Since I am semi-retired, I have a great deal of time on my hands. Three days a week I watch grandchildren for my two with kids, two days a week I am flat on my lips recovering from the grandchildren the day before, as an average - one day a week I get to see a friend, one day a week I volunteer to help older people (think elderly, hospital, doctors, etc), and the final day I use doing projects at home - and am I ever so far behind the curve on that one - even my projects have projects!
So, two weeks ago I am driving an elderly couple to see their doctor in Seattle. Both in their late eighties and both are a real hoot to be around! I love their stories from the "good old days" and I think they like having someone to talk with. The woman turns to me, hitting me on the arm in her adorable way and says, "I heard someone named Marsha in your church has cancer. Do you know her?"
My mind had to race there. I really only know maybe a dozen women by sight at the church and none of them personally. The married ones stay away, whom I would feel safe around, and the others have no use for at all for tall, dark and European. Even the barracuda whom I have mentioned in the past stays away - I am just too different (?) - unless her bicycle breaks down and then I get a sobbing phone call. And the same really goes for the guys as well, Kris is just too odd. I guess...
But, I could think of two Marsha's in the church, one of them the cleaning lady, whom also runs the children's church area. But, although I may say hi to that Marsha, I really do not know much about her, much less the other one I have never said hi to. And I see the cleaning lady often at church, so I know it is not her.
Having no clue on this subject and hearing no rumors floating, I just wrote off the question - there probably is an answer, it just will not be ever known by me! And if it is the unknown Marsha, well mute point, I do not actually know her.
Saturday was bazaar day here in the south-end of Seattle. School gyms, lunchrooms, Masonic Halls, community centers all hosting craft bazaars. I do enjoy going and seeing what other artists are doing and in hopes of encouraging me to get out of the artist funk I am in - year three.
At one of the schools, I came across cleaning woman Marsha, with part of her family, we said hi and I moved on - just normal. I accept non-existence well, she is Norwegian and vocal concerning Germans and besides her husband is a manual laborer and I think I am not liked by him because I think too much rather than grab a hammer and pound on something! He is really good at pounding on things.
I had walked about ten feet when some of the women on the opposite side of the table were commenting at how horrible it was that Marsha has colon cancer and it is not going well. Well, that stopped me in my tracks.
For me to say hi to you, is to not be polite, it is to acknowledge you. The lack of any conversation is at best normal for me. I can write volumes and say barely two words. I was stunned that no one would tell anyone in our church about this! That none of her kids would say anything. That this church where deceitful gossip and outright lies have no problem circulating can not even acknowledge that one of our own is dying.
Really?!?!?!?!?
It just sickens me. Today is a Seahawks (football) game day, horrible attendance because everyone is positioning themselves in front of their TV and no one could even think to hold a prayer session for this woman?
Her son asked me one time whom the greatest Christian was in the church. I told him that it was his mother. He was stunned. I reminded him that even if she got paid to clean the church twice a week - it was still a testimony just to be willing to do it! I would probably opt for using a flame thrower on the girls toilet!
Yeah, I think highly of her because she took the lowest of positions - does an outstanding job at that, to support the activities and direction of the Church. And, I think she has done this for years! And nobody helps her ever - other than her daughter on occasion. That is the heart of service, that is the calling for each and everyone of us, to do the unlovely, to do the lowly, in quiet and without pretense or recognition.
Oh yeah, she will be rewarded in Heaven for her servitude while the millions whom have clamored for status, position and wealth in this sick generation will be lucky to reach Heaven with their backsides on fire! So, you want to be a servant of God? Think of the multitudes of Marsha's out there, unknown, unappreciated, unacknowled.
Take a moment this week and figure out a neat way to say thank you to the real Christian leader/witness/worker in your church; and remember that "imitation is the sincerest form of compliment" (charles caleb colton) ...
Monday, December 9, 2013
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Musical Saturday Morning
Missing old acquaintances this morning. Watched some videos from my cousin (if she divorces my real cousin, is she still my cousin, I hate family intrigue politics!) and almost posted another one by her this morning because I am in a wild Scottish rocker mood. But, then got to thinking about Hans Hölzel - it has been 15 years since his death and yeah I miss him too.
