In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(I would laugh but I have a friend whom does this!)
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On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(Please steal me to find out!)
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On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(What were they thinking about?)
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On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But I like breaking my teeth on frozen Hungry Man dinners!)
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On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(Doh!)
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On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(Say it isn’t true!)
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On packaging for a Rowenta Iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(In a hurry? Like pain? Out of Bengay?)
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On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could save quite a bit on industrial accidents if we could just get those 3 year-olds with head-colds off construction sites!)
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On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(The coughy, snorty, take a hit and wake up on the kitchen floor medicine!)
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On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(Sounds all inclusive to me!)
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On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(I am almost afraid to ask….)
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On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(Well, no false advertising I guess!)
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On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(As opposed to?)
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On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(Were I not guilty of this one myself…….)
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On a Swedish (Husqvarna) chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(OMG! I am glad they warned me on that one!)
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