Fade Away

You have no idea how rough last week was!
You have no idea how relieved I am I survived last week.
Poor brother Timothy was calling multiple times a night just to be sure I had not killed myself.

People do not do what I was led to do last week - I decoded my own personality and was to learn the very secret of Kris.
Kris, as God created him, stripped of all and seen solely by me - as created.
No it was not pretty.
It was annoying to finally know.

It requires action on my part.
It requires one of my friends to take quite a responsibility in my life, for me to succeed.

But, where ever the remainder of the year leads, the usefulness of Thoughts From The Little Apple is over.

The sole purpose of blogs 1 through 7, was to help me through the struggle which began in August 2005 to arrive exactly at where I did last Thursday - almost 9 years later.  To resolve within myself the dichotomy between my reformation discipleship and where the American theological schools have led the church down the sewer of disbelief.  Talk about my bizarre life.  And, along the way, I discovered the real me and explanations for far more than anyone reading this wants to know.

And so from blog 7, I resign my pen.  The task is done.  The future lay ahead....
I will keep Thoughts from the Little Apple up, i think some of my best writings are in there, albeit, the least popular or read of my postings!  
But, this is the final post for this Blog.  I have no where else to go except a different direction and that would not be supported by the volume of posts here.

The further adventures of mine will be carried on here:
After The Apple

Not sure of the approach or what I will go into there - yet - at least for the rest of this year, but next year I hope to blow you away ...

To my faithful readers, thank you.  Your encouragement and prayers are all that have gotten me to where I suddenly find myself.

Musical Saturday Morning

I am posting this on April 29th.

Life has not quite gone as I had ever planned or foreseen.
I never could have understood what happened to me on December 29, 2012.
I never could have understood where it would lead.
I never could have understood the changes it would cause in my life.

After a night of prayer, I now know that it is time for Kris to just fade away.



I now know what is going on.
I understand what God is doing.
I sort of did before, but there was no confirmation.
Now, it all makes sense.
No, not an easy road to walk.

And they will point fingers and hiss.
But, they will never understand.
My purpose is far more humble than they can ever know.
And in that loss I am blessed ...

Object of Derision

I have a strong interest in understanding what went wrong in my life between 2008 and 2012 inclusively, so I have someone whom excels in human communications I retain as a consultant.  We have discussed life, the universe and everything else; so today we discussed my DNA problem.

Oh he was good, very, very good.  But only to prove to himself that I really am as described.  Once he was satisfied that I was not an illusion or demented, we continued our discussion at looking at my history and my honest desire to know what happened.

Net result?  I am incapable of understanding because I lack the very basis by which I would be able to understand.  And, yeah, I have to agree - using his examples and my inability to answer the questions.  Kris has met his match ... personal history and how to change it or at least guarantee it will never happen again.  There is no resolution.

Sigh ...

Some of his side conversations were questions which I could not correlate to any point of reference.  Again, something Kris can not not understand but apparently has made me an object of comic derision amongst my friends and acquaintances.  I have to admit I had wondered about that one because I can see affect, it had to have a cause - but I never could have understood.

And so I end a very interesting week.  It began with my Pastor's quotation from the Talmud, passed through a personal trashing you would not believe and ended with Kris suddenly understanding life, the universe and everything ...

On the one hand I can see how the wall I hide behind has been more of a problem than a protective device.  What was supposed to protect me and make me likable, seems to have backfired.  Instead, no one can reach me, because I am not there ...

Conversely, is the me that exists today, whom only one person wants to know and not deride me for.  And I have no real problem with that but the new me is still forming, weekly I am learning more and growing in ways I do not understand at this time.  It all seems so complicated sometimes!  And yet, the only internal peace I have actually experienced.

I am not so sure that my communication helper is going to be meeting the new me ... I might not be able to take the assassination he would attempt to perform.

But we will continue our talks ... from a human communications aspect I want him to explain some parts of First John.  It might help me in my new life.

So, I contacted my friends, those whom used to know me the best, last night.  I wanted honestly, brutal truth and I was ready for it.  Or so I thought.

Apparently, had I of just disappeared last January, I would not have been very missed.

"I have an annoying rosy viewpoint that is not appreciated"
"I am schizoid"
"I need professional help"
"I am delusional" etc, ad nauseum

Yeah, not exactly endearing terms were used.  Dutchman, as usual, was not available for comment on anything other than the house he is buying.

Timothy offered that whatever I do with my future that I should be like the guy in, "A Beautiful Mind", have a keeper to help me distinguish reality from delusion.

Interestingly, he offered his observation that as far as he could figure out, something had changed tremendously inside of me two years ago and i ought to get rid of it because no one understands it.

Yeah, so across the spectrum of my past life ... the best I could do it seems, to compensate for the breakage inside of me, was to become a cosmic comic joke amongst those I trusted for so many decades. All of this I saw last week, as Saturdays post will show, it just had to be so damn prophetic ....

Sharing Hope

When I planned this short series last weekend, I never could have envisioned where this study was taking me nor the changes it would bring about in my own life.  And I am not even sure what to share or what not to share.  It is like having an epiphany that suddenly makes seven years of your life suddenly make sense.  That would be in both a good and bad sense, as well as, learning a few things about myself that points to a future I had not anticipated being true about me.

Interestingly, my pastor has been thinking along the same lines as I and so between us I have some interesting notes on Philemon.

