politicians were allowed to negotiate the terms of surrender.  That little sticking point was what brought WWII to Europe.

This is now the first year where there are no survivors from those trenches left alive.  And yet, their memory and their stories must live on - if ever we are to learn from history - so it will never be repeated again.....

Even as a Hutterite, therefore a pacifist, I still appreciate veterans and the price they have paid for their beliefs - on either side of a conflict.  To those whom have fought for the concept of freedom - I thank you.

Fighting The Enemy

Returning again to John 8:44-47.

Satan is like a master fisherman.  He is excellent at hiding his hook in the bait which mankind will most likely bite on! And, then you are his, or your witness has been destroyed.  But, then that is the entire point of the game he plays with all of mankind.....

Know Your Enemy!
Satan means adversary.
Devil means slanderer.
Beelzebub means Lord of the Flies.
He is also known as:

• The serpent
• The tempter
• Prince of this world
• Prince of the demons
• God of his age

Make no mistake, he is your enemy.  You are at war with him.

 Study Satan's modis operandi (MO for those of you whom watch too much TV!).
Satan is a LIAR and a MURDER and has been from that first encounter with man.
His goal is to side track you from serving God and being an effective witness.
He will use:

• Deception
• Doubt
• Discouragement
• Diversions
• Defeat
• Delay

 Whomever is the weakest liink in your life - he will use to pull you from what you must be doing to serve God.  Question is, are you strong enough to stand against friends, family and loved ones - once you have identified them as being used by your accuser.....

Identify and Understand Your Weaknesses.
Know that all power is really God's.
That all wealth is really God's.
That your failures are really sins against God.  (To quote Bill Bright, sin - (exhail your) confession - (breathe in) forgiveness, his idea of spiritual breathing)
Resist the lies of Satan that would make you think otherwise!

Stick Together With Your Christian Family.
Love,
Forgive,
Serve,
Encourage.
Confession with - hold one another accountable!

Walk Boldly In The Truth.
You have nothing to fear....

Is It A Cult?

So, the strange message I got Monday, was from a family whose college daughter they fear is slipping into a cult. 

Instantly, I can think back and realize she has never attended any of classes since I have been at that church.  So I am surprised how, this young lady is headed in the wrong direction.....?  Apparently, she has done two conferences with this suspicious group and very interested in going all the way through their offerings.  Think real $$$$$ here!

I am always the ultimate skeptic, so I am not going to consider the family's concern as valid nor invalid.  I have to do a little research to figure this out for myself.

Now the group in question is one of the many of the self improvement groups professionals consider to help invigorate their careers.  The internet presents them in the light of being a leadership training / self help / inspirational conference provider.  Now I know nothing about this group, but I do know of the ilk - my last company sent all of their golden boys to the offerings of similar providers.  A quick look at their web site and you can find that they address the usual problems Americans are troubled by: poor self image, poor communication skills, poor non-verbal communication skills, poor ability to interpret their surroundings, etc.  You can go for the big bucks and learn how to dress for success, talk like you are educated and successful, have real confidence in yourself, learn the latest ideas on teaming, etc. 

All external fluff, cause it is the inside of man that needs changed not their outside....  But we are talking the world's values here after all.  The founder has even written a book covering his ideas by comparing what the code of the samurai with what great leaders (like you should be) have in common.  You too can learn not be a loser.  Everybody wants that, right?  And yes, I did read quite a bit of the book - it is just not a subject I am interested in.

Whomever did their website design gets a Kris' Golden Gummi Award!  It is very well done - does everything to project the group in a positive light - and yet say as little as possible about what it is they do or what you can expect to gain from attending their seminars!  Its content is totally vacuous! And as a prospective client I am interested - why?

Since their site presents nothing about their product, very little about their instructors and lots about their benevolence activities - obviously we are looking at a group whom has public image problems!  Or, at the least. has taken flak from the public and so now are trying to show that they do benefit others.  At least that is the message one can get from reading through their site and what is not on their site.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

If we start with Dale Carnegie and his, I'm Okay, Your Okay, (don't even get me started on that guy!).  Continue on in time to seeing how eastern religions were combined with those ideas to form Eckankar, a popular 1970 through 1980's cult.  And then springboard into the millennium with numerous self help and positive image groups - you have to wonder why.

From a totally human perspective, I have no problem with any of the non-religious groups.  They provides a service for people to try and get ahead via attending.  But, I do have a problem with this young lady taking this route.....

Why?  Because she is a Christian.  To be thinking in such a way that she NEEDS this training in order to "get ahead", then her eyes have to be fully and completely focused on the world - not what she is called to be as a Christian.

If you are a Christian and you are having self image problems, you are wanting to "get ahead", you want to be in leadership, learn to communicate better - have I got an offer for you!

• Turn your eyes back upon Jesus
• Get down on your knees and humble yourself before Him
• Turn off the TV, pick up your Bible and start to STUDY it
• Go to a real Bible school where relationship not religion is taught
• Go on the mission field or into service for Him, not yourself

If you can do this, you will have accomplished not only everything you will have been seeking but also all in an eternal sense.....

