Work For God

Bosnia Wants Me Dead

I am a guy.  I do not notice most things.  Like most guys, I usually am not thinking on much of anything either.  Like most guys I would never admit to anything else…

Friday night, Diedre wanted to go Christmas shopping and as I have a running car (for a change!), while hers continues to languish in her drive with a blown four wheel drive transaxle (they only made 83 of!), I took her to town.  Shopping!  Argh!  But, good to get out of the house, away from noisy kids and be with an adult for a change!

So, we were walking down a busy street looking in windows when suddenly she was at my side, slipping her arm in mine and squeezing it.  What the heck?  I could not see that by burying her nose in my armpit was going to be exactly a brilliant idea and I am sure she is not the current Canton armpit checker either.

“What are you doing?”

“Protecting you.”

“From what, terrorists?”

“No.”

“Muggers?”

“No.”

“Ah, police.”

“No.”

“Blonde ninja’s?”

“No.”  She laughed and wrinkled her nose.  “The girl who was eying you.”

“What girl?  Where?”  I was looking around.  Not often I get eyed by anything other than a Saint Bernard these days.

“Brown coat, badly dyed hair to match.  She looked hungry.”

She must have gone in a store as I could not see her. 

“I have a few extra francs.  We could have bought her something….”

“No, no, no!  Not that kind of hungry!”

“What then?”

Diedre sighed, “Yes, she was probably a terrorist.”

“Where from?”  It does matter where your terrorist is from after all.

“She looked Bosnian.”  And caught herself too late. 

(Bosnia was where my cousin was killed by paramilitary terrorists, as were those in his and the other medics’ care.  Although I had not even known about what happened to him yet, I was concerned enough about what was happening to the Christians that I and others implemented a plan to neutralize these groups and stop the killings.  There was a time when certain Bosnian elements had wanted a piece of me for this.  So, Bosnia is sort of a taboo subject around me.)

I pretended not to notice, just as I had pretended not to notice the brown haired looker only moments earlier when I had sucked in my gut.  But, if she was Bosnian…  I bit my lip and thought on this for a moment.

“Maybe she was a Romanian Gypsy and just wanted to lift my wallet?”

“I doubt it.”

Me too.  I carry my wallet in my front pants pocket so I am always aware of where it is and if anyone other than me is wanting it.

We walked in silence for a few more seconds.

“Oh, %$#$#@#@ !  My wallet is gone!”  She wailed…

Now where did she learn to talk like that!

Luckily, we stumbled across Timothy a little later, whom got to buy dinner for all of us.  As for Diedre’s wallet, she had dropped it in my car, we were to learn later…

Holiday Eating Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet
table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots,
leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can - And quickly. It's rare. You
cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares
that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to
turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat.  Enjoy it!  Have
one for me ... Have two! It's later than you think.  It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of
gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of
your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano.  Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or
whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports
car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control
your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat
other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now
and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have
nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need
after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and
that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet
table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa,
position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as
you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a
beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to
see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or
if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always
have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor
Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the
mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost.  I mean, have
some standards!

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party
or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read
tips: Start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.


Have a great & Happy Holiday Season!!!

First Snow

Poverty

This post is in answer to an eMail, which I felt would be of interest to several of you.  The writer wondered about my lack of really funny stories from Mexico.  There were several strange situations, in fact Dutchman again commented that were it not for bad luck – I would have no luck at all!

And, the writer pointed out I had made no comment concerning females.  No, my lack of comment did not have to do with Gaelic Girl being there.

In fact, GG (by God’s providence) saved me from almost certain difficulty to say the least.  To keep it simple: if one were to hunt divorced or widowed women of any age, Puerto Vallarta would be your venue.  If you were looking for young wishing to marry, again PV would be your choice.  If you found silicon to be more interesting than the woman inside, well again PV is it.  If you were looking to play, while the cat was away, yep, PV again.  Things were a little loose and opportunity abounded.

Try to remember this is a general summation not a specific observation… Now to address the issue and not quite what you were expecting: 

There are many kinds of poverty.  I wrote of the financial poverty I saw in Puerto Vallarta and made reference to the physical poverty I observed as well.  Those are not the point of this post – spiritual poverty is.

1 Corinthians 4:7 lays out an interesting comment at how the Corinthians considered themselves rich, when in fact they were very poor.  They suffered from spiritual poverty and I guess I never got the impact of this statement prior to this trip.

Roman Catholicism is the basic faith of the population.  There are signs that it is not just for show.  So, I would expect them to be rich in their faith!  But, just as they are physically poor – so is their spiritual state.

How can I say this?

Why would senoritas be parading themselves for the “gringos”, lest they sought hope out of their plight?  No these were not “hookers”.  Why would so many young women be with/have children and obviously living in lonesome poverty, unless they made poor spiritual choices?  Why would abortion be an issue here, outside of those young women hoping to forget a mistake?  How desperate must a young woman be to try and leap at the first Swiss beluga they have ever seen?

No not every young woman was on the make but enough were.  I am more than a bit concerned for the youth of this region, especially for the young women.  In fact my heart weeps for one young lady I met – fair and smart, yet with no ability to see that she is not the exception to what has happened to all around her…..

Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven….  Albeit with the misery of their lives before them.

Teaching Math

Teaching Math in 1950s:

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1970s:

A logger exchanges a set "L" of lumber for a set "M" of money. The cardinality of set "M" is 100. Each element is worth one dollar. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set "M." The set "C", the cost of production contains 20 fewer points than set "M." Represent the set "C" as a subset of set "M" and answer the following question: What is the cardinality of the set "P" of profits?

Teaching Math in 1980s:

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Math in 1990s:

By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees?

Teaching Math in 2000s:

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $120. How does Arthur Andersen determine that his profit margin is $60?

Continuing Sagas

Recently I wrote of one of “my” boys whom had desired the pastorate only to find himself in jail for a crime he did not commit.  Due to good behavior, he was allowed out for a church visit today.  It was so exciting to see a very different young man in front of me.  Continue to keep this young man in your prayers – he has much to face and get back on track on.

Last year I wrote of one of “my” girls whom had come for a visit from college in California.  She had decided to move back home (really did not like California!), married a guy she knew in high school and stays in touch.  She miscarried last weekend.  She has always been emotionally weak – so although she denies it – probably needs some prayer as well.

Remember artist girl?  Her mother put her in exile in Arizona?  Her school I guess is changing greatly and she is not very happy at the moment.  Plus she slipped on the ice and greatly damaged a knee.  So, remember her as well.

As I write this, my “nephew’s” mother is staying here for a mini-vacation.  She needs much prayer as her marriage is failing (husband discovered drugs and alcohol!) and her son’s pending marriage is eating at her.  She blasts off tomorrow and is on better ground right now, but with the holidays, I suspect she will continue to need much prayer.  Especially over the next 40 days to the wedding.

All the home news I have for now!