Be Of Service

• Our culture, we have plagued the world with, has nothing but excuses to be of service to anyone!
• Share the Gospel with others
• Be a true friend
• Assist others in their daily lives
• Learn to see God's hand and share this with others
• Challenge others to do as you are doing

Love

• Love God
• Love the person God puts in front of you
• Realize that NO need is too great
• Everything matters
• In front of  you, on your path is where  you will find your ministry

Help Let People Out of Their Boxes

• Understand what the real needs are
• Be who they need
• Like Paul, willingly be a prisoner for Jesus
• Do not judge them for their past
• Remind them that they are not that person any longer
• Yes, sin has consequences, but we do not have to live there

Be Sacrificial

• Jesus sees our sin
• He choose to sacrifice for us
• We see the sin of those around us
• We must choose to sacrifice for them

The pastor had a good one liner he shared from the Talmud:
"He who saves one life, saves the world"

 And in one sentence, he tripped a wire in my mind that began to unravel a mystery to me, about me.  But, I will wait on that one until another time ...

Fleeces, Faith and Hope

I have thought a great deal on the topic of hope this year.

I entered this year knowing I had no hope, life as far as I was aware was over for me and cursed with a bum leg would never be able to take that walk to Argentina to even escape myself much less this environment.  But, even dying on the road in Oregon is far better than the continued abuse I am taking (especially if I count in being completely ignored as even a human being!).

No hope, as I said ...

Except, for the hope that God fills me with - that I will be avenged, I will be justified, I will be used by Him, for His purposes.  And no, I do not understand the connection between His purpose and what all goes on around me.  It is one of those wait and see kind of things.  I do know my solution to all, but I have to be assured of His solution, if His perfection is to be attained.

Then my friend lost their hope.  Life had turned on them.  It was over.  And I understood all too well.  And I have thought months on this, the question of hope, faith and miracle quietly clicking away behind my regular stream of thought ...

I have to turn the clock back to 1974 and the birth of my first understanding of hope and faith.  I was reading in Judges 6 and 7, about Gideon and how he pared down his army from 32,000 to only 300 - to stand against the Midianites.  Of course, like any thinking man, he turned to God and set a "fleece" before the Lord to confirm that what God told him was true, real, and not a bad pizza the night before.  Judges 6:36 begins the tale of the fleece.

Gideon set two fleeces and both were miraculously answered.

And I thought on this.  I tried it, fleeces worked.  I shared this my College Study group and they were amazed someone had done this!  (I mean really, do people just read the Bible and not think, "Hmmm, I ought to try that ..." ?)

Dutchman and Swede were having a bitter fight over Sister Becka.  Each wanted her for themselves, and I only incurred both their wrath's because I told them she was not a piece of meat up for ownership!  Yeah even as a teen I was a feminist supporter, it was how I was raised in European schools and by my ancient great-uncle ...  So, one Sunday, Swede is driving from Tacoma, where I went to school, to church up in Kent.  He gets to telling me that he can hardly wait to get to church because he had laid a fleece that Becka was to be his unless Dutchman wore an orange shirt, green pants and a green dotted tie to Sunday  School!

I burst out laughing.

I had to explain to him that Dutchman did not own any clothing like that at all!  So, the fleece never could occur.  Swede commented that he believed in miracles and God could make it happen.  So, I had to ask him if he thought that God allows for free will or not?  Of course He does and that was what was wrong with this fleece, it made no allowance for Dutchman to be anything other than a robot before God, in order for Swede to have an answer to his fleece.

Swede slammed on the brakes and ordered me out of his car.  I was still about six miles from the church and would now miss Sunday School.  Swede stomped on the gas and was gone in a haze of blue smoke.

So, I am walking along the freeway to reach the next exit and a car immediately pulls up and stops behind me - it was one of the women in the college group!  She gave me a ride all the time howling at the story I told her.  We even passed the slow moving Swede!  And I learned an important lesson from her that morning:

Fleeces do not allow for faith in our walk before the Lord, they allow for superstition ...

Yeah, made more than just a little sense.  I could see how even I had become a little superstitious across the year and I had a girlfriend to prove it.  She made no sense in my life, but I asked God for ten - four leaf clovers to confirm that her advances on me were of Him, and I did find them, but I had no real peace.  Yeah, I kept the girlfriend just in case.  And like most women, they find out what a nerd I really am and poof!, they are gone.

Of course, Dutchman wore his usual brown tweed suit, as he ALWAYS did to church.  Swede jumped up and bolted from the room!  I never told anyone why other than the lady whom gave me a ride.

Yeah, occasionally I still use a fleece, small ones when I am struggling and I can not depend upon my mind to interpret what is going on around me.  More on that later.

So, just shy of forty years ago, I walked away from fleeces and trying to observe faith - that whole faith unto faith leading.  Where you start out with just the faith you have at conversion and God gives you a little more to meet the issue at hand and your faith grows.  God continues to feed your faith until one day, hopefully, you know that you will be able to move mountains!  Yeah, well that is sort of the goal I guess - the hope in what can not be seen or can be logically known.

Hope?  How hard to understand!  Faith, without no emotion, I could slightly get.  God promises a bunch of stuff.  I used fleeces as my crutch to know what was of Him or in the plans for me - until I hit the Becka fight and a verse about there being "a wicked and vile generation which seeks after signs".  Oh, the self condemnation over that one!

And I struggled with hope.  I had no hope, other than my only hope is in Jesus to cover my sin from God's eyes, I honestly today believe that hope is not even possible without emotion.  I could hope for a bunch of things but logically I knew that statistically they were impossibilities.

Then today, it dawned on me, faith and hope are interconnected!  I can Hope for say something unattainable and if it is in God's Will, it will come to pass and I have to be able to stay the course in Faith!  God's will, will be accomplished with or without my faith - it is His will not mine.  But, if I knew, if I had reason to suspect, then I would need hope and faith to make it to the goal - to His prize, whatever it might be.

So, this is just an introduction to the idea.  Tomorrow the entire idea of helping others to have hope ...

