I was challenged by one of my readers last year to do a humorous pseudo-interview of myself. I am sure they have forgotten, until this very moment, and I hope my wit holds out as I do this interview now cold and in one take! Not sure if I am going to be a smart ass or serious, maybe a combination? But, what ever it is - it will be a one shot off the cuff, natural Kris! So, here goes:
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
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| July in Arizona making crab legs! |
Freedom to just be me, time to relearn what humanity is, absence of all of my constraints.
To know I served my God well.
What is your greatest fear?
Spiders, I hate spiders, I will scream like a three year old girl and "jump" on top of a table if you do not save me!
Which historical figure do you most resemble?
Samuel Richardson, most famous as a Captain in the Texas Volunteer Cavalry, Confederate States of America. A man whom although having no stake in the situation in America, at the time returned to the land of his birth, served his men and country with distinction then quietly disappeared from public history.
His death in a Union prisoner of war camp was greatly exaggerated. He went on to live his life, traveled to Oregon, at some point crossing the er, tarnished path of my great-aunt, his stories via her, becoming a part of my own knowledge and character.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Any thing that others can do better than me!
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Anything they can do better than me!
When and where were you the happiest?
Since most of my life was lived without any such emotion, here are some highlights:
The quiet and solitude of closing down a ski area at -80 degrees.
Summiting Longs Peak at -20, in 60 mph winds. Cold granite, cold steel, total conquest.
My first car, a 1969 Fiat 124 Spyder body on an Alfa Romero drive train.
Taking an impossible shot and succeeding!
Adopting each one of my children, in court or before God.
When each of my children were able to say "I love you", often not even in words.
The rarity of having a boss say "Well done."
When one of "My Kids", gets it, and suddenly understands.
At the honesty of a moment with no walls, only truth and total commitment.
Knowing I have someone watching my back.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
abecedarian, calamanco, morioplasty, worsification and of course, zum!
But, I am trying to cut back on each and everyone of these daily words across this next year! (yes, those are all real words!)
Which living person do you most despise?
There is no one less qualified to continue living than Ratko Mladić, the murderer of my cousin Bernard, whom was a medic in Bosnia. Sorry no mercy for a coward whom whom would kill a medic, no mercy for each of the NATO troops whom would withdraw to allow the slaughter of 1,100 women, children, old people and seven NATO medics performing surgery at the time! No mercy for Ratko from me, but as a Hutterite and a Christian I am required to let him know about God's forgiveness for what he has done - but if he accepts before his well earned execution, do not expect me to even look his way once in Heaven ... It shames me that I am counted in his number, as no better before my God.
If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what would it be?
A fortune telling machine, where I can give out the real fortunes to the user of the machine. Usually, the message would read something like: "You are soooooo stupid!".
What do you see as your greatest achievement?
Problem is, all of my greatest achievements have been surpassed by others, now hollow victories no one cares to remember today - I am just a historical relic. Better technologies, more money, better sponsors, etc. But, back in the day ...
So, I can then only say that God used me, often in odd ways, to reach His own ... even to others utter amazement. And it is the Church's condemnation of me that I hold closest to my heart as proof of having done what was right in God's eyes, not what was politically correct in man's. I did as I was told.
What is the lowest depth of misery for you?
Listening to the ten thousandth person at an antique show telling me all about how their grandparents had boxes full of "these", usually my neanderthal tool collection on display, and how they used to sell them for only a penny a piece. I was just unaware that neanderthals lived in North America, or perhaps it is just one of their family problems ...
What is your most marked characteristic?
My ability to entertain. Mind you, the last thing on Earth I want to do but it is the wall I hide behind. And everyone thinks I am hilarious by nature, no - just a really really really insecure clown.
The real me? To think through all of the fluff in life which blinds us and to ferret out what the real causes for problems are. To desire to help my friends overcome their causes ... Yeah, then that brings up some other problems too.
What do you most value in your friends?
My friends are my family - no hidden warts, everything out in the open - a no holds barred free for all! And we still respect and love each other.
Who are your heroes in real life?
People, not so unlike Theodore Roosevelt. Those willing to just stand up and do something to take on the status quo of the day, to set right wrongs in this world. Of course, as history has shown, the bureaucrats will always destroy what was accomplished for good, in the end. But, even small gains are better than being ground down without a fight!
How would you like to die?
Peacefully in my sleep, but then I did that one once - there is no such thing!
Kicking, screaming and in a sea of spent brass - but I vowed to God I would never take human life.
Someone unplugging the machine while I am drooling on myself and wondering if I still have toes - that would be okay.
Just nothing as meaningless as being backed over by a bread truck, please!
What is your motto?
Determination and Persistence will always trump Education and Skill.
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