The future is not fluid, it is fixed. Even though you believe you have choices, you really don't. Your every action will have long ago been known, every correction needed already planned, your task is sitting out there waiting for you. It is what I have talked about several times in the past here.
That future plays upon my mind because I do not understand how paths can become so hard to understand. I have always gone with the idea that you step on a path and you chug on down the road. Even though, at the start of my Christian life I saw, with my own two eyes, someone implode their path and the ripples that caused. But, those of us affected stepped over the ripples and continued on our paths, now separately - yet together. Then, to see my understanding so suddenly shocked by a second time of witnessing this happen again. Only those ripples, this time, may well knock me completely sideways myself. I know God has never let go of me, I am in His hand, but I worry for those affected by ripples they will not understand - just as I could not have 40 years ago.
Today, I tread gently, for I do fear the future, I fear those ripples, and I have seen the destroyed. I have equally seen past this to a tomorrow which does not seem to connect with where I am today. So, as I have mentioned for almost a year now, change is upon me, the path narrows.
Is today a point of that change? I do not know. It is certainly a part, each day forward is another day closer to whatever that future holds. So yes. But, also I would hope to end the ripples to start on that new path, I would have done that eight months ago when God told me, showed me, my path, that my current future was over. It is sort of like a death sentence in a way, to know the past, to see the future, to know that only God can connect the two.
And I have to stay out of the way and yet still play a role.
Well, if it was easy, I would not need Him.....
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