Smart Ass

Okay, I have always been the first to admit that I am a smart ass.  Usually this feature raises its ugly head at exactly the wrong moment and always before the wrong audience.

Take for instance when Gaelic Girl returned from her latest outing.  Uncharacteristically, she decided to tell me about going to an outlet mall because one of the women in the group wanted to buy some bamboo underwear ...

Me: Bamboo?

GG:  Yeah.

Me:  Real bamboo?

GG: Well it is not like it is made out of unprocessed wood.

Me:  Well, God help her if she goes to the zoo and the panda bears all escape ....

I was howling with laughter all alone over that one ...
I still think that was hilarious!

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I had to call Comcast for a device replacement activation.  And into automatic computer voice hell I descended, where the term "No" means to do what ever the machine darn well wants to do!

So, I am shouting "NO, NO, NO, NO!", into the phone and computer is doing whatever it wants and Gaelic Girl explodes because I am being abusive to a computer!

Really?
Abusive to a computer?
Abusive is when I broke a fist on an IBM 360 master console because the POC design engineer from IBM was not there for me to pummel!  And Hutterite, or not, he was going to die in that moment ...

Four hours later GG calls to ask if I am finished being abusive to the Comcast computer.
I told her that Comcast needed a real automation system and she needed to get a life.

I had a contract back in the 1980's with the US Navy creating a voice activated system which did work, so yeah it is possible and inexcusable that with advances in technology, a system this bad was created!

I am still smiling from the look on that pissed off face as well ...

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As you may know, if you are a regular reader, I have a shattered foot and an ankle broken in two places.  Problem is, it is the result of a degenerative bone disease caused by my klutziness and a problem with blood sugar levels.

Yeah, boring as spit.

So, I told the last person if they wanted the long story or the short story.  The selected short, so I told them about how I tripped on some stairs while rescuing a box full of kittens in a smoke filled house.  They got to laughing so hard that I have to think up another story.

I never could lie very well!

Of course if you have a better story please share!

Prayer Request

At my last employer, there was a guy, a real political suck up whom had advanced to senior vice president and was only months older than me.  One day he left his office, told his secretary he was going home and not feeling well.  This I could hear over the partition of my little "office" area.  Then the splat as he hit the floor.  He was dead before he even hit the floor according to the medics - massive brain aneurism.

I had a terrible call on Thursday from one of my oldest friends.  I was chatting with the husband on FaceBook, when the wife called me up on my phone and so I two conversations going.  I thought it funny at the time.  However, for as light as his train of thought was, hers was very troubling.  Then their son hops onto chat with me as well.  Which was odd, this never happens with any of them and me!

I was to learn that my first god-daughter, has developed a brain aneurism - which is leaking.  It is bad enough she lost her job due to the frequency of blacking out episodes.  And she is refusing any surgery.  So much prayer needed.

She was a very successful model - with all the pain and misery which goes with that.

She just turned 37 on Thursday.  So as part of her birthday wishes on FaceBook, I also sent her message with my current phone numbers in case she wanted to talk.  But, she still has not called.

She has always known what is right and what is wrong, she just chooses wrong every time.  And, I would like to see her pull her life back together before it is too late.  With this artery leaking, it is probably not going to be much longer until, like Alan, it ruptures and is all over.

And that will be a very sad day ...

:(

Musical Saturday Morning

Two competitors in a talent contest, both realizing that they had little hope, looked at each other on the elevator and the question was broached:  "what if we teamed up?"

And one of the more successful of the 1970's into the 1980's groups was born ...

From 1981, riding their high and before success overcame them:

Portlandia

In January 2013, I went do a birthday party down in Portland, for one of "my boys" from the 1970's.  It was now his 50th and he wanted to throw a bash.  Well it was certainly odd in any event...  I probably covered all of this last year.

However, once back home, my friend sent me this link to a show called Portlandia.  Never had heard of it and it is definitely Portland culture at its best!

Anyway at 58 seconds there appears this  huge red bearded guy.  And I could not believe it!  He had been at the birthday party!  One heck of a nice guy, with a real love for his wife.  I was amazed at his devotion to her because I honestly had never seen a non-dysfunctional relationship before, between husband and wife.  It made me think ...

This was all brought back this week as I had the Comcast guy over whom had never heard of Portlandia.  So I was showing him my downloads and he was just cracking up - because, well, it is Portland personified! So as he was on hold mostly for seven hours of waiting for technical help in India to get my system back up, we watched clip after clip of a show I would like to watch in its entirety one of these days!

And so, enjoy a few moments of Portland insanity:



Probably the best part of this video is that it is just what was happening along the Willamette River that day as they did the filming.  Clowns, the gay choir and band practicing, random people from both normal life and on the film crew.  Almost makes you want to move somewhere, where insanity reigns and hiding would be so easy ...

Bested

It is not often you will read about someone getting the better of me, man oh man, did Gaelic Girl utterly destroy me in our conversation!

I went to a professional because I wanted some independent input as to where I am, who GG is, the relationship that I believe needs to be terminated and all of the problems which have occurred since 2009.  He just stopped me about 20 minutes in and commented that there was no relationship given what I had told him.  I was being odd for even thinking something did exist.  But, I intrigued him with the complexity of the tale.

Well, I do agree with him.  There has not been anything for years.  Just inflicted pain and angry outbursts.

I write better than I can talk.  It takes me days to form a coherent sentence to express something meaningful to me.  And I told GG my opinion and thoughts.  But before I reached the part of how do you want to handle the liquidation?  I was reminded of something unpleasant.

She was a state champion in debate in her high school years.  I never was much into words, constructing arguments, etc.  All so much weasel words to me.  And she utterly destroyed me in under three sentences.  i was left with no reply because I never could have foreseen the tact she took to call me a liar outright.

