In Passing, Paula

When I started attending this current church regularly, I instantly made a few solid acquaintances.  Guys were a little sparse because I have NO interest in sports and the men's mid-week study seems to only be attended by those whom were born without cojones.  Unfortunately, I was and I loath sitting around listening to men weeping about how unfair life is.  Really?  Then get your (*&*&^&%^^%#$) out of that chair and do something about it!  Gees, life is not that much of a mystery - if you have some cojones and bother to talk with God regularly .....

Well, that leaves the females of the church.  First off I killed off any attempts by single women to get to know me, because i do not want to know them and amongst the married women there three safe ones.  I have mentioned Elspeth before, she was a good friend, Vonnie was also (a long lost friend from my early NATO childhood! small world!) and last but not least Paula.

Paula, I met because I was surprised to find one of my clients at the church.  Well, here in the Pacific Northwest of America, with the lowest Christian church attendance outside Baghdad, plus we both work in Information Technology - not much chance of ever meeting up with one of my clients!  He was typical old school - quiet, hard to engage, always alone in a room full of friends.  Probably why I liked him - almost exactly like me.

Conversely, Paula was everything her husband was not - outspoken, gregarious, full of life!  But, also with a dark side.  Life had been cruel to the both of them, they married late in life and struggled to help each other with their personal demons.  Paula needed professional help and medication, and yet, even at that .....

Saturday morning, rumor has it, a single shotgun shot to the head and her struggles were over.

Her husband devastated.

"Friends", such as me, to stand with mouths open and unable to grasp what she has done.

Her pastors left more than a little uneasy ...  she never reached out in her final struggle.

Perhaps, as the week wears on, I will learn more as to why this happened.

In the meantime, I contemplate with pride the progress my friend is making.  In such a few short weeks from desiring death, to desiring life.  It has been a hard struggle for them and God always keeping me just in the nick of time with the words to say or the knowledge of what is needed.  Currently we are working on trust, hard to relearn once you have been betrayed in life.  Yet, without it, there can be no actual quality of life.  And, I know they are going to make it just fine .....