High in the hills surrounding the Romande wheat fields, the Swiss military has begun their culling program of the wild hare population, due to continued crop damage. Initially, the program went well until the troops moved into a remote alpine valley on the night of December 5th. Of the 23 soldiers working the valley, 19 were injured with 12 requiring field medical attention. Three have since been moved to Geneva’s trauma center.
In what must have been an example of life imitating art, an army spokesman has placed blame for the injuries on “…what is appearing to be a new species of rabbit … certainly unlike any encountered before. The injuries appear to have been all bite related.”
The spokesman was quoted as saying, “This new rabbit appears to be territorial in nature and quite unlike normal rabbits in aggressiveness.”
When questioned concerning the condition of the soldiers, the spokesman stated, “Rabbits are not carnivorous, therefore no soldiers were eaten. However, many soldiers suffered numerous bites to their lower legs and arms. Three of the snipers were severally injured due to their prone positions at the time of the attacks.”
This news of course has been met with a great deal of humor as well as scoffing in the opinion pages and on SuisseCom (our internet provider).
By this morning, however, one of these rabbits had been caught alive – apparently having bitten into a morphine pack in a medic’s bag. Well, better that than the medic’s hiney, if you ask me!
So far the rabbit, outside of its striped coat, the hair appears to be something akin to an otters in that it has an extraordinarily thick coat, which is somewhat waterproof and slight webbing to the rear feet, allowing for this breed to swim short distances across alpine streams. Also unlike rabbits, these do use some form of verbal communication – making little grunts and clicking noises. All rabbits make squealing sounds so that is not unique to them.
This is so cool! I am excitedly looking forward to learning more about these and I definitively have got to get me one! “Hey kids, anyone want to take the rabbit for a walk?”
Heh, heh, heh, heh………
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