You were created to be a part of a community. Through genetic deformity, I am the only one I have ever known, whom was created unable to be a part of community, except through choice. Sure, there are plenty whom have been so damaged by their environments that they are unable to be a part of a civilized society, however, they still were created to be - it took man and his sin to damage them out of it. (just my soap box on what i think of modern psychiatry and the "justice" system.)
John 14:1-3
Reject the world's isolationism!
Technology today is targeted to divide and separate us.
A recent survey showed that 30% of men have no one they call their best friend!
In the USA, independence is the goal and the "god" of the culture, thanks to Hollywood.
But, independence does not work, it will not bring happiness.
Happiness is only to be found through dependence. Tricky, huh?
As Christians, we are told to love one another, yet our culture creates lovers of self.
Is "self" now a god? Is there a cult of "self" rampant in the world today?
The community of the Christian is a place for selfish people to gather and to learn how to put away the natural man, the selfish man, the lover of self, to end the Independence.
Rejoice in how you are made!
You were created to depend upon others.
But, often man's natural nature gets in the way.
And we are damaged into independence because we can only trust ourselves. Right?
The sense of community is to re-establish the model of Jesus.
Jesus lived the whole of his life within the concept of community.
The Christian church, aka the Way, began as a community, where they came together.
This church supported one another, handled judicial proceedings, taught, discipled, sent out witnesses, etc.
Contrast this to the "friendless" American male cited above. Interesting.
Remember the early church model.
Acts 2:42, the church was devoted to fellowship, worship, teaching, community needs.
It was all about the community!
Christianity can not be experienced only by yourself, for it requires community.
When God seems distant in your life, then you know that you are no longer a part of community. You need to be back with those in the church whom know you, and honestly love you ..... and that is where you are to be. That is where you will find real fellowship, healing and growth for yourself and in your life.
Conversely, if you really want to how why people get sucked into cults, religious or otherwise, you just learned why. The organization they become a part of offers the sense of community they seek.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Failures and Success
John chapters 13 through 15 are essentially Jesus' farewell address to his disciples, soon to be the future apostles. Thinking on our relationship with Jesus, ourselves and the failures/successes in our lives.
John 13:31-33, 36-38, Luke 22:31-34
The issue here concerns the topic of faith and trust.
We trust other drivers on the freeway, we don't even know whom they are.
We trust the cooks at our favorite dining establishment.
We trust the pilot of the aircraft we are on or is flying over our homes!
But we fail to trust in God wholly. Faith evades us because we only can see today with no view of tomorrow.
We have to learn to relax and trust God, He knows what He is doing in our lives. No co-incidents, no luck, no charms, no yin/yang, sparkly aura, or karma actually exists for the Christian. God has a design involving you, you are where He wants you now, your situation (outside of sin) by designation.
By the way, God know what you are doing as well!
Peter offered to die for Jesus. And Jesus knew that the future held only betrayal by Peter in the short term.
For each of us, God knows our desires but also our failures. He does protect us from ourselves and from our weaknesses, in so much, as we are willing to allow Him to do so. Yes, if you are hell bent for sin, He will step aside and allow you to reap what you sow. And I have seen some horrible tragedies because of that one....
So, outside of your sin life, God is there with you.
He will be your God.
He will strengthen you in times of need.
He will help you to accomplish what you must.
He will uphold you before Satan and his condemnations.
Rejoice, for He knows what He can do with us today and through all of our tomorrows!
John 13:31-33, 36-38, Luke 22:31-34
The issue here concerns the topic of faith and trust.
We trust other drivers on the freeway, we don't even know whom they are.
We trust the cooks at our favorite dining establishment.
We trust the pilot of the aircraft we are on or is flying over our homes!
But we fail to trust in God wholly. Faith evades us because we only can see today with no view of tomorrow.
We have to learn to relax and trust God, He knows what He is doing in our lives. No co-incidents, no luck, no charms, no yin/yang, sparkly aura, or karma actually exists for the Christian. God has a design involving you, you are where He wants you now, your situation (outside of sin) by designation.
By the way, God know what you are doing as well!
Peter offered to die for Jesus. And Jesus knew that the future held only betrayal by Peter in the short term.
For each of us, God knows our desires but also our failures. He does protect us from ourselves and from our weaknesses, in so much, as we are willing to allow Him to do so. Yes, if you are hell bent for sin, He will step aside and allow you to reap what you sow. And I have seen some horrible tragedies because of that one....
So, outside of your sin life, God is there with you.
He will be your God.
He will strengthen you in times of need.
He will help you to accomplish what you must.
He will uphold you before Satan and his condemnations.
Rejoice, for He knows what He can do with us today and through all of our tomorrows!
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
The Struggle
Kid gloves off here, dear reader, just admit you are a sinner (defined as you still fail God). If you think you are living a sin free life, well you have a different challenge to address than you will find in this post.
We struggle, individually and even together with others if we are open, over our sins and failures before God. Struggle is the word here, because life as a Christian in a fleshly body is a struggle, for some hourly, daily, weekly, monthly - what ever your failure rate, we still struggle to overcome our baser natures and perform as we know we are called to be! And we fail. And we grow disillusioned. I mean really, if God wanted me to overcome 100% of failures, then don't you think He would be a little more helpful?
To make matters even worse for us, when our sins are found out - and they usually are - we are horribly embarrassed and all the Christians about us act like chickens clucking their self-righteous tongues at us. And let us not forget that we have plenty of success stories to stare us in the face! Testimonies we hear in church or read in magazines and books, "I was saved/delivered miraculously from:" file in the blank. Alcoholism, drug addictions, sexual immorality of all kinds. Yeah, we cluck out tongues at those and forget the lies, gossip, slander, our many hatreds, our pride before God, disrespect for our parents, the list is unending of our failures before God, but those do not count aftrerall - they are my hidden problems - not the obvious ones XYZ has.
Unfortunately, just to level set the playing field here concerning sin - the worse sin is Pride. I am cursed by it, it crushes my relationship with God. Guess what! Because of that, I am actually worse before God than the greatest sinner whom has ever lived! And just like whom ever that is (me maybe?) I still need forgiveness and supernatural strengthening daily, if not moment by moment. So, for as many whom have walked with me in discipleship know, there is no condemnation ever from Kris. And I can join you in your frustration at our mutual failures.
Thanks to the miraculous stories we are exposed to, we have frustration because God did this for someone else and not for me. (Though I have yet to hear a testimony of someone miraculous cured of pride....) It always seems to be something flashy, whatever the culture's big evil is of the time, So if we are not careful, we can be drawn to unrealistic expectations for God to perform a miracle! Nothing wrong with desiring one but God works to His good, not ours. Your failing may just be what is needed one day to witness to a lost one, suffering the same as you. Or to keep you humble and remind you when you are before Him just how much you actually need Him.
And we can even blame God when we don't have that miracle or instant deliverance from our stumbling block in our spiritual life. After all God is not to blame if I am such a miserable creature that He will not heal me of this! I am just too weak in my faith, do not have enough faith, too immature, too carnal, too much me, too whatever! Any of those could be true but if you are seeking to end your sin life - probably not.
It is the struggle we engage in which is the point. To use my Sunday School class as an example, I asked them one morning what their greatest struggle was. I did not expect them offer "internet porn" and then have unanimous agreement! A level of honesty I rarely encounter. So we went off script and had a great session discussing this entire subject, much as we are here. The struggle we are in against ourselves and sin - is normal.
Christianity is a religion based upon the struggles of two millenia of sinners just like you and me. From the very beginning, think of Judas and his failure, Paul's struggle against whatever plagued him, Augustine's conflict with this sexual abandon, Martin Luther's fight against the demons of his mind, and even me as expressed above.
At this point, I revert back to one of my early mentors, Bill Bright. He had a concept of what he called spiritual breathing. You sin, so you exhale your confession to God (your agreement with Him that you suck and failed again) and then breathe in His Grace (forgiveness of your state). I always liked that example, easy to remember, easy to do.
Keep up the struggle! and remember we wrestle not with flesh and blood but with spirits and principalities, whom sole desire is to derail you and your witness.