I even have my posts from when she said what and I am still a liar - concocting this story stretching back years for some unknown reason.

I was left speechless and in an utter state of confusion.

So it seems my idea from the beginning of April will now become the major push - sell it all off piece by piece - I will have little room under my tree I move to in the woods.

Hard Answers

So last night was a night of prayer.  Prayer that God would let me know what I am supposed to do about Gaelic Girl and my situation.  As I have mentioned in the past, I have a problem letting go of friends, apparently to the point of absurdity.  As last night has shown, GG is completely beyond the pale of reality.

Back home she could have been quietly institutionalized and a proper diagnosis performed.  But, not in America, especially not in Washington State where the rights of the mentally ill are apparently greater than those they victimize.  And I have nothing left.

My ability to hold the course and keep her in the family has reached its end, at least as far as I am concerned.  Heavens I might be the one removed from the family if there is sides taking to be performed!  Sigh ...  No idea how all of this is going to play out today.

I had my friends praying last night with me for wisdom - because I need God's wisdom in this.  When I woke up this morning the only thing I really knew was that I had stayed here too long.  I should have left in 2012 or beginning of 2013 at the latest, so much pain and a major heart attack could have been avoided.  And Sugar Ray's song, Someday, would not be echoing through my mind still.

I hate failure. 
I hate losing friends. 
I hate what life has done to GG. 
But I can not hate what has happened inside of me.
To see in colors and to now understand life for the first time.  A blessing I could never share with GG because there was never any love between us.

So, I look ahead to a continued life alone, hey been there for the past five years!
Currently two friends left.
A small army of prayer warriors behind me.
An unknown future ahead.

And I know that God will continue to lead me, where He wants me, just as he has done for most of my life....

End of the Trail

I am if nothing, a gentleman, whom does try to be honorable.

I have struggled now for years to maintain something of a good relationship with Gaelic Girl.  Originally, I thought she was just going through the change of life, and perhaps she was.  But, she never came back from it.

Then, I kept making excuses for her violence, temper and ill regard towards me for over two  years now.

Last night was the end of a 37 year long trail.  She attacked my son's dog for getting into some chocolate she left out.  And he is a dog after all.  Apparently he was only startled and hid under son's bed for two hours.  But those blows were not called for nor just a simple slap on the rump - they could have easily have caused internal injuries ... I am surprised they did not, well we will know by morning probably.

Then it was then my turn. 

I went to an unapproved church on Sunday, I had lunch with a friend she does not approve of either.  I was told to never return to the church and to lose the last of my real friends ... and no, she does not want to be my friend either.

And so now, with the line drawn in the sand.  I will begin the packing up of what is important to me and find a storage location to put my important stuff in.

I had wanted to wait until GG had her surgery, so that she would be stable and able to work again in a few months.  But you know - I do not think I care anymore ... at least not as I write this anyways.

If I was a woman and she a man, the cops would be all over her right now.

In Passing, Paula

When I started attending this current church regularly, I instantly made a few solid acquaintances.  Guys were a little sparse because I have NO interest in sports and the men's mid-week study seems to only be attended by those whom were born without cojones.  Unfortunately, I was and I loath sitting around listening to men weeping about how unfair life is.  Really?  Then get your (*&*&^&%^^%#$) out of that chair and do something about it!  Gees, life is not that much of a mystery - if you have some cojones and bother to talk with God regularly .....

Well, that leaves the females of the church.  First off I killed off any attempts by single women to get to know me, because i do not want to know them and amongst the married women there three safe ones.  I have mentioned Elspeth before, she was a good friend, Vonnie was also (a long lost friend from my early NATO childhood! small world!) and last but not least Paula.

Paula, I met because I was surprised to find one of my clients at the church.  Well, here in the Pacific Northwest of America, with the lowest Christian church attendance outside Baghdad, plus we both work in Information Technology - not much chance of ever meeting up with one of my clients!  He was typical old school - quiet, hard to engage, always alone in a room full of friends.  Probably why I liked him - almost exactly like me.

Conversely, Paula was everything her husband was not - outspoken, gregarious, full of life!  But, also with a dark side.  Life had been cruel to the both of them, they married late in life and struggled to help each other with their personal demons.  Paula needed professional help and medication, and yet, even at that .....

Saturday morning, rumor has it, a single shotgun shot to the head and her struggles were over.

Her husband devastated.

"Friends", such as me, to stand with mouths open and unable to grasp what she has done.

Her pastors left more than a little uneasy ...  she never reached out in her final struggle.

Perhaps, as the week wears on, I will learn more as to why this happened.

In the meantime, I contemplate with pride the progress my friend is making.  In such a few short weeks from desiring death, to desiring life.  It has been a hard struggle for them and God always keeping me just in the nick of time with the words to say or the knowledge of what is needed.  Currently we are working on trust, hard to relearn once you have been betrayed in life.  Yet, without it, there can be no actual quality of life.  And, I know they are going to make it just fine .....

Musical Saturday Morning

Oh heavens I have no idea how long it has been since I first heard this, certainly pre'college days or maybe first year at the latest.

I remember I was back in Denver, laying in bed one night listening to music to drift off to by and suddenly this came on - I was up laughing for most of the night!

Female Pastorate - The Literal Approach

I have already laid out all of the traditional arguments yesterday as to why women may not hold the position of pastor or elder in the Church.  But, the arguments are a bit more in-depth than what a traditionalist is willing to go into supporting their arguments as to whether or not Paul is right or wrong, much less did Paul recognize female pastors?  By the way, Paul does mention females whom were believed to lead churches, but those references are ignored by the traditionalist and who they are is of no importance to this discussion ...

