Some Years

You know some years it just is not worth getting out of bed.  You can almost set a clock to this years ability to blind side me, every 21 days.  Yeah, like clockwork, every 21 days something horrible has been happening.

Latest up, my son exploding.  Yet again.

Seems it was just last November I had written about his last explosion over how horrible a father I am.  Once again reciting off a huge sin list, the majority of which never occurred or was committed by his late father.  But, be that as it may, it always breaks my heart to hear him rail against me.  Maybe I really should have taken him across the border into Germany for that sound beating, which is completely legal there!  But, I did not have the heart of my father within me.....  But, he would at least have respect for me, if I had....

This time I decided to use some ideas I from the Borders series of books and when he roared about how much he hates me, I simply replied "I don't care whether you hate me or not, my job is to deliver an adult man into life..."

Of course talk about throwing gasoline on a fire!  The only thing which saved me was I had placed a large chair between us, so the lion was caged.

I have often thought on whether I could control my response if he physically attacked me.  I am not real concern over his injuring me - he certainly could.  I mostly worry about any self-defensive action on my part that I would be unable to stop before he was flying through the air.  At twice his weight and almost a foot taller, yeah, he loses.  And yes I am very concerned over this so now trying to avoid him altogether as much as possible.

So your prayers are genuinely sought for his growing up in mind and in spirit.

Yeah, some years.....