Maximus - Minimus

I was telling Niece about this and since she thought it funny, okay, I will go ahead and post something.  So, I am at the space party with a boatload of Texans and .....

Now I was sitting, munching on snack foods and facing a hallway about 100 yards long.  About 50 yards from me is a convex reflective window surface.  The angle is such that I can watch people walking both ways down the hall - starting off small and growing much bigger as they approach the apogee of the curved glass.

So, it got really humorous as a lady in a white one piece knit dress was coming down the hall and then stopped right at the apogee and turned to talk to whomever was in the hall running at 90 degrees.  So as she swung from right to left, stepped constantly forward and backward - I was to find myself totally amused by her butt growing or shrinking proportionally to the angle of the glass curve.  OMG!  It was so hysterical!  Outside of a bunch of little kids playing next to me, no one was at the correct angle to see what I was.  And this went on for almost 15 minutes.  Hysterical!

Apparently, a shade of Prussian Blue is the "in" color, as there were numerous young women dressed in this.  So many that I at first thought they were with the catering company, then maybe sisters, but no ...... it seems.  So one is wearing a slimline (aka pen line to you young folks) mini dress.  As it was, it barely made it past her gluteus maximus, cough, cough.  I wanted so badly to have a talk with her: "If you would take a tape measure and run it from the top of your gluteus maximus, over the top and down to the hem of your dress, then subtract from this figure - between one third and one half, this would give you the amount of the gluteus maximus exposed as you are going up and down the stairs constantly...."  Yeah, well at least she was wearing underwear beneath her fishnets, so is that then modesty?

On the minimus side of things we had a really clueless Texan.  She of course was wearing black cowboy boots, a pair of lederhosen and a drindl shirt.  So, very much of Austrian, German, Swiss, northern Italian heritage, via Texas of course.  But, she lacked the gluteus maximus to fill out the leather shorts and her legs so thin they rattled within the openings for the legs!  Of course, she had to be running up and down the stairs as well.  Unlike the blue pencil line, she did not share in that woman's brief concept of modesty.....

And then there were the heels to be observed at the party.  One Asian young lady was wearing a six inch pair of spikes!  And she was short even in them next to the guy she was with, whom might have been 5'10"!  I am guessing without heels she was about 18" shorter than him!  And somehow she could walk and keep up with him.....

But, there were lots of spikes there, four inches being about the average and no one came crashing down that  I was to see.  Amazing.  I only wore spikes once for a Halloween party and I thought I was going to die.  It was rather funny as there were these triplets at the party whom were about 6'1" and they came in 3" heels, which would have put then on eye level with me - but I was in 3" as well so still towered over them.  We had a great laugh over that one!

So having shared this bit of humor, I will now go mail Christmas packages.......

HO-HO-HO!