Remarriage

It has amazed me the sheer numbers of remarried Christian couples I have encountered. It is horrible to realize that statistically 50% of Christian marriages will end in divorce, it is worse to realize how little concern is expressed when the Christian then remarries. But, this is what I wish to explore this time around.

When your spouse dies, Paul encourages you to remarry, particularly if you are young. You don’t have to, but Paul saw no problems with your doing so.

When your spouse has left you – either through abandonment or divorce, Paul tells us to remain single in hopes of reconciling with one another.

However, in Paul’s day, it was not unusual for the husband to abandon his first wife and marry a younger woman. Notice that I did not say divorce! Yah, if the man were to have divorced his wife, he would have to return the dowry – which he may not have wanted to do or been able to afford to do. So he would just “lose” her and go his merry way finding the next Misses.

What did Paul say to do then? You still needed your divorce paperwork, the return of your dowry and if your spouse had remarried, you were free to remarry since they had broken the covenant.

You are also not to remarry an ex-spouse if they have married someone since leaving you!

But, I look and I see a great many Christians whom are marrying divorced Christians, whose spouses are still single. Heavens, I know of Christian couples whom divorced so they could marry or at least "date" others! So, it is obvious the Church no longer understands the point of marriage is to stay committed to one and only one spouse! The lack of discretion in performing these ceremonies, exhibited by the Church, only strengthens the concept that marriage really is not as important as it should be to us!

Marriage has to be a sacred joining since God uses the image of Christ and the Church as being like a groom and bride. Unless someone wants to argue Christ is not committed to the Church or maybe only until He gets tired of our unfaithfulness, I would be hesitant to argue marriage is subject to the whims of man or culture.

If you have divorced, the only one you should be seeking in marriage is your ex-spouse. And, yes, you may well have to “pay” heavily both emotionally and mentally for what you have done. Grow up, get into prayer, get your life into order, buy some flowers and start begging for forgiveness. That goes both ways here……no matter your gender.

If you have remarried unbiblically, what are you to do? Well, you don’t run out and get a divorce that is for sure! Paul tells us we are to remain married to them, so they maybe blessed by God, through His blessing of you. You probably will get to do a little evangelism in your household. (Good luck! Talk about a soft sell........)

God tells us He will bless the joining of two people. He will bless your marriage, but you may just not have the fullness of the blessing you might have had otherwise nor as active a witness. You also have the complications of living with the outcome of your previous marriage – children, financial obligations, the ex-spouse’s need for council, your memories, your loss of trust, anger issues, etc. An awful lot can get in the way of your happiness in a remarriage!

Divorce and remarriage is not an easy process and a bit dicey if you want to remain a Biblical Christian. Don’t compromise your testimony. Marry with the greatest of caution. Do not play the world's games - stay out of divorce court - even if you are miserable. Remain faithful to your first spouse until there is no hope of reconciliation due to their remarriage or death. Then the choice is yours – remain faithful to the vow you took or remarry, as it is in the Lord’s will - not yours!