Tommy Nelson, if you have never heard of him – then you can join me in the clueless crowd. But, he is a successful American pastor whom pushed himself too hard until he reached the point of breaking down.
So, I am driving down the road listening to the radio on Tuesday and Focus on the Family comes on. Well, at least better than the talking heads speaking of what they know not on the other stations – so I did not turn it off. Yeah, I have a bit of a problem with the concept of Christian and psychologist being used in the same breath. And luck for me I did listen.
Tommy Nelson starts talking about his journey through a breakdown. Whatever. But suddenly he starts talking about me and what I went through in 2006 through 2007, only for me this was compounded by horrible management in the first half of this year.
Could I have burned myself out? I remembering commenting to someone that I felt like I had burned out but having never experienced this, it is hard to act when you really do not know. So you treat the symptom not the cause.
I thought hard on this all day long and decided to do what I could. Instead of my regular 11 or 12:00 bedtime, I turned in at 9:00 and slept like a baby for 10 hours – without meds! A first in two years.
Instead of worrying about what I would eat when, I ate when I wanted to. Ok, snacked might be better wording. By the second day I felt I had eaten healthier, better and my body was less painful.
I still have a long ways to go if I give credit to the information Pastor Nelson gave, but it was freeing to finally have an idea as to what has brought me to where I am today.
The first broadcast was probably the best, the second sort of support what I had heard in the first one and the third part is questions and answers from an audience of college age kids.
Depression: Encouragement for the Journey, Part 1
Depression: Encouragement for the Journey, Part 2
Depression: Encouragement for the Journey, Part 3
Robin’s award to me was quite an emotional boost – timed exactly when I needed it – wonder how that came about…… PTL.
And about 11:00 at night I got a call from the lady whom runs my church’s education programs and asked if I would please come back and take over the teenage youth program – in September. So does that mean that someone actually read my post of frustration with my Church or God intervened? No matter the reason, it looks like in two weeks I will be back to my teaching of youth again.
And all of this has brought such joy in my life……!!!!!!!!
As for the song, well I like the music and although Robert Smith was a bit of a scum puppy, he was singing about and featured his wife Mary Poole as the angel. The ending line being, “she drowned deep inside of me”. And I realized that this was true of Udi, she drowned a great many years ago – only the dream remains. Dreams of course are not reality and certainly she is not and never will be again a part of my reality (leastwise I pray NOT!). And this brings much peace as well, differing in that it is not the distance which is bring the peace but the mental realization/acceptance finally. Long time getting there or healing or whatever.
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