We struggle, individually and even together with others if we are open, over our sins and failures before God. Struggle is the word here, because life as a Christian in a fleshly body is a struggle, for some hourly, daily, weekly, monthly - what ever your failure rate, we still struggle to overcome our baser natures and perform as we know we are called to be! And we fail. And we grow disillusioned. I mean really, if God wanted me to overcome 100% of failures, then don't you think He would be a little more helpful?
To make matters even worse for us, when our sins are found out - and they usually are - we are horribly embarrassed and all the Christians about us act like chickens clucking their self-righteous tongues at us. And let us not forget that we have plenty of success stories to stare us in the face! Testimonies we hear in church or read in magazines and books, "I was saved/delivered miraculously from:" file in the blank. Alcoholism, drug addictions, sexual immorality of all kinds. Yeah, we cluck out tongues at those and forget the lies, gossip, slander, our many hatreds, our pride before God, disrespect for our parents, the list is unending of our failures before God, but those do not count aftrerall - they are my hidden problems - not the obvious ones XYZ has.
Unfortunately, just to level set the playing field here concerning sin - the worse sin is Pride. I am cursed by it, it crushes my relationship with God. Guess what! Because of that, I am actually worse before God than the greatest sinner whom has ever lived! And just like whom ever that is (me maybe?) I still need forgiveness and supernatural strengthening daily, if not moment by moment. So, for as many whom have walked with me in discipleship know, there is no condemnation ever from Kris. And I can join you in your frustration at our mutual failures.
Thanks to the miraculous stories we are exposed to, we have frustration because God did this for someone else and not for me. (Though I have yet to hear a testimony of someone miraculous cured of pride....) It always seems to be something flashy, whatever the culture's big evil is of the time, So if we are not careful, we can be drawn to unrealistic expectations for God to perform a miracle! Nothing wrong with desiring one but God works to His good, not ours. Your failing may just be what is needed one day to witness to a lost one, suffering the same as you. Or to keep you humble and remind you when you are before Him just how much you actually need Him.
And we can even blame God when we don't have that miracle or instant deliverance from our stumbling block in our spiritual life. After all God is not to blame if I am such a miserable creature that He will not heal me of this! I am just too weak in my faith, do not have enough faith, too immature, too carnal, too much me, too whatever! Any of those could be true but if you are seeking to end your sin life - probably not.
It is the struggle we engage in which is the point. To use my Sunday School class as an example, I asked them one morning what their greatest struggle was. I did not expect them offer "internet porn" and then have unanimous agreement! A level of honesty I rarely encounter. So we went off script and had a great session discussing this entire subject, much as we are here. The struggle we are in against ourselves and sin - is normal.
Christianity is a religion based upon the struggles of two millenia of sinners just like you and me. From the very beginning, think of Judas and his failure, Paul's struggle against whatever plagued him, Augustine's conflict with this sexual abandon, Martin Luther's fight against the demons of his mind, and even me as expressed above.
At this point, I revert back to one of my early mentors, Bill Bright. He had a concept of what he called spiritual breathing. You sin, so you exhale your confession to God (your agreement with Him that you suck and failed again) and then breathe in His Grace (forgiveness of your state). I always liked that example, easy to remember, easy to do.
Keep up the struggle! and remember we wrestle not with flesh and blood but with spirits and principalities, whom sole desire is to derail you and your witness.
Monday, February 25, 2013
God vs Man's Logic
These are notes from a study I was putting together for my class, alas never to be taught now, but shouldn't you benefit from the effort? Yeah, you can sniff these and think upon them!
Science, although it will be hotly denied, ultimate goal is to prove there is no God and that He is of no relevance. Science is today used to address all which was within the realm of "God" yesterday. It is now used explain everything, and if it can be explained through science - then there really is no God! Right?
Luke 24:13-16, 25-27, 44-47
Jesus said that David wrote through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit (of Psalm 110). So Scripture is inspired by the Holy Spirit, or "God breathed".
The Bible really does not have errors in the details. I have a book from the era of the German "Higher Criticism" detailing for 1,100 pages the falsehoods of the Bible. Yet, beginning with the finding of the Dead Sea Scrolls, the Ninevah Library, etc - the critic is stuck seeing most of their arguments slowly be translated away. We do not need to water down the message of the Scriptures. There are hundreds of ways to argue against the Scriptures and just as many to argue for the details the critics choke on. Point is most of us are not going to be apologists (my degree) but we are going to be witnesses.
The natural man (ie most of mankind) is not going to accept the things of God. He will never accept Scripture or God until the Holy Spirit opens his eyes, ears and heart.
God's truth will supersede the mind of the natural man.
Isaiah 44:14-17 addresses how man makes his idols.
In the end:
Man has always been about making up their own religion. We make up what we will accept and believe. Christians regularly do this with Scripture to create a religion acceptable to them. Pick and chose the aspects of Christianity you like. However, just be aware that this is of Satan, not of God. Satan distorts the truth to separate us from God and fellowship with one another.
What better way to wrap up this than to use the speech in Job, where God says, "where were you when I .....". Indeed it is in our vanity and pride that we pick and chose what we are to believe or not to believe, then we create new churches - if not entire denominations - because of some miniscule difference of opinion. In the end we need to look backwards to the time of Polycarp, one of John's disciples, to see how disagreement is to be handled.
Polycarp and Anicetus of Rome, meet and had some very heated discussions. My example choice, given the time of year, is when did Jesus rise from the dead and an observance of this be held. Both agreed that it should be remembered but they disagreed as to when. How so? Well, Polycarp and those of the Apostles teaching knew when Jesus was raised from the grave. The widespread of Christianity observed a floating day associated with the Jewish Passover. At the time, Anicetus realized that this was not a point to divide over and conceded to a date. Just to make the point of this newly defined unity, he turned the leading of the sacraments over to Polycarp, to show his respect. Today, we would have a new denomination formed!
Science, although it will be hotly denied, ultimate goal is to prove there is no God and that He is of no relevance. Science is today used to address all which was within the realm of "God" yesterday. It is now used explain everything, and if it can be explained through science - then there really is no God! Right?
Luke 24:13-16, 25-27, 44-47
Jesus said that David wrote through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit (of Psalm 110). So Scripture is inspired by the Holy Spirit, or "God breathed".
The Bible really does not have errors in the details. I have a book from the era of the German "Higher Criticism" detailing for 1,100 pages the falsehoods of the Bible. Yet, beginning with the finding of the Dead Sea Scrolls, the Ninevah Library, etc - the critic is stuck seeing most of their arguments slowly be translated away. We do not need to water down the message of the Scriptures. There are hundreds of ways to argue against the Scriptures and just as many to argue for the details the critics choke on. Point is most of us are not going to be apologists (my degree) but we are going to be witnesses.
The natural man (ie most of mankind) is not going to accept the things of God. He will never accept Scripture or God until the Holy Spirit opens his eyes, ears and heart.
God's truth will supersede the mind of the natural man.
Isaiah 44:14-17 addresses how man makes his idols.
In the end:
Man has always been about making up their own religion. We make up what we will accept and believe. Christians regularly do this with Scripture to create a religion acceptable to them. Pick and chose the aspects of Christianity you like. However, just be aware that this is of Satan, not of God. Satan distorts the truth to separate us from God and fellowship with one another.
What better way to wrap up this than to use the speech in Job, where God says, "where were you when I .....". Indeed it is in our vanity and pride that we pick and chose what we are to believe or not to believe, then we create new churches - if not entire denominations - because of some miniscule difference of opinion. In the end we need to look backwards to the time of Polycarp, one of John's disciples, to see how disagreement is to be handled.
Polycarp and Anicetus of Rome, meet and had some very heated discussions. My example choice, given the time of year, is when did Jesus rise from the dead and an observance of this be held. Both agreed that it should be remembered but they disagreed as to when. How so? Well, Polycarp and those of the Apostles teaching knew when Jesus was raised from the grave. The widespread of Christianity observed a floating day associated with the Jewish Passover. At the time, Anicetus realized that this was not a point to divide over and conceded to a date. Just to make the point of this newly defined unity, he turned the leading of the sacraments over to Polycarp, to show his respect. Today, we would have a new denomination formed!
