Days of Sadness

I post this as only one reader, other than whom this is about, knows of whom I write.  But I am in sorrow for a real reason.  God had a long talk with me across the last two days.  A talk I would rather not have had to hear, shown what I do not want to see.

He is apparently set, to set adrift one I love, based on the hardness of their unrepentant heart, to discover why His path is better than the world's path.  Can you spell Death Sentence?

I am devastated.

But, I will continue my prayers for as long as I have breath.  It is all I can do - to wage war against abomination.  I have seen this path, I know this path, and I already know the pieces on the other side - but will it be a contrite heart on the other side?  That answer could tell me a great more about what to expect.

And now I am unsure as to my own future.  I came into this year a dying man, will I now leave it the same way, having now failed as an assigned father?  I would willfully prefer to offer myself in death than have a child of mine walk a path that was never meant to be.  Or was I just the last hope at freedom for them?  And now, will life revert to where it was interrupted by God and me a year ago?

(included here is every thought, every dream, the very essence of a father - which now may never be again....)

Yes, a sociopath can and does shed real tears.  Emotions are not needed when one is to see carnage recreated, yet again.  Were but I man ..... but then i would not be doing my fighting on me knees.