Dehumanizing

Since I have several friends currently going through separations and/or divorces, I have had a lot of drama to watch around me!  And somehow I get dumped on, since people want my opinion – yah like I am some sort of human relations expert.  Sigh…..

One aspect I have always wondered about is how each has the ability to utterly the kill the other in their mind.   I realize this is not a Christian virtue, in fact it is quite the opposite.  Divorce is so alien to the Christian concept and yet I see so much of it amongst the Christians I know.  And where prayer and compassion should be our reaction, anger – hatred – murder fill their minds.  Eventually the other is dehumanized to the point they no long exist, and should their paths cross, it is but a ghost they might remember if they thought real hard about it.

Originally I have theorized that the concept of Christian marriage is the problem – it is not being communicated to our hormonal youth and foolish young people.  And yet, as I read my Bible, even if you did marry someone not of your faith – God still promises to bless your marriage, maybe it will just be a little harder on you.  So, that must not be it.

I have thought on this whole hormonal issue.  Could it be that this culture of dating and freedom of choice is really to blame?  It is certainly a major factor in the divorce statistics and yet, I now do not think this is the answer either.

As I have had some thinking time lately, I realize now the real problem: a lack of character, a lack of conscience, a lack of courage – all compounded by an abundance of cultural ego.  Our culture has stripped us of our will to over ride our basic instincts!  I just realized this today…..

If character is defined as who I am when no one is watching, and I am selfish enough to only care about myself – not my family, not my friends, not my integrity, not my witness; then it becomes so clear how divorce becomes almost a requirement in today’s marriage.  We are in life for ourselves and not to sacrifice for each other.

Our conscience is seared by the sex saturated culture which surrounds us.  “Everybody” does it.  “Everybody” must be seeking the next best sexual experience, it is our nature!  Or so, culture would tell us.  And with our hyper developed egos running full throttle, do not I deserve the best pleasures out there – for ME?  This is the message being given to our children 24x7, heavens even in my own teenage years!  In my high school years I can remember the constant hammering of how everyone in the school was “doing it”.  But, I wondered whom “everyone” was.  I knew I was not.  I knew my two best friends were not.  I knew at least a half dozen girls, other than my girl friend, whom were not.  So, whom were these people?  Of course, it was a lie.

This problem of conscience extends to lack of honor, lying, honesty, friendship, etc.  All aspects of life are compromised by this egocentric focus of getting “ours” at everyone else’s expense.  Want to meet women whom have had 3 or more divorces?  Check out any high school - you will meet the emotional equivalents there.

Courage – I think this must be a nasty word today, it seems to be completely lacking in our culture.  I am not talking about the manly-man, whom exists to protect the weak female (oooh!) or the knight in shining armor headed out to fight the dragon.  I am talking about your conviction to say and do what is right, to face issues straight on. 

I see so much wavering by Christian leaders.  Heavens!  If they themselves are not being caught up in sexual scandal and being exposed internationally, then they are making excuses for those whom are!  We need to be able to call sin – SIN.  We need to be able to communicate to the next generation why sin is sin.  And, not offer excuses for the fact that sin exists!

I know as a father the temptation is to say, “It’s ok, you are not the first one to xyz, and you will not be the last.  But, you just need to keep going and put it behind you….. blah blah blah blah!”  In reality though, it is harder to say something like, “This is SIN, this is why God sees this as SIN, now how are we going to deal with this nature in your life?”

As I said, this has been a long thinking process and I only started coming to conclusions.  Perhaps tomorrow or next week I will have a more finite perspective, but for now this is where my thinking is on this issue….