Friday, February 22, 2013
Reformation
It is not without coincidence, bad timing or that I am evil, that I was removed from youth ministry this year, am now facing personal destruction at this time - the timing is all exquisite and rather obviously by Satan. I can say that all of this is of Satan because of what I was about to do in my Sunday School class, then have continued to work on to lay out in Blog-landia - the call or challenge for a second Reformation within the Christian faith!
Last fall, all of my efforts outside of school were poured into working on how to show the REAL God to the high schooler's of my church. To get them to see that this gruel they are being fed under American Theology ie:the western church, is not the God they need to know! There is a Real God and it took me almost 40 years of being a Christian to get all of the dots connected to see Him. Yesfir, was a product of that new understanding of mine - the disaster which followed - Satan destroying that picture in her mind, heart and spirit - his first victory over me.
Smarter now, and wiser, Niece has also been the product of this new understanding, but with a component of spiritual warfare, Yesfir lacked. Also, the rather substantial differences between the two have aided in Niece's successes.
So, I have been working in my mind this time, without any comment to anyone about building a blog to lay out this introduction to a REAL God and Satan has plagued my progress with injuries and a venom spitting redheaded Gaelic Girl. Of yeah, I have been forced now to waste my time in vain arguments and meetings, seeing again what God showed me back in November 2011 all coming to pass. Sigh.
But, this situation, no less diminishes my understanding of the Real God at all, in fact it only strengthens that understanding - because not only do I see His sovereignty, I see His use of the Spirit to have warned, guided and strengthened me in all ways. I have had the advantage because He prepared me for my life of Job I am about to shortly face. I personally think Job was stronger than I, but at least in my core I will not fall from faith.
Through the latest injuries I have had plenty of time soaking my knee in hot water and time to think, to reflect on what the Church must do, to become relevant once again. Yes, the control of Christianity by the American Theology must be brought to an end if the Church is to turn around and serve the Real God once again.
Christianity must have a Second Reformation!
Or perhaps this is expressed as, Christianity must reform to a Retro form of Christianity, a look backwards to what the Church was, before the corruption of the word Catholic by the Roman Catholic Church, to a time when the Church understood its own definition outside of denominational viewpoints, petty jealousies and outright warfare.
Yes, Christians do shoot their own, and often eat them as well.
So, this is what has filled my idle mind - now what to do with this, as Satan brings down my world about my feet - while all I see is victory.....
Last fall, all of my efforts outside of school were poured into working on how to show the REAL God to the high schooler's of my church. To get them to see that this gruel they are being fed under American Theology ie:the western church, is not the God they need to know! There is a Real God and it took me almost 40 years of being a Christian to get all of the dots connected to see Him. Yesfir, was a product of that new understanding of mine - the disaster which followed - Satan destroying that picture in her mind, heart and spirit - his first victory over me.
Smarter now, and wiser, Niece has also been the product of this new understanding, but with a component of spiritual warfare, Yesfir lacked. Also, the rather substantial differences between the two have aided in Niece's successes.
So, I have been working in my mind this time, without any comment to anyone about building a blog to lay out this introduction to a REAL God and Satan has plagued my progress with injuries and a venom spitting redheaded Gaelic Girl. Of yeah, I have been forced now to waste my time in vain arguments and meetings, seeing again what God showed me back in November 2011 all coming to pass. Sigh.
But, this situation, no less diminishes my understanding of the Real God at all, in fact it only strengthens that understanding - because not only do I see His sovereignty, I see His use of the Spirit to have warned, guided and strengthened me in all ways. I have had the advantage because He prepared me for my life of Job I am about to shortly face. I personally think Job was stronger than I, but at least in my core I will not fall from faith.
Through the latest injuries I have had plenty of time soaking my knee in hot water and time to think, to reflect on what the Church must do, to become relevant once again. Yes, the control of Christianity by the American Theology must be brought to an end if the Church is to turn around and serve the Real God once again.
Christianity must have a Second Reformation!
Or perhaps this is expressed as, Christianity must reform to a Retro form of Christianity, a look backwards to what the Church was, before the corruption of the word Catholic by the Roman Catholic Church, to a time when the Church understood its own definition outside of denominational viewpoints, petty jealousies and outright warfare.
Yes, Christians do shoot their own, and often eat them as well.
So, this is what has filled my idle mind - now what to do with this, as Satan brings down my world about my feet - while all I see is victory.....
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Still In Shock
Not a good morning world, sorry, I am still in shock from Monday's discoveries. I value friendship highly, will put up with tremendous abuse to maintain it and to lose a friend - almost unthinkable. In fact, outside of last year, I have managed to only lose two friends, not through death, in the whole of my life! Each of those was horrific on me.
Last year though, through the best efforts of my estranged new daughter, I managed to lose every one at my church and many in the community. Guess they never really knew me or they would have known not to buy into lies and gossip of hers. The loss of the friends does not hurt as much as a daughter purposefully planting seeds of deceit because her mother convinced her I was evil. That is the real pain in that one.
I also made public a letter to her. It has sat on blogger for a month without her seeing it. And because of what happened Monday I wanted my new friend to get up to speed with the blackness which fills my life - so I took off the block to the world and sent her a link to it. My friend had some very sharp comments, which I highly prize, because it was good to have an independent review of the situation. (If you are interested: Kris did the best with what he had and was burned for it. Plus they added the comment that I am just as likely to be killed by some future boyfriend of Yesfir's, based on her deceit, as I am by Gaelic Girl - both angry drama queens. Something I never considered, since I am innocent of evil here. sigh.....) I know there are female abuse shelters, I wonder if I qualify for a male one ........ ?
So, it seems what I would prefer would take years to occur, may now only take a few weeks - when Kris will get to face a brave new world on his lonesome. Since the kids all hated Yesfir, I see no real reason for them to side with me on this one, so will probably have to get my VW running mighty quick in order to have a roof over my head come fall.
My blown out knee has cost me my educational grant I had been living off of for two years, so now must find some form of employment after surgery and rehab is over. Sigh. Too fast, but it maybe God's time table at play and not mine that has to be considered.
In the end, I have to maintain my sanity, while endeavoring to wear very many hats - in the lives of many others.
On the other hand, prayer changes things. Who knows how things will look by fall. ??????
(interestingly, it maybe that Yesfir has changed her machine or id, since that letter, once made public was visited almost instantly by an id I did not recognize. yeah, i could hunt it down to know for sure but i told her i would not stalk her and i am a man of my word ..... which she managed to forget it seems. And should she be reading this, Yesfir your return is still a continuing prayer item with about 20 now involved daily in the community. Hope you don't mind sharing my VW.....eventually.)
Last year though, through the best efforts of my estranged new daughter, I managed to lose every one at my church and many in the community. Guess they never really knew me or they would have known not to buy into lies and gossip of hers. The loss of the friends does not hurt as much as a daughter purposefully planting seeds of deceit because her mother convinced her I was evil. That is the real pain in that one.
I also made public a letter to her. It has sat on blogger for a month without her seeing it. And because of what happened Monday I wanted my new friend to get up to speed with the blackness which fills my life - so I took off the block to the world and sent her a link to it. My friend had some very sharp comments, which I highly prize, because it was good to have an independent review of the situation. (If you are interested: Kris did the best with what he had and was burned for it. Plus they added the comment that I am just as likely to be killed by some future boyfriend of Yesfir's, based on her deceit, as I am by Gaelic Girl - both angry drama queens. Something I never considered, since I am innocent of evil here. sigh.....) I know there are female abuse shelters, I wonder if I qualify for a male one ........ ?
So, it seems what I would prefer would take years to occur, may now only take a few weeks - when Kris will get to face a brave new world on his lonesome. Since the kids all hated Yesfir, I see no real reason for them to side with me on this one, so will probably have to get my VW running mighty quick in order to have a roof over my head come fall.