Now, my advice to the family?  Try to woo her away from the world and its success she is hungering for.  Encourage her to attend Ecole Hall in Cannon Beach, Oregon for a year.  Her church is heavily involved in missions in Seattle, Mexico, Liberia, Chile, etc.  So, plenty of opportunity out there - just within their sponsorships.

Failing this, try to support her discovering she is not a loser and if she hates her life - change it!  Get a different job, better education - even at night, whatever it is that will help her gain the confidence in herself she lacks.  Going to a conference and not changing anything back home, is not going to help her in the long term.....  Will she go, I would bet on it.  Will it hurt her, I doubt it.  Will she succeed because of it?  You never know how God is going to either frustrate your activities or use them for His benefit - not yours.

Prayer item.

Of Family, Friends and A Horrible Day

It was a day for the books, I tell ya.....

Yesterday, I drove down to where my mother lives, a little over an hour from here, to have lunch with her and my sister.   And, weren't they both in just a mood!  I have seen stray cats in my yard get along better than these two hissing and spitting females.  If anything, my presence merely gave them something different to hiss and spit at.  Kris, however, does not do well in these situations so I was torn between being an adult and getting their faces - or - being a complete smart ass and mocking them.  Wanna guess which one I chose?

As I said, it did not go well; I may not have chosen wisely.  It is really unfortunate I never was able to crack the education and training of my early years in European schools.  I have often considered that I am far too polite and willing to take far too much (flak) from others - in the name of politeness.  Especially, when in reality they just need a good smack upside their head with a brick.  Sigh.

Unfortunately, I really wanted a few hours alone with Sommer so we could talk about father.  The major reason I have created my little biography on him is so that his last wife (and possibly any of the other 7) whom might like to remember him, could have a little memory book.  (Yes, their versions would be heavily edited not to include other wives, etc..)  With any luck, I will have it done come the end of next year - but I really need my sister so I can work some of her material in.  Being the golden-child, her perspective is a little different than mine.  Sigh.

Then back home was bad news that my mining friend of so long ago is now bedridden, his lumbars apparently collapsing and leaving him unable to sit up or walk.  This makes me very sad to think of him in this way.  Even sadder in that, when I was down visiting him last January for his birthday, he totally shut down any attempt to witness to him.  God has got to - well God has got to nothing - but I tell you this man really needs to make peace with his Creator mighty quickly....  Maybe you can add Dick to your your prayer list for the next few months.

My only other message was a strange request for some counseling advice from a family in the church I barely know.  But, I will save that one for tomorrow because you might be interested in the subject matter and it will be a bit long to explain.....

A Shooting Hits Too Close To Home

If you are a long time reader you know that the travails of my teenage son have driven me to distraction over the past 18 months.  Pretty much he has been in fail mode for the whole of this time and I am at the point where nothing would surprise me any more - I thought.....

So, Friday night he and his friends all decided to go out on a group date.  What?!?!?!? My son is going to do something right for a change?  Yes, indeed, it seems he is starting to think about past failures and actually changing behavior to what that "grumpy old man" told him was the way to do things.

But, the night did not go too well.  Since I already have heard this on the international news services, in all likelihood, you have heard about this already, as well.  You also probably saw his last ex-girlfriend being interviewed!  ( I miss her she is a sweet kid....)

So, son comes home from having watched, The Tower Heist, with his coed group of friends and is pretty chipper.  He roams off to play video games - I retire to my continued codeine haze for the past two weeks.

A little past two in the morning, he is on the phone with one of the "hotties" of the group when she is killed by a hail of bullets.

Seems she went over to a local parking area, down by the water, nice area actually.  But, still what was she doing there at 2am?  Yeah.  In any event. two gangs got into a shouting match and one group decides to teach the other a lesson and pump some rounds into the cars in the parking lot.  No one apparently knew the girl was in the car - she took four rounds.  Loud mouth from the unarmed group caught one round when he dove behind the car.  Shooters take off, unarmed group calls the paramedics and the police, then they find the girl.

I am hoping son sees this as a wake up call - that trash talking others can have dire consequences.  At least I hope he learns a lesson from this.....  And like so many kids around here, she really could have used a relationship with Jesus.  Sigh.

As for the kids around here, they are all in a bit of shock.  Many knew her, heavens, even I had run into her several times in the past few months.  I was really surprised when I saw her picture on the news yesterday - I did not know her name, she was just a nice, normal kid.

Simply amazing.

Musical Saturday Morning

This video dates from 2009 but the music from 1980's so it works in keeping with my musical theme.  For some reason I always thought that Debbie Harry did this, so was surprised to not find it under any Blondie works.  Nena I guess is whom it was I was remembering.  Well, as you will see they look so much alike!

Oh yeah, the English title is 99 Red Balloons, in German 99 Luft (Air) Balloons.  It was written as a satire concerning the Berlin Wall and how even balloons were perceived threats....

Nervous

So, I am nervously sitting here, waiting to go to see the specialist in an hour.  I am not really looking forward to this.  I dread the thought of hearing the "C" word again.  But, then again, you are stuck with the cards you are dealt and God promises to get us through whatever life throws up in our lives.  Sigh.

