A Dream

I attended a conference once where the subject came up concerning “dysfunctional families”.  The speaker answered philosophically there was no such thing as a dysfunctional family, only differing norms.  At lunch I took him on, with my little German heels stiffly dug into the ground.  By the time I was done with him he had to admit he was completely incorrect as he had never actually encountered such a situation before.  The example?  My family.

I do have a mother and father.  My father left my life when I was nine (1964) and I was not to have any real contact again until 2003 – when he decided he wanted to be a grandfather for some reason.  Conversely, my mother and I had a strained relationship through the years until I had adopted my children in Russia when she wrote me off and I have not seen her since 1998! 

But, for all the woes of having probably the worse parents in the history of mankind (you would not believe the stories I could share!), I had a grandmother and a great-aunt whom I loved dearly and my Danish great-uncle – in whose shadow I have tried to walk my life.

From the time I was three years old until I was eleven, when he died, I lived with him for every summer on his dairy farm.  Which as a parent, alone blows my mind!  I loved my time with him and leaving to go home was always a tearful event.  With his death, I was very much left fatherless.  The cold creature that showed up occasionally to see I got a good thrashing accomplished nothing other than to further alienate me.  He never understood that the father whom was imprinted upon my soul was not him.  My father was now in God’s hands, and my new father was now spiritual – not physical….

I have not thought about Leonard, my great-uncle, in years, until last night, when I had a dream…..

I dreamt that after years of searching for him, I finally found him in a rest home, where he had been living for the past forty years.  I picked him up and took him over to see his old farm (which is now a housing development), and his old home was still there (not in reality however!).  So I went up to the door, knocked and introduced myself to a woman whom now owned it.  She was in the process of cleaning the home with her elderly parents.

I walked them around their home, telling them what it had been like almost fifty years ago to grow up here.  Her parents were very interested and we had some great conversations.  But, the woman obviously did not trust me and refused to even look at me (shades of reality here?).

My great-uncle wanted to go treasure hunting, as he had buried thousands of dollars in silver coins on the property.  But, I had to calm him down as the property was no longer his.

Through this seemingly endless dream, of great reality, I found myself caring for him, probably much as he had cared for me as a wee child.  Oh yes, he was grumpy and growl-ly just like all really old people I have known, but it was a part of him I loved. 

And as I watched him roam around his old farm, I realized I was very much at peace and happy on the inside for the first time, in a very long time……

With this, I must close.  For I loved him greatly and today I miss him more than I have since the day I heard of his death.  Thank you God for even that brief moment with him again.