My blown out knee has cost me my educational grant I had been living off of for two years, so now must find some form of employment after surgery and rehab is over. Sigh. Too fast, but it maybe God's time table at play and not mine that has to be considered.
In the end, I have to maintain my sanity, while endeavoring to wear very many hats - in the lives of many others.
On the other hand, prayer changes things. Who knows how things will look by fall. ??????
(interestingly, it maybe that Yesfir has changed her machine or id, since that letter, once made public was visited almost instantly by an id I did not recognize. yeah, i could hunt it down to know for sure but i told her i would not stalk her and i am a man of my word ..... which she managed to forget it seems. And should she be reading this, Yesfir your return is still a continuing prayer item with about 20 now involved daily in the community. Hope you don't mind sharing my VW.....eventually.)
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Twenty-One
Yesterday, my son turned 21, the youngest of my adopted children from Russia is now officially an adult!
My greatest memory of joy with him was the day we met, at an orphanage in central northern Russia (psst: Russia is a state of a "country" now know as the CIS, before the Soviet breakup it was still a state of a country known as the USSR). It was a small town, under a mile across, with the world's largest saw mill, about 250,000 women and significantly no men. Yeah, really high death rates for men.
I was standing in the door way of the room he was in, the girl, soon to be his sister was in front of me. He was introduced, leapt over the girl - which threw him into a somersault and he planted both feet in my crouch. I went down hard and tried to save the both of them from being crushed under my weight!.
His early years had been hard in Russia, damaging him psychologically for life, his early years with me were also hard but not near so. Today, he has tremendous potential but he fears trying because he can not accept any failure in his life. Yeah, never could get him past that one.
His girlfriend, now of almost three years, spent most of the party playing with my youngest grand daughter. Real obvious someone's biological clock is going off. Lord, I hope she gets married first, be a break what has become a Plattner tradition it seems!
The party was fun. I forgot my camera, due to the previous therapy session with Gaelic Girl, so if any of the kids post a picture, I will pick a good one for here.
So, it was interesting to note that my job ended as he was leaving high school.
My relationship and friendship with Gaelic Girl ends with him having attained adulthood.
It is sort of as if I was blessed for many years to reach out to these children and then bring them into adulthood. Being no longer relevant, I slowly find myself being pointed in another direction, more rapidly now it seems! This will indeed be an interesting year.....
My greatest memory of joy with him was the day we met, at an orphanage in central northern Russia (psst: Russia is a state of a "country" now know as the CIS, before the Soviet breakup it was still a state of a country known as the USSR). It was a small town, under a mile across, with the world's largest saw mill, about 250,000 women and significantly no men. Yeah, really high death rates for men.
I was standing in the door way of the room he was in, the girl, soon to be his sister was in front of me. He was introduced, leapt over the girl - which threw him into a somersault and he planted both feet in my crouch. I went down hard and tried to save the both of them from being crushed under my weight!.
His early years had been hard in Russia, damaging him psychologically for life, his early years with me were also hard but not near so. Today, he has tremendous potential but he fears trying because he can not accept any failure in his life. Yeah, never could get him past that one.
His girlfriend, now of almost three years, spent most of the party playing with my youngest grand daughter. Real obvious someone's biological clock is going off. Lord, I hope she gets married first, be a break what has become a Plattner tradition it seems!
The party was fun. I forgot my camera, due to the previous therapy session with Gaelic Girl, so if any of the kids post a picture, I will pick a good one for here.
So, it was interesting to note that my job ended as he was leaving high school.
My relationship and friendship with Gaelic Girl ends with him having attained adulthood.
It is sort of as if I was blessed for many years to reach out to these children and then bring them into adulthood. Being no longer relevant, I slowly find myself being pointed in another direction, more rapidly now it seems! This will indeed be an interesting year.....
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Loss of a Friend
Where evil reigns, there can be no innocence. There is only to be found the sounds of the damaged, consumed by the evil which has overcome them.
Yeah, it was quite a holiday yesterday.....
So, Gaelic Girl asked me to go with her to see her therapist, I figured maybe the therapist wanted an outside opinion or observation, boy was I ever wrong!
Straight out of the box it started off with a tag team event, Kris vs Them, a one bout round over Yesfir - which rather quickly degraded.
So, roll the clock back to 2010 and I am not so sure that I ever told the tale of helping a woman by the name of Lucinda. She had cancer, was dying and needed surgery but was too weak for it. So, I took her on and cooked my little heart out making that woman gain weight, start doing some walking and getting her physically, mentally and emotionally able to take the surgery. At the end of six months she had done this and then moved in with her daughter across the country following the surgery. Apparently, I an suspected of having had an affair with this woman by GG!
I can guaranteed you that Kris has never had an affair, ever.
And it continued with GG in full paranoia mode of my list of conquests. I was sickened. Apparently, Kris has never done anything which was not sexually motivated. In GG's mind I am my father. I never would have guessed that GG's mind had degraded to such a level. Nothing in trust, nothing in transparency, nothing in love, nothing in truth, nothing remains of the woman whom has spent decades in the ministry with me. What I thought were aberrational years, that she would get over, instead were the end of the friendship.
The final comment from her I can remember was that she was going to go the pastor to hear what really went on during my last pastoral review.....
I held my calm through all of the attacks which continued until almost midnight, when sleep made my ears shut to the words of acid being poured over me.
Today, with shock, I get to try and figure out how to mitigate life with this new knowledge. You see, it never was about Lucinda or Yesfir, at one point in her rage she even said it was over my financial condition for the past three years. In her mind, that appears to have been God's judgement on me and all of which has followed in her mind only validates my sinful state ......
Yeah, it was quite a holiday yesterday.....
So, Gaelic Girl asked me to go with her to see her therapist, I figured maybe the therapist wanted an outside opinion or observation, boy was I ever wrong!
Straight out of the box it started off with a tag team event, Kris vs Them, a one bout round over Yesfir - which rather quickly degraded.
So, roll the clock back to 2010 and I am not so sure that I ever told the tale of helping a woman by the name of Lucinda. She had cancer, was dying and needed surgery but was too weak for it. So, I took her on and cooked my little heart out making that woman gain weight, start doing some walking and getting her physically, mentally and emotionally able to take the surgery. At the end of six months she had done this and then moved in with her daughter across the country following the surgery. Apparently, I an suspected of having had an affair with this woman by GG!
I can guaranteed you that Kris has never had an affair, ever.
And it continued with GG in full paranoia mode of my list of conquests. I was sickened. Apparently, Kris has never done anything which was not sexually motivated. In GG's mind I am my father. I never would have guessed that GG's mind had degraded to such a level. Nothing in trust, nothing in transparency, nothing in love, nothing in truth, nothing remains of the woman whom has spent decades in the ministry with me. What I thought were aberrational years, that she would get over, instead were the end of the friendship.
The final comment from her I can remember was that she was going to go the pastor to hear what really went on during my last pastoral review.....
I held my calm through all of the attacks which continued until almost midnight, when sleep made my ears shut to the words of acid being poured over me.
Today, with shock, I get to try and figure out how to mitigate life with this new knowledge. You see, it never was about Lucinda or Yesfir, at one point in her rage she even said it was over my financial condition for the past three years. In her mind, that appears to have been God's judgement on me and all of which has followed in her mind only validates my sinful state ......
Friday, February 15, 2013
Good Morning
Yes, I am late in posting today, but I have a good reason!
I was in prayer for much of last night, preparing for this morning, not really knowing if I would be doing something today or not. But, a friend is in need and I needed to be ready - if needed. Turns out I am. :)
So, I had much to pray about in my life, it is confusing, things change faster than I can adapt - and yes, I do realize that this is God drop kicking me into action but I am uncomfortable when pushed. I was told to do this in December but I was unsure and when unsure, I do nothing until the situation is slapped in my face so obviously that there is no questions remaining for me. Then I am pretty sure it was God in the first place!
So, in a few hours, I will be spending a few hours, with a friend - the desired outcome is a change in their life. Know that is a part of the ripples I was talking about the other day. So, we will see how and where this goes. Yes, I am very nervous.
So if you see this and can be praying for this meeting from 11 to 1, US West Coast time, it would be appreciated.
