Fire And Brimestone

Okay, so you have to understand that my sister being here is the first time I have had to talk with my sister since father's funeral in 2010.  There could have been much to talk about but, no, not on her agenda!  She lit into me like the demon from Hell I remember so well from my youth.....  Why?  Because of Yesfir.

Now, I have told her nothing of Yesfir, Gaelic Girl does not even deal with my sister and my mother knows nothing of Yesfir either.  However, oldest daughter might have been doing some talking with my sister.  In the end, a VERY heated sister offers the repeated advice I have heard so often this summer and fall:

• abandon Yesfir to her own destruction
• move on
• forget her

Like everyone else, "You are a fool Kris."

So, I find that in the "hang in there" court is limited to Dutchman, my mother and my daughter's spirit (which she can not control, as August showed).  In the opposing side, we have everyone else including my church, family and those whom used to be my friends.

Now, Sunday I am having a heart to heart with God as I drive the hour to the antique show.  What am I to do?  "Everyone" says jump ship and common sense says to walk away, and yet, that is man and his logic and his ways.  Man is always opposed to what is of God.  Yet, I am being hammered by everyone, no one believes in my daughter - save for me.  Dutchman believes in me, because he knows me to my core.  Mother is just crazy, so I have to discount whatever way she tends to lean.  Lick finger, stick into the wind.

Well God?

And He reminded me of my confusion when Yesfir was here, how I would say something, and I would instantly in my spirit see myself saying exactly the same thing in another situation, to a very different Yesfir.  It would drive me crazy.  And I now understood, He was showing me the dual nature of this situation.  Now and again later.  It would seem a broken Yesfir will be returned at some point in time.

So, Kris, do you believe what God says, or do you believe man?  Easy, God, always.
Do you believe that God was speaking to you this year?  Yeah.
Then?  I wait, I continue to pray and fight spiritually over what rules her - until she returns.

Now, you have to remember, I have this problem: I am genetically broken, I can turn and walk away and never look back.  Not because I do not care, but because there is no internal attachment which can hold me - other than my own sense of integrity.  Except God gave me an emotion, the one unpredictable thing in my life.  It also drives me crazy.  It holds me, it torments me, it heals me.  It may be the one "proof" that all I have been learning about this, this past weekend.....

So, I continue to pray.