Looking Back

I was roaming around my computer this morning – half thinking about what will I teach this fall in Sunday school and the other 1% of my braining wondering what to post this morning as I wait for my flight.

I stumbled upon this mis-filed posting from December 31, 2006.  And I realized how appropriate it is.  I hope you keep a spiritual journal of some kind.  It is so uplifting to look back and remember how faithful our God is – it this case personally to me.

As background, 2006 was probably the worse year of my life.  My oldest daughter got really angry and had stormed out of the house because I objected with her dating a 25 year man at 17.  My middle daughter attempted 3 suicides and then ran away from home with a very troubled young man no one had ever heard of before.  So you will better understand the posting.  Look at the end to see other comments……

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A Question of Faith

I will admit this past month was a real low point for me in over three years.  Between work, family and church politics – life has not been easy.  And, as I approached the holiday season my faith was severely shaken by the antics of my children.  Yes, I understand they have wills and choices to make, but somehow I had become complacent they would be protected even from themselves.  Best laid wishes of a father.

Last night, as I lay sleepless yet again, I thought on this.  I was reminded of the many miracles I have witnessed in my walk as a Christian.  How during some of my darkest hours – for instance - behind the Iron Curtain, God was there protecting me, leading me and showing His might against those whom would oppose His Word and its spread.

In essence, which is harder for God: to keep me out of the clutches of the GDU or to wrest my children from the poison of culture?  To three times remove me from KGB holding or protect my daughter no matter the means?  To heal me of cancer or to give me what I need day to day to make it through?

Obviously, nothing is any harder for God than the next; the question is how hard we make it for God to work around us.  I may want to slam the lid down on troubled daughter – but in my spirit I know this will only lead to further rebellion.  She needs to be lovingly drawn back to Him, not alienated into the arms of culture.  This is going to be hard!

So here is to 2007, Kris letting go, Kris once again on crutches to walk by faith, Kris thankful for those whom God has provided, Kris … yah, getting his act together.

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2007 was the year which saw oldest daughter drawn back into the family!  It also saw her marriage to the guy and delivery of my first grandchild – though is learning the pain of being unequally yoked.  Middle daughter was able to stabilize her life through a combination of medication and counseling – a little still on the edge of reality at times.  Son managed to run amok with several other youth and learned that sometimes you have to pay a very heavy price when you violate your witness with the world.  Youngest daughter suddenly blossomed and matured.  As for the guy I had never heard of before – he accepted salvation in April, I baptized him in June and he spent a solid year in study with me, growing into one outstanding young Christian man.

Looking back, God has been very active in our lives.  Healing, comforting, drawing back, bringing to salvation and teaching lessons.  Although 2006 and 2007 were ever so painful – thank you Lord for seeing my little family through it, in ways I could have never imagine and especially for KJ’s salvation…