Thanks.
I was in prayer for much of last night, preparing for this morning, not really knowing if I would be doing something today or not. But, a friend is in need and I needed to be ready - if needed. Turns out I am. :)
So, I had much to pray about in my life, it is confusing, things change faster than I can adapt - and yes, I do realize that this is God drop kicking me into action but I am uncomfortable when pushed. I was told to do this in December but I was unsure and when unsure, I do nothing until the situation is slapped in my face so obviously that there is no questions remaining for me. Then I am pretty sure it was God in the first place!
So, in a few hours, I will be spending a few hours, with a friend - the desired outcome is a change in their life. Know that is a part of the ripples I was talking about the other day. So, we will see how and where this goes. Yes, I am very nervous.
So if you see this and can be praying for this meeting from 11 to 1, US West Coast time, it would be appreciated.
Thanks.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Playing With The Future
The future is not fluid, it is fixed. Even though you believe you have choices, you really don't. Your every action will have long ago been known, every correction needed already planned, your task is sitting out there waiting for you. It is what I have talked about several times in the past here.
That future plays upon my mind because I do not understand how paths can become so hard to understand. I have always gone with the idea that you step on a path and you chug on down the road. Even though, at the start of my Christian life I saw, with my own two eyes, someone implode their path and the ripples that caused. But, those of us affected stepped over the ripples and continued on our paths, now separately - yet together. Then, to see my understanding so suddenly shocked by a second time of witnessing this happen again. Only those ripples, this time, may well knock me completely sideways myself. I know God has never let go of me, I am in His hand, but I worry for those affected by ripples they will not understand - just as I could not have 40 years ago.
Today, I tread gently, for I do fear the future, I fear those ripples, and I have seen the destroyed. I have equally seen past this to a tomorrow which does not seem to connect with where I am today. So, as I have mentioned for almost a year now, change is upon me, the path narrows.
Is today a point of that change? I do not know. It is certainly a part, each day forward is another day closer to whatever that future holds. So yes. But, also I would hope to end the ripples to start on that new path, I would have done that eight months ago when God told me, showed me, my path, that my current future was over. It is sort of like a death sentence in a way, to know the past, to see the future, to know that only God can connect the two.
And I have to stay out of the way and yet still play a role.
Well, if it was easy, I would not need Him.....
That future plays upon my mind because I do not understand how paths can become so hard to understand. I have always gone with the idea that you step on a path and you chug on down the road. Even though, at the start of my Christian life I saw, with my own two eyes, someone implode their path and the ripples that caused. But, those of us affected stepped over the ripples and continued on our paths, now separately - yet together. Then, to see my understanding so suddenly shocked by a second time of witnessing this happen again. Only those ripples, this time, may well knock me completely sideways myself. I know God has never let go of me, I am in His hand, but I worry for those affected by ripples they will not understand - just as I could not have 40 years ago.
Today, I tread gently, for I do fear the future, I fear those ripples, and I have seen the destroyed. I have equally seen past this to a tomorrow which does not seem to connect with where I am today. So, as I have mentioned for almost a year now, change is upon me, the path narrows.
Is today a point of that change? I do not know. It is certainly a part, each day forward is another day closer to whatever that future holds. So yes. But, also I would hope to end the ripples to start on that new path, I would have done that eight months ago when God told me, showed me, my path, that my current future was over. It is sort of like a death sentence in a way, to know the past, to see the future, to know that only God can connect the two.
And I have to stay out of the way and yet still play a role.
Well, if it was easy, I would not need Him.....
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Trust Him
Something more than you are aware of is going on. God is always doing more than you or anyone else can see or know. So, what are you supposed to do?
Considering John 12:12-16 - Trust Him.
God has a Plan.
Jesus rides into Jerusalem.
Zechariah prophesied this 500 years earlier!
God knew when the time was right.
So rest easy, God is faithful.
It might be different than you expect.
The people thought their king had arrived at long last!
But, Jesus came to die, not to rule an earthly kingdom.
Remember Lazarius has been raised from the dead that week.
God had shown a sign, Jesus was the one!
Its okay to be clueless.
The disciples were clueless as to what was going on that day!
The people welcoming Jesus into Jerusalem were clueless as well!
Just because we do not understand, does not mean we need to.
Trust God that He knows what He is doing.
Trust now.
Hindsight is only possible later.
Wait for it; then Go!
With God it is all about timing.
Jesus turned down all opportunities for popularity or political appeal.
But, now is the moment.
It is Passover, the perfect time to draw the Rabbis against Him.....
Jesus' last week is a fascinating study in God, His motives, His timings and how you can see victory when all physical evidence points in exactly the opposite direction.
Considering John 12:12-16 - Trust Him.
God has a Plan.
Jesus rides into Jerusalem.
Zechariah prophesied this 500 years earlier!
God knew when the time was right.
So rest easy, God is faithful.
It might be different than you expect.
The people thought their king had arrived at long last!
But, Jesus came to die, not to rule an earthly kingdom.
Remember Lazarius has been raised from the dead that week.
God had shown a sign, Jesus was the one!
Its okay to be clueless.
The disciples were clueless as to what was going on that day!
The people welcoming Jesus into Jerusalem were clueless as well!
Just because we do not understand, does not mean we need to.
Trust God that He knows what He is doing.
Trust now.
Hindsight is only possible later.
Wait for it; then Go!
With God it is all about timing.
Jesus turned down all opportunities for popularity or political appeal.
But, now is the moment.
It is Passover, the perfect time to draw the Rabbis against Him.....
Jesus' last week is a fascinating study in God, His motives, His timings and how you can see victory when all physical evidence points in exactly the opposite direction.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
God's Plan
So, have you ever considered what God's plan for your life is? Probably and if you are like me, quite often! That is because we want to know! We want to know what we are to do, where we are to be, who we are to be! And, more often than not we are met with silence or what ends up in confusion.....
Consider 1 Peter 2:9-10.
9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
10 Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.
First, understand God's Plan.
To show you mercy.
To show you to the world.
For you to witness for Him.
Second, get set and wait upon God.
He will use you when and how He wills, not our will.
He must be in charge of your life.
You must be willing to wait.
You must be faithful in the drought and in the richness of His blessing.
When the going gets tough, God gets going.
Oh yeah, waiting is rough. God is there.
Oh yeah, the road you may have to walk will totally suck. God is there.
Nothing may go as anticipated. God is there.
Our failures maybe exactly what God was looking for as the outcome. God is there.
What are you going to be when you grow up?
Well, if you are yielded to God,
If you are desiring His glory,
If you are counting all as lost in this world,
God has just the place, plan and role for you.....
Consider 1 Peter 2:9-10.
9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
10 Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.
First, understand God's Plan.
To show you mercy.
To show you to the world.
For you to witness for Him.
Second, get set and wait upon God.
He will use you when and how He wills, not our will.
He must be in charge of your life.
You must be willing to wait.
You must be faithful in the drought and in the richness of His blessing.
When the going gets tough, God gets going.
Oh yeah, waiting is rough. God is there.
Oh yeah, the road you may have to walk will totally suck. God is there.
Nothing may go as anticipated. God is there.
Our failures maybe exactly what God was looking for as the outcome. God is there.
What are you going to be when you grow up?
Well, if you are yielded to God,
If you are desiring His glory,
If you are counting all as lost in this world,
God has just the place, plan and role for you.....
Monday, February 11, 2013
On Becoming the Church
I spent several hours today praying and meditating on the idea of the church, the one that is supposed to be serving God and not man's agenda. This is a troubling trend I have been watching in the American church. Yet what is one to do when the Western Church so strongly insists upon theological suicide?
Sanctification: You becoming the Church.
Meditations on John 17:6-19
You are set apart for God.
In verse 6, God gave Jesus the people, the followers, the believers, the faithful - as the basis of the Church.
In verses 6,7,8,16 - we learn that these people are the ones whom "kept my word", "know the truth", "are not of the world".
In John 15:14, these would be called the true friends of Jesus.
Each of us has a future in Jesus, none of us has a past which obstructs us..... Think about that for a while.....