Viewpoint of Gifts
There is no assignment nor limits on usage of the Spiritual Gifts.  Male or female you each will be given gifts according to the will of the Holy Spirit.  How you use them is in part God's will and perhaps your own.  But, use it wrong and do not expect to have it for long!  It is the Holy Spirit's not yours!

Viewpoint of Ministry Opportunities
The word we use for Pastor from the Greek is the same as the one for Shepherd.  So, it is a Biblical concept.
From the Reformation Movement, the Pastor was one of the serving Elders, hence the requirements listed in yesterday's article for an Elders as logically being applied to the office of Pastor..

My Take On This

The traditional viewpoint is un-Godly and insulting to anyone willing to study their Bible or is female!
I am sorry but the Roman Catholics got it wrong 1700 years ago.

1 Corinthians 11:2 - 16
In this chapter, Paul discusses the concept of hair and head covering for women.
11:5-- “but any woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered disgraces her head--it is one and the same thing as having her head shaved.”

First up, a woman prays...  We are dealing with corporate worship in the church here.  Not over breakfast, not at the grocery store, not behind the wheel of their car.  They are in church and for what ever reason have been asked to pray.
And she is expected by Paul to have a Head Covering.

When my oldest daughter was in 10th grade, she was asked to say a prayer during the Sunday when the youth of the church took over all duties of the church.  She asked what to do.  So, I told her: "Write down your prayer so you can read it and then have a scarf on your shoulders to pull up over your head before you pray."  Seemed easy enough.  And because I am a Hutterite, this was to be considered quite normal.  Because she had been exposed to Russian Orthodox, it again was quite normal to her, even though not done in our church.  You also have to understand that she had not been out of a Russian orphanage all that long was still growing a head of hair.

That simple act of covering her head, you would have thought she had pulled off her blouse and bared herself, the reaction was that violent and so immediate to her prayer!  And the elders decided to take me on, followed by the pastor and the head of the women's ministry.  And we each proved to our own satisfaction the other quite wrong.  (And I am still right ... :) )

I am sorry.  But if she was to lead prayer during the service - she had to cover her head or just be in rebellion to God.  (Don't yell at me yet, finish with this study first!)

Pretty simple really.

Still in 1 Corinthians 11, Paul mentions a woman prophesizing.
Prophesy has two definitions: to foretell and to forthtell.

Foretelling is what most people think of when the terms prophet or prophesy is brought up.  Revealing the future has a means to draw the audience to God.  Many will argue that this no longer exists and certainly the vast majority whom claim a gift of prophesy are full of themselves and not the Holy Spirit.  (And yes, I can say I know of one whom has been 100% in his prophesies.)

Forthtelling is explaining what it is that God has done.  Revealing His hands at work all around us.  This is the role of the Pastor in your church!

So a woman, could very well be Forthtelling in the church service!  But the traditionalist would not accept that she is fulfilling the role of Pastor!  And she is told to have a Head Covering, in order to honor man and her God.

But, wait a minute!  Paul just answered this whole battle right here - there are women pastors he recognizes!  And if they are of God, they will cover their heads.  Ah, but we have oh so much more to cover!

Pre-Christian Culture
Corinth had three temples to the goddess Aphrodite, the goddess of love, employing some one thousand temple prostitutes. The city was renowned for these temple prostitutes, who served the wealthy merchants and the powerful officials living in or traveling in and out of the city.  It is thought that much of what Paul wrote concerning women in Corinth may well have been culturally relevant to Christian woman living in Corinth.

So, you are a Christian woman, you need to have long hair - the prostitutes were either bald or had very short hair.  Then cover your hair when praying or prophesying (per above) to further distance  yourself from the the prostitutes and their activities during their "services".

Christian Culture
The Roman Catholic Church took the stance that Paul's instructions for women in Corinth were for all women everywhere, across all time.  This is based upon the concepts of:

• Verse 2 (παραδίδωμι, παραδόσις) indicates that Paul’s instruction is part of traditional doctrine that he was passing on to the Church.  But Paul here does not give any details of the instruction. That is picked up in the rest of the passage.
• Verses 3-9 base this instruction on a theological hierarchy and on creation.  God is the head of Christ, Christ is the head of the man, the man is the head of the woman.  It is important to note that Paul is in no way arguing for the inferiority of the woman to the man, for he roots his convictions in the Godhead. Christ is only functionally subordinate to the Father.  The wife, then, is functionally subordinate to the husband, but in no way positionally inferior.
• Verse 10 bases the  woman’s symbol of subordination on a fine point concerning a witness to angels of man's authority or personal submission.
• Verses 13-15 roughly constitute an argument from nature.
• Verse 16 is an argument from the collective wisdom of the church universal, for Christians elsewhere have no other practice.

The point being - woman are to cover their heads in some manner.

Modern Culture

Today, however, the situation is quite different, at least in the West.  For a woman to wear a head covering would seem to be a distinctively humiliating experience.  Many women--even biblically submissive wives--resist the notion precisely because they feel awkward and self-conscious.  But the head covering in Paul’s day was intended only to display the woman’s subordination, not her humiliation.  Today, ironically, to require a head covering for women in the worship service would be tantamount to asking them to shave their heads!  The effect, therefore, would be just the opposite of what Paul intended.  Thus, in attempting to fulfill the spirit of the apostle’s instruction, not just his words, some suitable substitute symbol needs to be found.  And that answer lay within the realm of the culture to which you are member of.