Hans was one of those eaten alive by stardom and certainly not what he ever wanted. One of only four Austrians to actually make it to international attention, the only Austrian rocker of note, the only German speaker to score a number one on the American Billboard - He was talented. And in spite of all you might read about him and his problems, he did love his wife.
But, with fame came chemical dependencies and situations not conducive for family nor children. He lost both, even to the point of in the heat of the hatred surrounding his divorce - his wife told him his daughter was not actually his, and his life spiraled out of control. A story not unique to him at all. I can still remember him climbing on stage and beating the (tar) out of a bass player at an open air concert, because the guy could not play to Hans' liking. He then took the guitar and made a complete ass of himself - too far gone to play. I felt so sorry for him. I could understand how he fell so low ... he had lost all he knew and all he loved. There was nothing left for him as a Germanic male. We are fragile it seems.
But, in earlier times, when he was at his height of both creativity and popularity, Amedeus was released in 1985. I howled with laughter when I saw what he had done. Well done Hans.
But, his fall was already in progress.
Make no mistake, Hans did figure it all out, somehow got his life clean and himself back together. He was working on a new album, building a new house in the Dominican Republic and staging a comeback. I remember he had said that his greatest love was his daughter, and when he started the house project, my wanting to ask him how moving half way around the world was going to allow him to stay in her life. I did not have the guts back then to say it. And at his death in 1998, while on a trip to see how the house was coming along, all he had went to his daughter (as I remember) but she was too young to understand. I remember thinking how it was sort of a trick of the fates - his ex was probably going to be the first person to stay in his house.
Like so many, he got famous, he lost it all, he got cleaned up, got his life together and BLAM!, he was gone. It happens far too often to be a coincidence. It is like God gives one really hard shove, so a person can get it together because He knows time is short. Whether being hit by a car in Vienna, backed over by a bread truck in Seattle or flattened by an out of control bus in the Dominican Republic - when it is time, it is time - to the split second. At least, that is my belief.
I am glad he got a piece of his life together - for his daughter's sake if nothing else. Maybe it is just a Germanic thing, but I think it is important how you are remembered. For Hans, I knew him going up and then flat on his face. I was excited for him to attempt his comeback, cleaned up, sober, pulling all of the pieces of his life back together. I only wish 30 years ago I had been brave enough to have witnessed about the only real answer in this life.
Hans was one of those eaten alive by stardom and certainly not what he ever wanted. One of only four Austrians to actually make it to international attention, the only Austrian rocker of note, the only German speaker to score a number one on the American Billboard - He was talented. And in spite of all you might read about him and his problems, he did love his wife.
But, with fame came chemical dependencies and situations not conducive for family nor children. He lost both, even to the point of in the heat of the hatred surrounding his divorce - his wife told him his daughter was not actually his, and his life spiraled out of control. A story not unique to him at all. I can still remember him climbing on stage and beating the (tar) out of a bass player at an open air concert, because the guy could not play to Hans' liking. He then took the guitar and made a complete ass of himself - too far gone to play. I felt so sorry for him. I could understand how he fell so low ... he had lost all he knew and all he loved. There was nothing left for him as a Germanic male. We are fragile it seems.
But, in earlier times, when he was at his height of both creativity and popularity, Amedeus was released in 1985. I howled with laughter when I saw what he had done. Well done Hans.
But, his fall was already in progress.
Make no mistake, Hans did figure it all out, somehow got his life clean and himself back together. He was working on a new album, building a new house in the Dominican Republic and staging a comeback. I remember he had said that his greatest love was his daughter, and when he started the house project, my wanting to ask him how moving half way around the world was going to allow him to stay in her life. I did not have the guts back then to say it. And at his death in 1998, while on a trip to see how the house was coming along, all he had went to his daughter (as I remember) but she was too young to understand. I remember thinking how it was sort of a trick of the fates - his ex was probably going to be the first person to stay in his house.