You are set apart from the world.
Did you notice that the word, "world" was used 18 times in this passage we are discussing? Since, this is a prayer of Jesus recorded here, it must have some relevance.
In verses, 13-16, Jesus is praying for those given to him, not for the "world".
In verse, 17:15, we are to be kept from evil.
We live in the world but are to be witnesses to the world.
We must be in, yet remain apart.
Romans 12:2, "Do not be conformed to the world, discern what is good"
You are set apart to God's service.
God's truth is supposed to be our motivation in our service to Him.
Do not limit God!
We are set apart to be the light and the salt to the world. Providers of truth, what makes life worth living!
We are to bear His witness, of whom God is. Others are supposed to see God lived through our lives....
Sanctification: You becoming the Church.
Meditations on John 17:6-19
You are set apart for God.
In verse 6, God gave Jesus the people, the followers, the believers, the faithful - as the basis of the Church.
In verses 6,7,8,16 - we learn that these people are the ones whom "kept my word", "know the truth", "are not of the world".
In John 15:14, these would be called the true friends of Jesus.
Each of us has a future in Jesus, none of us has a past which obstructs us..... Think about that for a while.....
You are set apart from the world.
Did you notice that the word, "world" was used 18 times in this passage we are discussing? Since, this is a prayer of Jesus recorded here, it must have some relevance.
In verses, 13-16, Jesus is praying for those given to him, not for the "world".
In verse, 17:15, we are to be kept from evil.
We live in the world but are to be witnesses to the world.
We must be in, yet remain apart.
Romans 12:2, "Do not be conformed to the world, discern what is good"
You are set apart to God's service.
God's truth is supposed to be our motivation in our service to Him.
Do not limit God!
We are set apart to be the light and the salt to the world. Providers of truth, what makes life worth living!
We are to bear His witness, of whom God is. Others are supposed to see God lived through our lives....
Friday, February 8, 2013
Cotton Candy Girl
So, thought it might be fun to remember how I came about meeting Cotton Candy Girl, whom I stumbled upon on Saturday at an antique show.
I had a pretty tough class about 20 years ago. I was told not to take it as the kids were all prison material, that was the exiting teacher's comment. So, I was intrigued.
By the end of the first class I had won over 45 hard cases to the intrigues of knowing a God no one had ever told them about before. Also being able to speak their language in answering their questions helped a great deal as well.
One of the young men was a punk rocker, albeit a preacher's kid in real rebellion. He wanted to shock me, I shocked him instead - when I told him I was him, 30 years earlier.
After a few months, he brought his girlfriend from school, also a preacher's kid. As normal and sweet as you could ever hope to find in a teenage girl. Then I knew my angry young man, was actually going to do alright and make it, he just needed encouragement and not judgement.
She came for four years, as did he, they were a model couple and I often used them before their marriage for talks on love/hormones/etc. They were proof you can make it through those tough years and have a Christian witness on the other side of them. It was one of those gratifing moments in youth work which are so very rare. (it also did not hurt that they knew of my discernment and were terrified of me!)
Of course, after marriage she adapted his lifestyle, but not his borderline faith. So, yeah, tattoos, piercings and cotton candy hair but with the same sweet spirit which still defines her.
I still love the two of them dearly, I think of him often and it makes me smile to think that God used me to make a difference in the lives of a very young couple. Through his post educational struggles I have continued to encourage him and he has done well in providing for his family, but he finds it impossible to accept the gruel dished out by the local churches (and I have to agree there!). She also is doing well but just wants a church home and is frustrated because he will not settle down in one, even for their kids' sake.
Yeah, time to be encouraging again it seems.
If I love you, you get either unabashed Kris to get in your face or the silent Kris, whom is in prayer for you. So, if you think I have forgotten because you have not heard from me - it is far from the truth.
:)
I had a pretty tough class about 20 years ago. I was told not to take it as the kids were all prison material, that was the exiting teacher's comment. So, I was intrigued.
By the end of the first class I had won over 45 hard cases to the intrigues of knowing a God no one had ever told them about before. Also being able to speak their language in answering their questions helped a great deal as well.
One of the young men was a punk rocker, albeit a preacher's kid in real rebellion. He wanted to shock me, I shocked him instead - when I told him I was him, 30 years earlier.
After a few months, he brought his girlfriend from school, also a preacher's kid. As normal and sweet as you could ever hope to find in a teenage girl. Then I knew my angry young man, was actually going to do alright and make it, he just needed encouragement and not judgement.
She came for four years, as did he, they were a model couple and I often used them before their marriage for talks on love/hormones/etc. They were proof you can make it through those tough years and have a Christian witness on the other side of them. It was one of those gratifing moments in youth work which are so very rare. (it also did not hurt that they knew of my discernment and were terrified of me!)
Of course, after marriage she adapted his lifestyle, but not his borderline faith. So, yeah, tattoos, piercings and cotton candy hair but with the same sweet spirit which still defines her.
I still love the two of them dearly, I think of him often and it makes me smile to think that God used me to make a difference in the lives of a very young couple. Through his post educational struggles I have continued to encourage him and he has done well in providing for his family, but he finds it impossible to accept the gruel dished out by the local churches (and I have to agree there!). She also is doing well but just wants a church home and is frustrated because he will not settle down in one, even for their kids' sake.
Yeah, time to be encouraging again it seems.
If I love you, you get either unabashed Kris to get in your face or the silent Kris, whom is in prayer for you. So, if you think I have forgotten because you have not heard from me - it is far from the truth.
:)
Thursday, February 7, 2013
I Am Reminded
What a fascinating day Wednesday was. Niece had about 2,000 questions concerning her new life and walk in God and yeah, it was great for me to even remind myself of a few things. So, no this is not reflective of Niece, but of my examples I used to talk her through her questions.
We all have a past without God, so given that, how did that affect where I should be with God?
Well, if you were 12 when you discovered the real God, then you will have a rich full life walking in His Spirit if you are able to. If you were 40, well, you will still be walking in His Spirit and still doing what He wants. Difference? We place a value on that lost time, God does not seem to hold that against us. By extention:
I have made a real mess of things and now He hates me.
Show me the one whom does not fail, and I will show you a liar, with apologies to Milton Berle.
We all fail, we can thank that darn human nature for those failures, they may grow rare across time but they will be there until we are perfected through death.
So, you decided to take charge of your life and live it without His input? Welcome to humanity. But, through constant confession and acceptance of his forgiveness, without condition, we continue to move forward in our walk with Him. The trick is eventually being able to let go and allow Him to lead..... It is called walking by faith and not very popular anymore.
So, I walked my walk and did not listen and now God will not use me.
Contrary to popular belief, God knew your failures long before you were born. He knew what it would take to bring you to Him in real repentance, He knew what it would take for you to turn it ALL over to Him, He knew everything - but He allows you the freedom to really mess up and then welcome you back and gently move you forward.
I like to compare God to sort of like a GPS system. You are told your path, you deviate and it recalculates what it will take to get you where you need to be. Mess up again? Recalculate again. God, is very flexible, His goal is to assist you in getting you where He needs you. And that may very well be over a rough road, without which you might have been of no use what so ever!
No He can not use me now!
I hear this one a great deal! And the answer is, "Really?".
You are a teenage expectant mother, and think your testimony will have no impact on other teenagers? I have seen an entire church brought to its knees by a pregnant teen, whom took over the stage to confess, apologize and ask forgiveness. Think that had an impact? Wow! Conversely, she could have started a ministry reaching out to other teens, helping them cope as she had to learn how to do. Two approaches, both valid.
I want the "forget it all" pill.
Sorry, if it existed, I would taken that one! We have our memories, we have our past, we are stuck with them. But, the point is not be ruled by those memories or that past. With time, they can grow dim, perhaps even forgot, but it is amazing how little it takes to flash them once again before our mind's eye. Return of the condemnation, return of the self loathing, return of the need for Him. So, I am not going to be defined by the horrible and incredibly violent person I was before I became a Christian. Equally, I will never forget what I have done to others - I want to remember their faces and their pain - not to let it define me but to always remind myself what I am capable of apart from God. Equally, I want to remember the freedom in the eyes of each person I have led to the Lord.....