So, as with most controversy within the Christian body of believers, we have the duty to study all issues, consider all things in prayer and then understand that we represent God - not ourselves or our desires - before all whom surround us.  With that comes the requirement:

"See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise", Ephesians 5:15

“You became obedient from the heart to that pattern of teaching to which you were committed”, Romans 6:17

What is wisdom when considering the idea of women in the pastorate?

For some it is a resounding "NO" and God becomes limited in that church to the narrow viewpoint of subjugation of women.
For some it is a resounding "YES" and God is free to use whom He cares to in that church, assuming that those people for whatever positions they are being considered for, they are Biblically qualified for!

As for the entire issue of head coverings ...  We do not live in a culture where they are expected nor respected.  Personally because of my early Hutterite days, yes I think they are appropriate for females personally - whether your church practices this or not.  This something which is between you and God, if you are female.  If you are male - shut your mouth and let the women decide for themselves!  This is not a matter of "maturity" or "special revelation"!  It is their testimony of their faith in God, of their submission, not yours ...

Female Pastorate - Classic Argument

(Disclaimer: I do not support the classic argument, this is my best take on the traditional viewpoint which has been passed to Christianity by the Roman Catholic Church.)

In today's social climate of complete equality in all things, the Biblical teaching of only allowing men to be pastors and elders is not popular.  Many feminist organizations denounce this position as antiquated and chauvinistic.  In addition, many Christian churches have adopted the "politically correct" social standard and have allowed women pastors and elders in the church.  But the question remains, is this Biblical?

The classic answer is, "No, women are not to be pastors and elders."  Many may not like that answer; but it is one representation of the Biblical standard.  You make the decision after reading this series.

First of all, women are under-appreciated and under-utilized in the church.   There are many gifted women who might very well do a better job at preaching and teaching than many men.  However, it isn't gifting that is the issue but God's order and calling.  What does the Bible say?  We cannot come to God's Word with our own social agenda and make it fit our wants and desires.  Instead, we must change and adapt to what it says.

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth, the garden of Eden, and Adam and Eve.  He put Adam in the garden and gave him the authority to name all the animals.  Afterwards, God made Eve as a helper to Adam.  This is an important concept because Paul refers to the order of creation in his epistle to Timothy when he discusses the relationship between men and women in the church context.  Let's take a look at 1 Timothy 2:12-14:

"But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but remain quiet. For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve. And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being quite deceived, fell into transgression."

This passage has several interesting areas of discussion, but for the classic argument we must focus on authority. At the very least, there is an authority structure set up by God: The woman is not to have authority over the man in the church context, but this does not extend to the political/economic world.  In the Old Testament Deborah was a judge in Israel over men.  Also, in the New Testament, Phoebe played an important role in the church at Cenchrea (Romans 16).  There is no doubt that women supported Paul in many areas and were great helpers in the church (Acts 2:17; 18:24-26; 21:8-9).  But what Paul is speaking of in 1 Timothy 2 is the relationship between men and women in the church structure--not in a social or political context.

When we look further at Paul's teachings, we find that the bishop/overseer is to be the husband of one wife (1 Timothy 3:2), who manages his household well, and has a good reputation (1 Timothy 3:4-5, 7).  Deacons must be "men of dignity" (1 Timothy 3:8).  Paul then speaks of women in verse 11 and their obligation to receive instruction.   Then in verse 12, Paul says "Let deacons be husbands of one wife . . . "   Again, in Titus 1:5-7, Paul says,  

"For this reason I left you in Crete, that you might set in order what remains, and appoint elders in every city as I directed you, namely, if any man be above reproach, the husband of one wife, having children who believe, not accused of dissipation or rebellion.  For the overseer must be above reproach as God's steward . . . "

Notice that Paul interchanges the word 'elder' and 'overseer'.

In each case, the one who is an elder, deacon, bishop, or overseer is said to be male.  He is the husband of one wife, responsible, able to "exhort in sound doctrine and to refute those who contradict" (Titus 1:9).   We see no command for the overseers to be women.  On the contrary, women are told to be "dignified, not malicious gossips, but temperate, faithful in all things" (1 Timothy 3:11).  Why is it that it is the men who are singled out as the overseers?  It is because of the created order of God that Paul references (Gen. 1-2; 1 Timothy 2:12-14).  This is not merely a social custom that fell away with ancient Israel.

Additionally, in the Old Testament in over 700 mentions of priests, every single one was a male.   There is not one instance of a female priest.  This is significant because priests were ordained by God to hold a very important office of ministering the sacrifices.  This was not the job of women.  Therefore, from what I see in Genesis 1-2, 1 Timothy 2, and Titus 1, the normal and proper person to hold the office of elder/pastor is to be a man.

What About Galatians 3:28?

"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus." 

This verse is often used to support the idea that women can hold the offices of elder and pastor because there is neither male nor female in Christ.  The argument states that if we are all equal, then women can be pastors.

Unfortunately, those who use this verse this way have failed to read the context.   Verse 23 talks about being under the Law "before faith came" and how we are brought closer to Jesus and have become sons of God by faith.   We are no longer under law, but grace and we are "Abraham's offspring, heirs according to the promise," (v. 29).  The point of this passage is that we are all saved by God's grace according to the promise of God, and that it doesn't matter who you are--Jew, Greek, slave, free, male, or female. All are saved the same way--by grace.  In that, there is neither male nor female.

This verse is not talking about church structure.  It is talking about salvation "in Christ."   It cannot be used to support women as pastors because that isn't what it is talking about.  Instead, to find out about church structure and leadership, you need to go to those passages that talk about it: 1 Timothy 2 and Titus 1.  Being a Pastor or Elder is to be in Authority

God is a God of order and balance.   He has established order within the family (Gen. 3:16; 1 Cor. 11:3; Eph. 5:22-33; Col. 3:18-21 ) and the church (1 Timothy 2:11-14; 1 Cor. 11:8-9).  Even within the Trinity, there is an order--a hierarchy.  The Father sent the Son (John 6:38), and both the Father and the Son sent the Holy Spirit (John 14:26; 15:26).  Jesus said, "For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me." (John 6:38).  It is clear that God is a God of order and structure.

