Application of a Soap Opera

I would not be anything, if not a dolt, if I did not comment that the soap opera unfolding around here has had some impact with me.  When you consider that this tale has involved a runaway bride, jilted husband, online love interest and more than a bit of licentious goings on - it suddenly seems to have a familiar ring to it.  The role I played in that tale was the jilted husband.


Amazing to realize that it has been almost 40 years since I graduated college, did the civil filing for my marriage to the Swedish Model, left for a one month trip around Mexico (my gift to myself for actually making it through school!).  (Under Swiss law you must have a governmental approved marriage, hence civil union, however most Christians opt for the religious ceremony as being the actual point of marriage, even though, you are already legally married.)  Then returning home to find out that my bride-in-waiting (for our religious ceremony) and best friend were hard at it.  Yeah, just a bit of a surprise.

It took me years to get past the betrayal.  But have always been thankful to God I discovered her failings before I was truly stuck.  In time I forgave her, even having lunch with her a few times when she worked for my company.  I figured out that I had truly loved her - or at least the person I had known.  She died in my heart that Saturday morning, but in her faith and eventually, psychologically as well.  The still single - never married, middle aged woman whom exists today, no longer resembles the young woman I loved.  That young woman is long dead (her annulment just nailed the coffin shut).  Then decades later, through an unexpected friendship, I found those memories suddenly awakened and having to deal with them all over again!  Maybe that was my mid-life crisis?  May I not have to go through a year like that again!!!!!  And maybe that was a God thing too.....

As for my ex-best friend, I honestly tried to forgive him - it does take two to tango as they say.  But, I could never trust him again.  He went on to be a big cheese in a computer company in South Africa and on one of his visits - we had it out.  At first he denied everything but then I told him I had made a surprise visit to his apartment for what I had hoped would have been a great weekend, and what I had seen.  He got real quiet.  Even as it was, I could never trust him since he was apparently a liar as well. 

Sorry Don you were the worst brother to have ever existed.  Your divorce and abandonment of your children came as no surprise to those whom knew your true lack of character.

After ex-best friend, she moved on to several of my other friends, probably staying with Dutchman the longest.  I was really pissed off at him.  But, one day I went to his church to have it out and this man whom is about 50% bigger than me in all manner of speaking - just jutted out his jaw and said - "Give it your best shot, I have it coming."  And we both knew I could have shattered that jaw.  But, I had come to conciliate - because God was all over my heart on doing so.  We made our peace and have through the years both had to trust the other with the other's life far too many times to mention!

So, yeah, I see the parallels - one of the reasons I figured God had me involved in this latest tale.  Surprisingly, I find that I do not identify with the abandoned husband though.  I truly do believe that although jilted, he certainly had created a home environment under which even a slave would have revolted!  Nor do I identify with the new husband, she will find no peace with him until he finds the God I and she knows.  RB's parents, like my old-were-to-be in-laws, I can now understand their pain because mine sought me out and we made our peace long ago.  They even made a point of meeting my newly adopted family, once I had them back from Russia.  Though even at the time I knew it was causing them pain because they long so for grandchildren.  Whom would have ever thought, 40 years ago, that they too would learn to suffer for their part in SM's annulment of our civil union.  Yes, I forgave them as well, long ago, at their request, in my church at that time.  And, was that ever uncomfortable.

Today, such as when I have a high fever, my worst nightmare continues to be the thought of SM coming back into my life.  Amazing at how the mind works and what one learns to fear.....