Bone Density

Given I had broken so many bones in 2009 and my new doctor's suspicion that this maybe a side effect from the meds I was on in 2008 - trying to save my ability to breathe, I went in for a bone density test.

At one point in time I was 6'4.5", following an auto accident I dropped to 6'3.5" and following spinal surgery a few years back - 6'3".  So not a whole lot of change in height, but I went along with the doctor's idea, just in case I was losing bone density.

It was a fairly pain free process.  Lay on a table while a scanner arm passes over you.  Took about 20 minutes.  So cool.

The machine makes a pass over me.  "So, how much American Indian are you?"

Odd question.  Now the US Government says that not only was I born an East German citizen but that I am also 1/4 Umatilla Indian.  Don't ask me.  I have never been to East Germany, when it existed, ever.  And as far as we know, my father walked through what was to become East Germany before the war was over.  Go figure.  By the same token, my mothers' father was born on the Umatilla Reservation in eastern Oregon, hence he was Indian.  Never mind that his family was from Manchester, England.  The government always knows best I am told.

"Interesting......"  The operator replied thoughtfully.  I wondered what the heck could go wrong next in my life.  What was that machine saying about me?

Well, paranoia aside, I have wonderful bones.  My bones are so perfect that the machine's number range had to be adjusted.  Apparently, white middle age men do not have numbers as high as I produced.  In fact, neither do children.  I set a record, I guess.

"Well, given these kinds of readings, you have no bone problems what so ever!  The only explaination must be you truly are the King of Klutz....."  She bowed deeply, "Your Highness".

I had to laugh, no one had called me that since my investiture three decades ago.  Of course, that a $5.00 bill will get me a coffee at Starbucks, if I went to town.....