In creation, God made Adam first and then Eve to be his helper.  This is the order of creation. It is this order that Paul mentions in 1 Timothy 2:11-14 when speaking of authority.   Being a pastor or an elder is to be in the place of authority.  Therefore, within the church, for a woman to be a pastor or elder, she would be in authority of men in the church which contradicts what Paul says in 1 Timothy 2:11-14.

But Doesn't This Teaching Belittle Women?

No, male leadership does not belittle women.  Jesus was given his authority by God the Father (Matthew 28:18). He was sent by God (John 6:38).  He said the Father was greater than He (John 14:28).  Did this belittle Jesus?  Of course not.  Women are of great value in the church and need to be used more and more according to the gifts given them.

Does the wife's submission to the husband mean that she is less than the husband, less important, or belittled?  Again, not at all.  Not having a place of leadership in the church does not mean a woman is less of a person, less important to God, or inferior.  All are equal before God whether it be Jew, Gentile, free, slave, male, or female.  But in the church, God has set up an order the same way he set one up in the family.  The chain of command is Jesus, the man, the wife, and the children.

What About Women Who Say They are Called By God to Be Pastors?

There are women pastors in the world who love their congregations and have stated that they are called by God to be pastors.   Of course, I cannot agree with this considering the previous analysis of the biblical position.   Instead, I believe they have usurped the position of men and gone against the norm of scriptural revelation.   Additionally, those who state that they are called by God because of the great job they are doing and the gifting they have received are basing their theology upon experience and not scripture.

The issue is simple: are they submitting to the word of God, or are they making the word of God submit to their desires?  What About a Missionary Woman Who Establishes a Church?

Scripture establishes the norm.   As Christians, we apply what we learn from the word to the situations at hand.   So, what about the situation where a woman missionary has converted a group of people, say in the jungle somewhere, and she has established a church?  In that church, she is then functioning as a pastor and teacher having authority over men in the church.   Should she not do this?

First of all, she should not be out there alone.   She should be with her husband or, at the very least, under the oversight of a church body in the presence of other women and men.  Missionary work is not a lone endeavor to be handled by single women.

Second, if in some highly unusual set of circumstances there is a woman in a lone situation, it is far more important that the word of God be preached and the gospel of salvation go forth to the lost than not.   Whether it be male or female, let the gospel be spoken.  However, I would say that as soon as there is/are males mature enough to handle eldership, that she should then establish the proper order of the church as revealed in scripture and thereby show her submission to it.

Does this also mean that women shouldn't wear jewelry?

"Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments; 10 but rather by means of good works, as befits women making a claim to godliness. 11 Let a woman quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. 12 But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet. 13 For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve." (1 Timothy 2:9-13).

Some argue that if we are to forbid women to be elders, then the context of 1 Timothy 2:9-13 demands that we require women to no have braided hair, wear gold, or have costly garments.  Since no one wants to put that sort of a demand on a woman, since it is cultural, then why should we also demand that they not be elders since it would logically follow that it was also a culturally based admonition?

The problem here is that multifaceted.  First, the objection ignores what the scriptures plainly teach about the elder being the husband of one wife.  Second, it fails to address the real issue of biblical headship residing in the male.  Third, it fails to properly exegete the scripture in question.

In 1 Timothy 2:9-13 Paul tells us that women should be modestly dressed. He uses the example of the then present-day adornment as an example of what not to do. This is a culturally based assessment by Paul.  Notice that Paul emphasizes good works and godliness as a qualifier (as does Peter, see 1 Peter 3:2).   This is not a doctrinal statement tied to anything other than being a godly woman in appearance as well as attitude.

In verse 11, Paul says that a woman should quietly receive instruction.   Please note that The word, "heµsychia", translated “quietness” in 1 Timothy 2:11 and silent in verse 12, does not mean complete silence or no talking.  It is clearly used elsewhere (Acts 22:2; 2 Thessalonians 3:12) to mean “settled down, undisturbed, not unruly."  A different word, "sigaoµ", means “to be silent, to say nothing” (Luke 18:39; 1 Cor. 14:34).”  Paul is advocating orderliness in this verse.

Then in verses 12-13, Paul says:

"But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet. 13 For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve."

Notice that Paul directly relates the authority issue with the created order.  He does not do this with the woman's dress code.  Therefore, the dress code is cultural and the authority issue as doctrinal since the latter is tied to the creation order and the dress code, and authority issues are not.

Conclusion

God's word clearly tells us that the elder is to be the husband of one wife.  A woman cannot qualify for this position by virtue of her being female.  Whether anyone likes it or not is irrelevant to the fact that this is what the Bible teaches.

Tomorrow, a slightly more balanced and non traditional approach to this issue ...

The Female Pastorate - The Problem

On Good Friday, my friend was not going to be in town - off skiing with friends.  So what to do on a Friday evening all alone?  No clue.  It is only when my friend called to tell me that an expired passport kept them back from the ski trip, that I learned about a church having a Good Friday service.  I have never been up on the Roman Catholic traditions within the American Church, but never having been to a Good Friday service, why not?

The pastor got up and introduced herself ... Herself.

Now I have only twice seen a woman pastor before and both times it was not a situation of should this be, but should they be?

