God In The House

Much to my displeasure I find something I have suspected since April is actually true – my oldest daughter (OD) is about to make me a grandfather.  Of course, she has chosen to keep the child and marry the father – whom believes there is now a target painted on his back…

So what better way is there to talk about the differences between cultural Christianity and real Christianity than with my own family.  Sigh.

Cultural Christianity tells us that we are going to fail and sin but we still have the ability to do the “right” thing, at least by man’s rules.  So, even though OD chose poorly, she is at least doing the “right” thing by marrying the man – thus it is all “okay”.

Real Christianity though lays out a somewhat different path.  We have to address the problem, before we can go forward.  Here the problem is rebellion.  If you have been around long enough (Blog 1) you know that OD decided when she turned 18 she no longer needed parental advice and moved out.  For the next year our relationship was at best poor.  However, with the Godly advice of Kelly http://kelly-kellyskorner.blogspot.com/, a semi-normal relationship has been restored.  And now she is pregnant, what began with her rebellion to me transferred to rebellion against what she knew was right – and knew long before she ever met me.

Now, she does not believe her choices have been necessarily wrong.  However, I was able to get her to understand that she did not wake up one morning and say, “Gosh, I would really like to get pregnant by a non-Christian guy and bring shame upon myself at church and in my family…”  No, sin comes in easily little steps, thus quickly carrying you far from where you should be.  And so, what began with her refusal to listen to me at age 18 and “live her own life” was really sin.  Not that I am any smarter or spiritual than her – but because her eyes were on herself and not God’s desires for her.  Which led an 18 year old girl into the arms of a 25 year old guy.  Which led to last night’s discussion.

However, the young man in question is not a Christian.  “But, Papa, only God can decide that!  No one can say whether or not anyone else is a Christian or not!”  And here is where OD never could understand the concept of the Gifts of the Spirit.  I never pushed her in this area because she had so much more to learn.  I always thought I had time to fully disciple her…  “Father” though will admit to having Discernment – as God wills, to know generally what natural man could not.  So, yes, if it is important, God does reveal to me the true natures of people, peoples and situations.  Then again, I can be frustratingly blind and stupid as well.  So, I can at least say in this situation – he is not a Christian.

So, to what end have I shared this situation?

I told my daughter – I am her father no matter what.  God saw to that when He brought her into my life.  That does not mean I approve of what she has done – but I fully understand that only God can create life and what is in her – is by the grace of God and now she needs to step up to responsibility in the raising of that life.  Or to put differently for some of you whom are not following this well, what sin has created – God will use for His good, not necessarily OD’s.

As to the proposed marriage; well, I am more concerned about her marrying a non-Christian than I am her having a child out of wedlock.  Yes, her friends, church members and town will probably brand her for life with gossip – either way.  But, you know, she created the situation, now she needs to live with it in humility before God.  I expect to welcome a grand daughter into this life, no matter her last name.

I would of course be remiss in not having a gloves off conversation with a certain young man.  But, there is no need to fear.  My concern is he understand, perhaps for the first time, his need for a Savior – spiritually speaking.  And to that end your prayers are greatly desired, I hope to speak with him this evening).

Hopefully, I will have more to say tomorrow….