Dilbert Moment

 One of the funny memories from my last job:

We had a building called the “Black Box”.  First, it is black top to bottom.  But, it is also one of those places where top secret stuff occurs and people whom can not talk about their jobs work.  So, with that introduction, you may enjoy this Dilbert moment…..

I had a 9:00 meeting and was a little frustrated as I walked up to the building.  It was the “Black Box”, some place I am not supposed to be, some place I could get into real trouble - I did not want to deal with today.

I stopped just short of the door contemplating what to do.  I had to attend the meeting but they had poorly chosen a location for it.

“Kris, what are you doing here?”

I turned to see a co-worker from years ago.  “Have a meeting here.”

“Yeah, me too.”  He pulls out his pass and swipes it through machine.  Cool, I can follow him in!

“Say, aren’t you East German?”  Dang, caught!

“According the US Government.”

“You are from East Germany though, right?”

“No, never been there.”

“Then why are you East German?”

“The US Government decided I was because my father was.”

“Ah, you father is from East German?”

“No, he is Swiss.”

“How can he be Swiss if he is East German?”

“Someone in the government decided he was…”

“Well, where were you born?”

“On a US military base where my father was taking classes.”

“So, you are US then!”

“Yeah, if your father wasn’t East German anyways.”

We both laugh as he tries to get the door open.  It will not work, nor will it for the next two people.

“So, what are you then?”

“Well, born as a Swiss-German dual citizen and US naturalized 1975.”

“So you are US then!”

“Yeah, but try and get someone in government to understand that.”

Four more people have joined us; no one can get the door to open.  Finally, figuring I had nothing to loose, since no one else can get in – I swipe my card, viewing the three armed guards not smiling now on the opposite side of the door glass.  The door swings open and we surge forward to our meeting we are all late for.

But, the meanest looking of the guards blocks the way.  “You”, he says pointing at me “Can pass.  The rest of you over there…”  He is pointing to a holding area.

I quietly sneak past and find my meeting.  The others all joined about half an hour later.  My friend slid beside me and quietly commented, “Sure wish I was East German…”

Validity of Culture

By definition a civilization or culture must provide these efforts, if it is to succeed and prosper:

1. Ability to care for the young
2. Ability to educate required knowledge
3. Ability to pass on traditional values
4. Ability to protect national interests
5. Ability to care for the elderly

Yes, no rocket science here.  If you can not care for your young – your civilization will die.  If you can not educate your citizens – you will cease being able to care for yourselves and the culture will die.  If you can not pass on traditional values – someone else’s value will replace yours and the culture will die.  If you can not protect your national interests – you will be acquired by your neighbors and your culture will die.  If you can not protect your elderly – you will not share in their history and wisdom – thus you will not be able to acquire education, values, etc – you are already dead and just do not know it! 

Just plain common sense, of course I had to learn this for a major exam in college (politics – bleech!).  Obviously, you may already realize that today’s system of civilization, “western civilization”, does not hold to these 5 arguments.  So, there is a similar list for what will destroy a culture as well – from another test in politics I was forced to do.  However, this time it was interesting:

“The following five attributes marked Rome at its end:  first, a mounting love of show and luxury;  second, a widening gap between the very rich and the very poor;  third, an obsession with sex;  fourth, freakishness in the arts, masquerading as originality, and enthusiasms pretending to be creativity;  fifth, an increased desire to live off the state.”

Edward Gibbon, wrote this line between 1776-1788 in his book, ‘The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire’.  What an interesting observation he made.  Was he correct?  Certainly, about the Roman Empire, without a question.  And you know as well as I, these five cultural conditions did not just ‘happen’ and then suddenly came the end of Rome.  Surprise!  No, it took time, it came gradually, across several generations.  But, none the less, the mightiest empire the world has ever seen, fell to a group of Visigoth invaders from central Europe.  It was not superiority of line commanders’ intellect, nor Visigoth weapon’s technology, nor did the Visigoth’s fielded a larger army, but it had to do with internal corruption within the Roman Empire itself.  The rot ran from the lowest peasant to the highest officials.

If this was what destroyed Rome, as Gibbon’s observed, then can this be true of other empires?  In other words, can we learn something here by looking at history?  Certainly, these attributes were true of the Greeks, the Egyptians, the Israelite Kingdom and all of the Persian empires.  The far flung British Empire, the 20^th century Fascist and Communist states and to an extent even China have not been exempt from these conditions.  And, they all fell due to their own internal failures as well as the predominant culture at the time of their conquests.  Apparently, with wealth and security comes the degradation of the standards for culture, morality, value of human life and then comes the end.

