Fully Aware

God had warned me what last week was going to be like, so I pre-wrote the posts for the entire week.  I knew I would be unable gather my thoughts.  I had a pretty good idea what was coming and prepared to be betrayed - there was just no way I could have suspected how it was to play out and that poor battered single emotion took the hit like a bullet to the brain.  Oh God last week was bad.  And I so need my friend but alas that was not to be possible.

So pastor, bless his dear heart, decided to tell Gaelic Girl the substance of my 5th pastoral review.  Thank you for the integrity you have shown there guy!  No he still does not believe the tale but he thought it important she know what the gossip was.  As I have commented before, man's logic - not God's wisdom again played out by him.  Interestingly, his story ended far different than reality was.  So different that I had to wonder if he had become confused or if the head of the elder board decided to ad lib my rebuke for insisting on continuing to pray for my estranged daughter.  Very interesting and honestly, I don't care anymore.

Given ammunition, GG was all over me for 3 days straight, when she was home.  It was ugly, uglier than anything I have ever experienced in my life and God would not allow my walls up.  Apparently, Kris had to learn about emotional pain.

Her complaints are like shaving cream, but I was right, this all dated back to the fall of 2009 and winter of 2010, when Lucinda was staying with me.  She was angered that I would allow Lucinda to help clean in the kitchen, prepare meals, etc.  To me it was not like anyone else was going to help!  And help is always appreciated.  But, GG can not understand that.  New Daughter doing much the same in the winter of 2012 was the end of all to GG.  The final betrayal.  The end of trust.

My fault was not understanding and already knowing she was leaving our life of ministry we had shared for 35 years.  And so on February 24th I can mark the notch of the end of the longest friendship in my life.  It is with great remorse for I had hoped that she would return to whom she was, but that is not reality it seems.  I also got uninvited to her next therapy session today.  To bad, I could given that lady an earful!

And so, I was forced to implement what I had promised my new friend I would do, I just did not understand how soon it would be!  I expected months, I got one week.  So, left footed, I have begun the transition to a new path, as the old one grows narrow and comes to an end.  And that new path - I really know nothing of.  Starting afresh is so very, very odd.

I no longer know if my daughter's return is on this path, that trip to the southern hemisphere I actually relish, or ?????  I know nothing at this point other than I am going to need time to heal. 

Your prayers are sought.