So, I am reminded.
We all fail.
We all have the ability to agree with God concerning that failure.
We all have the ability to turn from our past and walk a new direction.
We all have the ability to be anything our God desires of us: Free, Bond or Slave - His choice.
We all have the ability to bring either shame or glory to His name.
We all have the ability to serve one another in love, apathy or hate.
We all have the ability to walk His path, with His assistance.
We all have the ability to become nothing for His sake.
We all have the ability to wear the crown of the Martyr or the Conqueror.
We will all stand before Him one day, show Him what we did with what we got.....
My mentors, a lifetime ago: Bill Bright, (i forgot your first name) Innes, Jess Moody, Francis Schaeffer, Dale Swanson - all invested heavily in the worse scum of the earth (me). What they showed me was not a philosophical God bound up in books, but a living breathing God - whom is there, whom is all powerful, whom is very, very real.
And it has taken the beating I have endured across the past 18 months for me to say, "ENOUGH!", and take a stand once again for the real God, not the one of this age. Yeah, not real popular with my family now, not real popular with my church, etc. But, I was not called to be popular - I was called to be a witness for Him. Sure, I have fouled up with regularity, but I am not going to let those failures define, it is over. I have a walk to walk, a path to be on, and I feel God's hand pushing ever so gently in directions that I fear but I recognize it - I just have no idea how to respond currently.
Other than on my good knee.....
We all have a past without God, so given that, how did that affect where I should be with God?
Well, if you were 12 when you discovered the real God, then you will have a rich full life walking in His Spirit if you are able to. If you were 40, well, you will still be walking in His Spirit and still doing what He wants. Difference? We place a value on that lost time, God does not seem to hold that against us. By extention:
I have made a real mess of things and now He hates me.
Show me the one whom does not fail, and I will show you a liar, with apologies to Milton Berle.
We all fail, we can thank that darn human nature for those failures, they may grow rare across time but they will be there until we are perfected through death.
So, you decided to take charge of your life and live it without His input? Welcome to humanity. But, through constant confession and acceptance of his forgiveness, without condition, we continue to move forward in our walk with Him. The trick is eventually being able to let go and allow Him to lead..... It is called walking by faith and not very popular anymore.
So, I walked my walk and did not listen and now God will not use me.
Contrary to popular belief, God knew your failures long before you were born. He knew what it would take to bring you to Him in real repentance, He knew what it would take for you to turn it ALL over to Him, He knew everything - but He allows you the freedom to really mess up and then welcome you back and gently move you forward.
I like to compare God to sort of like a GPS system. You are told your path, you deviate and it recalculates what it will take to get you where you need to be. Mess up again? Recalculate again. God, is very flexible, His goal is to assist you in getting you where He needs you. And that may very well be over a rough road, without which you might have been of no use what so ever!
No He can not use me now!
I hear this one a great deal! And the answer is, "Really?".
You are a teenage expectant mother, and think your testimony will have no impact on other teenagers? I have seen an entire church brought to its knees by a pregnant teen, whom took over the stage to confess, apologize and ask forgiveness. Think that had an impact? Wow! Conversely, she could have started a ministry reaching out to other teens, helping them cope as she had to learn how to do. Two approaches, both valid.
I want the "forget it all" pill.
Sorry, if it existed, I would taken that one! We have our memories, we have our past, we are stuck with them. But, the point is not be ruled by those memories or that past. With time, they can grow dim, perhaps even forgot, but it is amazing how little it takes to flash them once again before our mind's eye. Return of the condemnation, return of the self loathing, return of the need for Him. So, I am not going to be defined by the horrible and incredibly violent person I was before I became a Christian. Equally, I will never forget what I have done to others - I want to remember their faces and their pain - not to let it define me but to always remind myself what I am capable of apart from God. Equally, I want to remember the freedom in the eyes of each person I have led to the Lord.....
So, I am reminded.
We all fail.
We all have the ability to agree with God concerning that failure.
We all have the ability to turn from our past and walk a new direction.
We all have the ability to be anything our God desires of us: Free, Bond or Slave - His choice.
We all have the ability to bring either shame or glory to His name.
We all have the ability to serve one another in love, apathy or hate.
We all have the ability to walk His path, with His assistance.
We all have the ability to become nothing for His sake.
We all have the ability to wear the crown of the Martyr or the Conqueror.
We will all stand before Him one day, show Him what we did with what we got.....
My mentors, a lifetime ago: Bill Bright, (i forgot your first name) Innes, Jess Moody, Francis Schaeffer, Dale Swanson - all invested heavily in the worse scum of the earth (me). What they showed me was not a philosophical God bound up in books, but a living breathing God - whom is there, whom is all powerful, whom is very, very real.
And it has taken the beating I have endured across the past 18 months for me to say, "ENOUGH!", and take a stand once again for the real God, not the one of this age. Yeah, not real popular with my family now, not real popular with my church, etc. But, I was not called to be popular - I was called to be a witness for Him. Sure, I have fouled up with regularity, but I am not going to let those failures define, it is over. I have a walk to walk, a path to be on, and I feel God's hand pushing ever so gently in directions that I fear but I recognize it - I just have no idea how to respond currently.
Other than on my good knee.....
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
The Gospel in 4 Verses
If you would like a solid, short passage on the Gospel of Jesus: John 17:1-5
2. Jesus has all authority.
3. Jesus gives eternal life.
4. Jesus took our place in death (this would be in payment for the Abrahamic Covenant.....).
5. Jesus is God.
Yup, gotta love that John, really knows how to keep it short and sweet!
:)
2. Jesus has all authority.
3. Jesus gives eternal life.
4. Jesus took our place in death (this would be in payment for the Abrahamic Covenant.....).
5. Jesus is God.
Yup, gotta love that John, really knows how to keep it short and sweet!
:)
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Hansel and Gretel
Here is a money saving tip for you: do not go to see this film!
I had hoped for something campy, you know really horrible, a Kris must own movie! What I got was horrible alright but it is not an owner film in the least!
So, Niece and I went for the viewing - but she had to keep burying her face in my armpit, yeah it was that disgusting at times. I offered to leave for her sake several times but she wanted to stick it out. Really, it would have been fine with me to walk on that one. Finally I had to decide she just like Old Spice deodorant.....
Gore is all this film has to offer and if you are into entrals hanging off the shrubbery, it is probably the film for you.
A big NO to this one.....
I had hoped for something campy, you know really horrible, a Kris must own movie! What I got was horrible alright but it is not an owner film in the least!
So, Niece and I went for the viewing - but she had to keep burying her face in my armpit, yeah it was that disgusting at times. I offered to leave for her sake several times but she wanted to stick it out. Really, it would have been fine with me to walk on that one. Finally I had to decide she just like Old Spice deodorant.....
Gore is all this film has to offer and if you are into entrals hanging off the shrubbery, it is probably the film for you.
A big NO to this one.....
Monday, February 4, 2013
Blast From The Past
I was working an antique show again this weekend, long hard hours but it helps keep beans on the table.....
So, I am in this building about 4 acres in size and there are some 5,000 shoppers plus several hundred booths set up - so a miserable pain to traverse. My booth is of course in the rear of the building and the snack bar in the front, so I get to wade through the crowd to get a lemonade and then again back. But, having battled the crowd to the snack bar, I skirt the edge of the show along the side hoping to make a faster return to my booth. It was not to be.
I was about half way back when my mind told me there was something odd - a face in the wrong place, someone I knew from the past, from another place and time, so i scanned the crowd around me to see what my mind had already. And there she was, one of "my girls" from twenty years ago.....
Holy Moley! She was not hard to miss - cotton candy colored hair with a blue touch, piercings, tatoos, pushing a baby stroller and her bright blue eyes met mine and she was in my arms faster than I could remember her name! Yeah, she was always in my top five. Not because she was troubled, or physically attractive to me, but because she possessed an honest desire to know and serve God.