Sound like anybody we know?  I can think of quite a few candidates rather easily…..

Worldliness

As Christians we are supposed to be different – to dress different, to be ornamented differently, our activities are NOT supposed to be the activities of the world!

When you choose living as though there is no tomorrow – you are worldly.

When you choose living as if there is no responsibility – you are worldly.

When you want to do as your peers do – you are worldly.

When you must have what everyone else has – you are worldly.

If no one can look at you and see you are different – you are worldly.

There are no dress rehearsals for life – this is it!

Pretty black and white, huh?

But, then again, that is exactly how God is – sorry, no shades of gray in Heaven……

Saturday

Saturday, I settled down at Starbucks with two venti ice teas and a scone. I have been meeting with MD’s “boyfriend” for a month now; discussing life, the universe and everything else.

After half an hour of talking about several topics, he reached in his pocket, flipped open a box and set it in front of me. I looked down at a small engagement ring and then back up at the face of a very nervous young man.

“I am very flattered, but honestly, I really do not want to marry you”

His mouth opened and closed a few times, much like a fish out of water, as his eyes glazed over. Behind me, a group of locals grew real quiet…..

“No, no, no! It is for your daughter!”

“Well, which one?”

Return of the fish momentarily.

Eventually, I offered him my hand and told him that it came with conditions; like he would be accepted as a son and that meant he had to put up with me…..

Heh, heh, heh, heh!

Letting Go

There has been an interesting discussion revolving around the household concerning faith. The lady living upstairs is concerned because she sees such poor faith being shown by kids in the church. The missions minded young lady is concerned because she saw such poor faith being displayed by the other workers in her mission last year. All of my kids, “Whatever…..” Which lead to a very interesting, very long discussion with Timothy.

His brother-in-law is in rehab right now, third time in a one year period, for alcoholism. No one is going to argue that the guy is a Christian, he isn’t. No one is going to argue that the guy has some real addiction problems, he does. No one is going to argue that anything other than an incredible change in his will power or a miracle through salvation in Jesus is going to change anything.

But, extrapolate this man’s condition across all of mankind. Yeah, that is the kind of stuff we do for fun.

Being a Christian and supposedly living (walking by faith), is that any different than this alcoholic trying to kick the habit? We are human, we are buffeted by human desires constantly – some fairly base in nature, yet we are supposed to be changed creatures and overcoming this nature. Just as Timothy’s brother-in-law has to fight the desire to drink when he sees advertisements, or movies, or even is with his friends when they pop a brew. See what I am driving at?

If you can not ‘Let Go’, you can not overcome any situation. If you can not let go of alcohol, you will suffer the consequences. If you can not let go of (fill in the blank) you will suffer whatever the long term effects are of whatever you put in the blank space.

For the Christian, you have a ton to let go of because it is not expeditious for you not to in the long run. Oh sure, you can probably live a fat happy life without total commitment or letting go, but then again, you will never achieve whatever your Creator’s goal was for you.

Thinking on this past year, and I have had nothing but a ton of time to think!, I see so much of our endeavors as being completely worthless in the long term. I am not thinking Francis of Assisi kind of Christians as actually being the example here, but to the mindset I am.

If you ever knew or read any of Bill Bright’s material from back in the 1960’ – 1970’s, his push was towards a completed Christian – where all that we do is designed and dedicated to God. I now understand his push in this regard; everything we do can be used as a witness for God (within reason ok guys?!) We can have interests, we can run businesses, we can use all to tell the world about God. Of course, the mess the world is in today is because too many have compromised far too much.

How do we take back the witness of Christ from Hollywood and the politically correct? By letting go, saying:
• “Ok Jesus, I am going to not support xyz because they are pulling people and the culture away from you.”
• “Ok Jesus, I am going to give you just one hour a week to use me and I expect you to!” (Trust me, most Christians are not of any heavenly good for even an hour a month!)
• “Ok Jesus, you show me where to go/ what to do, and I will do it!”
• “Ok Jesus, show me how I can follow you.”
• “Ok Jesus, help me to build my faith in you.”
• “Ok Jesus, help me to let go…..”

*****

I actually hate the thought of people reading my blogs because, hey, whom am I? But for this one, I really want people to stop and think about their lives, where they are headed, what they are doing. My words are just that, but maybe God can stir something in the reader’s heart to take a new tact in life. One of service to Jesus, as the Christ and not one of vain self glorification…..

The Poser

Wonder if you run into people like this or am I just blessed?

