Marriage, Divorce, Remarriage

One of the most annoying features I have found at my current church is they have never met a marriage they have not wanted to perform.  I have to wonder why and so have been thinking on marriage, divorce, remarriage, etc.

In the world I grew up in, life was so simple on such matters.  Engagement was taken very seriously.  No one would have even dreamt of asking someone to marry them unless they had the father/uncle/brother/whomever was still alive's permission, a real career, some money stashed away and a pretty strong relationship - that would be 3 to 5 years history already!  For all intents and purposes you were married at that point.  And God help you if you decided to "play" house a little early!  So much for the old myth of the 'loose' European.

Once you were married, that was it.   

Divorce was something those disgusting Americans did on their bases and in the big cities.  You wanted a local divorce, you had better have some hard and fast evidence as to why - and oh by the way, there were almost no conditions they were available under.  Cheating spouse?  Husband will probably kill the wife's lover.  Husband is cheating?  Expect the wife's male relatives to visit the bog one night with him.  Widows are allowed to remarry after all.  There was little sympathy for adulterers.....

Outside of the possible bloodbath that my medieval village lived with, in so far as marriage was concerned, it was pretty close to Biblical.  And quite a few Americans tried to get married in our little church - it was very charming but remarriage was never an option, which is what most were to have been.

Yes, once divorced you had one alternative as far as marriage was concerned - settle your difference and remarry your wife!  How the locals would howl at the reaction of the Americans when they heard that one!  Many a pint was hoisted over tales from the recorder's office......

To stick with a strictly Biblical view of this subject - one is left with a very unpopular belief set when compared with that of the world's view today on marriage, divorce and remarriage.

Marriage was strictly controlled.  You married within your faith, to an approved of spouse, and it was forever.  Bad parental choices and you could suffer that one forever.....  You chose to break tradition and do your own thing?  Well, you were excluded from the family, your friends and your religion.  A funeral would be held for you.  Yeah, God is pretty narrow minded on the subject of marriage - something this generation has forgotten.

Divorce is still a poorly understood one, however the Bible is quite clear on the subject:

• The female was not a virgin on the wedding night.  That is all there ever was.
• We are told that God allowed further divorce due to the hardness of man's heart - and I expect that to be included in the only allowable situation above as well.....  Are you listening guys?

Remarriage was possible under a few conditions:

• A spouse dies. 
• The other spouse's abandonment was the cause of divorce; the other spouse then either remarries or states in writing there is not a rats chance of you ever reconciling with them.
• Your original spouse decides to take you back and has not remarried or shacked up since.

Yet in our generation marriage means very little, no different than just shacking up except you get to have children given the father's name without a whole pile of paperwork.  What a maddening culture our prior generations and Hollywood have left us with!

Just as marriage is openly mocked by most today, so is divorce and remarriage.  You can get a divorce because "they have morning breath".  And you are free to roam off and marry someone far more enticing.....

I should mention that my father married eight times, my American grandmother 5 times.  I am intimately associated with divorce and remarriage and the cost borne by the following generations.

So you are not going to like where this is going.