Unexpected Blessing

Back in August, I commented that I wondered if I had just been blessed or not.  I suspected I had been, but because I question all things, I was not sure and yet it seemed that I had, but I could not understand.  In my world, there  are NO coincidences in life if you are walking your path in obedience to God.  And so with the loss of my daughter in my life and the ensuing mess, only to be immediately followed by Niece joining my physical family - was just too weird timing wise, what did this mean?  I thought maybe she was there to help reduce stress - but that did not happen.  I thought maybe she was the one to get me to ER for the next big one - that never came.  It was all so very confusing, nothing seemed to fit.

And as Friday night was to show, I was indeed blessed in a very great way by God - but as with all humans, when we are not forthcoming, then somethings are not then known and confusion follows.

So, Niece opened up Friday night and showed me what I had known all along but was confused at why she was not forthcoming, it was so obvious to me, it was so frustrating not knowing if I was wrong or not about her!  And given what the year was like, I was not going to put my foot in my mouth!  So, I assumed the worst - Kris was horribly misled, but I could not tell how!

And so I questioned myself for months, I was in fear that I had misled myself and if I was wrong about Niece, was I wrong about Yesfir?  It tore at me to my core, but I could not see where or what I had done wrong with Yesfir, yet there must have been something, Niece was proof that I could be wrong!

And then Friday night came, truth and openness for the first time flowed.  The walls came down.  I was not wrong about Niece it seems, then with relief I realized that it had been all in truth this year.  And peace flowed over me, the weight of my heart was released, and I slept like a rock for one of the very few times this year. Thank you God for peace.....

I do not know if a weight was lifted from Niece or not Friday night, perhaps she was now traumatized enough by being known that she was unable to sleep.  I hope not, I hope it gave her peace as well.  And in our brief interactions since, she has been quiet and reserved but her walls have remained down.  A victory for her.

And so, with a new openness, with a new understanding, we now step forward to show her what she needs to know.  A discipleship to show her the God I know, one not catering to our whims, one where we can walk victorious (as long as we do not get cocky!).

To make the weekend even more special - after one major and 156 minor heart attacks, Saturday became the very first day in which there was no heart incident what-so-ever!  PTL!!!!! As was Sunday, as well.  Two pain free days, healing and blessing because now I am back at what I was supposed to be doing for four months!

What an unexpected end to one of the most bizaare and horrible years of my life.....