Back at the range with my now less than trusty Marlin Papoose. I set up on the 50 yard section, made sure everything was in order; ammo arranged properly, rifle pointed down range, magazine out, screen in place to stop my brass from whacking anyone. I retired to behind the non-fire line to wait for a target check so I could put out a new one.

As I stood there, a “military” type (meaning he thinks he is military and dresses like he is, acts like he is and everyone knows he is a total poser) literally tried to body check me into a support pole for the range roof. Unfortunately, for him, not only am I five inches taller but also out weighed him by at least 70 pounds! And, due to my healing left foot , I had all of my weight on my right foot when he hit me.

I slowly lowered my left boot on to his foot and pinned him firmly in place until the range master, whom had seen this and was running over, had a chance to give him a royal tongue lashing. He apologized and left to go down range, as it was now time for the target check.

Of course, the first thing he did was run over to my old target and toss it. Range master had to give him another lecture.

Time for practice and the man now proceeds to dump a full clip through his M-15 as fast as he can, hot brass falling all over me and three others. Range master comes a running again.

So, I moved to the opposite side of the range. But, even here, over the sounds of multiple rifles going off and a set of ear plugs, I can still hear him hollering about making bulls eye’s so loudly - I was thinking of shooting him myself! But, then again, my rifle was not hitting on target. Maybe I should jut club him with it? I see the now stressed range master walking down the range again, slowly twisting a rag in his hands.

A few minutes later, everyone is ready for a target check and standing behind the line – except for this work of art. So, I holler at him it is time for a target check and between curses he tells me no way. I might mention, so loudly that here comes the range master again!

He is now shooting a .30-06, grabs a round, jams it in and KABOOM! Creates parts all over the range! Yeah, he had a .308 NATO in his box of .30-06 shells!

The range master gently set his hand firmly on the now sobbing jerk’s shoulder, encouraging him to pack it up and go home for the day.

Later, I went to congratulate the range master on his incredible patience. He was sitting alone at a table in the clubhouse; a screwdriver in one hand and a wrench in the other, shaking. Just sitting there shaking. His eyes could not even focus on me.

Yeah. Seen that one more than a few times. That was one lucky jerk; I doubt he even knew how close he came to ….. well, learning all about what someone with real battle experience (and fatigue) is completely capable of.

Disgusted

Dutchman came through town looking to celebrate his birthday with me. Since we are 19 days apart, we have celebrated almost all birthdays together since we turned 19. Anyone remember Pizza and Pipes in Federal Way? Yeah, it was quite a party that first year….

Like me, Dutchman transferred his rifles over here, so we picked up a few pieces and went shooting. Ok, he picked up six and I only one that I wanted to work with. Of course, I had been working on getting us ammo for this shoot for weeks.

But, it was a cursed shoot.

Poor Dutchman, five of his rifles had scope problems. I have to admit I have never seen so many scopes fall apart. I wonder if the shipping crate had been dropped or something?! Well, too late now to worry about, he will just have to fix them as he is able. His sixth rifle he had pulled for the day was my old sniper. A sweet rifle but my lord it is an unpleasant beast.

Dutchman took his first shot, which brought people running to find out what the heck he was shooting. Yeah, I think I told you the story once about my first time with that rifle and how people were throwing up 75 meters away on my second shot! It was about the same for Dutchman. He looked back and me with that guy grin that says, “I love this! Help me, I think I ruptured my spleen….”

Of course, one can not admit they might have been injured, at least until we were walking to check the targets and he could not lift his right arm. (Ok, I will admit I am smiling here….) So, his day was over.

Now I had brought a Marlin Papoose of about 40 years in age. Love that little guy and had been working on my ballistics to figure out how it would shoot at 100 yards. In theory, with a 4-12x scope it should perform quite well. Yeah, in theory.

No idea what was going on but across 7 brands of ammo, not a single bullet hit the paper. I did manage to kick up a dirt clod that whacked the target though.

Sigh, back to my research to figure out what went wrong. And, I am not beyond believing that it might be the ammo. I just have to find my chronograph, somewhere in this disaster to know for sure if it was me, the ammo, or even a bent barrel.

Sure would suck if it was me.

Aftershave?

On Saturday’s I go to an art demonstration and lecture over in Seattle.  So, I steeled myself the typical, Kris will be the youngest one there again.  Doesn’t really matter where I go or in what venue, I am always the youngest one there.  I have found that if I sit in the back and stay really quiet - the gray hairs will leave me alone.  When I don’t, you would be amazed at the poor reactions I get from people (most only a few years older than me at best) if I sit up front and ask intelligent questions.  Sigh…..  People can be such dolts at times.

