Family Mattters

This weekend was might hard on me.  My daughter continues to vex me and Satan continues to use every opportunity to hammer me.  This time it was on FaceBook.

Apparently she decided to unblock me.  Yeah, back in August 2012 she completely cut me out of her life, unfriended me, blocked me, changed emails, changed IDs, etc.  Everything she could do to seperate herself from me.

Why even bother to mention this?  Well, I do not know what to do!  The father in me would run to her, or at least send a message and ask if this was an accident or a first step.  This Kris, the one she never knew, whom was born December 29, 2012 - and it was a painful birth!, is completely out of his element here.  I have no idea how to begin to address.

I thought to call her mom, but she changed her number and also unfriended me.  Yeah, it was a power struggle she won - she kept her daughter's affection at the cost of killing me.  So, if daughter took this step, without her mother's knowledge, there is no reason to get her deep with my sister I long to have as my friend again.

And, I promised not to stalk my daughter, and being a man of my word, I will not.  But, if she wants to be in contact, I wish she would.  If she thinks I hate her for what she did - I do not.  If she thinks I could no longer love her, she would be wrong, she is my daughter until the day I die.  She simply wastes my life, each day she has been gone.

Then again, I know my body is terribly weakened, Two hospitalizations, 164 heart attacks as of last April, one heart surgery that has not cured the problem.  No I know my days are numbered every time I stress about something, every time I am surprised, every time I see a spider ...  And I would have her back while I can still make a difference in her life and show her what she never understood.

Yeah, prayer is needed for her, for me, for her mother, for my niece - whom is what keeps me safe, sane and learning how to be human...