So for the next 90 minutes we talked about life, the universe, her marriage and why on earth was she here! Seems husband got a job at MicroSquish, they lives about 60 miles away, she was bored and very much in need of prayer. With God there are no coincidences, He brought us together because we both need prayer in all aspects of life. He is so cool that way. It was an awesome reunion.
Later I saw her mother and talked with her for a while as well, she is over visiting and seeing the grandchildren. Seems her life is greatly in need of prayer as well. Lovely woman, she did well with her daughter.....
But, that just a taste of the beauty of this day and I will share more through the week as we go along.
:)
So, I am in this building about 4 acres in size and there are some 5,000 shoppers plus several hundred booths set up - so a miserable pain to traverse. My booth is of course in the rear of the building and the snack bar in the front, so I get to wade through the crowd to get a lemonade and then again back. But, having battled the crowd to the snack bar, I skirt the edge of the show along the side hoping to make a faster return to my booth. It was not to be.
I was about half way back when my mind told me there was something odd - a face in the wrong place, someone I knew from the past, from another place and time, so i scanned the crowd around me to see what my mind had already. And there she was, one of "my girls" from twenty years ago.....
Holy Moley! She was not hard to miss - cotton candy colored hair with a blue touch, piercings, tatoos, pushing a baby stroller and her bright blue eyes met mine and she was in my arms faster than I could remember her name! Yeah, she was always in my top five. Not because she was troubled, or physically attractive to me, but because she possessed an honest desire to know and serve God.
So for the next 90 minutes we talked about life, the universe, her marriage and why on earth was she here! Seems husband got a job at MicroSquish, they lives about 60 miles away, she was bored and very much in need of prayer. With God there are no coincidences, He brought us together because we both need prayer in all aspects of life. He is so cool that way. It was an awesome reunion.
Later I saw her mother and talked with her for a while as well, she is over visiting and seeing the grandchildren. Seems her life is greatly in need of prayer as well. Lovely woman, she did well with her daughter.....
But, that just a taste of the beauty of this day and I will share more through the week as we go along.
:)
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Musical Saturday Morning
Yes, it is that time again, the first Saturday of the month and I have to admit this offering is not from the 1980's at all but it is very appropriate to my life at this moment in time.
To literally stumble across a new friend a month ago, found where least expected, and to learn that you are strangely able to relate in a way not foreseen ..... That you each possesses what the other needs, so very, very, very strange. If you think of Anne of Green Gables, the Canadian version of course, I well remember Anne making reference to having found her "kindred spirit". How I choked at that one, at the time!
And yet, it would seem Kris has indeed found a kindred spirit and one willing to help me on a journey that I never could have imagined. (see yesterday's post for the explanation).
So to that kindred spirit, I dedicate this song:
http://youtu.be/4yx9s31eoKQ
Okay, okay, it is from 1999 and those whom do not really know me: like most of this audience and my estranged Daughter, will completely take a wrong interpretation of what this song says in context of me and my friend. However, if you can understand yesterday's post, you will realize I am not speaking of romance, I am speaking of Kris learning about humanity, through the most humbling of means. Would that my friend allow their-self to be identified because I would give them a Golden Gummi for what they have gone through over the past month!
To literally stumble across a new friend a month ago, found where least expected, and to learn that you are strangely able to relate in a way not foreseen ..... That you each possesses what the other needs, so very, very, very strange. If you think of Anne of Green Gables, the Canadian version of course, I well remember Anne making reference to having found her "kindred spirit". How I choked at that one, at the time!
And yet, it would seem Kris has indeed found a kindred spirit and one willing to help me on a journey that I never could have imagined. (see yesterday's post for the explanation).
So to that kindred spirit, I dedicate this song:
http://youtu.be/4yx9s31eoKQ
Okay, okay, it is from 1999 and those whom do not really know me: like most of this audience and my estranged Daughter, will completely take a wrong interpretation of what this song says in context of me and my friend. However, if you can understand yesterday's post, you will realize I am not speaking of romance, I am speaking of Kris learning about humanity, through the most humbling of means. Would that my friend allow their-self to be identified because I would give them a Golden Gummi for what they have gone through over the past month!
Friday, February 1, 2013
Normal, One Day?
Since last May, I have gone from no emotion ever, to God seeing fit to give me one - a miracle no one could ever have envisioned to have occurred. It took me three weeks to master it and lock it up tight. But, God can be very, very persistent - especially when there might have been a reason for it in the first place.
There were momentary escapes by said emotion until the end of December, when as misfortune would have it, God saw fit to block my ability to cage or ignore it any longer - I was going to have to learn to deal with it. It was set free, only now there was a noted change - no longer raw, no longer overcoming, it had mellowed, matured, it was warm, and personally very frightening.
I find now that I am like a computer with twin operating systems. One is the old me - inhuman in my detachment. The other this mellow, feeling creature. And I have the ability to over ride it, if need be. To switch on, to switch off at will but never to abandon for long it seems .....
I sit at one month of pseudo-normalcy. I can understand now where once Gaelic Girl was in her emotions, I never could have known, thirty-five years too late it seems. It has shown me the real problem with my self-estranged sister in the Lord. I never could have understood. It took my Niece to help me to know, to understand and then see / understand / experience compassion. A few extremely horrible days in there. Emotion sucks. Yet, were it not for it, I would never have learned that there was someone whom trusted me far more than I could know. Emotion ..... a quandary.
And I wonder, will I one day be normal? Is that blooming emotion going to one day fully control me? Will I finally be human one day? And to what purpose? Will this be a blessing or a curse? Am I going to end up a liberal? Will it be something that is required for me to be able to do some task in the future? How can having an emotion make whatever lay ahead easier? I trust cold - calculating Kris, it is the emotional one I see as being less effective and far more dangerous to me personally.....
Lots of questions, no answers, maybe ten years from now in hindsight I will know the whys and wherefores of this. But not today.
To my Niece and dear friend, thank you - for your patient willingness to help me see, to learn, to understand. You are awesome. You did not have to, but you chose to, very much I am blessed.
And this in the midst of continuing to see all eroded away from me. In my mind's eye I see a Kris, left with nothing that anyone would call precious, my very name a curse to those whom once knew me, but even if alone - healed through a miracle, blessed by God and an unknown future calling me away to paint far away places and ..... ?
There were momentary escapes by said emotion until the end of December, when as misfortune would have it, God saw fit to block my ability to cage or ignore it any longer - I was going to have to learn to deal with it. It was set free, only now there was a noted change - no longer raw, no longer overcoming, it had mellowed, matured, it was warm, and personally very frightening.
I find now that I am like a computer with twin operating systems. One is the old me - inhuman in my detachment. The other this mellow, feeling creature. And I have the ability to over ride it, if need be. To switch on, to switch off at will but never to abandon for long it seems .....
I sit at one month of pseudo-normalcy. I can understand now where once Gaelic Girl was in her emotions, I never could have known, thirty-five years too late it seems. It has shown me the real problem with my self-estranged sister in the Lord. I never could have understood. It took my Niece to help me to know, to understand and then see / understand / experience compassion. A few extremely horrible days in there. Emotion sucks. Yet, were it not for it, I would never have learned that there was someone whom trusted me far more than I could know. Emotion ..... a quandary.
And I wonder, will I one day be normal? Is that blooming emotion going to one day fully control me? Will I finally be human one day? And to what purpose? Will this be a blessing or a curse? Am I going to end up a liberal? Will it be something that is required for me to be able to do some task in the future? How can having an emotion make whatever lay ahead easier? I trust cold - calculating Kris, it is the emotional one I see as being less effective and far more dangerous to me personally.....
Lots of questions, no answers, maybe ten years from now in hindsight I will know the whys and wherefores of this. But not today.
To my Niece and dear friend, thank you - for your patient willingness to help me see, to learn, to understand. You are awesome. You did not have to, but you chose to, very much I am blessed.
And this in the midst of continuing to see all eroded away from me. In my mind's eye I see a Kris, left with nothing that anyone would call precious, my very name a curse to those whom once knew me, but even if alone - healed through a miracle, blessed by God and an unknown future calling me away to paint far away places and ..... ?
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