Travails of the Heart

Such a hard morning.  I sent daughter off on a visit with her mother.

It tore at my heart to see her go through airport security and know that it will be a month until I see her again.  But, I also know that she needs time with her mother, I knew that a month ago when I suggested she go.  Even at the distance which separated us, I could see her walls were up, she was hurting.  So unfair that she, whom has done nothing, should continue to be further harmed.

I would not be a father worthy of the name, if I had not suggested she not return.  This environment of hatred we both have been forced to confront daily has been unacceptable.  It has also made us stronger, to identify as family with each other, to stand in unison against my family.

It breaks my heart that my family has so hardened their hearts against her.  Two of my daughters should have been supportive, they both were broken, they should have understood and wanted to aid in her healing.....

And though my mind would have her not return, my heart knows her place is with me for at least now.  And her heart knows this as well.  So, she will return.  But, I wonder at her resolve to do so.

For me, I am at the end of my patience with my family.  Personally, I would confront the lot of them and take them on now that daughter is gone.  Come what may, they have as a lot lost my good grace.  With father's day this Sunday, this maybe a convenient time to address their treatment of me and her.  Yeah, that ought to really piss more than a few people off!  But, yes, I will pray about this first though.

But, I think it is time to plan for a future without my family.  If hatreds towards me, a lack of Christian compassion towards the injured and a hardness of heart - I do not understand - are to be the future of this family, then yeah.....  I raised the lot of them to know far better than to behave in this manner.  So, I maybe be confronting a God created situation ..... and if so, then I really do not understand the implications here.

Once back home, I got a hold her mother and told her to be gentle.  Yesfir is exhausted, nervous, drained and to an extent afraid with reason - the present is weird beyond belief, the future uncertain.  Please keep her in your prayers.