Like so many, he got famous, he lost it all, he got cleaned up, got his life together and BLAM!, he was gone. It happens far too often to be a coincidence. It is like God gives one really hard shove, so a person can get it together because He knows time is short. Whether being hit by a car in Vienna, backed over by a bread truck in Seattle or flattened by an out of control bus in the Dominican Republic - when it is time, it is time - to the split second. At least, that is my belief.
I am glad he got a piece of his life together - for his daughter's sake if nothing else. Maybe it is just a Germanic thing, but I think it is important how you are remembered. For Hans, I knew him going up and then flat on his face. I was excited for him to attempt his comeback, cleaned up, sober, pulling all of the pieces of his life back together. I only wish 30 years ago I had been brave enough to have witnessed about the only real answer in this life.
Friday, December 6, 2013
Poor Dutchman
Poor Dutchman is beside himself. His youngest son has decided to marry and announced to the world yesterday his choice. Yeah, another train wreck for his life, as if he has not been beset by enough as it is.
I have never commented much about the details concerning this son because, well, mainly I refuse to allow my mind to sink to such levels. Let us just say that he has been very troubled for the past nine years. Both Dutchman and I had sort of fantasized that the youngest son would be interested in and eventually marry my oldest. Silly parents! Before he was out of high school, Dutchman came to me and told me that he would not allow his son to even attempt to go on another date with my daughter. Apparently, he found out how sick his son really was before either I or my daughter did!
And as the years ticked by, that young man was making grosser and grosser mistakes in life. There are levels of sickness we are talking here so black that the mind has a hard time wrapping itself around the concept of how could someone be that ... broken. And most of that started when Dutchman was away working in Denmark on a project, which then injured him severely and he was then out of it for a few years recovering. At least the legalities of what son did, the father was able to finance a way around - with the added cost of expensive attorneys.
It is like Satan staged the perfect attack: father gets sent out on a job for two years, son is lured into sickness, father is injured and loses another two years recovering, son falls further into depravity, father is hurting financially and can not even send son to therapy (actually I am not even sure we knew such a thing existed at the time!), son's mis-behaviors begin to cause problems in his life and spiral him into unemployment and substance abuse, he refuses to talk with his father or even me any longer! Then he starts to get his head together but by now is living the pagan lifestyle and likes it. Along comes someone he should never have even met - and now scheduled wedding bells.
I can hope that he will have a great marriage or family or a bright future, but I fear he has willing tried an anchor to his leg and the next time he does a nose dive - well, nothing will raise him from those depths. And living as a non-Christian, marrying a non-Christian - a secular marriage, he only has a 40% chance of not ending in divorce in the first five years. Even if he turned himself around and she became a Christian, today's percents are almost as dismal.
She is from South Dakota, so I expect she will be off for there dragging Dutchman's son along behind her, at least until she tires of him. Twenty-two, four husbands, yeah it is hard to be positive and hope for much other than she is going for another income check.
And, just as easily, this could be my son in a few years ... sigh ...
So for those young men, whom are my readers, consider your choices and actions well. This young man did not wake up one morning at his Christian school and say, "Gosh, wouldn't it be nice to be addicted to virtually everything and then marry someone because she appeals to my increasing problems?"
No, step by step, choice by choice, you drive a wedge between you and God, sure God can forgive almost everything - but you will wake up one morning and no longer care there even is a God because you crave your next addiction or feel so sorry for what you did and know God never could forgive you - so why try any more?
It is all lies from Satan. He only has one purpose - to discount your testimony before your friends so they will know you only believe in a lie. And when he can get you to that point, you are lost, as are all of your friends whom are now following your example.
So, look at your life and consider what it ought to be. Repent. Get back into the Word. Get back into prayer. Get back into fellowship.
And most importantly - learn to forgive and let go of what drove you away from God in the first place.
