The Myth of the Promiscuous Virgin

Yes, my attacks against our sex saturated culture continues, especially with its impact upon the Church and its youth. If you want to feel condemned, read on.

Probably some of the worse advice I have ever heard was during a church staff meeting a decade ago. One of the staff had been corresponding with someone from her high school for years and now he was graduating from College and wanted her to come out for the ceremony and to see if ….well maybe…..there was something there. Her question: if things got “sticky”, how far was too far?

The unanimous answer: your body is your own and you have say over what you are willing to do or not do with someone whom you are looking for in a marriage partner.

GASP! Do you get the implications here? The overwhelming opinion amongst the Christian leaders present was that your sexual desires/preference/performance was a matter of willingness – with no hint of sin! Has the church moved so far from the Bible that there is now an expectation of sexual misconduct amongst it own staff members? I was floored and had a separate talk with the young lady, where I at least outlined God’s expectations……… And I think she was a little relieved I did so.

Obviously, the culture exerts an enormous amount of pressure upon each of us and our youth in the church, especially in the realm of sexual experimentation. And the youth gladly buy into any idea which will allow their raging hormones to run wild and not associate any wrong doing with them. No wonder we have problems as outlined in yesterday’s blog.

Young men, heaven’s any man, do you ever remember reading a passage where you are told not to defraud your brother? Have you ever wondered what this meant? It is not a reference to being honest when selling your car, although a good idea, it refers to your inappropriate activities with members of the opposite sex, whom are not your spouse. You have NO RIGHT to touch any woman sexually, whom is not already your spouse. In other words you keep your hands and other parts to yourself with every woman because they are not yours. If you do decide, what the heck, and just have a “little” fun, you have just defrauded your brother in Christ. You have taken something which in God’s legal terms belongs to the man this woman will one day marry – and it probably will not be you.

And I see and hear of this occurring constantly. Which is where the title comes from for this blog entry. Virgin defines more than just a female it means you men and your minds as well. Our culture tells us that sex begins when you commit the “act”. Hmmm, my Bible tells me to even took on a woman in lust is to have already committed adultery with her. In God’s terms: looking, lusting, petting, etc, etc, etc are all sexual acts. You sin, no matter how you want to justify it.

How promiscuous have you been, thinking that God really does not care and you have the only say in these matters?

God calls you to sexual purity. His idea is that you are a virgin when you marry, not just someone whom has not “gone all the way”. I would even wish my spouse’s first kiss was mine. It can be done and we know God requires of us nothing which is not possible if we have the faith to perform what He asks of us, but also do not allow ourselves to get into situations where things can get out of control sexually.

So, we have a call to strength from God. If you can not keep your zipper up young men because God told you to, or even out of respect for yourself – God tells you to consider this woman is another man’s property. Have respect for the man of this woman’s future! Young women, this goes for you as well. Do not let yourselves be pressured into situations you know in your heart are wrong. This hot guy, probably will be marrying someone else and he is not yours. You will not be making him yours by having sex with him; instead, you may end up complicating your life something awful.

Ok, so you have been a promiscuous virgin, or just promiscuous, this is your call to change! Repent of your behavior to God, name names, get personal with God – He knows it all anyways, He just wants you to agree with Him. End relationships which are currently a problem in this area of your life. Go to group dating only or chaperoned so you will not behave poorly. You might think this foolishness but God has reasons behind everything he desires for us. Even if you get engaged – stay safe and sane – chaperoned events do not have to be intrusive or obvious or embarrassing!

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We have a God whom specializes in making all hidden things known in the lives of those whom would be called by his name. You may think you are getting away with something – but God will see that it gets known and through the most embarrassing of manners. Unexpected pregnancies, disease, unexpected visitors at awkward moments, etc – all are easily within the realm of God attempting to correct you and get you back into line with what He expects from you. I see it all the time…..

Young men like to talk and brag, they do it without regard as to their environment or extended audience. I can go to the local Denny’s, have a slice of pie with tea any afternoon, when school is out, and listen to the guys from the local high school regaling each other with tales of their conquests. Unfortunately, I often know the young women involved in these tales. I feel sorry for them because they have no idea at how they are being used and the terms being used to describe them. I feel also for the young men when they desire to “date” one of my daughters because I am not beyond openly discussing their sexual “conquests” with in front of the daughter they expect to date!

I already know what their desires really are and they need to know I know……..