So, I did my usual, far right side, last row.  Then I noticed that people were sitting around me!  This was a real first.  Then I notice that they are all female and there are plenty of other seats.  What the heck?!  Finally, one of them, finding no seat within three of me, decides to sit on me!  Yeah, not like there were not other seats available, just that my lap looked so much more inviting I guess.

What the heck!?!?!?!!?

So, my European breeding kicked in and I surrendered my seat to the aggressive female and stood in the back.  Soon it was follow the leader time and those women were now standing around me, including the one whom claimed my lap!  Now add an older man, whom got in a pushing match with one of the ladies standing next to me and this was now almost some kind of comedy in the making.  There are plenty of seats, why is everyone standing by me?  And, Kris is getting a little anxious here as to what on earth is going on!

All of this made for watching the demonstration a little difficult.  I was able to get the main ideas out of what he was doing and how.  Which was what I wanted to know, but the darn females and the flake were making this very distracting!

I left and went to look at watercolor paper.

An hour on the road, as I headed for home, savoring a Starbucks ice tea, I was finally able to put the anxiety behind me and just relax.

I think I need to change my aftershave…..

The Strong Willed Woman

Scribble, scribble, scribble.  She busily wrote on her note pad.  Eh, whatever, I was busy driving.

Tap, tap, tap.  Her pen bounced off of the notepad.  “Hmm, well maybe, oh okay.”

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing.” 

I continued to enjoy the road and the hum of the motor.

“Okay, I have got it!”

“Got what?”

“That you are a strong willed woman!”

“What are you talking about?”

“At the women’s retreat they gave a test and I just took it for you.  You are a strong willed woman.”

“I am I guy, not a woman and I am far less strong willed than you are.”

“Are not!”

“Are too!”

“Ok, take the test yourself then!”  She throws the papers at me.

“See, just what I mean, you are more strong willed than me.  That just translated to a driver personality!”

“I am not a driver!”

“Yes you are, you are driving me crazy with this stupid idea!”   She settles back and begins to ask me questions…..

“If I say impossible, you say ----“ “It will take a little longer to accomplish.”

“If I say you are both loving and a cold hearted %$# ….” “Might depend on if I like you.”

“If I say you argue to win a point ---“ “Ha! I do not argue just for fun of it.  Well, maybe….”

“You stir up trouble when you are bored ---“ “Do not, ok maybe, well sometimes.”

“Rules are really guidelines----“  “Only to control the masses.”

“You are very creative ---“  “So, your point is?”

“You can blow an issue all out of proportion ---“  “Oh, now I do not do that!  Why I remember just a week ago you …..”  “Thank you, point proven!”

“You have to understand ‘Why’, before you will act---“  “Yeah, …..?”

“Things have be done on your terms ---“  “Only because I am more practical than most…”  “Yeah, I noticed that once about you…..”

“You are always willing to face the unknown ---“  “Of course, I also do dishes.”

“You can twist a request into an ultimatum….”  “I do not!”  “Of course you do, now let’s finish the test.”  “No, this is stupid.  You are making this stuff up!”  “Ok, check that one off!”

“You do not apologize, but you do make things better ----“  “Hey, I say I am sorry when I need to!”

“Game and match!”

“What?”

“You are a strong willed woman!  Twelve points out of twelve!”

She started laughing like the crazy woman she really is……

I have a new test I want to give her; ‘You Are A Sucky Friend’.  But, I can not come up with the question to follow, “Is your name ….”

Entitlement

On my last trip to Mexico, I became uncomfortably aware at how much we feel we are entitled to.  Observing tourists behaving poorly because they had to wait for a table, or service was slow or something was not cooked the way they expected – this is showing that they believe they are entitled to immediate seating, quick service, unspoken expectations over food, etc.  Were they children we would refer to them as spoilt!  But the same was true in traffic – and a source of many accidents!  Bargaining in the market place again showed this tendency towards the entitlement mentality.

There is only one way to cure a sense of entitlement – through a spirit of thanksgiving.

1.  Put away  your PRIDE.

Psalm 10:4 – we do not deserve what we want.  (thankfully, we also do not get what we do deserve!)

2.  Be watchful for unconscious HABITS.

1 Corinthians 2:6-7 - Do not expect how God has blessed you yesterday to be how He will bless you today or tomorrow!  He will give or take as He sees fit each day, as He chooses.

3.  Stop being BLIND.

Colossians 4:2 - You must learn to see not only what is really important in life, but also God’s working not only in your life but in other’s as well!  He is there, He is working, we just have to be able to see – and that takes our willingness to open our eyes.