I have never commented much about the details concerning this son because, well, mainly I refuse to allow my mind to sink to such levels. Let us just say that he has been very troubled for the past nine years. Both Dutchman and I had sort of fantasized that the youngest son would be interested in and eventually marry my oldest. Silly parents! Before he was out of high school, Dutchman came to me and told me that he would not allow his son to even attempt to go on another date with my daughter. Apparently, he found out how sick his son really was before either I or my daughter did!
And as the years ticked by, that young man was making grosser and grosser mistakes in life. There are levels of sickness we are talking here so black that the mind has a hard time wrapping itself around the concept of how could someone be that ... broken. And most of that started when Dutchman was away working in Denmark on a project, which then injured him severely and he was then out of it for a few years recovering. At least the legalities of what son did, the father was able to finance a way around - with the added cost of expensive attorneys.
It is like Satan staged the perfect attack: father gets sent out on a job for two years, son is lured into sickness, father is injured and loses another two years recovering, son falls further into depravity, father is hurting financially and can not even send son to therapy (actually I am not even sure we knew such a thing existed at the time!), son's mis-behaviors begin to cause problems in his life and spiral him into unemployment and substance abuse, he refuses to talk with his father or even me any longer! Then he starts to get his head together but by now is living the pagan lifestyle and likes it. Along comes someone he should never have even met - and now scheduled wedding bells.
I can hope that he will have a great marriage or family or a bright future, but I fear he has willing tried an anchor to his leg and the next time he does a nose dive - well, nothing will raise him from those depths. And living as a non-Christian, marrying a non-Christian - a secular marriage, he only has a 40% chance of not ending in divorce in the first five years. Even if he turned himself around and she became a Christian, today's percents are almost as dismal.
She is from South Dakota, so I expect she will be off for there dragging Dutchman's son along behind her, at least until she tires of him. Twenty-two, four husbands, yeah it is hard to be positive and hope for much other than she is going for another income check.
And, just as easily, this could be my son in a few years ... sigh ...
So for those young men, whom are my readers, consider your choices and actions well. This young man did not wake up one morning at his Christian school and say, "Gosh, wouldn't it be nice to be addicted to virtually everything and then marry someone because she appeals to my increasing problems?"
No, step by step, choice by choice, you drive a wedge between you and God, sure God can forgive almost everything - but you will wake up one morning and no longer care there even is a God because you crave your next addiction or feel so sorry for what you did and know God never could forgive you - so why try any more?
It is all lies from Satan. He only has one purpose - to discount your testimony before your friends so they will know you only believe in a lie. And when he can get you to that point, you are lost, as are all of your friends whom are now following your example.
So, look at your life and consider what it ought to be. Repent. Get back into the Word. Get back into prayer. Get back into fellowship.
And most importantly - learn to forgive and let go of what drove you away from God in the first place.
Thursday, December 5, 2013
The Cold
We are experiencing a bit of a cold snap, the coldest weather in several years, for this time of year. Usually we do not get treated to 27 degree (-3C) weather until February!
So, for the next week the high is predicted to be 33 degrees and the lowest low of about 21 at this point.
We even had snow here at my house yesterday! it was not much, just enough to cover my bbq on the back deck.
My sister whom insists on living in Minneapolis and then complains about the weather constantly (it is too hot, it is too cold, it is too humid, help I am buried in the in the snow - send sled dogs!) decided to put up a festive trellis in front of her house for Christmas. Apparently it took a sledgehammer for her to drive the trellis into the ground, it was so frozen solid. I was at the doctors when she texted me that one - he was laughing with me and asked why she did not use a portable drill. Smart doctor, eh?
I was laughing at that one, so the doctor explained that two years ago his daughter decided on an outdoor winter wedding and that was how he got stands holding the flower pots into the ground. I looked at him .... He clicked his tongue, "Yeah, well, never could say no to that one ... " Then we both laughed. Youngest daughters probably are special, well I think each of mine are special - at least to me. But, if my youngest wants an outdoor winter wedding, it had better be in Hawaii or similar!