The first time was with my best friend from high school and his new bride.  Their church as the largest in Denver and had a female pastor.  Well, she did wear a head covering and the man sitting behind her was her husband.  He was on the stage to show he supported her ministry.  Hmmmmm.  Seems to work Biblically for me.  Unfortunately, she eventually divorced her husband and he disappeared off the stage, she lost the head covering and became a major player in the health and wealth gospel.  When ever I was in town in a Sunday, I just never told my friend, so that I would not have to be negative about his selection of church.

The second time was to an Episcopalian church, taken there by two of my rock collecting friends.  Of course, I sort of caused a bit of a mess, when she got on the stage and I blurted out none to quietly, "My God!  She is a lesbian!  What is a homosexual doing pretending to be a priest!?!?"  Yeah, darn that Discernment!  That one sort of killed the sermon for the day and it took three years for them to defrock her, however she was never allowed to serve as a priest in the meantime.  And I read that she eventually sued the Episcopal Church for her old job back!  She lost in court but by then the denomination had sort of split and she was able to land another opportunity in another state with the renegade side of the church.

And this woman, standing there on Good Friday, did not have her head covered.  I know nothing about her.  And I liked her sermon, well more of an exhortation style of address.  Which is good and certainly Christians should be encouraged to take action especially at Easter time!

But was it Biblical?  I mean I have never really dug deeply into the subject.  I know there are random verses covering this subject, mostly in Paul's writings - but exactly what do they support when used in context and without Roman Catholic traditions applied to them?  This is a real question I had.

So, this week I have been researching this.  I have so far done the traditional interpretation - no woman in the pastorate approach and now need to use the exact same verses to support the non-traditional approach of a woman could be a pastor!  Almost as much fun as arguing pre, mid and post trib rapture viewpoints.

Hope this envisioned series works out!

Making Praise Come Alive

Psalm 95
Regardless of worship style, these four principles are to be considered:

Accept, Don't Neglect God's Invitation 
Verses 1,2,6
-Come
Set aside, gather together, worship Him
-US
Corporate worship with other believers

Participate, Don't Just Watch
Sing
Thanksgiving
Praise
Bow down
Kneel

God is the audience of worship and praise
This not a feeling
It is you givintg

Focus on God, Don't Focus on Yourself
Centered on God and who He is
Not about you or me, our feelings, our needs
Know He is God - He is Holy!

Stop, Don't Harden Your Heart
God will turn His back on us if we do.
Exodus 17 think on the Jews, complaining - they failed the test!
If we grumble and complain, we miss the point of being transformed!

God vs "god"

I have long held that the God I know, is not the God I see worshiped, nor referenced on the internet, and strangely not in print anymore.  I recently have read several authors whom claim Christianity has gone through a metamorphosis across the past 30 years.  What “worked” in the 1980’s no longer does and we as Christian leaders must be a part of the change to catch up with this culture or we will lose them and become irrelevant.

Irrelevant?  Just the fact that this statement was made by the top grossing Christian writer ever, I think shows just how irrelevant we have become as Christians.  It is not that we are in a post-Christian culture, or age, so much as we now find ourselves the victims of two or three generations of complacent Christians whom have handed over to us a broken religion.  Note I did not say Christianity.

For decades I have blamed this on Hollywood, TV, a culture gone mad with decadence (sex, drugs, rock-n-roll, and almost limitless money!).  I then switched to the idea that it must be the fault of the American theological system – the rot had to have started in the schools and mind you, there is plenty of evidence that there has been poison pushed into the Christian ministry from decades of un-Godly teachers in our seminaries.  But, still there has to be more.  Could it be the difference between a Reformation viewpoint and one based upon the Renaissance Movement had a difference we are just beginning to see?  The Renaissance, for all its incredible feats – produced religion based solely upon man’s reaching out to God.  Conversely, the Reformation believed that God reached out to man.  Many believe there is no difference, what do you think?

Well, I believe there is a huge difference.  If man can initiate any form of Godly activity, then salvation becomes something you are responsible for, not God.  The Holy Spirit is not something given when God decides, it is something you demand.  Etc.  The effect on your faith and your witness can be devastating spiritually.

Now what if you were to create the ultimate perfect spiritual storm?  A Renaissance faith, led by men not schooled in the true faith, a multi-media driven culture, intent upon self-service and caring little about what happens outside their closed doors?  Ultimately, we are discussing paganism, by those believing themselves to be Christian.

Hmmmmm.

So, what does this contrast look like?

(The following is not approved by anyone, is not a reflection upon this Church or its staff or leadership.  It is not intended to have you draw value based judgments in any manner.  It is to show the sharp contrasts which exist within our Church culture, which still claims to be Christian.  Don’t you just love weasel words?)

	God of Western Culture			God of the Bible
	Asceticism		Epicureanism	Asceticism	Epicureanism
Nature of God		God is limited by man’s rules	God works by our desire/command	Bound by His “rules”	Limitless
Primal Sin		A choice	Everybody does it	Born into it	What separates you from God
Salvation		Grown into	Many ways	New life, grow/learning	New life, new person
Faith		Belief in something	An expression of belief	Personal basis for belief	A walk
Works		Proves salvation	None required, a choice	Limited by willingness	Evidence of salvation
Worship		Form, no freedom	Freedom, no form	God’s form	God’s freedom
Holy Spirit		Does not exist in this age	No constraints	Within constraints	Used as God desires
Sacraments		Done on a schedule	As convenient	As commanded	Part of worship, love
Witness		“the church”	Paid professionals	Scheduled, practiced, managed	Your life
Tithing		Percentage required	Blessing by % given	Limited by willingness	Expects all you have
Missions		Church uses left over funds	High visibility projects	% based on budget	Give as needs are identified
Post-Sin		Self-denial	Caused by lack of faith	Blocks God’s blessings	Covered by sanctification