4.  Get beyond the FALSE TEACHINGS which surround us.

Philippians 4:6 - Probably the most dangerous to the faith of ourselves and those around us are the health and wealth gossip teachings.  The Bible does not promise us riches or health or success.  But this teaching leads us to expect this, to demand this, to be spoilt children before our Creator!  We owe God everything – not the other way around!

5.  Develop an attitude of GRATEFULNESS.

 1 Thessalonians 5:18 - You have the choice to be thankful to God or not, in all circumstances.  But, you must recognize that everything in your life is a gift of God, to bless us, to offer opportunity for growth and as a witness to others.  You must acknowledge that the giver of all things is God.  You must choose to receive all God has given you in your life with thanksgiving.

Develop humility before God.  Reject the spirit of entitlement.

Admit God does not owe you anything!  Say it out loud, right now, until you believe what you are hearing!  All we deserve is death and judgment.

Accept the gift of the Gospel.

Yeah, this is stuff that is all counter to the normal spirit of man – where we are number one.  Period.  But, this is what each of us needs to overcome in order to be true servants of God.  Putting others sacrificially before ourselves and expecting nothing in return.

Yeah, not easy at all…..

The Sin of Pride

The first time I heard the song, Everybody Wants to Rule the World, as done by Tears For Fears, was at the end the movie, Real Genius.  The tune was catchy and I have to admit I thought about the words.

Shortly after first seeing this movie, I was to see an interview with the songwriter and his discussing how he had written this following the birth of his first child.  Yeah, made sense in some odd way.  Because a baby has little choice of right or wrong, much less willingly conforming their environment or behavior to fit with their desires.  He was describing the struggle of the little guy against nature.

Of course, the concept is far more true of us as adults.  We willingly make choices and often fight to force the environment or others to fit within our desires.  Kids do this all of the time, just think of a group of them wanting to play a game and the long fights they get into over what the rules will be!

And, it does not seem to matter the state of man, position in Christ nor much any other factor – man – each of us – all of us – want to control our environment and those around us.  We seem by nature to be proud and boastful…..

And yet, this is exactly the condition which is condemned in our Bible.  Consider Proverbs and the list of the problems of Pride or being Proud:

• Is hated.
• It brings disgrace.
• Causes fights.
• Brings destruction.
• Brings you low.

• They will be mocked.
• God detests them.
• Our downfall.

None of these outcomes is much to be desired, which is to say when you wake up in the morning: “Gee, this is a great day to be hated/disgraced/get into fights/be destroyed/ be brought down/ mocked/ be detested/have a downfall/etc.”  Yeah, not a positive attribute at all!

And Paul writes to Timothy (3:1-5), describing the type of person I never want to be:

“… lovers of money, boastful, proud …”

the state of man during the last days – lovers of self and not God…..

Grief

If you have not experienced grief in your life, just wait, you will.  We grieve the loss of friends, family, jobs and possessions.  They are all, like us, here for only a short period.

But, there is another kind of grief I want to post about and perhaps something you have never considered before…..

2 Corinthians 7:8-10 but you can read through 12 if you want!

In these four verses, Paul uses the term ‘grief’ and ‘grieve’ eight times!

If you are anything like me you mess up quite a bit, never displaying the spiritual maturity and qualities you are called to.  Oh heck!  I sin!  I willingly, knowingly, and often with premeditation, flat out commit sin!  Grrrrr!  You have no idea how much I hate myself at times!

And when I do mess up, I want to instantly to run to God and seek His Grace.  I want forgiveness!  ‘Cause I suck.  I want to feel better about myself!

But, Paul is talking about something else here, grieving over our sin.  Yeah, honest to gosh sorrow over our failure to be and to do as we should!  As Paul tells us in this passage, grief/sorrow leads to real repentance, which will bring about change in our lives!

We need to understand grief.  We need to have grief in our spirits over our sin.  Without grief, change may not be possible from our sinful ways.

• See grief as a gift from God that will lead you into His Grace.

• Allow God to use grief for His purposes in your life.

• Treat grief as a Yield Sign and not a Stop Sign.

What am I talking about?  Grief is something God can give us to make our understanding of our sin real to us.  We should mourn our failures to God, but that is a healthy – not berating ourselves for years or even dredging up the past sort of mourning.  Understand your sin, be truly sorrowful for you being you, confess and walk away from the sin and your past failures.  Period.  Life goes on.

Often our brothers and sisters can really get wrapped around the axles over who they were and what they have done – that would be the unhealthy kind of grief……