Gaelic Girl is coming up this afternoon, my sister flew in the other day, mother is wound tighter that a set of pig-tails on a 7 year old girl and the kids are all being nice.  Middle daughter even brought over some movies and bottles of ice tea to keep me awake and happy.  Hmmmmmm, maybe there is a positive side to all of this?

Swede is up for surgery in a few weeks for whatever they are going to do to him and his condition - it sounds worse than what I imagine will happen to me.  Dutchman is up and about, as are all of the others whom all ended up in the hospital on the same day!  Which is good - though really freaky.  I had so many at church last weekend comment on how utterly bizarre it was that happened all at once.  It was not like we were all out drinking contaminated water or something!

UPDATE:
All of the tests proved nothing other than impaired kidney function.  So nasty tests in two weeks.  Great, just great, they do think it is cancer.....

Oh Fudge-icles!

I heard that from one of the kids at church and had a hearty laugh over that one!  Wonder how much frustration it takes for a five year old to get stressed that bad.  LOL!

But that is a good post title for this week!  Seems yours truly finally managed to do an overdraft on his checking account!  First time ever.  Luckily, I do have overdraft protection but still it really irritates me to make a blunder like that!  So, I had to figure out what went wrong.....

I usually keep $300 in my checkbook as a zero balance so I never have this problem.  My math is indeed so bad that +/- $100 when I balance is about as good as it ever gets.  Then twice a year I write no checks and see what my balance comes to at the end of the month and we begin again.  No, using a calculator does not help - big fingers, tiny buttons - same problem I have with cell phones!

In the end, it turned out that a loan I took out to pay for father's funeral trip costs had a pay date of the 15th, but I did not know that - so had budgeted to pay on the 30th.  Well, since I did not have the payment amount on the 15th, they drew down my savings to zero, maxed my VISA card, zeroed out my checking account and then hit me with $60 in fees to make a point.  Yeah, Kris is not a happy camper now with no savings and negative checking and credit limits.  Grrrrrrr!

As I told God, well thank you for the gentle reminder.....  Now, I really could use some money, any ideas God?

Another Raspberry Moment

So, I was to lose it again on Sunday morning.  I am running late, because I came home late Saturday - I was out playing with Swede after all, then I overslept, kitchen is a disaster thanks to my persona non-Grata son and so I pick up a bunch of stuff off of the table to go in the refrigerator.  I open the refrigerator door and

SWOOSH!

Out comes a cascade of refrigerated products the kids had just thrown into the refrigerator - not even bothering to set things on the shelves!  The worst of it was a tub of margarine that exploded when it hit the floor and then rolled across the kitchen and the diningroom living a trail of grease in its path.....  I lost it.

I threw everything in my arms on the floor and began screaming - out of my sheer frustration with the unbelievable pigs infesting my life!  So great my frustration - I hauled off and kicked one of my counters!

Now you have to remember that although Kris is a pacifist, he was trained to do horrible things to people by the military in his younger years.  The kick was perfect, the one inch thick plywood crumbled under the impact.

Yeah, I now have a very clean floor, a broken counter, extremely well behaved children, and a broken heal bone.....

Another extraordinary event in the history of Raspberry Moments and eight weeks of hobbling again on crutches.  Tomorrow is CAT Scan day neck, foot, abdomen - such fun.

Raspberry Moment

Raspberry Moments are those rare occurences when Kris loses all control due to - well you decide why.....

It all started back in 1985 or so.  I had my first house and was making raspberry jam and syrup for the family for Christmas.  I worked very hard in crushing and sieving roughly ten gallons of raspberry pulp and then put it all into the refrigerator for overnight.  Gaelic Girl was going to come over and help the following morning with the canning.  Well, that was the plan in any event.

Bright and early, I get hot water started, canning jars washed, lids in a hot water bath, everything is awaiting GG's arrival.  I trot into the pantry, where the refrigerator is, open the door and

SWOOSH!

The racks in the refrigerator had collapsed and I was hit by a wall of raspberry puree!  Once I had gotten back up, I was pissed, really pissed!  And so, GG whom had now arrived was to find me in a sea of raspberry sauce throwing other things from the refrigerator onto the floor while screaming, "You may as well as join your friends!"

Yeah, it was not pretty.

Clearinghouse

So, it seems in my circles I am the central clearinghouse for information!  Almost all of my ill friends have contacted me back and said, "xyz was in hospital too?!?!?!?"  Really funny.  Yes, if it is male, I have known him over 10 years, then he was in the hospital.  Just too weird.

Swede came over and spent Saturday with me.  On the one hand he has been through what I am going to face this week and wanted to tell me what to expect - on the other he was obsessed with the thought of me dying.  I think he thinks, that just because everyone thinks he is next, that pre-empts my body's slow down.  LOL.

Too Funny!

Okay, maybe only I find that one as funny as I do!  But, hey, you know I am not going to die one second earlier or later than God figured on before I was even born.  So, Kris has no problems here with the subject other than I have a great many projects I would like to finish first - like a VW I want to trick out and at least take ONE trip with!

As for the body, well, neurologically something is being impeded.  The what, how and why are just not known right now.  But, maybe by Friday....