Mental Illness

My last company paid for me to attend two years worth of psychological classes.  They brought in the experts that write the college textbooks to train 52 of us in all forms of spotting and understanding a wide spectrum of mental health issues and anti-social behaviors.  With over 250,000 employees, statistically much havoc would be possible in that company! 

In fact my first day on assignment after this I had a project manager come across the table to take a whack at the system administrator for not doing what he wanted!  Too bad he was smaller than me and slower than me, I was sitting next to her.  I fired him on the spot and when his management raised an uproar and called security - i just showed them my get out of jail free card, I represent the President of the company and had nasty manager sent to corporate psychiatry for 6 weeks of classes - :)  he was much nicer when he came back and then retired quietly.  He did not want to work in a company where employees had rights.  Believe it or not!

The classes were a hoot for me because these geniuses could not figure out that I was solidly classified in the realm of abnormal psychiatry my entire life!  But, I did pass all of my classes and materials and then was used to attend - usually virtually - meetings and work sessions for about 104 projects I was responsible for, for the next 16 years.  Boring as watching spit running off of a wall.

So, why mention this?  Because mental illness is something I have been exposed to my entire life - my family is flipping insane, literally!  And no, not in a good way.  Grandma was the lone reason a lithium mine stayed in production!  With her death was the loss of income for about 25 miners...

And for the past five years I have watched, wondered and attempted to research exactly what is wrong with Gaelic Girl.  I went through the internet and researched every form of hormonal imbalance - nothing fit her symptoms.
My text books I re-devoured and she fit no classification for mental illness.
That only left demon possession / oppression ...

But, this area is poorly laid out in the Bible, because, well, it is not the point of a book pointing you to your relationship with God, to go in-depth on the vanquished foe of all Christians.  And what can be found in "Christian" books is basically Roman Catholic superstition being regurgitated as if it is true and trustworthy.  I had reached an end.

Of course, I became terminally ill in 2011, so it really did not matter.  Kris was to die, I would at long last be at peace and her insanity ... ?  Only appears around me.  Yeah, I figured out it was a personal attack.  It was not her, it was evil using her to compromise me.  But, I was dying, so what evil?, you will not overcome me.

Of course as we know I lived because I told God I would do as told and now three years later, the attacks are worse than ever when she is around me.  I heard her come into the bedroom the other night and stumbled on my leg brace.  Yeah, I already knew she would sneak in and I do fear for my life - honest FEAR something I have never had.  The only thing beyond that brace was the house's only loaded gun and me.  I have no wish to die at her hands, I do have something to desire to live for.  And that adrenaline rush lasted most of the day!

Conversely, I have often wondered at what if the last several years of my life were my genes coming into play.  Well no way I could know, but I seem to be found rational by most and the kids like the new me.  So, I am going to go with Kris is sane and GG is still a flipping lunatic!

She has been in therapy now for two years and she only seems to be getting worse.  But, if it only raises it ugly head around me, then I have to assume that her therapist thinks she is sane and I am the problem.  Not much of a guess since her therapist sent me an email with the names of some counselors in my area.  But only one of them is male (not to disparage females, but honestly the one female I do trust is enough!  When that trust runs, that will be the end of the Kris willing to be anything other than cordial ever after! - (Well except you Kelly, I still owe you a tremendous debt...).

Will I call that lone guy on that councilor list?  Probably not.  I have the IRS to still finish paying for 2012.  I have some short term debt to get rid of before I can drop my name from the house title.  And I truly long for my freedom to just live and die under a tree in the deep woods if other options do not work out.

Hmmmmm, maybe I do have a problem after all ...