Hard Answers

So last night was a night of prayer.  Prayer that God would let me know what I am supposed to do about Gaelic Girl and my situation.  As I have mentioned in the past, I have a problem letting go of friends, apparently to the point of absurdity.  As last night has shown, GG is completely beyond the pale of reality.

Back home she could have been quietly institutionalized and a proper diagnosis performed.  But, not in America, especially not in Washington State where the rights of the mentally ill are apparently greater than those they victimize.  And I have nothing left.

My ability to hold the course and keep her in the family has reached its end, at least as far as I am concerned.  Heavens I might be the one removed from the family if there is sides taking to be performed!  Sigh ...  No idea how all of this is going to play out today.

I had my friends praying last night with me for wisdom - because I need God's wisdom in this.  When I woke up this morning the only thing I really knew was that I had stayed here too long.  I should have left in 2012 or beginning of 2013 at the latest, so much pain and a major heart attack could have been avoided.  And Sugar Ray's song, Someday, would not be echoing through my mind still.

I hate failure. 
I hate losing friends. 
I hate what life has done to GG. 
But I can not hate what has happened inside of me.
To see in colors and to now understand life for the first time.  A blessing I could never share with GG because there was never any love between us.

So, I look ahead to a continued life alone, hey been there for the past five years!
Currently two friends left.
A small army of prayer warriors behind me.
An unknown future ahead.

And I know that God will continue to lead me, where He wants me, just as he has done for most of my life....