Yeah, I just can not take the cold now. I used to relish cold. The lower the temperatures fell, the happier I was. I have photos of me in Alaska a few years back, -30 F with my shirt sleeves rolled up! Yeah, everywhere I went people were dressed in their snow bunny suits and heavy down parkas, and there was I with no coat, no long johns and just happy. They thought I was insane, but just as I commented in Russia more than once on this subject during my winter trips there (-40 F in Siberia!), maybe you need to move where it is warmer if you have no tolerance for the cold! But, this winter the cold is affecting me.
I do not know if it is the heart drugs doing this to me but the cold just seems to eat through to my old bone breaks and scar tissue. I just ache all over! Were it not for the kids being here I would consider moving to Tucson or further south into Mexico! Conversely, I was so hot during the summer that I was dying during August and the 75 degree weather! I was sitting in front of a 30 inch fan, set in front of a portable air conditioner, stripped down, wind blowing on me at high and drinking water like there was no tomorrow. Everyone else was covering themselves in blankets if they were in the same room with me!
Well time to go throw more bread in the toaster and stand as close as I can get ...
So, for the next week the high is predicted to be 33 degrees and the lowest low of about 21 at this point.
We even had snow here at my house yesterday! it was not much, just enough to cover my bbq on the back deck.
My sister whom insists on living in Minneapolis and then complains about the weather constantly (it is too hot, it is too cold, it is too humid, help I am buried in the in the snow - send sled dogs!) decided to put up a festive trellis in front of her house for Christmas. Apparently it took a sledgehammer for her to drive the trellis into the ground, it was so frozen solid. I was at the doctors when she texted me that one - he was laughing with me and asked why she did not use a portable drill. Smart doctor, eh?
I was laughing at that one, so the doctor explained that two years ago his daughter decided on an outdoor winter wedding and that was how he got stands holding the flower pots into the ground. I looked at him .... He clicked his tongue, "Yeah, well, never could say no to that one ... " Then we both laughed. Youngest daughters probably are special, well I think each of mine are special - at least to me. But, if my youngest wants an outdoor winter wedding, it had better be in Hawaii or similar!
Yeah, I just can not take the cold now. I used to relish cold. The lower the temperatures fell, the happier I was. I have photos of me in Alaska a few years back, -30 F with my shirt sleeves rolled up! Yeah, everywhere I went people were dressed in their snow bunny suits and heavy down parkas, and there was I with no coat, no long johns and just happy. They thought I was insane, but just as I commented in Russia more than once on this subject during my winter trips there (-40 F in Siberia!), maybe you need to move where it is warmer if you have no tolerance for the cold! But, this winter the cold is affecting me.
I do not know if it is the heart drugs doing this to me but the cold just seems to eat through to my old bone breaks and scar tissue. I just ache all over! Were it not for the kids being here I would consider moving to Tucson or further south into Mexico! Conversely, I was so hot during the summer that I was dying during August and the 75 degree weather! I was sitting in front of a 30 inch fan, set in front of a portable air conditioner, stripped down, wind blowing on me at high and drinking water like there was no tomorrow. Everyone else was covering themselves in blankets if they were in the same room with me!
Well time to go throw more bread in the toaster and stand as close as I can get ...
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Causing Yourself Frustration
You know, no one can out Kris, Kris when it comes to utter stupidity. Sigh...
As you might remember, I have been working on a book I had hoped to have been completed with by now however life got in the way and I lost about half of this year. I am using a nom de plume because of the subject matter and so with my memory have to have everything written down somewhere.
But, if you leave your notebook on top of your car, when you drive away - and even if you notice it is missing only a short time later - good luck ever finding it!
So, I fretted for my royalty account information was in there, and I have to leave shortly to be sure no one can access that! My membership cards to museums as well. And my disabled parking pass. Sigh.
Much running around to do today to get all of this beginning to straightened out.
****
It is with interest I find the situation that yesterday morning, some papers fell out of my notebook as i was getting ready to go. One of them was a poem, nothing special but important to me. So, I typed it up on my super secret poem site and tossed the paperwork.
How was I to know that only hours later that book would have been lost and had that poem not fallen out, it would have been lost for all time! It must have been a God thing, He saved that poem for me and knew it would have otherwise been lost. I guess it does have meaning after all, else why bother saving it for me?
