I have been unable to post because I have been so disgusted over Saturday night's blow up by son. I am so sick of this! This time it was because I unplugged the wireless house phone at 10 pm because he was outside screaming at his girlfriend on it. Somehow, his being out of control is my fault and somehow his relationship problems are my fault as well. It just amazes me at how ALL of his defects are my fault! As I told him during our 90 discussion - I didn't break him, he broke himself - now start treating others with respect, grow up and get a life!
And through those 90 minutes I was trying to get him to see himself as other's see him. But, the only message he heard was that he was stupid, irresponsible, lacked maturity, was a failure, etc, etc, etc. None of those words were in my discussion - that was his interruptation of my message. How bent can one person be so that when someone gives you ideas on how to treat others better and be an adult - all you hear is, "I hate you!" ?
I honestly can not get it! Well, in a way I do. I know he hates me and I know his hatred for me comes from his lifelong hatred for himself. He would be so much happier if only I was just like his biological father and beat him regularly. Which is exactly why I have never and will never strike him - except in self defense - which luckily our relationship has not disintegrated to, yet.
Through all of these years, the message he should have been hearing is - "I love you....."
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