So, just my Yahoo account took 90 minutes and I never was able to recover it! So, I hurriedly blocked my facebook account from being taken and then created a new email address, linked the facebook to it, then unliked the old yahoo id and email. Perhaps I at least saved my FB account.
The rest of the day was dedicated to stopping any attempts to change my mailing address or non-photo id access to my bank accounts or royalties account. Such a mess I have made for myself!
Wednesday is dedicated to my membership and usage cards: concealed weapons permit, disabled bus pass, disabled parking id and my Seattle Art Museum membership.
Alas, my many gift certificates, discounts and other such are now lost since they are not tracked by name.
Oh grrrrrr! To quote number two daughter.
As you might remember, I have been working on a book I had hoped to have been completed with by now however life got in the way and I lost about half of this year. I am using a nom de plume because of the subject matter and so with my memory have to have everything written down somewhere.
But, if you leave your notebook on top of your car, when you drive away - and even if you notice it is missing only a short time later - good luck ever finding it!
So, I fretted for my royalty account information was in there, and I have to leave shortly to be sure no one can access that! My membership cards to museums as well. And my disabled parking pass. Sigh.
Much running around to do today to get all of this beginning to straightened out.
****
It is with interest I find the situation that yesterday morning, some papers fell out of my notebook as i was getting ready to go. One of them was a poem, nothing special but important to me. So, I typed it up on my super secret poem site and tossed the paperwork.
How was I to know that only hours later that book would have been lost and had that poem not fallen out, it would have been lost for all time! It must have been a God thing, He saved that poem for me and knew it would have otherwise been lost. I guess it does have meaning after all, else why bother saving it for me?
So, just my Yahoo account took 90 minutes and I never was able to recover it! So, I hurriedly blocked my facebook account from being taken and then created a new email address, linked the facebook to it, then unliked the old yahoo id and email. Perhaps I at least saved my FB account.
The rest of the day was dedicated to stopping any attempts to change my mailing address or non-photo id access to my bank accounts or royalties account. Such a mess I have made for myself!
Wednesday is dedicated to my membership and usage cards: concealed weapons permit, disabled bus pass, disabled parking id and my Seattle Art Museum membership.
Alas, my many gift certificates, discounts and other such are now lost since they are not tracked by name.
Oh grrrrrr! To quote number two daughter.
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Kimberly Ann
So there I was standing, staring blankly into the sunrise, I need caffeine, I was stunned I was upright. Suddenly, a form leaps in front of me! and throws its arms around me, burying its nose in my right armpit! What is it with my armpits and why are they always on nose level of the females I know?!?!?!?
I pushed the female form back so I could see whom it was. Surprisingly, it was Kimberly Ann aka African Missionary Girl of years ago! I was oh so happy to see her!
She had come out here to see her brother and sister-in-law for Thanksgiving, and as fate would have it, me as well! It was so joyful to see her and talk and share. There was still so much more to talk about when she had to go but I thanked God for moments we did have.
I spotted her husband a few times but he never approached, so I just hung back.
So, a pleasant start to an interesting Sunday.
After church is was off to the local Mexican restaurant, where she is demonstrating that the best fried ice cream is to be found here.
She had come out here to see her brother and sister-in-law for Thanksgiving, and as fate would have it, me as well! It was so joyful to see her and talk and share. There was still so much more to talk about when she had to go but I thanked God for moments we did have.
I spotted her husband a few times but he never approached, so I just hung back.
So, a pleasant start to an interesting Sunday.
After church is was off to the local Mexican restaurant, where she is demonstrating that the best fried ice cream is to be found here.
Monday, December 2, 2013
Nature of Friendship
Having lost most of my friends last year and most of my acquaintances as well, because I was willing to risk all to do what God told me - and would do so again - I have contemplated the nature of friendship this year.
In years past, friend or no friend, all was meaningless to me - but God had to change me from what I knew to this unknown I slosh through. But, it had to all happen at once, my nature to be changed, my friends to desert me - the timing perfect. And yet ...
God knew and God provided - a friend, a teacher, an equal. When I sat stunned and betrayed, part of me was still trying to work through the mystery of this. Do not ask me, God's ways and timing are not my own. I still marvel and wonder where ultimately all will be found ...
He gave me what He knew I would need and it caused me pause to contemplate much about life, being a human being, about me and about God. In there is the concept of friendship in all of its manifestations.
Proverbs 17:17 - a friend hurts when your hurt.
It takes God's LOVE at all times to be able to be a friend when times are hard. Hard times show you whom your true friends really are. And I contemplated that as i saw a slow parade through my room in ER's CCU during the wait for surgery and then the recovery. Those whom were not my friends evaporated and were not to be found. And yet, I know, because I do know, though some think themselves enemies of me, they will figure it out and return to find my friendship will not have changed.
Consider Job 6:14, a friend should be there for you - even if you decide to abandon God! That is commitment and love being spelled out.
Proverbs 27:6 -A real friend will say what needs to be said, even when it hurts you. They will confront you with the truth. Everybody needs a real friend - flesh and blood - someone whom will have faith in you, even when we have lost faith in ourselves.
Proverbs 22:24 - avoid the angry man, his ways will rub off on you!
A real friend will bring out the best in you. They will encourage you, they will stand, when others fall away.
Whom you choose as friends is extremely important, pick the wrong ones and you will become like them and waste years until you wake up and realize how you have been played.
Pick the correct ones and you will be encouraged into becoming the best that you can be - and perhaps - even more!
So across this past weekend, a time of reflection and thanksgiving, I am saddened that those whom I counted as friends for decades - were not. I rejoice for those whom have been so during that same time period and as I have been tried by fire, stood there with me, and suffered as well, then encouraged me to be what I could still be. Then I rejoice for the new friend, I never could have foreseen, never could have understood and can only marvel at God and wonder, "What is He still up to?"
In years past, friend or no friend, all was meaningless to me - but God had to change me from what I knew to this unknown I slosh through. But, it had to all happen at once, my nature to be changed, my friends to desert me - the timing perfect. And yet ...
God knew and God provided - a friend, a teacher, an equal. When I sat stunned and betrayed, part of me was still trying to work through the mystery of this. Do not ask me, God's ways and timing are not my own. I still marvel and wonder where ultimately all will be found ...
He gave me what He knew I would need and it caused me pause to contemplate much about life, being a human being, about me and about God. In there is the concept of friendship in all of its manifestations.
Proverbs 17:17 - a friend hurts when your hurt.
It takes God's LOVE at all times to be able to be a friend when times are hard. Hard times show you whom your true friends really are. And I contemplated that as i saw a slow parade through my room in ER's CCU during the wait for surgery and then the recovery. Those whom were not my friends evaporated and were not to be found. And yet, I know, because I do know, though some think themselves enemies of me, they will figure it out and return to find my friendship will not have changed.
Consider Job 6:14, a friend should be there for you - even if you decide to abandon God! That is commitment and love being spelled out.
Proverbs 27:6 -A real friend will say what needs to be said, even when it hurts you. They will confront you with the truth. Everybody needs a real friend - flesh and blood - someone whom will have faith in you, even when we have lost faith in ourselves.
Proverbs 22:24 - avoid the angry man, his ways will rub off on you!
A real friend will bring out the best in you. They will encourage you, they will stand, when others fall away.
Whom you choose as friends is extremely important, pick the wrong ones and you will become like them and waste years until you wake up and realize how you have been played.
Pick the correct ones and you will be encouraged into becoming the best that you can be - and perhaps - even more!
So across this past weekend, a time of reflection and thanksgiving, I am saddened that those whom I counted as friends for decades - were not. I rejoice for those whom have been so during that same time period and as I have been tried by fire, stood there with me, and suffered as well, then encouraged me to be what I could still be. Then I rejoice for the new friend, I never could have foreseen, never could have understood and can only marvel at God and wonder, "What is He still up to?"
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